


Becoming Supergirl

by Equus



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Becoming Supergirl, Bisexual Character, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Girl Penis, Girl Penis Kara Danvers, Horseback Riding, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Masterbation, Non-Supercorp relationships and smut, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Strong Female Characters, Strong female friendships, SuperCorp, Vaginal Fingering, are integral to the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2019-06-13 20:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 41
Words: 165,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15372777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Equus/pseuds/Equus
Summary: Kara adjusting to Earth, her awkward first days of high school, starting to make friends, getting to know her family, and learning to control her powers. Taking a job at the nearby Luthor ranch she finds a safe haven from the loud, chaotic days at school. She’s just getting her feet under her when the Luthor’s beautiful, spoiled daughter returns from boarding school and turns Kara’s world upside down. After an intense affair over a holiday break, Lena and Kara are forced to go their separate ways. Both women eventually go on to colleges on opposite coasts and other relationships. Though Kara moves on with her life, her experience with Lena haunts her and derails her fate of following in Clark's footsteps into the newspaper business and secret life as a superhero. Will the women find their way back together? Will Kara still become Supergirl?





	1. It's the End of the World as We Know It

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 1-31 are all Supercorp. After that chapters containing non-Supercorp smut will be noted at the start of the chapter for readers that prefer to skip ahead.

Kara was late and standing victim to the icy stare of Dr. Grant, her first teacher of her first class since her arrival on Earth. Planet Earth, United States of America, Midvale – a very, very long way from home. High school is miserable for most Americans, but try being a newly-arrived alien, still learning English slang so you don’t sound like a robot, and struggling to keep your strengths under wraps and not break someone’s finger with a handshake. To say the least, she was anxious about her first day.  
  
It really wasn’t fair. She’d been up since dawn getting ready and dragged her protesting new sister to school well before she wanted to arrive. Then, when she got to the door of her Advanced Placement Geometry class she couldn’t go in. Her superior hearing in the chaotic halls was overloading her synapses, and by the time she found the door of her first class, she froze. She couldn’t go through the door. Trying to act casual she wandered through the halls until the bell rang and the hall got quiet. She was then able to get her bearings and started to head for the exit. She could see the light of the sun through the double door exit when she bumped right into a solid, smiling figure looming over her.  
  
“Are you lost? You don’t look familiar, are you a new student?”  
  
“Yes, sir. I…. couldn’t find my class…” Could he tell she was lying? It seemed he was looking right through her.  
  
“The first day can be very confusing. Where are you trying to go?”  
  
“I’m looking for Dr. Grant’s math class.” Kara offered weakly.  
  
“Well, she won’t be impressed with you arriving late. Why don’t I take you there and try to take the edge off?”  
  
“Um, OK, thank you, sir.”  
  
“You can call me Mr. J’onzz. I’m the principal. Feel free to come to me if you’re having any trouble with the transition to the new school.” He gave her a knowing smile, and again seemed like he totally read the situation.  
  
The principal led the way back to the door Kara dodged the first time around. He kept a steady eye on her – there was no escape now.  
  
The door opened at the front of the class, of course. The principal smiled warmly as he addressed the teacher: “Dr. Grant, I’d like to introduce you to our new student…” Only then did he realize he hadn’t officially asked her name and looked at her urgently to jump in.  
  
“Kara. I’m Kara Zor-…, Danvers!”. Kara blurted out with a mortified look at the principal.  
  
“Yes, exactly. This is Kara Zordanvers. Please make her welcome, this is her first day at Midvale High.”  
  
“No, I’m sorry. My name is just Danvers. No, not Justdanvers. I mean I’m Kara Danvers. Zor is just my… middle name?” Kara scrambled to cover as her brain started to overload again.  
  
“Ms. Danvers, is it? Well, we’re so glad you've deigned to join us, even though you’re disrupting my introductory announcements.” Dr. Grant starred her down and Kara felt powerless to look away, her eyes bugged like a deer in the headlights.  
  
“Thank you?” Kara said, lamely.  
  
“Take any open seat. And please keep in mind that if you chose to arrive late again it will be one percentage point off your grade. This is AP Geometry. You’re a smart girl - surely you can find your way here a bit earlier in future.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am. It won’t happen again.”  
  
Part of Kara still wanted to bolt and never look back. But a larger part wanted to meet the challenge in Dr. Grant’s eyes. Despite how she felt about going to school, she suspected Dr. Grant might have something to teach her. She slid into a seat and tried to block out whispers she was hearing loud and clear:  
  
“What a dork.”  
  
“Where did she get that shirt, the boys section at Walmart?”  
  
“The new girl could be cute if she’d take off those glasses. Maybe I should help her with that...”  
  
Thank god her sister wasn’t there to be further embarrassed. Alex was trying to be patient and helpful, but Kara could see that under it all she was annoyed and probably resentful of the fact that she was suddenly sharing her life with a complete, very high maintenance stranger. While Kara had learned to speak English at her current grade level in just days, she was learning from texts and she sounded more like an English robot than an American teenager. Kara accidentally overheard Alex saying that to her mother and immediately stopped reading texts and started watching TV. Which was making her even more confused. American customs and pastimes were very different than those of Krypton. Some were simply incomprehensible.  
  
She clambered into an empty seat and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying, but the class was more or less a blur. Fortunately, she could tell by looking at the text she would be able to sleepwalk through the class and be ahead of the rest. She stumbled through her remaining classes and managed not to bolt again. By the end of the day her brain was short circuiting from all the over stimulation. She hated school, she hated Midvale, she missed her family and her own planet. Everything there made sense. Everything here was confusing, and loud, and bright, and mean.  
  
She didn’t dare say anything to the Danvers. Hadn’t they put up with enough? They didn’t need to listen to her whine about how awful she found their world. They tried so hard to help her feel comfortable and cared for. As far as she could tell, they were the only worthwhile thing in this world.

***

That opinion changed after an incident at the end of the first week. After several days on the receiving end of the icy stare of Dr. Grant, she managed to move out of the dog house to a grudging truce. She did it by arriving early every day, plus it became obvious to Dr. Grant that she was quite brilliant, yet humble, and the combination was irresistible to her. Kara remained oblivious to Dr. Grant’s appreciation of her, but she did notice that she was no longer getting death stares.  
  
The “incident” happened on the last day of the week and in some ways changed the course of her experience at Midvale High. Dr. Grant was called to the principal’s office, so she instructed the students to remain at their desks and complete their homework. After she left the room it wasn’t long until a couple of boys were roughhousing, and one of them was shoved hard into a bookshelf full of bulky textbooks. The shelf tilted and Kara noticed it falling out of the corner of her eye from the back of the room. As the shelf started to tip she sped over and stopped it from falling on an unsuspecting student sitting at her desk. Dozens of textbooks slammed to the ground as she pushed the shelf back into place. Righting the shelf she turned around to a classroom full of wide eyes and open mouths. Only then did she realize she had used super speed and strength to keep the shelf from landing on the student. She quickly slunk back to her seat and barely resisted the urge to hide under her desk. Finally, the bell rang and she bolted for the hallway.  
  
“Kara, wait!” Kara tried to walk faster but a determined student caught up with her.  
  
“Hi! I’m Susan. Wow, you’re really strong!” the determined student was keeping pace with her as she motored (at a human pace) to her next class.  
  
“Yes, I…well…I lift weights!” Kara stammered.  
  
“I bet you do. And you’re fast, too!”  
  
“Yeah, well….” Kara was at a loss. She was still learning what she should be able to do as a human and when she got excited she often forgot.  
  
“Anyway, I was wondering if you might come out for the rugby team after school today? It’s a totally new sport here. I organized it with some friends after watching U.S. Women’s Rugby on TV. None of us really know what we’re doing yet. But I know enough to be able to tell you would totally kick ass!”  
  
“I’m sorry, I have to get home after school. My, um,….mother… will wonder where I am.”  
  
“No problem. You don’t need to come today. Talk to your mom and come out tomorrow!”  
  
Kara just looked wary and unconvinced.  
  
“Please? Just come check it out once. I bet you’ll love it.” Susan begged.  
  
“OK, I’ll think about it.” Kara mumbled.  
  
“Great! See you tomorrow. Don’t forget to talk to your mom!”

****

Kara was filled with mixed emotions walking home that day. Today was the first day anyone had really talked to her, invited her to join in, seemed excited about her. It was a bit irresistible. There were two very good reasons why she knew she couldn’t join a sports team. It would be too hard to resist using her strength. On Krypton she was very competitive, she was a good athlete, she loved comradery and playing on a team, and she loved WINNING. On Krypton she had started in the young warriors guild where they were always playing sports to build comradery and team building. She knew if she played rugby it would be too hard to hold back.  
  
The second reason was even more even more unavoidable. Her Kryptonian biology made her different than humans – faster, stronger, with enhanced hearing, x-ray and heat vision. Even though she hadn’t been able to yet, she believed she’d eventually be able to fly. Her cousin could fly and she could feel herself getting stronger under the yellow sun. And something else she also knew to be very different was that she had both male and female reproductive organs. While she appeared as a typical human woman, she also had a penis. Before school started her Earth mother Eliza explained that while her body was not unusual on Krypton, it was very uncommon on Earth. And based on her extensive TV viewing she knew that being different in an American high school was not a good thing. She was desperate to make sure no one found out. Playing on a team, changing in the locker room, coming into close physical contact, would not help keep her secret.  
  
Still, she couldn’t resist going to practice the next day. It was a revelation, to say the least. Twenty women in shorts and jerseys, running, diving, tackling, shoving, and running like hell for two hours. Despite her weeks of TV, she had never seen anything like it. Tennis, basketball, baseball, golf, even football, was nothing like this. It was all the fast strategy and constant running of basketball with the contact and tackling of football – but without the pads and helmet. It was hand-to-hand combat, but playing on a team. Susan told her they liked to call it “elegant violence”. Her whole being wanted to play, to be a part of something, to let out her pent up frustrations in a school-sanctioned way. She knew it was impossible. Still, she wanted to be a part of it in some way. They worked out she could be the equipment manager and water girl.  
  
That worked out really well until the match where she carried a 10 gallon Gatorade cooler across the field with one arm. Someone noticed and shouted before she realized her mistake. She dropped it immediately, but it was too late. Half the team saw it and, of course, started harassing her to join the team. Kara refused and eventually they gave up. Yet another lesson in how she needed to be constantly vigilant against expression of her strength, to hold back. Being a part of the young warrior training academy, it was the opposite of what she’d always been taught.  
  
Still, she’d made friends and was having fun with the girls on the team and she stuck with it. Eventually, they gave up trying to get her to join the team, but the nickname they came up with stuck. From then on they all called her “Supergirl”, after the hero of Metropolis who could leap tall buildings with a single bound – Superman.


	2. Taking the Reins

Kara was making connections at school, impressing her teachers (unintentionally), getting a handle on her strengths, sort of fitting in. She stopped comparing everything to Krypton and was adapting to life on Earth. But her relationship with Alex was still awkward. She always felt like a dork around her cool older sister. It seemed Alex was always there when she did something particularly nerdy, or said the wrong thing, or broke something accidentally. Alex was always kind, but Kara could tell that under it all she was at best only tolerating her presence.

One day rugby practice was canceled and Kara walked home early. She was looking forward to hiding in her room to have some peace and quiet for a bit. Alex usually didn’t make it home until just before dinner. Walking down the hall she heard some muffled, sort of strangling sounds. She sped down the hall and broke through the locked bedroom door with ease, worried something terrible was happening to Alex. As the door swung open she saw her sister straddling another girl on her bed. For a moment Kara saw Alex kissing the other girl, her hand inside her blouse just before they jerked apart at her arrival. Kara stood frozen with her mouth open and then backed out of the room yelling, “I’m sorry!” as she sped down the hall.

She ran all the way to the beachfront and sat down by the water, amazed how she always managed to get herself in trouble no matter what she did. Eventually Alex came out and sat down by her, clearly fuming mad. 

“Can’t I just have one thing? Just one thing to myself? Something that I don’t have to share with you? Why do you have to be everywhere, sucking up all the attention, acting weird at school, going around with that deer in the headlights look all the time?!”

“I’m sorry! I know I’m ruining your life, I don’t mean to. I’m trying so hard, but no matter what I do, it always turns out wrong! I don’t know how to stop.”  


Alex sat still for long time, her head down on her knees.

After a while she said, “I know” very quietly. Kara would have missed it if not for her superhuman hearing. Then:

“Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.”

“Tell them what?” Kara asked.

“Tell them I was with a girl!”

“I’m not going to tell them anything, it’s nothing to do with me.” It never occurred to Kara to say anything to anyone. 

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“With what?”

“Kissing a girl.” Kara asked.

“Kara. Haven’t you watched enough American TV by now to see it’s not normal?”

“Normal?! What do I know about normal? On Krypton no one cared if you were with a boy or a girl. I guess thinking about it I realize I didn’t see girls together or boys together as much on TV. I just didn’t really think about it”

“Well, it’s a big deal here. Girls are with boys. Girls are not with girls. Boys are not with boys.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, 'why'? That’s just the way it is. That’s the way it’s always been. Mom and Dad are dealing with enough, they don’t need to worry about this, too.”

“Alex, I’m sorry, I know I’m embarrassing, I know I’m a burden…”

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t mean it, just, please don’t say anything.”

“Of course, I’d never say anything. But you shouldn’t feel ashamed, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Please, Kara. Just let it go.” Alex said, sounding exhausted.

“I promise, I won’t say anything!”

Alex raised her head from her knees. “Thank you.”

After a while, Kara ventured, "So was that your girlfriend?"

"I don't know, maybe..." Alex clearly wasn't ready to talk about it.

“Hey, why don’t we jump in the water?” Alex seemed so broken down, Kara wanted to distract her for a few minutes.

“What, it’s freezing right now!” 

“No, it’s not, come on!” Kara stripped off her shirt and pants and started running into the water. Even if Alex wouldn’t follow, at least she would try to make her forget her worries for a minute. She ran in the water and started screaming and jumping up and down. “It’s freezing!”

“I told you!” Alex couldn’t help it, she started laughing at Kara’s antics. Finally, she slowly started taking off her clothes and sprinted into the water, screaming all the way.

They splashed each other and laughed until Alex started shivering. Kara held Alex’s hands and breathed warm air on her blue fingers.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry for ruining your life.” Kara looked into her eyes, now very serious.

“I know, Kara, I know you’re sorry. And you’re not ruining my life. You’re broadening my horizons. In a very uncomfortable way.” They both laughed.  


“I’ll try to do better.”

“I know you’ll try. And I know you’re trying. Sometimes it’ll work, sometimes it won’t. It’s all going to be fine. Anyway, I want us to be friends.”

“You do? I want that more than anything, Alex.”

“Take it easy, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal. It means the world to me.” Kara squeezed her into a too-hard hug.

“OK, OK, take it easy, Supergirl.” Alex said, laughing. 

“What? How did you know they were calling me that?”

“Just because I don’t have super hearing doesn’t mean I’m totally oblivious. You have to admit, it’s a fits – even if they don’t really understand why.”

“Ha, if they only knew!” Kara chuckled. “Well, we better get back for dinner.”

“It always gets back to food with you, doesn’t it?”

***

It was half way through the semester and it suddenly occurred to Kara that she was going to school without a feeling of dread. It kind of snuck up on her, getting the hang of high school, making friends on the rugby team, and coming to an understanding with Alex helped her almost feel normal. She had trained her mind to be able to focus on one or two voices and block out the others when she was in the hall or cafeteria and it was helping her keep the chaos in her brain down to a dull roar. Jeremiah had crafted some glasses for her that helped reduce some of the visual stimuli.

Even so, often after practice she would walk through the woods by her house to a ranch nearby. It was a large property with horses and she was fascinated watching the powerful, beautiful creatures. She was especially excited whenever she got to see someone riding. She tried to stay out of sight when a person was around, but one day she could tell someone was riding right towards her. She panicked for a moment when she realized someone had spotted her and was coming over. She thought about making a run for it, but decided to hold her ground. She wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Hi.” Kara offered weakly as the rider came to a stop within earshot. The rider wore a cowboy hat and boots and looked very comfortable in the saddle.

“Hey there,” he said, “here for your horse-watching again?”

“Yes, um, well, I didn’t think it would bother them. They’re so beautiful and it’s so peaceful here.”

“No, I’m sure they don’t mind. I’ve seen you here quite a bit. Do you ride at all?”

“Ride horses? No! Well, we didn’t have horses… where I grew up.”

“Hmm, well maybe you should try sometime since you like them so much.”

“Wow, I never thought about it. That would be amazing, but I don’t know the first thing about horses.”

“Well, it’s never too late to learn.”

“I, um, my family doesn’t have horses. Not really sure how I could do that.”

“Hmmm. Well, would you be interested in helping out around here? I have an opening for part-time work.”

“Helping…you mean with the horses?!”

“Yeah, with the horses. You could help take care of them and learn about them up close. If it works out eventually you could do a little riding.”

Kara was speechless. The thought that she could hang out with the horses was overwhelming, a dream come true. She couldn’t form a sentence.  


"Yes. Please.” She managed to squeak out.

“OK. But I need to warn you, taking care of horses involves shoveling a lot of shit.”

“Huh?”

“Yes, horses poop a LOT. A big part of taking care of horses is raking out stables, cleaning up their poop.”

“I don’t care. I’ll do it. I’m your girl!”

“OK, come tomorrow after school. Go down to the barn and ask for me. I’m Cisco. And make sure you wear something you don’t care about getting dirty.”

Kara walked home in a bit of a daze. She couldn’t believe she was going to work with horses. She learned very quickly that it was not a lot of fun. It was a long hours of raking poop, of breathing in dust and dirt, carrying feed and hay. But also, there was learning how to brush and groom the horses, take care of the equipment, saddle them up, and walk them around the corral. She got to spend time with them and learn their different personalities, what they liked and what they didn’t, how they responded to different people and actions. And eventually she did get to ride. After a few months she became part of the rotating group of hands that made sure the horses were ridden on a regular schedule. 

She loved riding more than anything. Galloping away felt like freedom. Just her and the horse, no sounds except from the wind and hooves hitting the ground. Kara thought it odd that it was only hired hands riding the horses. One day Cisco told her more about the ranch and the way it operated. It belonged to a very rich family, the Luthors, who only visited now and then. They loved horses and having a place to come ride and escape from the big city. The often spent Christmas holidays, spring breaks, and many visits in the summers. They would suddenly show up and expect to find the horses fit and ready to go whenever they were there. Their children, Lex and Lena, went to boarding schools on the east coast, but also visited a lot and loved riding. 

Even so, she wasn’t prepared for the day when she showed up for work and discovered Lena Luthor astride one of her favorite horses, Streaky. Kara stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Lena, with her striking raven hair, wearing fancy jodhpurs and matching jacket, looking like she owned the place. Which she did. Kara suddenly felt self-conscious in her Levi’s, flannel shirt and straw cowboy hat – her poop shoveling clothes. She was waiting, with an impatient air, while Cisco finished tacking up her horse.

Lena caught Kara’s approach out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head sharply and looked at her intently. Kara remained frozen to her spot, mouth slightly agape.

Finally Lena glanced away and with an air of boredom she said:

“And who are you, exactly?”


	3. Busman's Holiday

“And who are you, exactly?”  


Lena’s emerald eyes bore into to Kara, despite her nonchalant air it was clear she didn’t miss a thing.  


“I’m Kara… just Danvers. I mean, just Kara Danvers. I work here!” She blurted out. It was as if all the training of the last months had gone out the window. Her brain was overloading from too much stimulus.  


“Cisco, you’re starting them pretty young these days.” Lena said with a smirk.  


“She’s not a full-time hand, just working after school. She’s really good with the horses. She’s got a way with them.” Cisco chimed in.  


Kara managed to close her gaping mouth but stayed speechless in the face of his compliment. He’d never said anything like that directly to her and her heart was soaring to hear that he thought she was good with the horses.  


“Hmm, maybe I’ll see for myself.” Lena said and at the she pressed her Italian leather riding boot to the horse. They lurched forward and galloped off.  


Kara stood in a daze, watching her go.  


“Well, in case you couldn’t tell, that was Lena Luthor. Back from boarding school for Thanksgiving.” Cisco chuckled to himself. “Just mind yourself around her. She’s not what I’d call a patient person and you don’t want to get on her bad side.”  


“No. I sure don’t.” Kara kept staring until she was over the ridge and out of sight.  


Kara stayed later than usual, trying to hold out long enough for Lena’s return to the barn. She was stroking and talking to a mare when she heard their arrival in the corral. She peaked out from the stall and saw Lena expertly bring her horse to a stop. It was near dark and most of the hands had already left for the night. Kara knew Cisco had gone down to the other barn and Lena was clearly looking for someone to come and help her with the horse. Kara gathered her courage and ventured towards her.  


“Need some help?” Kara asked. Lena had already dismounted and released the reins.  


“Actually, I don’t need help, but I do expect it. Father spends a lot of money to keep this ranch going so that we can ride when we like and the horses are taken care of afterwards. This place looks like a ghost town.” Lena scoffed under her breath.  


“Well, most of the hands arrive at sun-up, so it’s quite a long day by dusk.” Kara tried to stand up for her new ranch buddies. Most had been very patient and generous with their time teaching her 'the ropes', especially when it came time for her to learn to ride.  


“Right, well, their number one job is making sure these horses are ready for us when we want them and taken care of when we’re done.”  


“No worries, I know how to put her up properly, I promise I’ll take the best possible care. And Cisco is still around here somewhere, you know he will make sure I’ve done it right.” Kara had taken the reins and was petting the Streaky’s neck.  


She seemed to calm down and then looked more carefully at Kara. “You are very green, aren’t you?” Lena started to blatantly look her up and down and, again, Kara started feeling self-conscience in her faded Levi’s and scuffed boots. Suddenly Lena stopped her eyes half way down Kara’s body. She glanced up quickly and smirked.  


“But, I dare say, you do have potential.”  


_Does she know? _, Kara thought. Most of the time she was fine covering up with her compression shorts and jeans. But her body was reacting to Lena and she knew there was a giveaway bulge in her Levi’s. Lena’s smirk told her that she may have just noticed.  
__

__Kara quickly turned back to the barn, leading Streaky away.  
_ _

____

“Don’t worry, ma’am, I’ve got everything under control.”  


“Well, I hope not everything.” Lena mumbled to herself, but thanks to Kara’s hearing she heard every word.  


Kara picked up the pace towards the barn, “Have a good night!”  


__***  
_ _

__Kara was distracted at school the next day, day dreaming about Lena riding a horse. She couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful.  
_ _

__Unfortunately, Dr. Grant was annoyed by her clear lack of attention and decided to make an example of her.  
_ _

__“Ms. Danvers.” Kara jerked from her beautiful day dream back to reality, with Dr. Grant staring her down with evil intent.  
_ _

__“Can you please show us how to solve the equation on the board?”  
_ _

__“The equation?” Kara asked, meekly.  
_ _

__“Yes, the equation we’ve been discussing for the last 5 minutes.”  
_ _

__“Right.”  
_ _

__Kara made her way up to the board with her text, hoping she would find a clue as to what equation they were on as she walked. No luck, there was nothing, so she glanced furtively around the classroom for a clue.  
_ _

__There in the back, she caught a glimpse of Susan, who had her hands on her cheeks, discreetly holding up six fingers. Kara quickly flipped to the 6th equation in the chapter and began working it on the board. It was a risk, but it was the only lifeline she had.  
_ _

__And it paid off. Once she finished she turned around and found Dr. Grant glaring at her. But what could she say? Of course, Kara had solved it perfectly. There was a prolonged, uncomfortable silence as she made her way back to her seat. A couple of kids coughed as they waited.  
_ _

__Not one to let it go completely, Dr. Grant said, “Well, I’m glad you’re still able to keep up while gazing longingly out the window.” But Kara had clearly dodged what was intended to be a humiliating situation, and Dr. Grant would not be one to forget it.  
_ _

__When the bell rang Kara darted outside but waited in the hall for Susan to catch up.  
_ _

__“Thank you for saving me.” She said, a bit in awe.  
_ _

__“It was nothing, ruggers look out for one another. It’s the first rule of rugby, and that means everywhere, not just on the field.”  
_ _

__“But I’m not a real rugger, I’m not on the team.” Kara said quietly.  
_ _

__“What? Of course, you’re on the team! You work hard for all of us and get none of the glory.”  
_ _

__“Well, anyway, I appreciate it. If Dr. Grant caught you signaling me she would have roasted you right along with me. That was risky.”  
_ _

__“Anything for a mate.” Susan said sincerely.  
_ _

__Kara could feel tendrils of her heart rooting in this world, with these people who had been kind to her despite all her awkwardness. Susan, the Danvers, Cisco, and many others who had helped her in times of need. She could see that despite their strange customs and behavior, that humans were good, at their core. Or at least there were many who were good. She knew Earth could never replace her lost home and family, but she could feel herself connecting, and making space in her heart for humans  
_ _

__***  
_ _

__The next day was the Thursday of Thanksgiving, no school, no work. Still, Kara found herself wandering through the woods to the Luthor ranch in between feasting sessions at the Danvers. She tried to stop herself, but she couldn’t resist trying to catch a glimpse of Lena riding. From her cover on the edge of the woods she watched horses in the field for over an hour, to no avail.  
_ _

__When she got home she saw Alex out on their balcony, watching her walk back from the woods.  
_ _

__That night she lay in bed, thinking how ridiculous she was being when Alex interrupted her thoughts.  
_ _

__“So, they had you working on Thanksgiving? Seems extreme, even for the Luthors”  
_ _

__“Well, no, I just wanted to go watch the horses for a bit.”  
_ _

__“Really? Aren’t you seeing them about everyday lately?” Alex said, incredulously.  
_ _

__“Why do you say ‘even for the Luthors’, are they really so ruthless?”  
_ _

__“Honestly, I have no idea. People in town make disparaging comments, but then billionaires probably have a hard time fitting in around here. They aren’t exactly in their element. It’s probably just sour grapes from people jealous of their money.”  
_ _

__Kara thought about that for a while and tried to let it go at that, but she couldn’t.  
_ _

__“I met Lena yesterday. Well, not exactly met, more like, encountered.”  
_ _

__“What does that mean?” Alex asked.  
_ _

__“Well, she didn’t exactly introduce herself. I attempted to tell her my name. I don’t know, it was all quite unnerving.”  
_ _

__“I see.” Alex said knowingly.  
_ _

__“What do you mean, ‘I see’?”  
_ _

__“I think I see why you went over to the ranch on your day off.”  
_ _

__“Wait, what? What… does that have to do with anything?” Kara stammered.  
_ _

__“Well, I’ve never met her, but I’ve heard stories from people around town who have. She makes quite an impression.”  
_ _

__Kara had no comeback for that one. Lena did make quite an impression. So much so that she was having a hard time thinking of anything else.  
_ _

__“Kara, please be careful. She’s a rich, spoiled girl, here for a few days before she goes back to boarding school.”  
_ _

__“Why do you say she’s spoiled?”  
_ _

__Alex thought for a minute. “Well, again, I don’t have any firsthand experience. Probably just making assumptions from people’s attitudes around town. That’s not really fair to her.”  
_ _

__“Well, based on the way she acted yesterday, you probably aren’t far off. Still, I think there’s more there than people see.”  
_ _

__“Kara, at the risk of repeating myself, I will say it again. Please be careful.”  
_ _

__***  
_ _

__Cisco told her she didn’t need to come in on Friday since it was also a school holiday, but he mentioned that he had to be there in case the Luthors wanted to ride. Like a moth to a flame, Kara found herself making her way through the woods early that morning. None of the other hands showed that morning, and when Cisco spotted her he gave her a big grin, clearly glad not to be on his own.  
_ _

__“Missed your horses yesterday?” He asked.  
_ _

__“No, I just couldn’t resist extra day of shoveling shit!”  
_ _

__Cisco hooted. “Kara, did you just make a sarcastic comment? You are full of surprises today.”  
_ _

__Kara felt her chest puff up. She was getting the hang of the language and humor.  
_ _

__She spent a couple of hours mucking out stables and carrying fresh hay bales into the barn. Anytime she was carrying bales she kept an eye out for any observers. When anyone was around she was careful to struggle with carrying them, even though she could have done it with one hand behind her back, literally. The pretending was becoming second nature to her, though she got bored with it. She was getting a clearer idea of what she would and would not be able to do if she were human. The ranch was a great place for that type of hands-on learning.  
_ _

__She was coming around the side of the barn with a bale when she spotted Lena and her father. She quickly bent over and started dragging it along the ground._ _

__Even so, Lena seemed to appreciate her strength, watching her out of the corner of her eye while her father talked to Cisco about which horses they wanted and where they would ride.  
_ _

__Once she got inside the barn, Kara kept a discreet eye on them until they trotted off. Cisco came up behind her and laughed.  
_ _

__“So, I think maybe it wasn’t the horses that brought you out on a holiday after all!”  
_ _

__“What? I’m just here to help your lonely self!”  
_ _

__“Right. OK, well, I do appreciate it.”  
_ _

__“Good, well, you’d better.”  
_ _

__Cisco wandered off to the other end of the barn. “Be careful, Kara.” He said under his breath.  
_ _

__As always, she heard every word._ _


	4. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Yet again, Kara stayed close to the corral hoping to be there for Lena’s return. When she and her father rode up Kara saw Cisco make a beeline to take the reins and hold the horse for Lena to dismount. Kara followed close behind him and he handed her the reins after Lena’s dismount. Kara rejoiced at getting to take Lena’s horse and at the feeling of being useful. Meanwhile Cisco took Lionel’s and Kara watched everything closely so she would know how to help in the future.  


Lena was talking with her father as they arrived but was subtly keeping an eye on Kara as she walked back to the barn with Cisco and the horses. They wrapped up their conversation as they reached the gate and Lionel turned back towards the corral.

“Thank you, Cisco. Looks like you’ve got a good helper there, coming in the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Yes, this is Kara. She loves horses and hard work, we’re lucky to have her.”

Again, Kara froze to her spot, surprised at the compliment and afraid to open her mouth, not knowing what might come out.

“Yes, Father, I can attest to that. She is quite the eager beaver.” Lena added, with what Kara now considered her trademark smirk.

Kara’s lips parted at that remark, not sure whether Lena was trying to vouch for her or tease her. She decided it was both. Finally, she found her tongue and decided two could play at that game.

“Sir, I’m honored for the chance to work with your horses." Then, looking at Lena she added, “And I’m happy to be of service in any way I can here.” Where did that come from? Kara surprised herself with that line. It was like her body was cutting her brain out of the decision-making loop.

At that comment it was Lena’s turn to have her mouth drop open. Kara was mesmerized by her parted lips.

Lionel seemed oblivious to the exchange. “Well, thank you both for going above and beyond over the holiday. We’re actually heading back to the city early tomorrow, so please take some time off and enjoy your weekend.”

Kara was disappointed to realize she would have no chance to see Lena the next day. Not only that, she had no way to know when they would return to their ranch. Even Cisco seemed to be in the dark about their schedule.

“Thank you, sir, enjoy the rest of your stay.” Cisco said as they walked off.

Kara watched them until they were out of sight. She couldn't help but notice Lena glancing back at her before disappearing. And she wasn't wearing her usual smirk.

***  
“So, how was work today?” Alex ventured as they lay in bed that night.

“It was pretty slow, actually.”

“No Luthors showing up to ride?” Alex wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily.

“Well, Lena and her dad went out for a few hours.” Kara said, trying to be nonchalant.

“Wow, you met the famous Lionel Luthor!” 

“Well, not really met. But he did thank me for working the holiday.”

“And did Lena have anything to say?”

“No. Well, she called me an eager beaver…”

Alex burst out laughing. “She did not!”

“She did.” Kara said without amusement. “Anyway, enough about the Luthors. Did Vicki come by today?”

“Um, she did, but she didn’t come to the house. I met her down on the beach, so don’t mention anything about it in front of Mom and Dad.”

“Oh, I know exactly where you met, then. In front of those shrubs where you can be out of sight from the house!” Kara laughed.

Alex got up from her bed and came over to slam a pillow down over Kara’s head to muffle her.

“Hey, I’m not going to say anything, I promise!” Kara stopped laughing. “Alex, seriously, you can trust me. I would never tell something you didn’t want me to.”

Alex climbed back in her bed and was quiet for a while. “I trust you. It's just, I like her so much, Kara. It’s making me really nervous. Her family doesn’t know anything either. We’re both trying to be discreet, but it’s so hard to be secretive all the time. Part of me just wants to tell the world.”

“Alex, you really should talk to your mom and dad. They love you so much. They’ll be OK with it, I’m sure they will. Maybe not right away, but they love you and they’ll get over it and want to help. And they would be so much more help than I am.”

“I hope you’re right, but Vicki is really worried that Mom and Dad might say something to her parents if they found out. They’re very religious, and she’s terrified of how they might react. I just don’t want to put her through that.”

“I just wish I could help somehow.”

“You are helping, Kara. Being about to talk about it is a huge relief, really.”

Kara’s heart soared again. The idea that she was helping Alex made her feel warm all over. She also realized how fortunate she was for having grown up in a place where they didn’t judge people based on who they loved. She knew by the reactions of her heart and body that she was attracted to Lena. That in itself was something new and scary. But she was grateful that she didn’t have the additional burden of worrying about disappointing her family, or having angst or even guilt about liking a girl instead of a boy. Being an alien freshman in Midvale, she really had enough on her plate as it was.

***

Kara and Alex started confiding in each other about thoughts and feelings that they couldn’t share with anyone else. Kara sometimes talked about the challenges of being an alien in a human high school and Alex sometimes talked about her feelings about Vicki, and the challenges of “being in the closet”, as she called it. Alex was a “straight shooter” for lack of a better term. She really hated lying to her parents or anyone about what she was doing. Unlike Vicki, she didn’t believe what they were doing was morally wrong, they were following their hearts, being true to themselves. But Alex did worry about how others, especially her family, would react. She was sure they would be devastated. Vicki’s upbringing taught that her feelings for Alex were sinful and she also had guilt about hurting her parents. So, while they were experiencing the joys of falling in love for the first time they were also dealing with plenty of angst. It helped to be able to talk to Kara, who was experiencing a lot of firsts herself – both good and bad.

Kara was careful to give Alex space. No more bursting into their room or appearing without warning. With rugby practice and work she wasn’t spending that much time at home anyway. She had been working hard not to let herself get carried away thinking a lot about Lena, but sometimes when she was tired she caught herself daydreaming again. One Saturday night Alex was staying at Vicki’s and Kara woke up realizing she had been dreaming of Lena. In her dream Lena came into the barn while she was putting away equipment. She couldn’t remember exactly what was said, but the gist was that Lena was teasing her about all the time Kara was spending with the horses. 

Kara kept working and tried not to respond to her teasing. But Lena is moving closer and the sound of her voice made it hard for Kara to stay focused on what she’s supposed to be doing. In her dream she tries to come up with a snappy response, but Lena sounds like she’s speaking through a tunnel and Kara can’t make out her words, just her tone so it’s hard to respond. Lena is giggling at Kara’s frustration. She has a strong urge to tell Lena off, to make her see that Kara is in control. At that point in her dream she realizes she has a hard-on, making her feel even more out of control and embarrassed. She turns away from Lena to remove the saddle from a horse. Taking the saddle down she marches past Lena with it held carefully in front of her and heading out of the barn.  


Lena says something to the effect of “you have nothing to be ashamed of, Kara.”

At that Kara bolts awake and finds herself with a raging erection. This is something that started happening since she came to Earth, not something she had to deal with in Krypton. Eliza was the only one she’d talk to directly about her anatomy, even though she knew Alex knew. She couldn’t face talking to either one of them about the changes she was going through, she was too embarrassed. So she suffered in silence. Often when this happened she would lie awake, trying to think of off-putting things and fighting the urge to touch herself. 

That night Kara looks to find Alex’s bed empty and then remembers she is having a sleep over. With Alex away the temptation is too great. Her hand moves down to grip the base of her cock. She begins to move up and down, it’s such a relief to be able to touch herself. She eases her fingers over the tip and feels liquid leaking out. She’s a little freaked out by it, but it feels too good and she keeps going, sliding back down to the base and back up, she realizes she can use the liquid to make her hand slide more easily, she can move faster with less friction and it feels even better. She can feel herself grow even harder and bigger. Suddenly she imagines Lena, standing near her in the barn, like she was in the dream. But instead of turning her back, Kara moves closer to her. In her imagination Lena is surprised but doesn’t move away. Her mouth eases open and Kara slides two of her fingers over Lena’s bottom lip. Lena closes her mouth over Kara’s fingers and begins to suck. The image is too much for Kara, she begins jerking herself up and down more rapidly until she feels like she will burst if she doesn’t release. Lena licks her fingers and moans and that’s it for Kara, she cums hard into her sheets. She decides she can worry about it in the morning. It feels too good for her to worry and she drifts off to sleep.


	5. We Don't Need Another Hero

Kara woke abruptly before dawn, remembering the night before and jumping up to pull her sheets and go down to the basement to launder them. The Danvers usually slept in on Sundays and she felt like she had managed to get away with something for once.  
  
That was until she came up from the basement again later, after moving the sheets to the dryer, to find Eliza making coffee in the kitchen. She tried to sneak by and up to her room, but Eliza heard her.  
  
“Good morning, Kara!”  
  
“Oh, hi! I mean, good morning.”  
  
“You’re up early today.” Eliza said casually.  
  
“Yes, just, getting a jump on my laundry.”  
  
“Not that I don’t appreciate it, but since when did you start doing your laundry?”  
  
“Oh, well, I decided that I needed to start doing it. You really shouldn’t have to be doing it for me when I’m perfectly capable.”  
  
“Well, first of all, I don’t do the laundry, Jeremiah does. And secondly, is there any special reason why you chose 6 am on a Sunday to begin doing it?”  
  
“Right. Well. I’m just trying to find ways to be less of a burden…” Kara said awkwardly.  
  
“Kara. Please don’t say that. We really don’t think of you that way. You are special, loving, and very gifted, really a joy to be around. I know you don’t feel that way, but we consider it an honor to have the chance to provide you with a home. And it’s not just about our interests as scientists, though it is fascinating to learn about your life. You are the last daughter of Krypton, an amazing, unfathomable place. But you are also a beautiful soul, Kara, and valuable just for being yourself. We hope you will come to think of us as family. Not a substitute for your family, but additional family.” Eliza said, sincerely.  
  
Kara stared at her, eyes wide.  
  
“I’m not saying all this to add to your burden. But I want to remind you of who you are. I know it must be hard because you have to hide so much of it, maybe that makes you feel like you should be ashamed of who you are. But for us the exact opposite is true. We have to cover it up, because what you are is so amazing, if others find out they will want to take you away. They’ll want to study you and learn all they can about you and Krypton. Jeremiah and I know that would be harmful for you, and we also don’t believe that’s fair. We think you should have the same rights as a human.”  
  
“I, well……Thank you, Eliza. I can’t really tell you how much that means to me.: Kara started to tear up and was having trouble speaking.  
  
“So, if there is ever anything you need to talk about, please don’t hesitate to talk to me, or Jeremiah, or Alex, depending on who you feel more comfortable with.”  
  
“Thanks, it’s nothing really. I don’t want to cause even more embarrassment.”  
  
“Kara, is this about your physical differences from humans? Or changes in your body?” Eliza asked.  
  
“Well, sort of. I’ve been having really intense dreams that…” She stopped. She couldn’t go on, it was too embarrassing.  
  
Eliza saved her. “Kara, you don’t need to explain, what you’re dealing with is totally normal.”  
  
“Really?” Kara said hopefully.  
  
“Yes! This is very typical for someone your age. Your body is going through a lot of changes to prepare for becoming sexually reproductive. I’m sorry if that makes you feel awkward, but I’m a scientist and you’re a smart girl. You are starting a bit later than most humans, maybe due to your alien biology or the prolonged hyper sleep. Regardless of why, your body needs to go through this process. I’m sure it feels very strange for you. You are probably reacting to new stimuli in ways you never have before. You may have urges that you’ve never had before and that’s totally fine. It’s fine to act on those urges, even if it seems totally foreign and embarrassing. Of course, you need to be private about it…”  
  
Kara stood, amazed at all Eliza. “So, I’m not going crazy?”  
  
“Kara, no. You aren’t feeling or doing anything wrong. I promise.”  
  
She felt so relieved. Still awkward and embarrassed to be talking to Eliza in this way. But she trusted her and was sure she was telling the truth.  
  
“Thank you.” Kara said, simply. She really just wanted to leave now and think about all Eliza had told her.  
  
“Kara, please come talk to me if you have any questions. Or maybe you want to talk to Jeremiah? He would have more direct understanding about what you’re experiencing.”  
  
“What? No. Please, just. No. I can’t.”  
  
“OK, OK, don’t worry about it, I’m not going to make you talk to anyone. Just please promise to at least talk to someone if you have concerns. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.”  
  
“OK. I promise.” Kara said, meekly.  
  
“Great….So, I know this has been sufficiently awkward for you. I’ll let you get back….to it.” Eliza stumbled as she started to catch the double entendre her words could have and not wanting to make Kara feel more self-conscious.  
  
“Thank you, Eliza. I really appreciate it. I’m very relieved.” Ugh, Kara thinks, hope that doesn’t give the wrong mental image.  
  
***  
  
Kara did feel relieved, yet still couldn’t help but be distracted by thinking about it a lot the next day at school. She caught herself daydreaming about Lena, about her mouth and beautiful skin. Picturing her leaning against a stall inside the horse stable, Kara thought of herself moving quickly towards Lena, seeing her eyes go wide and mouth open in a gasp. Kara imagined moving close, so close to her body, close enough to touch. She imagined reaching out, grabbing her hips and pulling her in as their mouths meet.  
  
“Ms. Danvers, please share you answer for this one” Dr. Grant abruptly interrupted her reverie and Kara had no idea what problem they were discussing. Once again, she glanced at Susan a few seats to her right. who discretely held two fingers against her chin.  
  
“Yes, I calculated the answer to be 3 to the square root of 10.” Kara blushed, seeing that Dr. Grant wasn’t fooled, but she also was sure her answer was right, so what could the teacher say?  
  
“Hmmm. Yes. Well, maybe you can tell us how you arrived at your answer?”  
  
After a winded explanation, Dr. Grant let her off the hook and moved on to her next victim. She clearly was annoyed by Kara’s lack of attention, and it only made it worse that she couldn’t sufficiently shame her in front of the class.  
  
Kara waited for Susan outside in the hall after class.  
  
“Thanks for saving me again.” she said.  
  
“No worries. That’s what friends are for.” Susan replied. Then, “If you don’t mind me asking, is everything OK? Seems like you have a lot on your mind.”  
  
“Sort of. Well, I don’t know. It’s not something I can talk about.”  
  
“Why not?” Susan asked. “You can trust me.”  
  
“It’s not that, I just….”  
  
Suddenly there is a commotion down the hall. Both girls rush to see what happened. They found a skinny boy on the floor and in a crumpled against the lockers with a larger kid laughing and calling him a sissy, urging him to get back up.  
  
Kara and Susan rushed down the hall and helped him to his feet.  
  
“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” Susan yelled at the bully.  
  
“Why doesn’t he stay the hell away from my girlfriend?”. At that point they notice a girl has a hold of his arm and is trying to drag him away.  
  
Come on, Morgan, nothing happened, let’s get out of here before you end up in detention.”  
  
He makes a sudden move to shove the other boy in the chest. Kara reacts without thinking to block his hand and hears a popping sound.  
  
“OUCH! What the hell? What did you do? You sprained my wrist! What is wrong with you?” The bully screamed. “Do you know who I am? I’m the god damned quarter back! If you’ve messed up my hand I’m going to make you sorry!”  
  
“Let’s get out of here.” Susan said, dragging the boy in the other direction down the hall and through an exit.  
  
Once they got outside they checked to see whether the boy was hurt.  
  
“Thanks….thanks for rescuing me.” They could see he was humiliated.  
  
“What was that all about?”  
  
“I don’t know. Nothing happened! Siobhan and I are just lab partners, we were talking about our project. That guy is completely unhinged!”  
  
“Well, try to stay away from him.” Susan advised. Seeing he was recovered they began to walk away.  
  
“Wait! Wait for me. Where are you going? Who are you? I’m Winn.”  
  
The three walked back inside as Winn rambled enthusiastically about the way Kara stepped in, the look on the guy’s face, and the sound his wrist made.  
  
“It was like he hit a wall!” Winn exclaimed.  
  
“She’s very strong. I’ve been trying to get her to play rugby since she got here.”  
  
Kara was feeling anxious about the discussion of her strength and decided to make a break for it.  
  
“Sorry, I’ve gotta run, I’m late for….something!”  
  
Susan and Winn watched a bit in awe as she hurried away.  
  
“Nice to meet you, Winn!” Kara called back before she disappeared.  
  
***  
  
That night Alex had already heard about the incident.  
  
“Kara, what the hell were you thinking, getting involved with that fight?”  
  
“It wasn’t a fight. It was bullying. I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing.” Kara explained what happened and, while Alex could sympathize with her need to help, she was extremely worried that Kara would be found out.  
  
“I understand it’s hard. I know you want to help. But it’s so risky. You have to be careful. You have no idea what they are capable of.”  
  
“What who is capable of?” Kara asked, shocked.  
  
“No one. I mean, it’s just there are many people, even organizations, who would be very interested in you if they knew you were here. And I’m not just talking about anti-alien groups. Even the government could decide to intervene if they found out. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to scare you. Just please, please be careful.”  
  
***  
  
Kara grew increasingly frustrated at school. She would see injustices and want to respond, believing she could help, but knowing it was risky and that it would upset Alex. As an escape, she started getting more involved in riding. It was just her and the horse; no human drama at all. With Cisco’s guidance she began practicing low jumps, practicing quick turns, and improving her horsemanship.  
  
One rainy day in mid-December she was training in the small indoor arena. As she prepared to go through a course and turns she heard unfamiliar footsteps on concrete walk beyond the track wall, not the usual worn boots of the hands. She looked around but didn’t see anyone, so she began her run, over several hurdles and tight turns and back around. As she came to a stop she heard polite clapping. She turned her horse and looked all around, finally seeing Lena watching from a shadowy area.  
  
“Impressive.” She said with a mysterious smile.  
  
After all her imaginings, it was quite a shock for Kara to suddenly see Lena there in real life and she was at a loss for words.  
  
“Thank you, I….well, I’ve been practicing.”  
  
“I can see that.” Lena said genuinely, without her usual teasing voice and smirk.  
  
“Lena, are you ready to ride?” Kara jumped at the sound of Lionel’s voice booming into the arena.  
  
“Yes, Father.” Lena said, impassively.  
  
“I guess I’ll see you around.” She said to Kara, smirk firmly back in place.  
  
“I hope so.” Kara said after they were out of sight.  
  
After that, Kara took care of her horse and cleaned out some stalls. She saw Cisco and asked about the Luthor’s sudden appearance.  
  
“They usually show up around this time of year for winter break. Since they are both in boarding school they have a long break. Sometimes they’re here for several weeks, but sometimes they also take trips to one exotic place or another during the holiday. There’s no telling.”  
  
Kara’s heart raced at the thought of seeing Lena regularly. She stayed around a bit longer after work, hoping to see her return from her ride, but she’d promised Eliza she would be home early for dinner and so she had to leave before they got back.  
  
That night she had especially intense dreams. She looked over at Alex, wondering if this was going to happen more often now that Lena was back. She stared at the ceiling and tried not to think about her. It was going to be a long few weeks if the Luthors stayed around. She couldn’t wait to find out.

  



	6. Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?

The next day Kara rushed home from school to make it to work as early as possible. When she got there she tried to subtly inquire about whether the Luthors had shown up at the barns.  
  
“Kara, it’s OK for you to ask about Lena.” Cisco wasn’t fooled at all by her attempts to be nonchalant about her questions. He grinned at her. “You have a crush on her, there’s nothing wrong with that.”  
  
“What!? Me? I…I was just trying to help. You. I thought you might want help with their horses if they go out.” Kara stammered.  
  
“Right. Thanks, you’re always looking for ways to help around here and I appreciate that. And if you don’t want to admit you have a crush on her, that’s fine. We’ll call it being helpful.” Cisco put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. Kara looked down, embarrassed but also feeling warm inside at the affection and teasing from Cisco. She could see he was only trying to help her deal with her feelings, probably thinking she was ashamed of being attracted to a girl. Coming from Krypton, she was never taught to be ashamed about that. But she was very worried about how humans would react to her different biology. While she saw examples of girls liking girls and boys liking boys during her marathon TV viewing, she never found anything showing someone who presented as a girl and thought of themselves as a girl and also had a penis. And she saw countless examples of how hard it can be for people who are different in American high schools. Kara wondered if Cisco had noticed that she was different biologically, given all the time doing a lot of physical work together.  
  
“And, by the way. Lena did go out about an hour ago. So, if you would like to be helpful with her horses when she gets’ back that would be great.” He said with a smile.  
  
“You mean she went out alone?” Kara was surprised, she’d only ever seen her ride with Lionel.  
  
“Yes, she does that now and then. Kara, just…just be careful, OK? Lena is from a very different world. And before long she’ll go back to school. Just be careful with your heart.” Cisco gave her a sad smile and turned and walked away.  
  
Kara’s heart rate jumped up at the thought of seeing Lena alone. Instead of going to the arena to practice jumps she kept herself busy with chores in the vicinity so she would hear Lena’s horse. Finally, about an hour later she heard someone coming and made her way back to the corral. The sight of Lena riding a horse once again took Kara’s breath away. Lena slowed her pace and stopped near Kara.  
  
“So, it seems you really are ready to be of service.” Lena said with a smirk as Kara took the reins from her.  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” Kara said without thinking, then chastised herself for saying something that must sound so lame. She’d been watching too many westerns, wanting to see more stories with horses.  
  
“Oh my, you really are something else entirely.” Lena said as she gracefully dismounted. Kara wanted to reach out and help her, but she noticed that when Cisco helped the Luthors he only held the horse and didn’t touch the rider. She was vibrating with a sensation of wanting to touch Lena, which made her extra careful not to do it.  
  
“I feel like Christmas may come early for me this year.” Lena said with a somewhat predatory grin as she looked at Kara.  
  
Kara blushed and looked down at her boots, not totally sure what that meant, but the tone of her voices told her Lena was intrigued. Kara stood awkwardly, not sure how to respond.  
  
Finally, she looked directly at Lena and said, “Well, just let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”  
  
Lena’s mouth dropped open slightly in surprise but recovered quickly. “What, no ‘ma’am’ this time?” she teased.  
  
“I’ll call you anything you want.” Kara said earnestly.  
  
“Be still, my heart.” Lena put her hand to her chest.  
  
Again, she hadn’t heard the phrase before, but Lena’s tone told her it was a good thing. Without realizing it Kara’s eyes followed Lena’s hand to her chest. She wore a button-up blouse that was undone to show the smooth, pale skin of her throat. Lena’s fingers lingered over her collar bone and mesmerized Kara for a moment. Without meaning to Kara pictured her lips and tongue moving along that beautiful bone, her hands moving to undo another button…  
  
“See something you like?” Lena laughed when she noticed Kara staring. Kara’s eyes opened wide in surprise and her face burned red.  
  
“Sorry, I just…you…” Kara managed to stop herself before telling Lena she was the most beautiful person she’d ever met. Instead she turned and moved with the horse towards the barn.  
  
“I better get Streaky back to the barn.” She said lamely.  
  
“Kara, it’s OK. I was only teasing. You don’t have to run off.” Lena called.  
  
Kara stopped and turned toward Lena but had no idea what to say.  
  
“Are you working tomorrow?” Lena asked.  
  
“Yes.” Kara said.  
  
“Would you come out for a ride with me then? Father went back to the city for a few days. It’s a bit lonely out there by myself on the trail.”  
  
Kara’s heart leapt at the thought of riding with Lena, but she hesitated. She thought Cisco would frown on the idea. She didn’t want to shirk her duties, but she also didn’t like the idea of Lena riding alone, it really wasn’t a good idea. Not to mention she relished the chance to spend more time with her.  
  
“Are you worried about your boss? Have you forgotten that I own the place? I can handle it if that’s a problem.”  
  
“No! No, it’s not a problem. Please don’t say anything to my boss!" Kara was horrified at the idea of causing any trouble for Cisco.  
  
“Do you want to ride with me, Kara?” Lena seemed confused and surprised that someone was not quickly giving her what she wanted.  
  
“Of course. Yes. I’ll speak to my boss, I’m sure it will be fine.”  
  
“Till tomorrow then.” Lena gave her a mysterious smile and left the corral.  
  
“Till tomorrow.” Kara stood and watched Lena go, completely amazed by what had happened.  
  
***  
  
The next day Kara found herself distracted by the thought of riding with Lena. She tried to concentrate in class, but her mind was far away. She rushed to get there as early as possible so that she could get as much done as she could before Lena arrived. Cisco had laughed when she went on about how she would make up the time.  
  
“Kara, you work circles around the rest of us. I don’t know how you do as much as you do. Don’t worry about taking some time for a ride, you work too hard as it is. Keeping the Luthors happy is our job at the bottom line anyway.”  
  
“Thanks, Cisco. I’m sure we won’t be gone long.”  
  
“Take all the time you want.” He said with a sympathetic smile. Kara could see he was still worried about her. Truthfully, she was worried too. She knew she was in over her head, but there was not a thing in the world that could have convinced her to stop.  
  
By the time Lena arrived she had two horses saddled and ready to ride. Lena gave her a brilliant smile.  
  
“So, the boss stopped cracking the whip for a bit?”  
  
“He didn’t mind at all. He says I work too hard anyway.”  
  
“I just bet you do. Well, maybe we can find a different way to put your skills to work.” She said with a smirk.  
  
Kara’s mouth fell open. Lena always seemed to throw her for a loop. Was she doing it on purpose?  
  
“I’ve no doubt, Ms. Luthor.”  
  
“Ms. Luthor? Call me Lena, please." She said with a laugh. "Or 'ma'am'. That was kind of hot."  
  
Lena began double-checking to make sure her gear had been set up correctly.  
  
“No offense, I’ve just had some bad experiences. I ride in so many different places and don’t always get someone as thorough as you. You’ve done an excellent job. Thank you.”  
  
Kara warmed at the praise. “Shall we go then?  
  
“By all means." Lena paused and looked at Kara with a smile. "How about a leg up?"  
  
Kara's heart raced at the thought of being so close to Lena. To finally be able to touch her, if only for a moment. Lena steadied herself by putting her hand on Kara's shoulder and Kara noticed Lena's pulse quickening as well. She put her hand behind Lena's knee just as she'd seen Cisco do for a couple of guests who were new riders. As she gave her a boost it occurred to Kara that Lena didn't need her help at all. Maybe Lena wanted to be close to her, too.  
  
"Wow, you're quite strong, aren't you?" Lena remarked.  
  
Kara realized she'd probably helped a little too much. "Um, yeah, well...I work out a lot."  
  
She hurried to mount her horse as Lena eyed her closely. "I can tell."  
  
“Do you have time to go all the way to the lake?” Lena asked.  
  
“Sure, Cisco said to take as much time as we like.”  
  
“Wonderful. I’ll lead the way.” She took off at a brisk pace while Kara followed behind.  
  
They were going too fast to talk much on their way out. Arriving at the lake, Lena dismounted and secured her reins. She sat down in the grass and gazed out at the lake. Kara soon joined her but sat at a good distance away from her.  
  
"I promise I won't bite if you come closer." Kara moved over but still at a respectful distance. Though she wanted to be close she was feeling nervous and was worried about becoming too excited. Now that she finally had a chance spend time with Lena she didn't want to scare her away by getting a hard-on. She tried to think about unpleasant things, but she was surrounded by Lena's scent and being so close to her alone had her blood pumping.  
  
"How long have you been riding, Kara?"  
  
"Over 3 months now."  
  
"Wow, you're a natural!" Lena exclaimed. "I would have thought you'd been riding for years."  
  
"What about you?" Kara asked.  
  
"Since I was very young." Lena mused. "As long as I can remember we've had horses. Father used to own racehorses, but says he doesn't have time to focus on it anymore. When we were younger my brother and I used to compete."  
  
"You have a brother?"  
  
"Yes, he's several years older, but we're still close. He'll be coming next week, he's in college and has a different break schedule. He may not ride, though. Lately he seems to have lost interest. I miss riding with him."  
  
"What about your mother, does she like to ride?"  
  
Lena got an annoyed look on her face. "Mother's never had much interest. In riding or in spending time with me."  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." She could see Lena's mood darkening.  
  
"It doesn't matter, I'm over it." Kara could see she clearly was not over it.  
  
"What about your family?" Lena asked.  
  
"Well, my family lives near here, but I don't think they ride much. Actually, I don't know that much about them, I've only recently been adopted and still getting to know them."  
  
Lena looked at her, eyes wide. "Really? That's unusual at your age. Where is your biological family?"  
  
"Well, they, um..., well, it's a long story." Kara stammered and shut down. She hadn't realized how strange it would sound to be adopted into a new family while in high school.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry either. Well, maybe I did, but it's fine if you don't want to tell me. Who am I to you, anyway? You probably think of me as the spoiled boss's daughter, taking you away from your work."  
  
"What? No! I mean, I wanted to ride with you." Kara exlaimed. Lena looked unconvinced and annoyed. She started to get up from the grass.  
  
"We should be getting back." Lena stated, coldly.  
  
"Why? We just got here! Did I do something wrong?" Things seemed to be going so well, Kara couldn't figure out how they changed so quickly.  
  
"No, it's me. I just...well, I've been coming on pretty strong. I thought I was getting signals that you were interested. But you clearly don't want to be anywhere near me and I think this was all in my head. I'm sorry I've been teasing you. And I've probably put you in an awkward position with your job. I'm a fool."  
  
"Lena, I'm not sure what 'coming on too strong' means, but I'm really glad to be here with you. It's just, I'm different than other girls. Very different. And I'm worried that if I get close to you that you'll see how different. And then you won't want to be anywhere near me."  
  
Lena stopped and turned around. "Oh, Kara. I already know what you're talking about. I already know. I could see you were different from the moment I met you. First of all, you're earnest, and kind, and so different than the people in my world. I can see you want to give. People around me always seem to be looking for what they can take. You're nothing like other girls I know at school."  
  
It meant a lot to Kara to hear those kind words, but she was disappointed that Lena didn't really understand what she was talking about. She was mortified at the thought of trying to explain how she was physically different. She secretly hoped Lena had already figured it out and still wanted to spend time with her. She looked at her boots, trying to get the nerve to explain.  
  
"And, secondly," Lena continued, "I also know that you are biologically different. And it's OK, Kara. There's nothing wrong with you, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I already know."  
  
Kara looked up at her in surprise and relief. "You do?"  
  
"I noticed on that first evening we met." Lena said.  
  
"So you HAVE known this whole time. I've been so worried about you, or anyone, finding out. I know I'm not normal here. And people here don't usually react well to 'different'. I've learned a lot since I arrived."  
  
"Do you mean people in Midvale? That's probably true of some people anywhere you go. There are always people who fear what is different. But I'm sure there are even more people who don't. You should give people a chance to know you, Kara. You should give me a chance. I'm not what I seem, either."  
  
"What do you mean?" Kara asked.  
  
"I know how I seem. People see me as arrogant and spoiled. Maybe I am. But a lot of it is bravado, a defense I've built up over years of being used by people who want something from me. People have so many expectations of me, it's exhausting. I automatically try to push people away with this persona. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I am arrogant. It comes with always being the smartest one in the room." She said, laughing at her joke.  
  
"I'm kidding. But then again, many a truth is said in jest." Lena said with a wicked grin.  
  
Another saying Kara wasn't familiar with, she decided she really need to memorize a common phrase book if she wanted to understand Lena better. Lena spoke more like an adult rather than with the typical high school slang she'd been trying to learn.  
  
"Anyway, I use my attitude to keep people at arm's length. But I admit I'm very drawn to you, Kara. I found I don't want to push you away, even though I know it's a bad idea."  
  
"What's a bad idea?" Kara asked.  
  
"It's a bad idea for me to spend time with you. Getting to know you and maybe enjoying that time. Our lives are very different. And I'm always going to go away."  
"But you always come back, right?"  
  
Lena looked at her closely. "I don't know, Kara. I hope so. I love this place, it feels more like home than anywhere else I've lived. But Father could sell it tomorrow and I wouldn't have any say in the decision."  
  
Kara was quiet. It was a lot to take in. She was elated that Lena knew, and was fine with her differences, and still wanted to spend time with her. She also worried how it would work being from different worlds, and that Lena was always going to go away, maybe with no idea of when she would return. But none of that really mattered. There was no stopping her feelings.  
  
When Kara didn't respond Lena stood and walked back to her horse.  
  
"Wait, Lena, please." Kara grabbed her arm to stop her. Lena turned and looked at her expectantly. Still not knowing what to say, she let go of her fears for a moment and acted on the feelings she'd been have since they met. She lunged forward and planted a kiss on Lena's lips.  
  
Lena was taken off guard, but before Kara could pull back Lena slid her hand behind her neck and pulled her back down, deepening the kiss. Kara's lips parted as she felt Lena licking into them. She moaned at the feeling of Lena's tongue on hers. Kara instinctively reached for her hips to pull Lena's body against hers, then realized her mistake. She could feel her cock responding to Lena's kisses, and now with her body flush against Kara she could feel herself getting hard. She quickly pushed Lena back and extracted herself from the kiss.  
  
"I'm sorry... I can't...." Kara stammered and put distance between them.  
  
"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed. I just...couldn't help myself." Lena said, without her usual confidence.  
  
"I'm the one that's sorry. It's not that I don't want to kiss you. Seems like it's all I can think about, actually. It's just that, well, this is... a bit new for me, and I'm getting too excited." Kara said, embarrassed and looking at her boots.  
  
Realizing what she meant, Lena looked down at Kara's jeans and could see the the growing bulge.  
  
Lena bit her bottom lip as she looked Kara in the eye. "There's nothing wrong with getting excited, or showing you're excited."  
  
Lena took a step closer. "You know I could help you with that."  
  
At the thought of Lena 'helping' her, Kara's cock grew to full attention.  
  
"Sorry, I...I've got to get back." She backed away, feeling overwhelmed and having no idea what to do.  
  
"I'm not going to jump you, you don't need to run away! I'm just attracted to you, Kara. And I'm used to acting on my feelings. And getting what I want. The crowd I run with is pretty fast, but I can see this is too fast for you. I promise, I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."  
  
"Lena, I'm attracted to you, too. Way too much, I think. It's not that I don't want to, it's just... I've never had this happen to me around another person before. This is very new and we just met. I just...need to go slower I think." Part of her wanted to stuff those words back down her throat. Her body desperately did want to go fast, but her heart and mind panicked.  
  
"We can go at any pace you like. Or none at all." Lena said casually, as if it really didn't matter to her either way.  
  
"Please don't say 'none at all'. I hate to think I'd never have a chance to kiss you again." She said, sounding despondent.  
  
Lena's casual attitude seemed to melt a bit at that. She smiled almost shyly. "My, you do say the sweetest things." Kara recognized Lena's attempt at a southern accent and giggled.  
  
Lena stepped forward again and beckoned Kara with her index finger. "Come closer, Kara. I promise, no hands." She raised her hands up as if under arrest.  
  
Kara came closer as if pulled by magnet. Lena leaned in for a sweet, chaste kiss on her lips and stepped back quickly.  
  
"Better now?" Lena grinned at her. "We should probably get going, I don't want to get in trouble for keeping you out past your bedtime." Lena's teasing smile was back.  
  
Lena moved toward her horse and, not surprisingly, mounted with ease.  
  
"Darnn, I wanted to help." Kara mumbled, more to herself than Lena.  
  
Lena laughed and nudged her horse. "Race you to the barn!" she said as she took off.  
  
"Wait, no fair!" Kara lept on her horse and took off, following close behind.


	7. Can't Get There From Here

Kara felt like she was floating a bit on her way home that evening. Sitting through dinner, Eliza couldn’t help but notice her suppressing a smile while she ate.  
  
“Kara, did you have a good day?” she asked.  
  
“Yes! Well, it was just the usual school and work.” She tried to cover up her enthusiasm to avoid any unwanted questions.  
  
Alex eyed her suspiciously. “Didn’t you have a big test in math today?”  
  
“Right! Yes. It was fine. I got them.”  
  
“What do you mean you got them?” Alex asked.  
  
“The answers.”  
  
‘All of them?!” Alex asked incredulously.  
  
“Yes. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”  
  
“Sure. Of course. That’s great, Kara!” Eliza exclaimed. “I can see why you’re so happy.”  
  
“Yes, that’s it! That’s why I’m so happy.” She hoped she was off the hook.  
  
Alex looked at her like she was nuts, but refrained from saying anything. Later that night she started giving her the 3rd degree.  
  
‘Kara, what really happened today? There’s no way you’re so excited about a math test.”  
  
“It’s nothing, I just, well, it was a lovely day and I got to ride out to the lake.”  
  
“Ride out to the lake? That’s what you’re so happy about?”  
  
“Sure, why not? It’s a beautiful lake!”  
  
“Kara, does this have anything to do with the return of the Luthor family to the area?” Alex said suspiciously.  
  
“No! Well, a bit, maybe. Yes.”  
  
“Kara, tell me everything, right now!”  
  
“Well, yeah, Lena is back for winter break. And she asked me to go for a ride. And….I sort of…um, kissed her. Or she kissed me. Or both. Yes, both of those.”  
  
“What?! You’re just now telling me about this?”  
  
“It just happened! I’m not even sure what really happened, it seems a bit unreal. It all happened very fast. I have no idea what it means.”  
  
“Well, what did she say? Did you talk at all?”  
  
“She said she was attracted to me. And she said she already knew.”  
  
“Knew what?” Alex asked.  
  
“Knew. Knew that I’m different. And she said it was fine.”  
  
“Wow. That’s great, Kara.” Alex said skeptically.  
  
“Is it such a surprise?”  
  
“No! I mean, no, it’s not that big a deal. I think I might have misjudged her, that’s all.”  
  
“Well, I think I was pretty obvious after the kiss. I just, well, my body reacted really strongly, I couldn’t help it. I need to figure out how to control myself better. It’s just…well it felt so good, I’ve never felt that way before. I just wanted to be closer to her, to feel her against me. But then I panicked and pushed her away.”  
  
“So what happened after that?” Alex asked.  
  
“We talked. We talked through it. I told her it was new for me, that I needed to go slow. And she said that was fine. And it seemed like it really was.”  
  
“Kara, I think it’s very wise of you to go slow.”  
  
“Maybe. I hope I didn’t miss my chance to get closer to her. I like her so much, Alex.”  
  
“I know. But if going slow is a deal breaker then she probably isn’t the right one for you right now.”  
  
“She is the right one for me. There’s no one else like her. I know she seems like she thinks she’s better than everyone, and like she doesn’t care, but it’s just a defense she uses. People have so many expectations of her. They misjudge her.” Kara insisted.  
  
“I hope you’re right.” Alex replied.  
  
“I’m going to see her again tomorrow.” Kara said quietly, waiting for Alex’s reaction.  
  
“OK, Kara, I can see you really like her. And I know nothing I say will make any difference. But please, please be careful with your heart. She’ll only be here a short time. And she may be after very different things than you.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Kara asked.  
  
“Well, she may just want to have fun during her break. And I can see by your face this means a lot more than that to you.”  
  
“I want to have fun, too. We had a lot of fun at the lake today.”  
  
“That’s not really what I mean, Kara. I mean …you know what? Just forget it. There’s nothing I can say that’s going to make any difference anyway. You are in deep, I can see it on your face.”  
  
Again with the new phrases. Kara decided to let it go, relieved that Alex seemed to be giving up her inquisition.  
  
***  
  
The next day Kara rushed to work after school. Lena had asked her if she wanted to ride again, but didn’t really say when. Kara wanted to get as much work done as she could before Lena arrived. She couldn’t wait to see her. Every time she heard someone coming her heart leapt and she spun around to see if it was Lena. As it started to get dark Kara’s disappointment set in. She could see it was getting too dark to ride and still no sign of her. She asked Cisco if he had heard anything about the Luthor’s riding plans, but he didn’t know anything.  
  
That night at dinner her family noticed her drastic change in attitude from the night before. She looked so dejected, Alex asked about it before they went to sleep that night.  
  
“Is everything OK, Kara?” She asked.  
  
“No. I mean, yes. Everything’s fine.”  
  
“What? You can talk to me, you know. Did something happen with Lena today?”  
  
“No. Nothing at all, actually. She didn’t come.”  
  
“Oh. I’m sorry. That really sucks.”  
  
“Yeah. I think you were right. Spending time together means different things to both of us. I couldn’t wait to see her and it seems like she forgot.”  
  
“Maybe not. Maybe something came up.”  
  
“Yeah. Maybe. But it made me realize you’re right. I need to be careful with my heart. I’m putting too much of it into the idea of someone I don’t even know. Maybe she really isn’t OK with me being so different. I think she just didn’t want me to feel bad and so she said it was OK.”  
  
“Kara, try not to jump to conclusions. I know it’s hard not to feel insecure now that you know she knows. But remember that she already knew you were different when she asked you to ride. Maybe she didn’t just blow you off.”  
  
‘Blow me off?”  
  
“Stood you up."  
  
Kara still looked confused. "OK, um, I just mean she said she would meet you and didn’t.” Alex tried to clarify.  
  
“So now you’re defending Lena? That’s a switch.”  
  
‘Well, no, that wasn’t cool of her not to come. But if she was just being nice, why did she ask you to ride again? If she had a problem with you she could have just let it go after yesterday. You said she kissed you too! It doesn’t add up. I know I’ve been warning you about Lena, but I’m very quick to judge and naturally skeptical. Maybe I don’t know everything.”  
  
“Well, either way, I need to get a better handle on myself. I’ve been running around like a puppy dog and being let down like this really hurts.”  
  
“I know. I know it hurts. You know how it is with Vicki and me. I know she cares about me, but I also know she’s not willing to risk people finding out about us. Sometimes it does hurt when someone you care about wants something different than you do. You just have decide if you’re OK with that.”  
  
“Thanks for listening, Alex. It helps to be able to talk about it. If you ever want to talk about Vicki you know I’m always ready to listen.”  
  
“I know. I appreciate that. There’s not much to say, really. It’s so good when we’re together. I guess it’s OK if we have to hide it when others are around.”  
  
“Maybe she’ll change her mind. These things take time, right? Everyone has to get there at their own pace. Your mom and dad are very different from hers and she’s not ready to face them. Maybe just be patient?” Kara wasn’t really sure if that was the best advice, but she could see Alex was struggling and that she really did care about Vicki. Kara was an optimist, and had faith that Alex’s girlfriend would come around. Given that they didn’t have these hang-ups on Krypton she had a hard time understanding what the big deal was about ‘coming out’, as Alex called it.  
  
“Thanks. It does help a bit to talk about it. It feels….not so lonely.”  
  
“Yeah, for me too. Good night, Alex.”  
  
“Good night, Kara.”  
  
***  
  
The next day at school Kara tried hard to re-focus on her schoolwork, rugby, and friends. After her suffering the day before she decided she really needed to take a step back, not let herself fall from such a height again. She decided to skip work that day, though she found it hard to stay away. Her thoughts continued to turn to Lena. The memory of Lena’s lips and tongue on her mouth continued to haunt her thoughts. She hated feeling out of control of her own thoughts and feelings, but she knew it would be easier as time passed.  
  
The next day she felt she really had to go to the ranch. She hadn’t contacted Cisco and she felt guilty for just not showing up. When she arrived she apologized to him.  
  
“No worries, Kara. You can take a day off now and then.” Cisco told her.  
  
Kara resisted asking after the Luthors, one in particular.  
  
Cisco took mercy on her. “So, Lena came to ride yesterday.”  
  
“Oh?” Kara tried to sound uninterested.  
  
“Yeah. She hung around the corral for quite a while before heading out for her ride. It was kind of weird.”  
  
“Hmm. Did she say if she was riding today?’  
  
“No, she didn’t say.”  
  
“Well, I better get to work.” Kara said and moved towards the barn.  
  
About an hour later Lena appeared with Lionel close behind. Kara tried hard not to look at her as she moved to the barn to get their horses. Cisco was already there and lended a hand.  
  
Kara brought Streaky out towards Lena. She could tell Lena was staring at her but she was determined not to look her in the eye.  
  
“Thank you.” Lena said, imploring through her eyes for Kara to look at her.  
  
“No problem, it’s my job.” Kara said, still averting her eyes.  
  
“Kara, I,….” Lena whispered in a low voice.  
  
“Lena, ready to go?” Lionel was already mounted.  
  
“Um, sure.” Lena looked again at Kara, but she had moved to the other side of the horse so that Lena couldn’t see her.  
  
As she watched Lena ride away with her father Kara felt regret. She longed to connect with her, but she was very hurt and couldn’t let it go that easily. Lena clearly didn’t prioritize spending time with her, so why should Kara be so distraught over her skipping their ride? And Lena obviously didn’t want her father to know anything about it. Was she embarrassed for him know she was spending time with a ranch hand?  
  
She worked as fast as she could at a human speed, keeping her body busy as much as possible. She knew she needed to leave before they got back if she wanted to get a handle on her feelings. The more space the better for her. She got as much done as she could and let Cisco know she was leaving.  
  
“Leaving so soon?” he asked.  
  
“Well, I have all my work done.” She worried that he thought she was shirking her duties.  
  
“I know, Kara, I’m not worried about that.” He responded.  
  
“Right, so I should get going.”  
  
As she headed out of the corral, she caught sight of Lena and her father far away on the other side of a huge open field. She quickened her step to get away before they made it back. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lena dig in her boot and Streaky responded by moving into a full gallop.  
  
Lena arrived in the corral and brought her horse to a quick stop. Kara kept moving, resisting the use of her super speed while trying to get away as fast as she could.  
  
“Kara!" Lena called out.  
  
There was no way she could pretend she didn’t hear. She knew it wasn’t acceptable to walk away from owners of the ranch when they needed help, so she slowed and turned to Lena, looking her in the eye for the first time that day.  
  
She walked towards her and said, “Sorry, let me take care of your horse.”  
  
“Kara.” Lena said quietly as Kara took the reins from her. She turned and headed toward the barn with Streaky.  
  
‘Kara, please wait.”  
  
Kara stopped and looked toward Lena. “Is there something else I can help you with?" She asked.  
  
“No! I just wanted….” As Lena stammered, Lionel arrived and Kara could see Cisco coming out to take his horse.  
  
Lena got quiet and Kara headed back to the barn. After putting up the horse she slipped out the other end of the barn away from the Luthors. She felt awful avoiding Lena, but it was hurt piled on hurt as she realized that Lena clearly didn’t want her father to know about them riding together. She told herself she was just protecting her heart and ran home as fast as she could without raising suspicion.  
  
That night she told Alex what happened and how much she was hurting.  
  
“Kara, it sounds like she really wanted to talk. You should give her a chance to explain. I know you’re hurt, but trying to hurt back isn’t the answer.”  
  
“That’s not what I’m doing! I’m trying to protect my heart, like you said.”  
  
“That may be, but even if she did blow you off, it’s better for you to know that. Just go tomorrow and if she shows up let her talk.”  
  
“OK.” Kara looked at Alex. “I know you’re right.”  
  
“Good. Now try to get some sleep.”  
  
“Thanks, Alex.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the angsty cliffhanger - they are teenagers! I promise to post a fixer chapter same time tomorrow.


	8. Don't Go Breaking My Heart

The next day when she got to work Kara saw Lena leaning on her forearms against the corral fence, looking out at some horses grazing in the field. When she heard Kara she spun around.  
  
“Kara!”  
  
“Hi.” She said quietly.  
  
“You avoided me yesterday.”  
  
“Yes. And you blew me off the day before.”  
  
“I know. I’m sorry about that. I really did want to see you.”  
  
“Then why didn’t you?”  
  
“I couldn’t help it. My brother was arriving at the airport and mother insisted we all go together to get him. She wanted us to go out to dinner ‘as a family’ in the city. I had to go. And I couldn’t call. I don’t have your cell number.”  
  
“I don’t have a cell number.”  
  
“What? How can you not have a cell number?”  
  
“Because I don’t have a cell phone.”  
  
“Wow. I thought everyone in high school had a phone.”  
  
“Well, I’m not like everyone else.” Kara looked down at her boots.  
  
“I know that. And that’s a good thing, Kara.” Lena cupped her hand under Kara’s chin and tilted her face to look at her. “You’re special.”  
  
Kara could feel herself melt under Lena’s touch. “Yeah, I think maybe I’m too special.”  
  
“No, Kara, you’re not. You’re the right amount of special.” Lena held her eyes. Kara didn’t look convinced.  
  
“Please believe that I really wanted to ride with you. My mother, she gets something in her head and has to have her way. It was no use telling her I had plans.”  
  
“You mean you didn’t want to tell her you had plans with one of the hands. I could tell you didn’t want your father to know.”  
  
“You’re right, I didn’t.” Lena let out an exasperated sigh and dropped her hand from Kara’s face. She turned and looked back out at the horses.  
  
“You’re embarrassed of me.” Kara said.  
  
‘What? Kara, no. Not at all. It’s just that… well, a couple of years ago I started riding regularly with one of the hands. And when my parents found out they abruptly planned another vacation. We left the ranch for the rest of the break. They didn’t say that’s why we did it, but I could tell they didn’t approve. When they suddenly announced the trip I accused them of trying to keep us from spending time together. They denied it, of course, but I asked Lex about it later and he said I was right.”  
  
“Lex is your brother?”  
  
“Yes. My parents talk to him about a lot of things they won’t discuss with me.”  
  
Kara stayed quiet.  
  
“Kara, why would I be ashamed of spending time with you? You’re a kind, strong, beautiful person. Anyone should feel honored.”  
  
Kara smiled hesitantly but still didn’t say anything.  
  
“You really have no idea, do you?” Lena asked.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“You really have no idea how beautiful you are. And going around in those Levi’s, hat, and boots? That’s just completely unfair.” Lena said, her lower lip sticking out in a pout.  
  
“Why is it unfair? I really need these boots for the job, and this hat…”  
  
“Kara, I was only teasing!” Lena interrupted her. “I just meant that you are extremely sexy in this getup. You take everything so literally!”  
  
“Oh. Well. It’s just that where I’m from we speak very directly. We don’t tease or use sarcasm. Words don't have double meanings and we don’t have a lot of strange phrases, so sometimes it’s hard for me to understand what people mean. I just assume they mean what they say. Eliza explained to me that I need to “take with a grain of salt” what people say here. And speaking of confusing phrases, where does this one about salt come from? It doesn’t really make much sense to me.”  
  
“Hmmm, where do you come from, exactly? I hate to think of a place without sarcasm. Did you grow up in another country?”  
  
“Well, sort of. I…hey, are we going to go for a ride or not? It’s going to be dusk soon.” Kara did her best to change the subject without lying directly to Lena.  
  
“Yes! Absolutely. Let’s go.”  
  
“OK. But this time I’m not letting you win.” She said with a grin.  
  
“Ha! We’ll see about that.” Lena said and they both raced towards the barn.  
  
***  
  
Kara and Lena rode a loop trail through the forested area on the property. They both seemed to enjoy being away from everyone and everything else, except each other. Once they reached the forest they couldn’t ride fast and it gave them a chance to talk. The trail was slow going, with many rocky areas and turns. They talked a lot about their families and school. Having only been at Midvale High for a few months, Kara was amazed to hear tales of Lena’s school.  
  
“It seems like you do a lot of things there that aren’t related to studying.” Kara said.  
  
“Well, we’re boarding, so we’re there all the time, without family. We have to find something to do.”  
  
“Do you feel lonely? Do you miss your family?” Kara asked.  
  
“Sometimes. Well, I do miss Lex, anyway. These days I miss him even when we’re together though. He’s changed so much; it’s hard to connect with him now.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well, we used to spend time together, talking about our thoughts and feelings. We helped each other out when Mother and Father were giving us a hard time about something. Now he seems to be interested in very different things.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“He talks a lot about ‘foreigners’. About immigrants coming into the country. I think he had a bad experience with a girlfriend who he thought betrayed him. He seemed very hurt and angry for a while. Then he got involved with a pretty tough group of people. Now when I see him he has a lot of anger. He doesn’t laugh much anymore and doesn’t spend much time with me.”  
  
“I guess he doesn’t like aliens very much, then.” Kara commented quietly.  
  
‘He seems suspicious of anyone who isn’t born in the U.S. He won’t tell me what happened, but it had quite an impact on him.”  
  
“What about you?”  
  
“What do you mean, what about me?”  
  
“What do you think about ‘outsiders’?” Kara asked quietly.  
  
“I don’t think of people as outsiders or insiders. I think we’re all the same on the inside.”  
  
“But what about those who aren’t…who aren’t, um, human?”  
  
“I think we all have hopes and dreams and need each other. That sounds so cheesy. I just don’t think it helps to try to look for ways to divide. We should be looking for ways to connect, not focus on our differences.”  
  
They reached an overlook and decided to stop for a rest. Lena plopped down on the ground after securing her horse.  
  
‘Come sit.” She motioned to Kara.  
  
Kara felt nervous, but was very drawn to be near Lena. She sat down close to her, their legs just brushing.  
  
“Kara, don’t feel nervous. I told you I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” Lena said softly.  
  
“I’m not worried about that. I’m just nervous about doing something wrong.”  
  
“You’re not going to do anything wrong. And if you do something I’m not comfortable with I’ll let you know, OK? Please don’t be afraid of me.”  
  
“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of how much I want you.” Kara said, staring at her boots.  
  
Kara felt the skin of her leg vibrating where it brushed Lena’s. As an experiment she reached and touched Lena’s hand where it rested on her thigh.  
  
‘Your skin, it feels like electricity moving through me when I touch it.” Kara said in amazement.  
  
“Don’t stop, Kara, your touch feels so good.”  
  
Kara began caressing her hand and moving up her arm slowly. She was amazed by the soft smoothness of her skin. As Kara moved up, caressing her arm she eventually reached Lena’s sleeve and couldn’t move higher along her skin. Instead, she reached for her smooth neck, grazing her skin over her collar bone and running her fingers down until she reached a low button holding her blouse together. She circled Lena’s top button with her index finger, wishing she could unbutton it and continue caressing the skin inside her blouse. From her angle Kara could just see the top of Lena’s breasts and she longed to touch them. She could hear Lena’s breathing getting deeper, her chest raising and lowering faster to take in more air.  
  
Lena made a small gasping noise as Kara’s other hand suddenly moved behind her neck and pulled Lena towards her roughly, capturing her lips at last. She had a hard time keeping those lips from her mind, and now that she was kissing Lena again she cursed herself for how much time she’d wasted trying to stay away. As Lena’s lips opened to hers she knew there was nothing else she wanted more than to kiss her, to be closer to her. They began to move closer and then Lena’s fingers tangled in Kara’s hair, pulling her down on top of her. With both her hands tied up touching Lena, Kara was caught off balance and tumbled on top of her, her jaw landing hard against Lena’s top lip.  
  
“Oww!” Lena called out, feeling her lips for blood. Kara jumped up as fast as she could.  
  
“Are you OK? I’m so sorry Lena! Did I hurt you?”  
  
Lena recovered from her surprise and laughed. “It’s OK, Kara. It just surprised me. I don’t mind a little pain with pleasure.” Her wicked grin was back in place.  
  
Kara looked devastated to think she’d hurt Lena.  
  
“I’m really sorry.”  
  
Kara helped her to her feet and stepped back. Lena reached out and hooked a finger through Kara’s belt loop and pulled. “It’s really OK, Kara. Why don’t you come closer and make me feel better?”  
  
Kara moved closer, easing her hands around Lena’s back and bringing their bodies flush. She leaned in and gave Lena a delicate kiss on the side of her lips. As Lena moved to deepen the kiss she suddenly jerked her head back.  
  
“Ouch!” Lena felt her mouth. “I think you bruised my lip when you fell!”  
  
“Oh Rao! I’m so clumsy!”  
  
Lena looked at her oddly. “What did you say?”  
  
“I said that ‘I’m so clumsy’!”  
  
“I mean what did you say right before that?”  
  
“Huh? I’m not sure. Anyway, we should probably head back. We’re running out of light and it’s a long way. Plus I don’t want to risk giving you any more injuries.” Kara watched to make sure Lena was steady on her feet and then turned towards her horse.  
  
“What fun is that? I think you’re just trying to get a jump on me so you can beat me back to the corral.”  
  
Kara didn’t respond, she was quite dejected at the realization that she had really hurt Lena. She waited for Lena to mount and started back down the trail.  
  
After a quiet ride they arrived at the corral. Kara dismounted and walked to take Lena’s horse.  
  
“I’ll take her in.” Lena said and held on to the reins. Kara followed her into the barn leading her own horse. After securing her horse, Lena came to Kara and stopped her from working on the horses. She took her hand and held it to her face, kissing the inside of her palm.  
  
“I’m really fine, Kara.” She looked into Kara’s eyes. “I had a good time with you today. It’s worth a bruise to feel your lips on mine.” Lena said, lightly kissing the tips of Kara’s fingers. “I haven’t been able to think of much else for the past couple of days.”  
  
“Sometimes I just don’t know my own strength. I’m really not like others, Lena. I don’t want to hurt you, it’s the worst feeling in the world.” Kara said, looking down.  
  
“The worst feeling for me was when you wouldn’t even look at me yesterday. Much worse than an accidental bruise. Please look at me, Kara.”  
  
Kara blinked her blue eyes wide and looked into Lena’s. “I was miserable yesterday, too. It took all my strength to walk away from you. I was just so hurt.”  
  
“So let’s not do that anymore, OK?” Lena asked. “I think we need to try to trust each other more. Just talk about how we’re feeling.”  
  
“OK. Well right now I’m feeling afraid that I’m going to hurt you. I don’t mean emotionally, I mean physically. I’m stronger than I look, and I’m a total klutz.”  
  
“I don’t believe that, Kara.” Lena continued to hold Kara’s hand against her cheek and look into her eyes. Kara began to stroke Lena’s cheek with her thumb, then moving Lena’s hair out of her eyes, hooking it behind her ear, then caressing her ear. Lena’s skin was so soft. It felt so vulnerable to Kara. Kara resolved to protect her in any way she could. She could tell Lena was putting up a tough defense against the world that maybe didn’t match how she felt all the time.  
  
“I want to take care of you, Lena.” Kara gazed into her eyes as she continued to stroke her cheek. “I never want to hurt you. I never want anyone else to hurt you.”  
  
“My hero.” Lena laughed, but then seeing Kara’s sincerity her eyes welled with tears. “You don’t need to protect me, Kara. I can take care of myself.”  
  
“I know. I’m just telling you how I feel.”  
  
“Kara…” For once Lena was at a loss for words. Kara seemed to cut through her defenses.  
  
“Can I see you this weekend?” Kara asked.  
  
“No.” Lena looked down. “I’m sorry, Kara. I really want to see you, but I can’t.”  
  
“Why not?” Kara subconsciously pulled her hand back.  
  
“We’re flying to Metropolis for the weekend. To spend time together ‘as a family’. Mother’s put together a packed schedule for all of us. And she won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”  
  
Kara felt her heart sink as she realized she wouldn’t see Lena for a while.  
  
“Mother has a hard time being out at the ranch for extended periods. She gets bored. Sometimes she takes off on her own and sometimes she plans a big family adventure.”  
  
“When will you be back?”  
  
“Not until very late Sunday night. I could ride on Monday if you want?” Lena said hopefully.  
  
“I do want.” Kara gave her a weak smile. She moved and gave Lena a soft kiss on the cheek. She didn’t want to risk going anywhere near her bruised mouth.  
  
Lena looked at her longingly. “I’d better get back. Don’t want them to start wondering where I am.”  
  
“Yes, of course. Goodnight, Lena.”  
  
“Goodnight, Kara.” She turned and said quietly to herself. “I’ll see you in my dreams.”  
  
Of course, Kara heard every word.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better now?


	9. Shaking the Tree

That night Alex asked if Kara saw Lena.  
  
‘Yes! We had a really good talk. And a lovely ride. And then I kissed her! And then I nearly split her lip open.” Kara finished on a dejected note.  
  
“What!?” Alex exclaimed.  
  
“It’s a long story. The short version is that I’m a klutz. I think I really hurt her.”  
  
“Oh Kara, was she upset?”  
  
“No. She wanted to kiss more even after her lip injury.”  
  
“Sounds like you got it all sorted out. Why are you being so quiet tonight?”  
  
“I’m just a bit down because she’s going out of town this weekend. I won’t see her for 3 days.”  
  
“Bummer.” Alex empathized. “Hey, why don’t you come to the beach party on Saturday? It’ll take your mind off things.”  
  
“I don’t think so, Alex. I don’t think your friends like me.”  
  
“It’s just because they don’t know you, Kara. Come on, you can invite as many of your nerdy friends as you want.”  
  
Kara smiled, “Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel welcome.”  
  
“Kara, was that sarcasm? It seems Lena may be rubbing off on you.”  
  
“Rubbing off on me?” Kara immediately had a very distracting mental image.  
  
“Kara, get your mind out of the gutter! It just means she’s influencing you.”  
  
“OK. I liked my first idea better.”  
  
“Ha! You are developing a sense of humor.” Alex said. “So, will you come? I promise it’ll be fun.”  
  
Kara was touched that Alex seemed to really want her to come. “Sure. Thanks, Alex.”  
  
***  
  
Kara invited the entire rugby team, plus Winn. It was a beach, after all, there should be plenty of space. After the incident with Morgan, Winn asked if Kara would switch and become his lab partner so he wouldn’t have to work with Siobhan and risk another beating. Kara realized that despite his goofiness he was actually extremely smart. He made her laugh and she enjoyed working with him because he was very engaged in the experiments and often came up with ways to take them even further.  
  
Saturday night at the party Kara was actually having a lot of fun. It was too cold to swim, but people were hanging around a bonfire, listening to music; it was a very relaxed atmosphere. Kara noticed Alex was drinking quite a bit, and that she was mostly staying away from Vicki. She thought it must be hard to be in that situation. Here they were at a party and probably wanted to be together, but had to be careful.  
  
Later she saw Susan a bit away from the fire, with her arm around one of the other ruggers from the team, leaning close, talking and smiling. She looked around at the other kids, but no one seemed to care or notice that two girls were sitting together that way. She felt happy for her, Kara had noticed Susan seemed to have a crush on her team mate and wondered if she would ever do anything about it.  
  
Kara was mostly talking and laughing with friends from her team. Since they were far from artificial lights they could see the sky full of stars. Late in the night, Winn plopped down beside her, clearly he was pretty tipsy.  
  
“Hi Kara.” He said, leaning very close.  
  
“Hi Winn. You feeling OK?”  
  
“Yeah. Well, no. My stomach feels a bit funny.”  
  
“Maybe we should go for a little walk.” Kara could see he was queasy and thought it might help to walk it off.  
  
“Sure.” He said and struggled to get up. Kara gave him a hand and they headed down the beach.  
  
“So, you had a few drinks tonight, huh?” Kara asked.  
  
“Yeah, but I’m fine. I just need to rest.”  
  
“OK, but you might feel better if you walk a bit more. You’ve got a lot in your system.”  
  
Winn and Kara started to head down the beach. After a few steps, he stumbled so Kara grabbed his arm and draped it over her shoulders, then supported his back with her arm. “I got you. Just try to walk it off.”  
  
They walked for a while but he eventually plopped down on the beach. Kara sat beside him and looked up at the stars.  
  
“I’m sorry, Kara. I drank too much. Thanks for your help.”  
  
“No worries, that’s what friends are for.” She turned towards him and as she did, he planted a sloppy kiss on her mouth.  
  
“Winn, what are you doing?!” Kara pushed him back in surprise.  
  
“I…I’m sorry. I thought…” Winn stammered and covered his face.  
  
“I said friends, Winn. We are friends. It’s OK, but I don’t like you that way.” She could tell he was humiliated and didn’t want to make him feel worse.  
  
Just then she heard a huge metallic smashing sound somewhere in the distance. She looked at Winn to see if he heard it, but he was too upset to pay attention. She looked towards the fire to see if others had heard it. She listened carefully and heard some saying there must have been a car wreck.  
  
“That must have been serious, we need to call 911 and see if we can find the accident!” She overheard Alex say.  
  
She immediately began running toward the sound. As she got out of sight she moved into super speed and moments later found a car flipped off the side of the road, upside down against a pole. Looking inside she saw a woman knocked out in the driver’s seat and in the back a toddler screaming and trying to get out of her car seat. She tried the doors but they were damaged in the crash and wouldn’t open normally. She could smell gas leaking so she ripped the back door, opening a tunnel of twisted metal and broken glass and crawling through it. She was confused by the elaborate kid’s seat buckles so she ripped it apart and moved the toddler out of the car as fast as she could. Next she tore open the front door, unbuckled the driver and carried her far from the car, afraid there could be an explosion. As the child continued to scream, the mother groggily woke up and looked around.  
  
“Ma’am, there’s been an accident. You and your baby are safe. Can you hold her? I need to get help.” Kara could see kids from the party coming in the distance.  
  
“Yes, I’ve got her.” The mother said, taking the child.  
  
Just then she could hear sirens wailing, not far off. As the ambulance came in to sight, she decided the best thing she could do was to get away as fast as possible. Alex was going to kill her. She ran unto some nearby bushes and hid. She saw the ambulance arrive on the scene, with a firetruck not far behind. As they began to hose down the car she sped off into the dark, running all the way home.  
  
***  
  
When Alex got in after midnight she pretended to be asleep.  
  
“Kara! Kara, wake up!” Alex was fuming mad.  
  
“What? What happened?” Kara acted like she couldn’t imagine what Alex wanted, but she knew it was pointless.  
  
“Give up the act, Kara. I know it was you. How could you do that? People are completely freaked out that someone ripped the doors of a car and apparently destroyed an indestructible car seat. There’s no way this doesn’t make the news. Maybe even goes national. Kara, how could you put yourself at risk like that? It’s only a matter of time now.”  
  
“What do you mean, a matter of time before what?” Kara asked.  
  
“Before they find you.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Never mind, just, you promised you would be careful!.”  
  
“What else could I do? I heard you say it was a serious accident. It was the middle of the night, far from town. It might have taken too long to get help. Those doors were completely smashed, who knows how long it would have taken to get them open.”  
  
“I know, but it’s just too risky, Kara!”  
  
“Alex, can you honestly tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you could? I saw you running ahead of the pack trying to get to the accident. I know you would have done the same. I know you, Alex. You would have done whatever you could to help.”  
  
Alex looked defeated. “You’re right. I know you’re right, but this could be really bad for us, Kara. We have to tell Mom and Dad what happened.”  
  
“I know. I’m sorry. I never want to put you or your family at risk.”  
  
“We’re your family too, Kara. Don’t forget that.”  
  
Kara got quiet. ‘Thanks for saying that Alex. I can’t explain how much that means to me.”  
  
“I’m not just saying it, Kara. I mean it. We’re family. And as family we have to take care of each other. I’m just trying to protect you.”  
  
“I know. But can I just tell you how good it felt to be able to help? It’s so frustrating to know you could help, but you’re not allowed. I wish I could be like Clark.”  
  
“I’m sorry, you deserve to feel good about it. And at least you were able to get away without being seen. That’s a good thing. Why don’t you get some sleep, we’ll talk to Mom and Dad tomorrow.”  
  
“Thanks, goodnight Alex.”  
  
“Goodnight, Supergirl.”  
  
***  
  
The next day Alex and Kara told Eliza and Jeremiah about the accident. They assured Kara they weren’t upset with her, but they were clearly very worried. They told her she did the right thing, but that she had to avoid using her powers, or they might not be able to protect her and potentially she wouldn’t be able to continue living with them.  
  
“I don’t understand, what could happen?”  
  
“We can’t talk about it, Kara. And the less you know the better.” Eliza said mysteriously. “We know you don’t understand, but you just have to trust that we know what is best. We only want what is in your best interests.”  
  
“I know. I do trust you. And I’m sorry if I’ve put you at any risk.”  
  
“Kara, we know you were only doing what you believe to be right. You have such a strong sense of justice and desire to help. I know it’s hard for you to stand by when you think you can make a difference. Just try to remember that your actions could have consequences that you don’t intend. For all of us”  
  
That night Kara laid awake well past midnight. Her brain was buzzing with the excitement of the weekend and the thought of riding with Lena the next day. Eventually she gave up and decided to go out and walk. It was another beautiful clear night and she found herself wandering over to the ranch to see the horses. She usually didn’t work on Saturday or Sunday and she realized she missed seeing them. As she leaned up against the corral watching them she began to wonder whether the Luthors were back from Metropolis. Eventually her curiosity got the best of her and she decided to walk to their main house and see if there were any signs of them. The mansion was quite a distance, but when she got within sight of it she could see a light on in one of the upstairs windows. Her heart sped up at the thought it could be Lena’s room and she was drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.  
  
As she got nearer to the house she heard sounds coming from the same direction as the light. As she got close she thought it sounded like Lena. like she was in distress. She broke into a run and scrambled up a tree near the window. The noises were getting steadily more intense, and when she reached high enough to see inside suddenly she heard Lena call out.  
  
“Oh, God!” Lena cried.  
  
Kara started to panic as she peered in the window, then froze at what she saw. Lena was laying on the bed with her legs spread and her hand moving rapidly between her them. She was wearing a short, thin camisole and was grinding against her hand.  
  
“Yes, yes, Oh fuck!” Lena said in a husky, moaning voice. She started moving her fingers in and out, trying to push deep inside herself. “Don’t stop, please. Please, fuck me, Kara!”  
  
At that Kara leaned too far out on the branch and it snapped. She fell rapidly to the ground, but somehow managed to slow down just a bit before impact. Still, she landed hard in a shrub with sharp, thick branches with a loud crash.  
  
“What the hell?!” She heard Lena cry from her room. Before Kara could move Lena had thrown open the window and was looking down at her. “Kara? What are you doing here?”  
  
Kara was completely mortified. She wanted to hide, but there was not where to go.  
  
“I…I was just. Well, I was just out walking. I didn’t mean to come here. But I saw a light on and I couldn’t help it. I was just curious if you were back. I wasn’t stalking you. But I heard noises, I thought you might be in trouble! Rao, I’ve done it again!”  
  
“Done what again?”  
  
“I’ve… rushed in on something that was none of my business. I was trying to help, I made a mistake. I’m so sorry, Lena. I’m not a creep. I promise! I didn’t mean to, it was an accident.”  
  
“It’s OK, Kara. I don’t think you’re a creep. I believe you. You might be a bit crazy climbing a tree like that. But I guess you were trying to save me?”  
  
“I really was. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“So, how much did you see? Or hear?”  
  
“Well…I just, I saw you and I froze. Lena, your body is so beautiful. I just couldn’t think. I couldn’t look away. And then I fell out of the tree.”  
  
“Did you hear me say your name?”  
  
Kara hesitated. She didn’t want Lena to be embarrassed, but she didn’t want to lie about it.  
  
“Yes.” She said quietly. “I’m sorry.”  
  
  
“It’s OK, Kara. I’m not embarrassed that I think about you when I touch myself. I told you I find you extremely sexy. Imagining you touching me turns me on.”  
  
_Oh, Rao. _Kara thought to herself. She was also getting extremely turned on. Hearing Lena, seeing her stretched out on the bed, touching herself. Kara could feel herself straining against her pants. She knew she needed to get out of there before she embarrassed herself further.  
  
‘It's really fine, Kara. The saddest part about is that we both missed my big finish.” Lena said with a laugh.  
  
“I’m really sorry.” Kara said. Then almost whispering she said, “I think about you when I’m touching myself too.”. She couldn’t believe she was telling Lena this.  
  
“Hmm…I wonder if I’ll get a chance to see you the way you just saw me.” Lena said, grinning. "I hope so."  
  
Kara started climbing out of the bush. She really needed to get out of there.  
  
“Are you hurt?” Lena asked.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Are you sure? That bush looks very painful.”  
  
“I’m fine. I should get going though. I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”  
  
“Can you climb back up here?”  
  
Kara stood and climbed intentionally slowly back up the tree until she was near her window again.  
  
“Hi.” Lena said with a satisfied smile.  
  
“Hi.” Kara said.  
  
“How was your weekend?”  
  
“Um, it was fun.”  
  
“It was? What did you do?”  
  
Kara thought about the accident. She felt good about being able to help, but knew she couldn't talk about it. “Well, there was a party on the beach.” Kara said.  
  
“Hmm, that does sound like fun.”  
  
“It was. It was a beautiful night, sky full of stars, bonfire, music.”  
  
“Sounds very romantic. Did you find someone to cuddle with by the fire?” Lena asked, sounding a little jealous.  
  
“What do you mean by ‘cuddle’?” Kara looked confused.  
  
Lena laughed as she leaned against the window frame. “It’s sort of like hugging, putting your arms around someone.”  
  
“Oh, well, I guess I did do that, but we were walking along the beach, not by the fire.”  
  
“Oh?” Now she really did sound jealous.  
  
“Yes. And then he kissed me.”  
  
“Oh.” Lena got quiet.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Kara was even more confused. Lena’s face had gone from playful to crestfallen.  
  
“Nothing. I just, I just realized I was making some assumptions without even realizing it. That’s never a good idea.”  
  
“Assumptions about what?”  
  
“Assumptions about us.”  
  
“What assumptions about us?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter, Kara. I’m tired. I really need to get to bed.”  
  
“OK, I’m sorry for keeping you up. But won’t you tell me why you were happy one minute and the next minute you’re sad?” Once again she could see she had done something wrong without realizing.  
  
“I don’t know, when you told me you kissed someone this weekend I felt very jealous. And I don’t do jealous. I hate that feeling. It makes me feel out of control and I don't like that one bit.”  
  
Kara just looked miserable and confused, with no idea what to say to make things better.  
  
“I shouldn’t feel so surprised. We never even talked about it. We’ve hardly even kissed ourselves.” Lena said sadly.  
  
“Talked about what?”  
  
“Talked about whether or not we are hanging out with other people.”  
  
“Why wouldn’t we hang out with other people?” Kara was getting increasingly confused.  
  
“Sorry, I need to be more literal. I mean, I guess I didn’t expect you to be kissing someone else on Saturday after kissing me on Thursday.”  
  
“I wasn’t kissing anyone else! What are you talking about?”  
  
“Kara, you just told me you kissed someone yesterday while walking along the beach with your arms around each other. I just, I didn’t expect that. And it made me realize how much I hate thinking of you kissing anyone else.’  
  
“Lena, he kissed me! I didn’t kiss him.”  
  
“You were walking arm-in-arm along the beach. It sounds very romantic whether you were kissing him back or not.”  
  
“I was just helping him walk! He was very drunk and I thought it would help get the alcohol out of his system. And then suddenly he kissed me. I was surprised, too!”  
  
Lena looked unconvinced. “Kara, let’s talk more later. It’s been an exhausting weekend. I need to sleep and get my head on straight.”  
  
“Lena, please don’t be sad. I wasn’t kissing anyone yesterday. How could I kiss someone else? I don’t want to kiss anyone else. I don’t want to cuddle anyone else. I’ve been dreaming about kissing you again all weekend.” Kara said sincerely.  
  
Lena looked her in the eye. “Kara, you’re so green. You have so much ahead of you. This is not the time in your life to be deciding that you only want to kiss one person. This is a good time to be exploring.”  
  
“Exploring what?” Kara asked.  
  
“Exploring kissing and more. Exploring how you feel being with girls and boys.”  
  
“Lena, please don’t tell me to explore. You’re the only one I want. All I could think about this weekend was seeing you again.”  
  
Lena looked into Kara’s eyes. She seemed resolved about something.  
  
‘OK, Kara. I don’t know why, but it’s hard not to believe you when I look in your eyes. Do you ever lie?”  
  
Kara gulped. She felt like she lied every day, just by walking around as if she was a human.  
  
“I hate lying.” She said dejectedly.  
  
Lena looked at her with soft eyes. “You know, I’m all healed up now.” She said, dragging her fingers seductively over her lips.  
  
Kara gazed longingly as Lena caressed her lips.  
  
“How about a kiss goodnight?” Lena began leaning out the window.  
  
Kara leaned forward on her branch, careful not to go too far this time. The last thing she needed was to fall again and remind Lena of what a klutz she was.  
  
Their lips met in an open kiss, but they both felt off balance and pulled back to avoid falling.  
  
“Mmmm. I’ve missed those lips.” Lena said. She licked her lips as if she could taste Kara on them.  
  
“Me too.” Kara was mesmerized watching Lena’s tongue move over her lips.  
  
“So, are we still riding tomorrow?” Kara asked.  
  
“We can do anything you want tomorrow.” Lena said in a low voice.  
  
Kara felt her cock straining again. She knew she had to get out of there.  
  
“Until then. Sweet dreams, Lena.”  
  
“Definitely.” Lena said with a mischievous smile.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Vasquez deserves a girlfriend!


	10. Fly Me To The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, I'm changing the rating to E. It's not really clear to me where this line is, so better to err on the side of the higher rating.

Kara jogged home, feeling confused but relieved that they had been able to sort out whatever she had done wrong. Again. She knew she’d inadvertently made Lena feel insecure. She marveled that she was able to make someone like Lena feel that way. And she clearly was not at all happy about the feeling.  
  
She suddenly remembered the feeling she had just before she hit the ground after falling out of the tree. She could tell that she managed to slow her falling speed just a bit, somehow in mid-air, without touching anything. It wasn’t enough to stop her fall, but it felt like something new, something she hadn’t felt before. Almost like floating. She decided to see if she could do it again, so she began running hard and leaping as high as she could into the air, then trying to slow her descent. She found that she could get surprisingly high, but somehow she couldn’t repeat the feeling of slowing before landing on the ground.  
  
After arriving on Earth she had begged Clark to help her learn to fly. He had gotten angry with her and demanded that she drop the idea. He wanted her to be as normal as possible, for as long as possible. Flying definitely did not help her reach that goal. Flying was the last thing she should be doing. Still, she dreamed of being able to fly above it all, to escape all the noise and confusion for a while. To be able to look out over the Earth from a distance. She thought it must be like a whole other world up there.  
  
By the time she made it home she was actually tired from all her running and jumping and managed to crawl into bed without waking Alex. That night she dreamed of Lena, seeing so much of her skin, her breasts straining against the thin material of the camisole as she leaned out the window. She dreamed of Lena’s mouth and tongue as she was licking her lips. She woke up before dawn and realized she was completely hard, with her hand around her cock. She looked over at Alex, who, fortunately, was sound asleep. She couldn’t face the day in this condition so she snuck out to the shower.  
  
In the shower she turned up the water as hot and high as it would go. She braced herself against the shower wall with one arm above her head and used her other hand to rub soap up and down her cock. It felt so good to be able to touch herself and get some relief. Images of Lena came to her mind. Usually she would feel guilty about that, but now she understood that Lena liked the idea of her thinking of Lena, even the idea of watching Kara masturbate. She wasn’t embarrassed about thinking of Kara, why should Kara feel embarrassed thinking about her? Thinking of Lena with her legs spread open on her bed got her so excited; she began rubbing faster up and down as she imagined herself climbing onto the bed with her, imaging Lena looking at her cock with hunger as she moved closer. Suddenly she could hear Lena’s voice in her mind saying, “Please, fuck me, Kara!”  
  
At that thought she came hard against the wall of the shower and watched as spurt after spurt jerking out of the tip of her cock. She was a bit amazed at the sight, and it felt so good that she just leaned against the wall, rubbing herself and breathing hard as she recovered. Suddenly she heard movements in the hall and realized she needed to hurry in case Alex wanted to get into the bathroom. She took down the removable shower head and sprayed all over the wall and floor until she was sure it was clean. She didn’t feel bad about her thoughts of Lena anymore, but she did feel awkward about using the shower this way. Still, she had no other privacy and was so pent up from her nighttime adventures, she didn’t know what else to do.  
  
***  
  
Knowing she would ride with Lena after school made the day pass slowly. When she got to chemistry class she saw Winn with his head down on their lab table, ears red, clearly wishing he could disappear. Kara sat down next to him.  
  
“Winn, sit up, please.” He covered his head with his hands. “Winn, it’s really OK. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just misunderstood. Now you know. We’re just friends, and we’re only ever going to be friends. But we’re going to be very good friends. And that is a great thing to be, too.”  
  
Winn peeked out from his hands. “I’m really sorry. I feel like an idiot.”  
  
“There’s nothing to forgive, Winn. Let’s move on. I think we’re doing a pretty cool experiment in lab today.”  
  
Winn grinned at the thought and began rambling about his plans for making it even more interesting. Kara smiled back, happy that they could go back to having fun together.  
  
Later in class Winn asked her about the night of the party.  
  
"Kara, did you see the accident on Saturday? I heard the car doors were demolished and baby seat shredded! Who could have done that? I think it must have been an alien."  
  
"I...I'm not sure. Whoever it was, I'm sure they were only trying to help."  
  
"Probably. It's just amazing to think there's an alien living here in Midvale and we don't even know it! It could even be someone we know! Can you imagine? I'd love to meet an alien, that would be the coolest thing ever.  
  
"You're not afraid?"  
  
"No, I mean, sure, a little bit. But that would be amazing! I wonder what they look like, if they change their looks or just look like us. What kind of powers do they have? Obviously they are very strong, but what else? What planet do they come from? How did they get here? It's fascinating."  
  
"Hmm...I never thought of it that way."  
  
***  
  
Throughout the day her thoughts kept returning to the vision of the night before. She thought about Lena on her bed and tried to remember how she had moved her hand, how fast and where she was rubbing. Kara wanted to know what she did to herself that made her feel good. She wanted to make Lena feel good like that. She wanted to be the one to make her moan and cry out in pleasure. But she had no experience. Lena seemed so experienced, how would she be able to please her? The thought made her nervous, but excited. She really wanted to try. If Lena would be patient and help her learn, Kara knew she could make her feel good. That’s all she wanted to do.  
  
Rugby season had ended for the year, so Kara got to the ranch early and began working fast as possible to get as much done as she could before Lena arrived. She didn’t feel nervous about whether or not Lena would come. She knew that if she didn’t come that it would be disappointing, but there would be a reason for it. When Lena showed up Kara was working away in the barn moving hay bales and didn’t hear her walk in.  
  
‘Oh my God, you really are strong, aren’t you?” Lena said with amazement.  
  
Kara quickly dropped the bale she was moving, realizing she’d been caught moving them without pretending to struggle.  
  
“Oh, yeah, well. You know, I work out.’  
  
Lena walked over to Kara and reached out, sliding her fingers slowly up and down Kara’s arm. She slid her fingers around Kara's bicep and squeezed.  
  
“Damn.” She said as she breathed out heavily.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Kara was nervous about getting caught using her strength.  
  
“That’s hot.” Lena said.  
  
“What’s hot?” Kara asked.  
  
“You. You’re hot.”  
  
“Yes, I’m, I’m two degrees warmer than hum--, I mean, other people.”  
  
“No, Kara, I don’t mean you feel warm, I mean you’re sexy. I love how strong you are.”  
  
Just then Cisco walked into the barn. Lena quickly dropped her hand and stepped back from Kara.  
  
“So, ready to ride?” Lena asked.  
  
“Yes! Cisco, I’ve moved almost all the bales and---“  
  
“Kara, go on, you’ve done enough, take a break.” Cisco said with a smile.  
  
Kara and Lena looked at each other, smiles spreading across their faces, then rushed to their horses and headed out.  
  
***  
  
They chose a slow trail through the forest. It was a chilly, beautiful day.  
  
“So, you made it home OK last night?” Lena asked.  
  
“Yes. It was no trouble. I’m really sorry I disturbed you.”  
  
“You disturbed me in a good way, Kara. Obviously I was thinking about you.” Lena smirked.  
  
“It must have been quite a shock.”  
  
“Yes, but I like your surprises - you are full of them!” She laughed.  
  
“I know. I try so hard to be normal, but it never works out.”  
  
“What’s normal?”  
  
“Don’t ask me. I never seem to do it right.”  
  
Lena laughed. “Normal is boring. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”  
  
“You like me so much?”  
  
“Yes, I do. That became painfully obvious to me last night when I thought you were macking on some pubescent boy on the beach.”  
  
“Will you repeat that please?”  
  
Lena laughed again. “Kara, it’s just that you made me feel jealous.”  
  
“I didn’t mean to do that, Lena. I didn’t want to kiss that boy.”  
  
“I know, Kara. I believe you. It’s hard to look into your eyes and doubt you.”  
  
They were riding single file on a narrow trail, so Kara couldn’t see Lena’s face. But she could hear sincerity in her voice.  
  
“Lena, I don’t really understand why you like someone like me. You’re so beautiful and smart. You have everything you could ever want. I’m a weird girl with a… with…with, well, a penis! I’m a ranch hand and I don’t have a complete understanding of the basic lexicon.”  
  
“Kara, the fact that you know the word ‘lexicon’ but not the double meaning of the word ‘hot’ is amazing. You’re different than everyone else. You’re special. Interesting.”  
  
‘I know I’m different than everyone else.” Kara said glumly.  
  
“If you’re worried about being different biologically, well, obviously, I’m into your different biology, so you don’t have to worry about that with me.”  
  
“I’m different in…in every way.’  
  
“OK, well, I want to know about your differences. I want to learn more about you.”  
  
“Lena. I just, well, I’m a kind of a private person. I….I, can we talk about you?”  
  
“OK, message received, Kara.”  
  
Lena got quiet and they rode until they got to a clearing in the forest and slowed down.  
  
“Are you thirsty? I brought some water.” Kara asked.  
  
“I’m definitely thirsty.” Lena said, laughing.  
  
“What’s so funny?” Kara asked, wondering if she had unwittingly said something embarrassing.  
  
“Well, ‘thirsty’ is another word that has a double meaning.”  
  
“Uh-oh. What else does it mean?”  
  
“Well….horny. Wait, that probably doesn’t work either. It means I want you. Sexually.”  
  
Kara got a sly smile on her face. “It’s surprising how many words have sexual connotations that I don’t know. I have a lot to learn.”  
  
"Maybe I can help teach you." Lena said softly.  
  
"I'd like that."  
  
They dismounted and Kara pulled a blanket and water out of her saddlebag and spread the blanket out on the ground.  
  
Lena sat down on the blanket and waited. Kara scooched next to her.  
  
“Hi.” Kara said shyly.  
  
“Hi.” Lena smiled.  
  
Kara reached over and took Lena’s hand.  
  
“I woke up this morning, thinking about you.” Kara said, caressing Lena’s hand.  
  
“Oh? Do tell.” Lena said playfully.  
  
“Yes.’  
  
‘What were you thinking about?”  
  
“I thought of you. On the bed, touching yourself. Saying my name.”  
  
“I remember that, too. After you left I thought about you watching me through the window.”  
  
Kara stopped caressing Lena’s hand and shifted to face her, moving her hands to the ground so she could lift herself up towards Lena and hover over her. As Kara moved in to kiss her, Lena pushed Kara back down to the ground.  
  
“Wait! I don’t want to take any chances of injury this time.”  
  
She pushed Kara till she was sitting again and leaned in and took Kara’s lips in hers. Kara responded eagerly, opening her mouth to Lena's lips. She slid her tongue across Lena bottom lip, tasting her and taking as much of her into her mouth as she could. Before long they were both gasping for air but not wanting to stop. Lena moved to get a better angle. She moved her leg over Kara’s so that she was straddling her.  
  
“Kara, put your hands on me.”  
  
Kara put her hands on Lena’s hips, supporting her as she settled into onto lap. Kara groaned to feel Lena’s weight on her and could feel herself getting hard at the feeling of her closeness. She knew she needed to slow down, but her body didn’t want to. She moved her hands over Lena’s ass and pulled her down further onto her lap. All she could think of was how to get closer. She could feel Lena’s warmth rubbing against her cock and it was all she could do to keep from cumming. Lena put her hands on Kara’s shoulders and began to grind her hips down.  
  
“God, Kara, you feel so good.”  
  
‘Lena, I, ahh.” She was having trouble forming words.  
  
"I want to touch you, Kara. Is that OK? I can feel you're getting hard.” Lena slid her fingers into the top of Kara’s jeans, starting to unbutton them.  
  
Even through her jeans, Kara could tell she was getting too excited. She needed to stop, she didn’t want to embarrass herself by cumming so quickly.  
  
“Wait, Lena, I’m not ready. I mean, I’m very ready, I just, I don’t want to disappoint you. I’m too excited.”  
  
“It’s OK, Kara. It’s OK to be excited. Let me help you.” Lena continued trying to unbuttton her jeans.  
  
Kara panicked and grabbed her hands. “Wait, Lena, please.” Lena immediately stopped and sat back on her heels.  
  
“What is it?’ she asked, looking very confused.  
  
“It’s just, I just…I need more time.”  
  
‘OK, OK. It’s fine, we can move at whatever pace you want, remember?”  
  
“I’m sorry.” Kara said, feeling disappointed in herself. “Thanks for understanding.”  
  
“Hey, there’s no need to apologize. We’re not going to do something you’re not ready for.” Lena climbed off her lap and began to stand up.  
  
“Wait!” Kara caught her by the hand. “Can I have another kiss?”  
  
“You can have anything you want.” Lena said in her low voice. She leaned down to catch her lips again. Soon they were into another deep open-mouthed kiss and breathing heavily.  
  
Lena stopped and pushed Kara back a bit. “Kara, if you really do want to stop, this isn’t the right approach. Your mouth makes me want to drop my panties. And that’s not a saying, I mean that literally.”  
  
Kara gulped at the thought of Lena’s panties. She knew she needed to stop, even though her body was protesting the decision.  
  
“OK, I guess we better head back. If we stay here I’m not going to be able to think about anything but kissing you.” Kara eased herself to stand up, not relishing the idea of another ride back with a hard-on. But she didn’t want her first time with Lena to be like she was a school boy with no control. To her the most important thing was making Lena feel good, not just getting what she wanted out of it. She knew she wanted more, but she wanted the timing to be right.  
  
They rode slowly, neither really wanting to go back and say goodnight.  
  
“Kara, how is your training coming?”  
  
“My training?”  
  
“When I got here for break I remember you were running jumps in the arena.”  
  
“Yeah, I wasn’t really training, just practicing some jumps for fun.”  
  
“You were good.”  
  
“Thanks. I haven’t been doing it much lately. I’ve been a bit distracted. By you.” Kara laughed.  
  
“Well, if you ever want to get back to it, I could work with you.”  
  
“Really? That would be…amazing!”  
  
“I used to compete quite a bit when I was younger.”  
  
“Wow! I’d love for you to teach me.” Kara said.  
  
“There’s a lot I could teach you, Kara.”  
  
“I know. There’s so much I want to learn.”  
  
“Something tells me you’re a fast learner.” Lena said with a smirk.  
  
When they got back to the corral, Lena and Kara walked their horses into the barn.  
  
‘Will I see you tomorrow?” Kara asked.  
  
“Yes. I’ll be here tomorrow.” Lena walked around her horse and cupped Kara’s cheek. She kissed her softly. “I’ll dream of you tonight.”  
  
“I miss you already, Lena.” Kara said, she lifted Lena’s hand to her lips and kissed it.  
  
Lena fanned her face with her other hand. “You do say the sweetest things.”


	11. Baby, I Got Your Number

The next day Kara arrived at the ranch and worked through her chores as quickly as she could. She was in the barn when she heard Lena’s voice. She finished up what she was doing and hurried out to see her. Before she made it out she heard a low booming voice responding. _Lionel. _Her heart sunk as she realized she wouldn’t be riding with Lena. She told herself to be very careful with her interactions, the last thing she wanted to do was let on to Lionel and cause them to leave the ranch before break was over.  
  
Rather than rush out to see Lena she went and started getting their horses ready. Cisco heard them as well and came to help.  
  
“Going riding today?” He asked.  
  
“No. Cisco, please don’t say anything to let Lionel know I went riding with Lena. I don’t think he would approve.”  
  
“OK, mum’s the word, boss.” He said with a grin.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I won’t say anything.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
She went to the corral with Lena’s horse and kept her eyes down. Lena took the reins from her.  
  
“Thank you.” Lena said, also being careful not to give anything away.  
  
‘My pleasure.” Kara said and headed back the barn. It was hard being so close to Lena and not being able to talk to or touch her.  
  
She finished the rest of her chores and then looked for other things to help with while waiting for their return. Soon she could hear them coming over the fields and went to take the horses. Lena thanked her again and she headed for the barn with Lena's horse. Once she got inside the barn she could hear Lena talking.  
  
“Father, I left something on my saddle, I’ll be right back.”  
  
Kara turned and saw Lena coming quickly into the barn. Kara was on the other side of the big barn door, just out of sight of Cisco and Lionel. Lena rushed at her, pushing Kara back against the horse, fisting the front of her shirt as if she would try to escape, and moved into a deep kiss. Only moments later she pulled away.  
  
“Sorry, Father decided to ride last minute!”  
  
She slid a piece of paper into the front pocket of Kara’s plaid flannel shirt. “Call me tonight after 10. You do have a phone at your house, don’t you?” She said in a teasing voice as she hurried out to the corral.  
  
“Yes…” Kara was a bit stunned, but walked around the door of the barn and watched them go. Before Lena was out of sight she glanced back and winked at Kara. After they disappeared, Kara pulled the paper out from her pocket and tried to read the hastily scribbled numbers. She didn't get to ride, but at least she got a kiss.  
  
***  
  
That night at dinner and afterwards Kara waited patiently to call Lena. Alex was still out at 10:00, so she took the cordless phone from the Danvers landline and snuck it to her room. She’d only used it once before, but remembered the procedure. She waited anxiously as the phone rang and rang until Lena finally picked it up.  
  
“Hello?” Lena asked.  
  
“Hi.” Kara said softly.  
  
“Hi, Kara.” Lena said, she sounded surprised that Kara had managed to operate a phone.  
  
“I’m calling.’ Kara said.  
  
‘So I noticed.” Lena said, giggling.  
  
“I missed riding with you today.”  
  
“Me, too, I tried to discourage Father from joining, but he’s heading out of town tomorrow and really wanted to get out.”  
  
“Can we ride tomorrow since he’s leaving?”  
  
“No, that’s why I wanted to talk. He’s taking me with him to the city for a few days. He’s starting to teach me the business. It seems now that Lex has other interests he’s trying to pull me in.”  
  
“How long will you be away?” Kara asked.  
  
“Just a few days. I’ll be back by Saturday. Are you working this weekend?”  
  
“I don’t usually work on the weekends, but if you want to ride I can come in.”  
  
“Hmmm, well if you weren’t planning to work maybe I should take you out somewhere.” Lena said in her teasing voice.  
  
“Take me out somewhere?” Kara asked, sounding confused.  
  
“Yes. Like on a date.”  
  
“Oh!” Kara said, sounding surprised.  
  
“Yes. Definitely. I want to take you out on a date.”  
  
“OK.” Kara said, smiling to herself.  
  
“Great. We’re going out. I’ll pick you up at your place. How about 6:00?”  
  
“Sure, sounds great! I can’t wait to see you.” Kara felt like she was on a rollercoaster, one minute realizing she wouldn’t see Lena for days and the next excited about going on her first date.  
  
“Where are you now?” Lena asked.  
  
“I’m in my bedroom.”  
  
“Is your sister there?”  
  
“No, I think she must be over at her girlfriend’s house.”  
  
“Oh. So you’re all alone?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“In that case, what are you wearing?”  
  
“What do you mean?” Kara asked, confused.  
  
“What clothes are you wearing?”  
  
“Um, just a T-shirt and boxers. I’m ready for bed.” Kara was confused about why Lena would ask about that.  
  
“What kind of T-shirt are you wearing?”  
  
“Well, it’s a blue shirt with a Superman symbol.” Kara was embarrassed, but she wanted to tell the truth whenever she was allowed. She liked wearing the symbol sometimes, it made her feel closer to her family.  
  
“Superman! Do you like Superman?” Lena was clearly enjoying the thought of Kara in a Superman T-shirt.  
  
“Well, sure. I mean, who doesn’t like Superman?”  
  
“Right. Well, I guess there are some who don’t.” Lena sounded not so happy anymore. “Actually my brother Lex is one.”  
  
“What? Why?” Kara asked, shocked.  
  
“I think it gets back to his thinking about outsiders. He seems to hate the thought of foreigners and aliens. I think he’s afraid of the idea that aliens are so much stronger than humans.”  
  
“But Superman is good. He only tries to help humans! Any way he can.”  
  
“Yes, I think that’s always been the case. But what happens if he changes his mind? What if he turns against humans? You never really know.”  
  
“But, don’t you have to judge him on what he actually does, not on what he could do?” Kara’s sense of justice was flaring up, she didn’t like what Lena was implying.  
  
“Yes, of course. You’re right. We have to judge people based on what they do and say, not on what they are capable of doing. Fear only serves to divide us. We need to trust each other. Try to remove divisions, not build them.”  
  
“I’m glad to hear you say that.” Kara said, feeling more calm.  
  
“That’s not really what I wanted to talk about though.” Lena said.  
  
“No? What did you want to talk about?”  
  
“Let’s get back to your p.j.s. What do your boxers look like? Are they fitted or loose?”  
  
“Fitted, why do you ask?” Kara asked innocently.  
  
“Hmmm. I’m enjoying the mental image of you in tight shorts. I’ve never seen you in anything but jeans. Not that I don’t love seeing you in those jeans.” Lena said with a smile in her voice.  
  
Kara laughed to herself, picturing Lena’s smile.  
  
“Well, what are you wearing?” Suddenly she realized this was an interesting game.  
  
“Oh, just a camisole. You might remember it, I had it on the other night when you came over.”  
  
Kara gulped at the thought of Lena spread out on her bed, a thin camisole barely covering her body.  
  
“Oh, wow.” Kara said, a bit in awe.  
  
‘Too bad you don’t have a smart phone. I could send you a picture.”  
  
“Really?” Kara’s mouth went completely dry at the thought of having a picture of Lena in her camisole.  
  
“Sure. But only if you send one for me as well.” Lena said. “What are you thinking about now?”  
  
“Umm, well, I was just thinking about when I saw you in that camisole.”  
  
“Oh? And what was I doing?”  
  
“Touching yourself. Calling my name.” Kara whispered. “You looked so beautiful; I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”  
  
“Oh, right. I remember.” Lena, still with her teasing voice. “Did you think of me later that night? Did you touch yourself?”  
  
“Yes, Lena. I woke up that morning imagining you on your bed.”  
  
“Really? And what did you do about it?”  
  
“Well, when I woke up I was so hard, I had to do something. I snuck into the shower…” Kara stopped, she was embarrassed to say more.  
  
“Mmmm. I wish I could have been there. I wish I could be there now.”  
  
“Me too.”  
  
“Are you getting hard thinking about me?”  
  
“Yes.” Kara had been trying to keep her hands still as she watched the bulge in her boxers steadily growing at the thought of Lena in her camisole, asking her about her boxers.  
  
“God, if I was there I would make you feel so good.”  
  
“You are making me feel good, Lena.”  
  
“I could make you feel so much better. I know you’re struggling now, I can hear it in your voice.”  
  
“Yes. I want you so much, Lena. I wish I could see you.”  
  
“Kara, I want you to touch yourself right now.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I want you to slide your hand inside your boxers and feel your cock.”  
  
“Oh, Rao.” Kara said with a groan.  
  
“Do it, Kara.”  
  
“I can’t…I…, just a minute.” Kara went and locked the door. Alex could be back any minute, but she found she couldn’t say no to Lena. She didn’t want to.  
  
“Kara?”  
  
“Yes, I’m here.”  
  
“I want you to feel your cock. I want you to imagine it’s my hand.”  
  
“Oh, fuck.” Kara said as she slid her hand inside her boxers, almost as if it was against her will.  
  
“Kara, can you feel that? Can you feel my hand around your cock?”  
  
“Yes, yes, I can feel it. Feels so good.” Kara stuttered. “I want to feel you, too, Lena.”  
  
“Oh, I can feel you sliding your hand inside my panties right now.” Lena said. “Aaah, oh God, that feels so good. Your fingers feel so good, Kara. Now I’m sliding my hand up and down your cock. God, you’re so hard.”  
  
Kara began squeezing her cock, moving steadily up and down. She had her eyes closed, imagining it was Lena’s hand. She felt pre-cum leaking from her tip and used it to make her movements faster and smoother.  
  
“Lena, that feels so good. I’m so hard. I wish I could feel you….”  
  
“You’re touching me now, Kara. God, I’m so wet for you. Can you feel that? I’m so slick and hot. I can feel your hand moving over my clit. Please, I want you inside me. Ahhh.” Kara could hear Lena moaning, her breathing becoming very fast.  
  
“Rao, Lena, you feel so good.” Kara began to move faster, knowing she was going to cum soon but not wanting to slow down. She thought about touching Lena, feeling her clit and moving her cock in between her legs.  
  
“Kara, can you feel me? I want you to fuck me. Please, Kara, I want you inside me.”  
  
“Yes, yes, Lena, I want to be inside you. Oh, please, I want to feel you around my cock.”  
  
“I can feel you, I can feel you moving inside me. God, don’t stop, fuck me hard.” Lena started repeating a high pitched “ah” sound. Kara could tell by the sounds that Lena was close.  
  
“God, I’m cumming, Kara!” Lena cried out as she came. After hearing Lena fall apart with a beautiful cry of her name, Kara lost control and began jerking her cock up and down faster until she came inside her boxers. Suddenly she heard someone trying the doorknob.  
  
“Kara, are you in there? Why’s the door locked? What’s going on?” Alex banged hard on the door.  
  
“Lena, I have to go, Alex is here!”  
  
“Goodnight, Kara. Sweet dreams.”  
  
Kara hung up and grabbed a towel. She held it in front of herself as she dashed to the door. She yanked it open and rushed past Alex to the bathroom. She jumped in the shower and turned the water on cold. When she got back to the room Alex was already in bed with the lights off. She quickly changed her boxers and slid into bed.  
  
“Alex, I’m so sorry! I just…”  
  
“Kara, it’s OK. Sorry for walking in on you. Let’s just…never speak of this again.”  
  
“OK, yes, never. Please. Thank you.” Kara said in a rush.  
  
“I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong…it’s just…” Alex said.  
  
“I know, Alex, Eliza told me there's nothing wrong with it. Can we go back to the idea of never speaking of this again?”  
  
“Absolutely.” Alex said, relieved.  
  
Kara starred at the ceiling for a long time, too excited and stimulated to get to sleep.  
  
“Alex, are you awake?” She whispered.  
  
“Yes.” Alex said, grumpily.  
  
“I’m going on a date with Lena.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes, she’s ‘taking me out’ on Saturday.”  
  
“I’m really happy for you, Kara. Your first date. Where will you go?”  
  
“Oh. I didn’t ask, I’ve no idea. I don’t care, really.”  
  
“Well, sounds like she enjoys spending time with you or she wouldn’t ask. That’s really nice, Kara.”  
  
“Thanks. And thanks for listening. I really just wanted to tell someone. Maybe we could go on a double date sometime.”  
  
“Ha, not likely! Vicki still doesn’t want anyone to know. She’s afraid it will get back to her parents.”  
  
“Lena doesn’t want her parents to know either. Not because they think it’s morally wrong, although they might. Lena is worried that they'll leave the ranch before the end of break if they find out she’s spending time with a ranch hand. I guess that happened a couple years back.”  
  
“Wow, that’s a bummer. I guess you just have to be smart and careful. It’s only a few weeks anyway.”  
  
“Yeah.” Now Kara was sounding down.  
  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to burst your bubble. You’re going to have a great time on your date! Just concentrate on enjoying the time you have together.”  
  
“OK. Goodnight, Alex.”  
  
“Goodnight, Kara. Sleep well.”__


	12. Here I Am

Kara struggled through the rest of the week. Classes were still easy, but without rugby and not getting to see Lena, the week passed slowly. She was able to get in some more jumping practice now that she wasn’t taking time to ride with Lena.  
  
On Saturday she had a lot of fun helping Eliza put in a new garden in the backyard. Since it wasn’t visible from the road she was able to use more of her strength, moving big pieces of lumber, digging deep garden beds, and chopping sharp, sticky brush and carrying it without a scratch. It felt exhilarating to be able to just do something, not to hold back and pretend. And Eliza was thrilled, she was able to get done in one day what should have taken several weekends of work. It felt so good to Kara to be able to help her for a change.  
  
Before 6:00 that evening she was waiting patiently in the driveway for Lena to arrive, but Alex spotted her and called her inside.  
  
“Kara, get in here! Don’t stand in the driveway, it makes you look desperate.” Alex advised. Kara quickly came inside.  
  
“I’m not desperate, I just can’t wait to see her.”  
  
“Just try to be a little bit smooth. She is a sophisticated girl.”  
  
“What do you mean by smooth?” Kara asked.  
  
“Well, just more cool and laid back. Like this isn’t so important to you. Not like you don’t care, but just don’t be so obvious. You looked like a puppy dog out there.”  
  
“Any other advice, big sis?”  
  
“Well, maybe try to compliment her? Women love that shit.” Alex laughed at her own joke, then realized Kara probably didn’t get it.  
  
“That was just a joke, Kara. Actually it’s a movie reference, but I’m sure you haven’t seen it. YET. But, anyway, everyone enjoys being complimented. Just be genuine, tell her what comes to your mind. You don’t need to make anything up, I’m sure. Just don’t go too overboard. That’s what I mean about being cool. You don’t want to go too far and make it awkward.”  
  
“Thanks, Alex, I appreciate your advice.” Kara was even more confused, but it meant a lot to her that Alex wanted to help. Previously Alex would have been telling her to just stay away from Lena.  
  
Just then they heard a honk from the driveway. They rushed to the window and looked out.  
  
“Wow, that is a Tesla Model S! Nice ride.” Alex said, impressed.  
  
“I’ve got to go, thanks again!” She gave Alex a quick hug.  
  
“Have fun!”  
  
As she rushed toward the door Eliza called after her. “Kara!”  
  
“Yes?” She said, anxious to get to Lena.  
  
“She’s not coming to the door?”  
  
“Umm, I think we’re in a hurry?”  
  
“Tell her next time I’d like her to come in and say ‘hi’.”  
  
“OK, sure, can I go now?”  
  
“Yes, have a nice night. Don’t stay out too late.”  
  
“OK, thanks Eliza!”  
  
Kara dashed out the front door and jumped into the passenger seat.  
  
“Hi!” Lena grinned at her like a Cheshire cat.  
  
“Hi!” Kara grinned back, thrilled to see her smile again.  
  
“Let’s get out of here!”  
  
Lena threw it into gear and zipped out of the driveway, making a sharp turn at the end of the drive and moving fast toward the state highway.  
  
“Damn.” Kara said.  
  
“What’s wrong?” asked Lena.  
  
“You’re hot.” Kara replied.  
  
“Ha! Where did you get that line?”  
  
“From you. But I mean it, you’re very sexy, Lena. The way you drive this car, you seem so powerful. And I’ve never seen you in a skirt. You look beautiful.”  
  
“Thank you.” Lena said, clearly pleased Kara had noticed her outfit.  
  
Kara moved her hand across the console onto Lena’s thigh. Her skirt was short, so she was touching more skin than material.  
  
“Oh no, don’t do that or we’ll never make it to dinner. And I want to take you on an actual date.”  
  
Kara smiled and retrieved her hand. “This is my first date.” She said quietly, wondering if Lena would laugh.  
  
“I thought it might be. I mean, I’m sure plenty of people would love to go out with you. But you do seem rather inexperienced. I’m sorry, I don’t mean it in a negative way.  
  
“It’s don’t mind. I’m glad my first date is with you.”  
  
“Honestly, it’s very refreshing for me to spend time with someone like you. At school everyone is so jaded and bored.”  
  
“I can’t imagine anyone being bored around you.”  
  
‘Well, I’m not sure you’ll be impressed with my dinner plans. I’m taking us to a diner on the outside of town. I’d love to take you to a nice place, there’s actually a 4-star place just 20 minutes away from here. But they know me there. I just want us to be able to relax and talk without worrying about running into someone who knows my parents.”  
  
“I don’t care where we go. I just want to spend time with you. I missed you this week.”  
  
“Kara…” Lena let out a big sigh and seemed hesitant to respond.  
  
“Uh-oh. Did I say something wrong again?”  
  
“No. Not at all. I missed you, too. It's just that, sometimes I worry that I like you too much.”  
  
“How can you like someone too much?”  
  
“Well, it just makes me think about how it will be when I go back to school.”  
  
“I think about that, too. Alex told me I should just concentrate on enjoying the time we have.”  
  
“She sounds like a wise woman. That’s exactly what we’re going to do.”  
  
When they pulled up to the diner Lena seemed reluctant to go in. “Well, this will be funny, I’m going to stand out like a sore thumb.” In addition to her short skirt she wore a very red, very expensive-looking low cut blouse.  
  
“I knew it wasn’t the right outfit for the diner, but I wanted to look nice for you. You’ve never seen me in anything but riding pants.”  
  
“And a camisole.” Kara said with a shy smile. “Don’t forget about that. I know I never will.”  
  
“Ha, how could I forget?”  
  
“Don’t feel embarrassed, you look incredible, Lena.”  
  
“Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”  
  
“I wanted to dress up more, but I don’t really have dress clothes yet. I haven’t needed them I guess. And Alex and I aren’t really the same size. So I wore my best jeans and T-shirt and Alex gave me this jacket.  
  
“You look good, Kara. It’s definitely working for me.” She said, her mischievous grin back.  
  
“Damn hot?” Kara asked.  
  
“Exactly. Let’s go.”  
  
Inside the diner a waitress called to them, “Sit anywhere you like, ladies.”  
  
They took a booth by the window, as far as they could get from other patrons.  
  
“I have to admit, I love this place. It’s so different from places we usually go. I actually find diners rather romantic. It’s hard to find one that isn’t a chain restaurant anymore. This one is an independent family-owned business.”  
  
“I love it. Especially now that I’ve been here with you.” Kara said.  
  
Kara adjusted her glasses and began perusing the menu.  
  
"I like your glasses, by the way." Lena said.  
  
"Oh right, you probably haven't seen them before. It's so calm at the ranch, I don't really need them there and it's easier to ride without them."  
  
"What does it being calm there have to do with your vision?"  
  
"Right, I meant to say, um, well, I don't really need to read anything when I'm there."  
  
Lena eyed her a bit suspiciously. "Hmm, well they're pretty cute."  
  
"Thanks." Kara said and adjusted them self-consciously as the waitress arrived to take their order.  
  
“What can I get you, hon?” She asked Lena.  
  
“I’ll take a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings and a coke. I say go big or go home. What about you, Kara?”  
  
“Can I get the Big Breakfast Wallop and a milk shake?”  
  
“See, that’s what I’m talking about! Go big or go home.” Lena said with a grin.  
  
“Coming right up, ladies.” The waitress said and disappeared.  
  
“So, if you need some dress clothes maybe I could take you shopping on our next date.” Lena said.  
  
“Oh no, you don’t need to do that, Lena!”  
  
‘I know I don’t need to. I want to. It brings together two of my favorite things – shopping and you.”  
  
Kara smiled and turned red. “I guess I could use serious wardrobe help.”  
  
“Oh no, you do just fine, believe me. But I’d love to dress you.”  
  
Kara didn’t know what to say so she reached across the table and took Lena’s hand.  
  
“So, how was your trip?”  
  
“It was actually very interesting. I’ve only gone to work with father once before. Well, I’ve been many times to the office, but I mean when it’s for the purpose of learning the business. I like seeing behind the scenes. And my father is the only person in my family who seems to want to spend time with me these days, so it’s good quality time for us to do things without Mother around to put a damper on things.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Lena. It sounds pretty lonely.”  
  
“Maybe. Yes, it is, but at the same time it’s kind of how it’s always been. Well, with my parents. It used to be better with Lex. I miss us spending time together. No one else in the world has the same family, you know? We have the same sense of humor. We connected most when mother was acting the worst. But now he’s completely engrossed in his, well, politics, I guess you’d call it.”  
  
“What about at school? Is it better there?”  
  
“It’s better there because I have a lot of friends. But it’s not really the same as family.”  
  
“Yes, I know what you mean.”  
  
“So tell me about your family. I know you’ve been adopted. What happened with the family you were with before the Danvers?”  
  
Kara pulled back her hand and looked down. “I’m sorry, Lena. I…I can’t really talk about it.”  
  
“It’s OK, Kara, you can trust me. I was adopted too, you know.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes. I was very young. My mother was taking care of me on her own and she died when I was only four. The Luthors adopted me after that.”  
  
“Do you remember her?”  
  
“Not very well. I can’t really remember her face anymore, that makes me sad. I can remember feelings and sometimes get a glimpse of places we lived. It was quite different from how I live now.”  
  
“And what do you remember feeling?”  
  
“Well, I remember feeling loved. I don’t remember a lot of details, but I know she loved me.”  
  
Kara looked at Lena’s eyes and saw they were welling with tears. She took her hand again and squeezed.  
  
Lena wiped her eyes and looked away. “Well, it feels like another lifetime ago.”  
  
“Do you remember your mother?”  
  
“Yes. Sometimes it feels like only yesterday that I was with her.”  
  
“Did she love you?”  
  
“Yes. And my father too. They gave up everything for me.” Kara said.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Oh, just….well, I can’t really talk about it. It’s not that I don’t trust you, Lena. But it’s a very complicated story and the Danvers have asked me not to talk about it.”  
  
Lena sat looking right at her. Kara squirmed in her seat. She realized what she was saying must sound very strange. Not at all normal.  
  
“Kara, you talk so differently than everyone around here. Where did you grow up?”  
  
“I’m sorry. They don’t want me to talk about that either.”  
  
“It might help to be able to talk about your family and where you lived before you came here. It seems like the Danvers would recognize that.”  
  
“Well….. they only want what is in my best interests.” Kara looked like she wanted to crawl under the table.  
  
Lena watched her closely. Kara knew Lena could tell there was a lot more to the story and she wanted to know. She wanted to help. But she could also tell Kara needed her to let it go.  
  
“Well, this is pretty heavy first date material!” Lena said, changing the subject.  
  
Kara looked relieved. “Well, I’ve been wanting to ask you about your car. It looks like a space pod!”  
  
Lena smiled, “You really do know my weaknesses, Kara Danvers. Is it so obvious that I’m a car freak? OK, twist my arm, I’ll tell you all about it. First, it plugs in, and can go over 300 miles on a charge….”  
  
Lena went on about the features of the Tesla until their food arrived. After a lot of salting and ketchuping, they tucked in.  
  
“Oh my God, this burger is so good!”  
  
“Mine’s really good to. You should try this milkshake.”  
  
Kara watched Lena’s lips closely as she sucked the thick shake.  
  
“Yum,” She said, licking some milkshake off her lips and looking directly at Kara.  
  
Kara tried to think of something else besides the very stimulating imagery of Lena’s tongue, and lips, and milkshake…  
  
“So, I’m going to get a car soon! Well, a truck.” Kara changed the subject.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes. Cisco is getting a new one soon and he’s selling his to me. It’s more than 20 years old, so it’s pretty cheap. I’ll be able to pay for it with my wages from the ranch.”  
  
“Jesus, Kara.” Lena said quietly, gazing at her with a longing smirk.  
  
“What, what’s wrong?” Kara panicked a little, wondering if she’d said something wrong again.  
  
“It’s just that… sometimes I suspect you were created in a lab somewhere, based on designs from all my secret fantasies. Imagining you driving around in an old pickup truck, in your cowboy hat – it’s really too much!”  
  
Kara had a confused smile on her face. She felt she was starting to understand Lena better, not always sure precisely what she was saying, but generally understanding better based how she was saying and reading her expressions.  
  
“I mean that in the best way.” Lena assured her.  
  
“Well, Cisco lets me drive around the ranch and I'll be getting my learner’s permit soon. Then I’ll be able to drive as long as there is a fully licensed driver in the car. Maybe I could take you out on a date?”  
  
“Most definitely.” Kara said with an knowing grin.  
  
Again Kara's brain was starting to stray towards thoughts of Lena that she couldn't act on in a restaurant, so she changed the subject again.  
  
“So, um, do you think you’ll go into your dad’s business?”  
  
“Well, he really wants me too. Especially now that Lex is no longer the heir apparent.”  
  
“What does that mean?”  
  
“Well, he’s lost interest. He refuses to go into the office. He says it’s not important and a waste of his time.”  
  
“But is it really what you want to do?”  
  
“What I really want to do is biomechanical engineering. A brain like this is wasted in business. But there’s going to be a lot of pressure to join the company.”  
  
“Lena, I believe you can do anything you want. You’re brilliant, and confident, and determined.”  
  
Lena smiled. “Well, I do hear the word ‘genius’ batted around quite a bit.”  
  
“….and humble.” Kara laughed.  
  
“Kara, did you just tease me?” Lena said in a voice of faux shock. “You’re adorable.”  
  
“I mean it though, Lena. You could do anything in the world if you set your mind to it.”  
  
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kara. And you’re right. I’ll just have to make it out of the house, somehow. Make the break without Mother strangling me in my sleep.”  
  
“I’m sure, deep down, she loves you. How could she not?”  
  
“If you want to know the truth, I think she really does hate me. I have a theory that Lionel is really my biological father. I do look a lot like him, and Lex. I think he had an affair with my real mother. When she got pregnant either she didn’t tell him or he decided not to be involved in my life. Or maybe he was around sometimes and I don’t remember. Regardless, when she died I think that’s when he stepped in to adopt me. Mother must have figured it out, or he told her, who knows. I think that’s why she hates me. And loves Lex. Still, I think she sees that I would be a huge asset for the company. And she probably thinks I owe it to them.”  
  
“Wow. I’m sorry you have to live with that, Lena. No wonder you have such a tough façade.”  
  
“Which you seem to have very easily cut through.” She said with a small smile.  
  
“You don’t need a façade with me. I would never do anything to hurt you.”  
  
“The scary thing is….I believe you.”  
  
“Why is that scary?”  
  
“Trust is a scary thing for me.”  
  
“You can trust me, Lena.”  
  
Lena sat quietly looking at Kara. A few moments passed and she said quietly. “I know.”  
  
Kara decided not to push it further. She looked down at her plate, which she had demolished without realizing. Then she looked at Lena’s plate, which was just about half finished.  
  
“Wow, I love to see a woman with a healthy appetite.” Lena said when she noticed Kara’s plate. “My friends at school hardly eat anything but salad." Lena then noticed Kara looking longingly at her burger.  
  
“Kara, are you still hungry? I really can’t eat any more. You’re welcome to finish this off.”  
  
Kara looked at her, unconvinced. It was hard for her to imagine someone leaving that much food.  
  
“I promise; I really can’t eat the rest.” She pushed Kara’s plate to the side and moved her own in it’s place and waited.  
  
Finally, Kara tucked in and polished off the rest quickly.  
  
“I guess you need a lot of food to build all that muscle.” Lena said in amazement.  
  
Kara wiped her face on her napkin with a grin. “That was delicious, Lena! Thanks for bringing me here.”  
  
“My pleasure, truly.” Lena said, smiling.  
  
***  
  
After Lena paid they made their way back to the car.  
  
As the door closed Kara could hear the waitress exclaiming over her tip.  
  
“Sounds like you gave her a nice tip.”  
  
“She gave us good service. And she didn’t miss a beat when she saw us holding hands. She seems like good people to me.”  
  
As Lena beeped the lock Kara hurried to open her door.  
  
“Why, thank you.” Lena said with a satisfied smile, fanning herself as if she was overheated.  
  
“My pleasure, ma’am.” Kara said and hurried to the passenger’s side and climbed in.  
  
“What time do you have to be home?” Lena asked.  
  
“I’m not sure, exactly. ‘Not late’, Eliza said.”  
  
“ Well it’s only just after 8:00. Do you mind if I show you one of my favorite spots in Midvale?”  
  
“Yes, please.” Kara said in her best puppy dog voice.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sia and Dolly do a great song called "Here I Am", but this title refers to Lyle Lovett's song, which happens in a diner and mentions cheeseburgers and is also great.


	13. We Are All Made of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Date, Part II.

They left the diner and drove for quite a while back towards town and stopped near the beach. Kara followed Lena through some scrubby forest until they reached a water tower.  
  
“Well, there it is. I know it doesn’t look like much, but if you climb to the top you feel like you’re in another world. So close to the sky, above it all.” Lena said wistfully.  
  
“Let’s go!” Kara said with excitement and scrambled towards the tower. When they got there Lena saw the ladder didn’t reach the ground.  
  
“Oh no! They’ve raised the ladder up. They must have realized people were climbing up.”  
  
“I can boost you.” Kara said.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I mean I can lift you so you can reach the bottom of the ladder.” As she said it Kara realized this was a bad idea. Should she be able to lift an almost-adult size female human? She wasn’t sure. But she really wanted Lena to have her view from the water tower.  
  
“Is this one of those “Dirty Dancing’ scenarios? Like I run at you and you lift me in dramatic fashion?” Lena said, laughing.  
  
Kara stayed serious. “You don’t need to run at me. Just put your foot on my hands and I’ll lift you up.” Kara laced her fingers together and bent down for Lena to step into.  
  
Lena looked at her suspiciously. “OK. I trust you.”  
  
Lena put her foot into Kara’s hands and put her hands on Kara’s shoulders.  
  
“Ready?” Kara asked.  
  
“For anything.” Lena replied.  
  
Kara lifted her slowly and steadily until Lena was able to reach the bottom rung. Lena grabbed it and pulled herself up by her hands along the ladder as Kara steadily raised her until she could put her feet on the bottom rung.  
  
Once Lena was safely on the ladder she looked down at Kara. “But how will you get up?”  
  
“I’ll just jump. It’s fine, just climb up and I’ll follow.”  
  
Kara was kicking herself, realizing there was probably no way she should be able to do that. But she’d come too far. There was no turning back now.  
  
After Lena started climbing up she jumped and grabbed the ladder. She moved slowly, as if it was a challenge, and they eventually made it to the platform. Lena sat down and gazed out at the view.  
  
Kara was right behind her, but when she grabbed the rail of the platform it shifted.  
  
"Whoa, watch out for this rail, it's not very stable." She told Lena, then sat down beside her.  
  
“It’s amazing how many stars you can see from here. It’s because we’re so far from the artificial lights. Isn’t that interesting? All these stars are here burning away regardless of what we do. It’s only if we stop and get away from the city that we can see them. But we so rarely do that.” Lena said.  
  
Kara always felt nostalgic under a star-filled sky. It reminded her of home. Even though the constellations were different, it was the one view on Earth that seemed familiar. “It is amazing.” Kara agreed and took her hand.  
  
They stayed like that for quite a while, content with their own thoughts and holding hands.  
  
"So, you never told me what you want to do when you grow up." Lena said.  
  
"Oh, well, I'm not really sure. I've never really thought about. I know what I want to do, but it's not a real job."  
  
"What do you mean, not a real job?"  
  
"Well, you don't get paid to do it. And also my family tells me I'm not allowed."  
  
"Weird, what is it?"  
  
"Umm, well, they also told me never to talk about it. I probably shouldn't have said anything."  
  
Lena looked at Kara oddly. "Well, what are you good at? What classes do you like?"  
  
"Well, I'm really good at math. But the class I like best is writing. It's more creative and interesting."  
  
"You should try doing some writing on your own and see what comes of it. It's a good way to figure out what you like, what type of writing you're good at."  
  
"What would I write about?"  
  
"Anything! You can write anything you want. It is still a free country. You could start writing a journal, just about what you did during the day."  
  
"Hmmm, maybe. Might be fun."  
  
"Does your school have a paper or some kind of periodical?"  
  
"There's a weekly paper, not sure if there's anything else."  
  
"You should ask whether they need any help. That would be a great way to learn about journalism. Even if they don't need writers right now, I'm sure there are plenty of other ways you could help out."  
  
"Hmm, maybe. OK, I'll look into it. I think Alex is friends with the editor."  
  
"I bet you'd be a good writer. You're so honest and I think that's important in writing."  
  
Kara got quiet. She appreciated Lena's advice, but felt guilty when Lena told her she was honest. She felt dishonest keeping her secret identity. She knew she had no choice, but it felt like lying and she hated it.  
  
They sat looking at the stars for a while until Lena started getting up.  
  
“Well, sadly, I’ve got to get up. The metal grate of this platform is cold and digging into my ass.” Lena stood up on wobbly legs, holding tight to the rail.  
  
“Come sit on my lap.” Kara said and pulled on her hand.  
  
“No, Kara. I’m too heavy and you must be cold and uncomfortable, too.”  
  
“Lena, I’m wearing jeans and you’re wearing a tiny skirt. Not that I don't appreciate that." She grinned mischievously. "Just sit down, I can handle it.”  
  
“You certainly can.” Lena said as slipped into Kara’s lap.  
  
Lena put her arms around Kara’s neck as Kara wrapped her up in her arms. Their mouths were so close together, it wasn’t even clear who started it, their lips met in a desperate kiss. It was clear they both had been wanting to do that all night.  
  
Despite being so high, Lena didn’t seem worried now that she was in Kara’s arms. It was like she knew instinctively that Kara wouldn’t let anything happen to her. She opened her mouth to take Kara’s tongue more deeply.  
  
As their arms moved to pull each other closer their tongues continued to explore. Kara felt like she couldn’t get close enough. She grabbed Lena’s hair pulled it back so she could kiss her neck. She kept her other arm wrapped tightly around Lena’s back for security.  
  
Kara continued kissing her way down Lena’s neck and down to her throat. Lena’s blouse was so low, she kept moving down till she was kissing the top of her breasts. She wanted to use her hands, but they were wrapped tightly around Lena. Lena had one arm wrapped tightly around Kara’s shoulders and the other gripping her hair, pushing her head further and closer to her breasts.  
  
“Lena, I want to touch you. I want to feel under your blouse. You’re breasts are so beautiful.”  
  
“Not here, Kara. I want your arms around me. It’s too high. But I feel safe when you’re holding me.”  
  
Kara’s heart swelled to hear her say that. Once again she promised herself she would protect Lena, no matter what.  
  
“You are safe. I’m never going to let you go.” She began kissing Lena again until they were both out if breath.  
  
“We better slow down or we won’t make it off this tower alive.” Lena laughed. She shifted so that her back was to Kara but stayed in her lap. Kara hugged her arms around Lena's waist and put her chin on Lena's shoulder. They looked out at the sky together.  
  
“Alex told me about this place. I think it’s the same place. She said she comes here when she wants to get away and think.”  
  
“I think I’d like your sister. Sounds like she looks out for you. That must be nice.”  
  
“Yes. She’s the best. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”  
  
“I’m really glad you have someone like that, Kara.”  
  
“Thanks. I am too. I need someone to talk to about all these new feelings I’m having.”  
  
“Is that right?” Lena said with a grin.  
  
“Yes. That’s right.” Lena turned her face back towards Kara. They moved their lips together again, drinking each other in as if finding water in the desert.  
  
Kara pulled back again, realizing she was getting too worked up. “Yeah, we really do have to stop if we want to make it down. Thanks for bringing me here, Lena.”  
  
“Thanks for getting me up here. I didn’t know they’d raised the ladder. My big romantic gesture could have been a bust.”  
  
“I’ll go down first so I can help you at the bottom. It may feel like a drop, you have to trust me.”  
  
“I do, Kara. Maybe I’m crazy, but I do trust you.”  
  
When Lena got to the bottom she wasn’t able to get far enough down to reach Kara’s hands. She had to let go and trust Kara would catch her. It wasn’t much of a drop, but she had to free fall for a moment. Kara caught her with ease, bridal style and held her tight so that she would feel steady. Lena looked up at her with shining eyes. “My hero.” She said quietly. She put her cupped her hand under Kara’s chin and pulled her into a chaste kiss. Kara eased her down to the ground.  
  
“Do you want to walk on the beach for a bit?” Kara asked.  
  
“Sure.” Lena said, taking her hand and heading down the beach.  
  
Kara noticed Lena starting to shiver. ‘Lena, you’re freezing!”  
  
“Kara, I’m fine! We just need to move a bit and get the blood flowing.” Lena said, continuing down the beach.  
  
“Lena, stop.” Kara took off her jacket and wrapped it around Lena’s shoulders.  
  
“Kara, now you’re going to be cold!”  
  
“I run hot, remember?”  
  
“I’ll say.” Lena said with a smirk.  
  
They walked along the beach with waves crashing near their feet, being careful not to get soaked in the cold water. They looked at the moon and at each other and walked. Eventually they reached a private beach and had to turn around.  
  
“I should get you home.” Lena stopped and kissed Kara’s hand.  
  
“I know. Eliza will be waiting up, I’m sure.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll drive fast.” Lena said with a laugh.  
  
When Lena pulled into the driveway they could clearly see the light on in the living room.  
  
“Uh-oh. I think we’re busted.” Lena said.  
  
“I better get in there. Thanks for an amazing first date, Lena.”  
  
“It was my pleasure, Kara. Can I see you tomorrow?” Lena asked.  
  
“Yes! I could ride later in the afternoon."  
  
"Great, I'll try to sneak out so Father doesn’t decide to join. Maybe we could work on your jumps?”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Absolutely.”  
  
She said and pulled Kara close for one last kiss as the porch lights came on. “OK, you better run.”  
  
“Good night, Lena.” Kara kissed her hand and jumped out of the car.  
  
"Kara, wait, I still have your jacket on!"  
  
"Just hang on to it, Lena. Alex gave it to me so it's fine. I don't want you to feel cold on the way home." Kara said sincerely. "Anyway, I like seeing you in my clothes."  
  
Lena got a serious look on her face which Kara couldn't read.  
  
"OK, Romeo, you better get going." Lena said shaking off the thought.  
  
"OK, goodnight, Lena."  
  
“Sweet dreams, Kara.”


	14. Wild Horses Couldn't Drag Me Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just watched S4, Ep.8. Kara was so dejected at the end, I wanted to post something where she got a little action.

The next day Kara got to the ranch in the afternoon and began getting the horses ready just before Lena arrived. Since it was Sunday the place looked like a ghost town.  
  
They decided to go right to the arena so Kara could practice some jumps. Lena started by changing the configuration of the jumps, making them lower but closer together so she would have to take the jumps in quick succession. She explained that would allow Kara and the horse to get used to each other. She said that would help her really work on her form and get comfortable with it because she could get in a rhythm rather than just get in a cycle of recovering from a big jump and preparing for the next.  
  
After several rounds Kara could tell she was already feeling more confident and that she and the horse were improving.  
  
“You look good out there, Kara! I knew you’d be a quick learner.”  
  
Kara warmed at the praise.  
  
“Now let’s raise them up a bit and run again.”  
  
After another series of runs Lena stopped her. She stood on a small stand and had Kara move next to her with the horse. Lena put her hand on Kara's back and pushed her forward into a lean, then ran her other hand down from the top of Kara's abdomen to the bottom, shifting her hips further back in the saddle. Then she shifted her legs further back so that she was almost in a crouch position over the saddle. Kara tried to focus on her words, but was getting distracted by the touching.  
  
"Jesus, your abs feel like a washboard!" Lena said with admiration. "I hope I get to see them up close someday."  
  
Kara held still, trying to do exactly what Lena wanted her to do.  
  
“This is the position you want to be in as you make the jump. Make sure you’re squeezing with your calves, not your knees as you go over.” She squeezed Kara's calf, then rubbed her hand over her ass for good measure.  
  
“You’re doing great. You really are a natural.”  
  
Kara stared at her hands with a pleased smile, resisting the urge to look at Lena and lose focus.  
  
“You like me telling you what to do, don’t you?” Lena said with a smirk.  
  
“Yes. And I like you touching me.” Kara said.  
  
“And telling you how good you are?”  
  
“Yes. I like all of that.”  
  
“I thought you might. Well, let’s do some more runs and then we’ll see if we can dream up some other activities you might enjoy.” Lena said with a seductive smile.  
  
Kara urged her horse into a trot. She was excited about practicing her jumps, but even more excited about what they might do next.  
  
***  
  
After a couple of hours they returned to the barn. As Kara put up her horse Lena was checking out the barn.  
  
“It’s so quiet here today, does anyone work on Sunday? Lena asked.  
  
“Yes, Cisco and Barry trade out to cover every other weekend, but the rest of the hands are off Saturday and Sunday. There’s always someone here from 9 to 5 every day.”  
  
“In case my family wants to ride?”  
  
“Yes.” Kara responded.  
  
“What’s up in that loft?” Lena said, looking up at an opening in the barn ceiling.  
  
“Mostly hay. And some very ancient tractor equipment. Cisco said they’re antiques.”  
  
“Hmm, I’d like to see that.” Lena pulled down the ladder leading to the loft. It still didn’t really reach the ground, but she was able to reach high enough to start climbing up. Kara watched her disappear and then began to follow. When she got to the top and peered into the loft she saw Lena reclining on a pile of hay. She pulled herself up the rest of the way and stood on the floor boards staring at Lena, her mouth slightly agape.  
  
“Kara, last night you asked if you could put your hands on me, but it was too dangerous on top of the tower.” Lena unbuttoned the top button of her blouse and unlatched her bra. “Seems pretty safe here though…”  
  
Kara stood mesmerized as Lena’s breasts came partially into view, one nipple slightly visible through the thin material of her blouse.  
  
“Your bra unfastens in the front.” Kara said, amazed at the sight before her and not knowing what to say. “I’ve never seen that before.”  
  
Lena laughed out loud. “You really are adorable.” She beckoned Kara forward with her index finger.  
  
Kara shuffled forward and fell on her knees before Lena, as if worshipping her. Which, really, she was. Her hands moved to Lena’s blouse buttons. She looked closely into Lena’s eyes for permission and Lena nodded, looking a bit breathless.  
  
Kara began to unbutton the rest of her blouse and pushed aside her bra. She took in a sharp breath as her breasts came in to full view.  
  
“Lena, you are so beautiful. Can I touch you?”  
  
“Yes, please.” Lena begged.  
  
Kara began to slowly caress Lena’s breasts. They were so soft and full, she’d never felt anything like them. She felt Lena’s nipples grow tight and pointed under her fingers. Lena’s chest began to rise and fall more rapidly. Soon it didn’t seem like enough to be worshiping Lena with just her hands. She moved closer, straddling Lena’s leg and leaning in to kiss her breasts, licking and sucking all over, taking her nipple into her mouth, then between her teeth and gently biting.  
  
“Oh, yes!” Lena said and put her hands into Kara’s hair, pulling her closer encouragingly.  
  
At that point Kara could feel herself getting hard and knew Lena would be able to feel her growing against her thigh. Kara moved to scoot back, but Lena held her head still to stop her.  
  
“No, Kara, don’t stop. It’s OK. It’s a totally natural response. We don’t need to do anything more, but please, don’t stop kissing me.”  
  
Kara moved her lips back to Lena’s breasts and slowly began to move towards her throat, kissing along her collar bone and slowly working her way up Lena’s neck. Kara’s hands re-engaged with Lena’s breasts, cupping and caressing, rubbing her fingertips across Lena’s nipples as she continued kissing along the arc of Lena’s exposed neck. Lena’s head fell back against the hay. Her breath was getting shorter and she began to moan. Kara could feel herself growing tight in her jeans, pushing more against Lena. She resisted the urge to grind down and rub her cock against Lena’s thigh. She knew it would feel so good. but wanted to focus only on making Lena feel good. She was concentrating on keeping herself as calm as she could so she wouldn’t cum in her jeans prematurely.  
  
Eventually Lena lifted her head off the hay and jerked Kara’s head forward so that their lips came together in a deep kiss. Lena pushed her tongue deep into Kara’s mouth, licking across the top, then pulling out and licking, then biting at her lips.  
  
“Lena, you feel so good.” Kara breathed out heavily as she continued to caress her breasts. Lena reached for Kara’s flannel shirt and began unbuttoning the top button.  
  
“I want to feel your skin against me, Kara.”  
  
“Yes, oh God, yes.” Kara gasped. She mentally congratulated herself for not saying ‘Rao’ instead of God, even in this mind-blowing situation. She had managed to break the habit after noticing it made Lena suspicious. She could feel Lena’s hand sliding inside her shirt and under her bra, sending her brain into complete meltdown.  
  
“Kara! Kara, are you in here?” They both froze as they heard Cisco calling loudly for her.  
  
“Yes, I’m up here!” Kara called while Lena looked at her like she was insane.  
  
“I’m sorry, it’s a habit! When the boss calls…” Kara whispered to Lena.  
  
“Can you come down?”  
  
“Umm….sure.” Kara said, unable to think of any excuse for staying up there.  
  
She kissed Lena gently and started to awkwardly get up.  
  
“Don’t tell him I’m here.” Lena whispered.  
  
“Of course not.” Kara headed for the ladder.  
  
“Kara, stop!” Lena called in a loud whisper. Kara turned back to her. “Button your shirt!”  
  
Kara grinned and quickly buttoned up and headed down the ladder. Cisco waited for her at the bottom.  
  
“I thought I heard something. I thought you must be in one of the stalls. What are you doing up there?” He asked, clearly surprised to find her there.  
  
“Oh, just, um, I was just looking at the antiques.” Kara stammered.  
  
“And why are you here on a Sunday? Do you have hay in your hair?”  
  
“I…came to practice my jumps. I don’t seem to have much time for that anymore during the week.”  
  
“Kara, is Lena here? Lionel just called down to the office and is trying to find her.”  
  
“No! Well, no. She isn’t. I mean, she isn’t riding today.”  
  
Cisco looked at her curiously. “OK, Kara. I guess she’s not here. But if she was here, I would tell her to get back to the house as fast as she could. Lionel seems very worried that no one has a clue where she is right now. I’ll let him know she’s not here.”  
  
“OK, got it. Thanks, Cisco.”  
  
“Just remember, if she was here and I told him she wasn’t, I could get in a lot of trouble if he found out. Maybe even lose my job.”  
  
“Understood.” Kara said.  
  
“I’m going down to the lower barn now. See you tomorrow?”  
  
“You bet, see you tomorrow.” Kara said. “And thanks again, Cisco, you are a true friend.”  
  
Kara watched Cisco walk out of sight.  
  
“He’s gone.” She called up to Lena. She watched Lena climbing down and held her hips when she reached the end of the ladder and jumped the rest of the way to the ground. Lena turned around and Kara wrapped her arms tightly around her. Lena eased her arms around Kara’s back and they moved their foreheads together.  
  
“I wish you didn’t have to go.” Kara said quietly, “Will you be in trouble?”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll have a good story ready by the time I get back. It’ll be fine.” Lena’s voice wasn’t nearly as confident as her words. They both got quiet at the thought that Lionel might figure out that she was sneaking off to meet a ranch hand.  
  
“We can trust Cisco, right?”  
  
“Absolutely. He all but told me he was going to lie to Lionel about it and that it could cost him his job if he found out. He volunteered to do that. He gets it. He’s my friend, Lena.”  
  
“OK, then I trust him, too.” Lena kissed Kara quickly, as if afraid what would get started if she lingered at all. “I’ve got to get going.”  
  
“I know.” Kara gave her a quick hug, careful not to squeeze too hard, then stepped back. “Thanks for teaching me today.”  
  
“It was definitely my pleasure.” Lena said with a wicked smile as she hurried out of the barn.  
  
“Wait!” Kara called after her. Lena stopped and turned around. “Will I see you tomorrow?”  
  
“Oh, I almost forgot, Lex asked me to go out to dinner with him tomorrow night.” Lena said. “It’s been so long since we’ve done something like that together. I think he wants to talk away from the parents.”  
  
“Oh, that’s nice that he wants to do something with you.” Kara said glumly.  
  
“Yes.” Lena pondered. “I could ride on Tuesday though.”  
  
Kara’s face brightened at that. “Till Tuesday, then.”  
  
“Till Tuesday.” Lena said wistfully and quickly headed out.


	15. You Can Climb a Ladder Up to the Sun

That night Kara couldn’t wait to talk to Alex about her weekend. Alex didn’t come home the night after her date with Lena. She assumed she stayed over at Vicki’s. One of the advantages to not being out, Kara thought – _you get to have sleepovers. ___  
  
“So, how was the big date?” Alex asked.  
  
“It was amazing!” Kara said excitedly.  
  
“Really? Where’d she take you?”  
  
“A little diner outside of town. The food was great!”  
  
“A diner? Wow, she really went all out.” Alex said.  
  
“Are you being sarcastic?” Kara asked.  
  
“Well, yeah, I guess I was expecting something a little bit more upscale.”  
  
“She said she just wanted us to be able to hang out and not have to worry about people who know her parents seeing us. She finds diners romantic and I do too! We were able to talk and get to know each other better. She really seems interested in learning more about me - which is tricky, of course, because often she asks about things I can't talk about. She talked to me about my writing. She encouraged me to try to write more and see what I like. Do you think I’d be able to help out on the school paper?” Kara rambled on, wanting to tell Alex everything.  
  
“Sure, you know James, the editor, is a friend of mine. What do you want to do on the paper?”  
  
“I’d like to write, but I know that probably isn’t possible without experience. I guess I just want to learn what they do, help out however I can.”  
  
“OK, I’ll talk to him. He’s a really nice guy, I’ll bet he’d give you a chance.”  
  
“Really? Thanks Alex!”  
  
“Sure, no problem. Did you go anywhere else?”  
  
“Yes! We went to the water tower and looked at the stars. I think it’s the place you told me you like to go when you want to think, it was near the beach.”  
  
“Off of Route 66, near the breakers?”  
  
“Yes, I could see breakers from the platform.”  
  
“Sounds like a lovely evening Kara, I’m glad you had a nice first date.”  
  
“What about you, did you have a good weekend?” Kara asked. She realized she had been so focused on her own weekend, she hadn’t thought much of what was going on with Alex.  
  
“I stayed at Vicki’s last night. They have a basement where we can just go and hang out away from her family, so that’s nice. Her parents are kind of weird.”  
  
“What do you do over there?”  
  
“We watch movies, eat junk food, just hang out.”  
  
“So her parents have no idea?” Kara asked.  
  
"I guess not. They don’t seem curious at all about what we’re doing. I guess it just doesn’t even cross their minds that we might be together.”  
  
‘What about Eliza and Jeremiah? Does it seem odd to them that you spend so much time together?”  
  
“I don’t know. They haven’t said anything. Did they ask you about it?”  
  
“No, they haven’t said anything to me.”  
  
“They didn’t seem to care that I went out with a girl. Mainly Eliza was just bothered that Lena didn’t come to the door to pick me up.”  
  
“Ha, that’s funny. I bet she was looking forward to getting a glimpse of the famous Lena Luthor.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Nothing. I think people in town have pre-conceived notions about all the Luthors, and she was probably curious to have a look. Anyone would be.”  
  
“She told me next time to tell her to come to the door.”  
  
“Ha! That’s awesome. I love Mom telling Luthors what to do.”  
  
“I think she’s just worried about me.”  
  
“I think you’re right. You’re her daughter now and she won’t tolerate any disrespect.”  
  
“I don’t think Lena meant any disrespect. I think it’s just hard on her to always be the novelty.”  
  
“That makes sense. In this town they are the closest thing we have to celebrities.”  
  
“Right, I think that’s why we went to a diner out of town. She doesn’t want to be recognized by someone that knows her parents.”  
  
“Makes sense. Does it bother you that it’s a secret from her parents?”  
  
“Not really. I’m more worried that she might have to leave before the end of her break if they find out. I don’t want her to take any chances. I don’t know, maybe she’s embarrassed of me too.”  
  
“I’m sure she’s not, Kara. Why would she be embarrassed? You’re amazing. I know you don’t realize it, but I think Lena is smart enough to see that.”  
  
“Thanks, Alex, that makes me feel better.”  
  
“I mean it. Good night, Kara.”  
  
“Good night, Alex.”  
  
Kara laid there for a long time staring at the ceiling. Finally, she spoke up.  
  
“Alex, are you awake?”  
  
“What is it, Kara?”  
  
“When you stay over with Vicki, what do you do? I mean, besides watching TV?”  
  
Alex was quiet for a while. “You mean, do we have sex?”  
  
It was Kara’s turn to be quiet. “Yes, I’m sorry. Don’t tell me if you don’t want to. It’s just that, well, so much of what I see on TV is with boys and girls. I just wonder what it’s like with just girls.”  
  
“I know what you mean, I always felt the same way. But you will figure it out, I promise. At least that’s how it was for me. You just need to pay attention. Listen to what she says and how she responds to what you’re doing. You’re very observant, Kara, and you are such a people-pleaser. And it’s OK to just ask. Ask what makes her feel good or what she wants. I promise, you will be fine.”  
  
“I don’t want to be fine. I want to her to feel amazing.”  
  
“That’s half the battle, Kara. You want her to feel good, probably more than you want to feel good yourself. Putting her needs before yours, you are going to be able to make her feel good. Maybe it will take some time, but you’ll get there.”  
  
“OK. Is that all you want to tell me about it?”  
  
“Well, just think about how it feels when you touch yourself. It’s the same for Lena, except it’s her clitoris where a lot of nerves are concentrated. You want to pay a lot of attention to that area with your hands and mouth. Penetration probably also feels good to her, but that doesn’t have to be with your penis, using your fingers and tongue would also feel good. But everyone is different in what they like, that’s why I say listen to how she responds to what you’re doing, and it’s OK to ask. I know you want to do whatever you can to make her feel good, so don’t be shy. And also try to be open to letting her make you feel good, too. You're very focused on what she wants, but it's OK to explore what you like as well. Making someone feel good like that is an incredible feeling, and Lena is probably going to want that as well.”  
  
“Thanks, Alex. That makes a lot of sense." Kara got quiet, thinking about all the things Alex had told her.  
  
"I think maybe it's safer if I just use my hands.”  
  
"Oh, I see. You're worried about hurting her?"  
  
"Yes! I mean I'm must stronger and denser than humans. It's just, what if I hurt her? "  
  
"Kara, have you talked to Clark about this?"  
  
"Sure, and he was super-excited to talk to his little cousin about sex!"  
  
"Ha! You are getting the hang of this sarcasm thing."  
  
"I just, there's no one to really talk to about what it's like for humans and Kryptonians. The last thing I want to do is something to hurt Lena. "  
  
"Kara, you're not going to do anything to hurt her. You're going to be paying very close attention to how she's reacting and you'll know if something doesn't feel right. She's going to let you know. Just go slow, it's going to be fine. You know that humans and Kryptonians can be together. Clark and Lois have figured it out."  
  
"I hope you're right. If I hurt her, well, I can't imagine anything worse.  
  
"You know, it's OK to wait, Kara. It might be that you really aren't ready and you just need more time. If you don't feel good about it then you don't need to do anything at all."  
  
"I know. Lena says she doesn't want us to do anything I'm not comfortable with."  
  
"I'm really glad to hear that. No one should pressure you to do something you aren't ready for."  
  
"I know. I'm ready, I just want to do it right."  
  
"If you are ready, the other thing you have to think about is 'safe sex'. Do you know what that means?"  
  
"Isn't that what we're talking about?"  
  
"Ha. No, this is something they'll teach you at school next year. If you decide to go further than using your hands and mouth, you need to use a condom. That protects you both. There are a lot of diseases you can spread from having sex, and also risk of pregnancy. You have to use them every time."  
  
Kara got quiet again. She had no idea what a condom was and felt a bit overwhelmed at all the information.  
  
"It's OK, Kara. I can help you get some. But you'll need to figure out how to use them. I really can't help you with that."  
  
"OK, I'll think about it." Kara said.  
  
“You know there are a lot of books out there if you just want to learn more about human biology. Even the Internet could be helpful, you just have to be careful or you might see something you’re not ready for.”  
  
“OK, I’ll try that. What I really wish is that I could get a book on Kryptonian biology. Well, what I really need is a 'Kryptonians on Earth' book.  
  
"Just listen, pay attention, and go slow."  
  
"Thanks Alex. It's such a relief to be able to talk to you about this. I have all these things spinning around in my head and no where for them to go. Sorry if I’m annoying.”  
  
“You’re not annoying. I know you don’t have anyone to talk to about this and you’re dealing with a lot of new feelings and experiences.”  
  
“You have no idea. Well, you probably do. I just feel like I’m in a whole new, exciting world, without a map.”  
  
“Just go with it, Kara. Just enjoy it to the fullest. Lena knows you are a newbie and she still wants you. Just talk to her if you're freaking out.”  
  
“You’re right, whenever we talk after we have misunderstandings I always feel better.”  
  
“I’m glad to hear that, Kara. If that ever changes you should come talk to me about it.”  
  
“Thanks, Alex.”  
  
“You bet, sis. Sleep well.”  
  
“OK, I’ll try.” Kara laid down and continued to watch the images of the weekend on a loop. Lena grinning while eating a burger, smiling slyly at the diner. Lena sitting in her lap on the water tower, gazing out at the stars. Lena, her blouse open and breasts laid bare, her head thrown back on the hay, responding with moans to Kara’s tongue.  
  
It was going to be another long night.


	16. Hold Your Horses

True to her word, by lunch the next day Alex had arranged for Kara to meet James after school. Kara skipped lunch to spend time at the library on research about human biology, as Alex suggested. It was an eye opening experience and helped her feel more confident about understanding the human body.  
  
After school Kara went in to large room that served as the paper’s headquarters and found James hard at work on his computer.  
  
“You must be Kara.” He said with a welcoming smile and extending his hand to shake. “Alex has told me a lot about you.”  
  
“Thanks for meeting me.”  
  
“So, you want to be a writer?”  
  
“I want to learn as much as I can about writing and working on the paper. I can help with anything.”  
  
“Well, why don’t we start you out on layout? You can work with the team to put together the stories and pictures. If that goes well you could try some copy editing, assuming you have good grammar and spelling skills. Basically, that’s correcting errors and sometimes improving the flow and sentence structure of the writers. That’s a good stepping stone to becoming a writer, if you continue working at it.”  
  
“That would be amazing! When should I start?”  
  
“Well, we have lunch meetings on Tuesday and Thursdays where we make a plan for after school schedules for the different teams, depending on what needs to be done and where we are with our deadlines. So, I guess we’ll see you at lunch tomorrow and take it from there!”  
  
“Thanks for the opportunity, James. I can’t wait to get started.”  
  
***  
  
At the ranch that day Kara was able to squeeze in some jumping practice after she finished her chores. She worked on all the techniques Lena had taught her and she really could tell a difference in her form and how the horse responded to her. She couldn’t wait to tell Lena about it. That night she was very tempted to try to call her, but she was worried about raising suspicion with her parents. She knew she just had to be patient and bide her time.  
  
Her lunch with the team running the school paper opened a new world for her. She met a lot of people she had seen around but never met. Many were upper classmen, so she didn’t have classes with them. It was decided that Kara would shadow M’gann, the lead of the layout team, who would show her the ropes. She couldn’t wait to get started, but that day she was also anxious to get to the ranch and get her work done so she could feel good about riding without ditching her chores. She worked with M’gann for about an hour after school before she begged off for going to her other job. She promised to work more during her study period the next day if she could get permission from the teacher.  
  
When Lena arrived at the ranch Kara was moving a massive pile of hay throughout the barn using a pitchfork.  
  
“Lena! Hi. I just need to finish up this pile and we can go.”  
  
“Don’t mind me. I’m thoroughly enjoying the view.” Lena said with a smirk.  
  
Once Kara was done she turned to Lena and grinned. “All done!”  
  
Lena moved quickly towards her and fisted her hand around the collar of Kara’s shirt. She pulled Kara forward as she backed herself into one of the empty horse stalls, dragging Kara with her. When Lena’s back hit the wall of the stall she pulled Kara down to her mouth for a kiss. Kara immediately moved against her, pushing her tighter against the wall. Her arms moved around Lena’s waist and around her back, pulling their bodies as close together as she could as they continued kissing.  
  
Eventually Lena pulled back to get her breath.  
  
“Sorry about jumping you. After watching you moving all that hay I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you.” Lena laughed. “You look so good when you’re working hard like that.”  
  
“Mmm, I don’t mind at all. I missed you yesterday, Lena.” Kara began rubbing Lena’s back then moving them down to cup her ass. Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own.  
  
“Oh God, we better get out of here before things get out of hand - pun intended.” Lena grinned at her joke.  
  
“Yeah, there are a lot of staff here today, why don’t we go for a ride so we can have some privacy?” Kara said.  
  
“Most definitely.” Lena smiled.  
  
As they rode, Lena told Kara about her dinner with Lex. She was right, he did want to talk away from their parents. Lex told her about the anti-alien group he was working with at college. He had decided that Lena would be a great addition given her expertise in chemistry and technology.  
  
“He just assumed I felt the way he does about aliens. When I told him I would never join his group and that I thought he was making a mistake, he got very angry at me. Like, angrier than I’ve seen him in a long time. It really worries me.”  
  
“Are you going to tell your parents?”  
  
“No, they can’t do anything about it. Mother probably feels the same way. I’ve heard her make comments that make me wonder. What I am going to do is hack his computer sometime when he’s away from the house. I can’t stop him from being in the group, but I can try to find out what they're up to. If it’s illegal I may be able to stop them from doing something really dangerous.”  
  
“I’m really glad to hear you are pro-alien. It’s amazing that you want to try to stop him from hurting someone. Please be careful, he sounds a bit unbalanced.”  
  
“My brother’s still in there. I think I can help him find his way back. I want to try. It’s hard because he shuts me out. And I’m not pro-alien, I’m pro-equality. I think we should all have the same rights. Aliens should not be treated as second class citizens any more than gay, transgender, or people of different races should be treated differently.”  
  
They rode quietly for a while. Then Kara spoke up again. “Sorry about Lex, Lena. I know that must be hard. I don’t know what I would do without Alex to talk to.”  
  
“Thanks. It is lonely without him.”  
  
Kara thought Lena seemed down and clearly didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so she changed the subject. She told Lena all about her meeting with James and the school paper team.  
  
“Wow, Kara, I’m impressed. You really made that happen quickly and I can tell by how excited you are that it’s going to be a good experience for you.”  
  
“Thanks, I really appreciate your idea about the paper. It’s like a whole new world just opened up for me.”  
  
“That’s fantastic, I’m very happy for you.”  
  
‘I also practiced my jumps yesterday. I worked on all the techniques you taught me and it really made a difference, I can tell I’m improving.”  
  
"That's wonderful, Kara! We should work together again soon."  
  
"That would be great!"  
  
“So, did you think about me while you were practicing?”  
  
“Of course. I was remembering your hands on me...”  
  
“Mmmm, I can’t wait to get my hands on you again.” She grinned. “So I really helped with your form?”  
  
“Yes, I felt like I was really getting into a rhythm with the horse and the jumps, almost like we were moving as one. I really appreciate all you taught me.”  
  
“Sounds like you’ve been a very good girl, Kara.” Lena said, smirking.” I think you deserve a reward.”  
  
Kara gulped, wondering what Lena had in mind. The way Lena said it made Kara think she would like it quite a bit.  
  
They got to the clearing where they had stopped during their last ride and without talking about it they both pulled their horses to a halt.  
  
“I’m thirsty, Kara. Do you have anything for me?” Lena asked in a teasing voice.  
  
“You can have anything you want.” Kara said in a low voice, remembering what Lena told her about the double meaning of ‘thirsty’.  
  
“I was only teasing, Kara. You don't need to give me anything but a drink of water. Unless there's something else that you want...” Lena asked.  
  
“Lena, I really want to give you anything you want. I want to make you feel good. I want you to tell me what makes you feel good.”  
  
“You, Kara. Whenever I’m with you, you make me feel good. And we aren’t going to do anything you aren’t ready for. We’re going to take all the time you need. I'm enjoying the time I spend with you, Kara. It's such a refreshing change for me. You don't need to give me anything more. Sorry if I've made you feel that way. It's just that I get so turned on by you, sometimes it's hard not to let that show. ”  
  
They dismounted and Kara pulled the blanket and water out of her saddlebag. She laid it out among the trees rather than in the middle of the clearing like last time, thinking it would help Lena feel less visible. Kara knew she would hear someone coming well before they would reach the clearing, but Lena couldn’t know that. Kara felt nervous but excited. They sat side by side on the blanket and Kara took her hand.  
  
“Lena, I can’t stop thinking about you when I don’t get to see you. At night I lie awake, imagining touching your body, feeling your lips on mine, your breasts under my tongue. Your skin makes my blood hum, I can feel it pumping harder just holding your hand.”  
  
“Jesus, Kara, you’re making me crazy, come here and kiss me.”  
  
With that Kara surged forward, but was careful not to climb on top of Lena and get off balance the way she had before. Instead she wrapped her arms around carefully around her and eased her back onto the blanket. She continued kissing her as she slid her hands out from under her and began to unbutton Lena’s blouse. She couldn’t wait to see and touch her breasts again. Once her blouse was laid open Kara stopped kissing her and sat up. She wanted to be able to see her fully. She ran her hands lightly down Lena’s throat, down her collarbone to the top of her breasts. She studied the clasp of her bra closely and managed to unhook it without being too awkward. She gazed at Lena’s bare chest in awe.  
  
“Please, touch me, Kara.” Lena begged.  
  
Kara leaned down with reverence, softly kissing and licking her breasts.  
  
“Ahh!” Lena gasped. “Fuck, your tongue feels so good…” Lena tangled her fingers through the back of Kara's hair and urged her on.  
  
Kara covered every inch of her breasts, taking her time to lavish each of them with attention as Lena arched and moaned beneath her.  
  
“God, Lena, your skin tastes so good. I can’t get enough. I can’t get close enough to you.”  
  
Lena began to unbutton Kara’s flannel shirt and slide her hands inside. Kara gasped at the contact.  
  
“Lean closer, Kara, I want to undo your bra.”  
  
As Kara leaned closer Lena slid one hand around Kara’s back and easily unhooked her bra.  
  
“Wow, you’re really good at that! I guess you’ve had a lot of practice.” Kara said, starting to feel insecure again at that reminder of how experienced Lena was.  
  
“It’s true, Kara, I have been with a lot of people. But can’t you see you’re the one that I want? Can’t you see how strongly my body responds to you?”  
  
“Yes, I guess sometimes I wonder if that’s just because I’m the one that’s here now. You’re so far away from your other friends.”  
  
Lena got very quiet before eventually speaking softly and stroking Kara’s cheek. “I admit that when I first met you all I wanted to do was climb you like a tree. Sorry, I mean jump your bones. Wait, to say it more plainly, I wanted to have sex with you from the moment I laid eyes you. But as I got to know you, I discovered you aren’t just gorgeous, but also a beautiful, caring person. I realized how inexperienced you are and I started to worry about how you felt. That’s not usually something that I consider to be my problem. I really want you, Kara, but I think you might not be ready. Your first time is a big deal and can be very emotional. Maybe we need to wait. I can tell you’re worried. I just want you to feel good.”  
  
“I am ready, Lena. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I’ve been doing some research, too. I’ve been feeling awkward about being so different from most girls, but also worried that I won’t be able to make you feel good. I really do want to try. Sorry if I got distracted thinking about who you’ve been with - it’s nothing to do with me.”  
  
“Kara, let’s go back. We can go out for some coffee, talk more about this with our clothes on.”  
  
Kara panicked at the thought of stopping and getting dressed. “No, please! I’m good, please Lena, I don’t want to stop.” She slid her bra up over her own breasts and lowered her body so that her breasts were touching Lena’s. They both gasped aloud at the contact.  
  
“God, Kara, you feel so good!” Kara moved down to support herself on her elbows so that she was putting her exposed chest against Lena’s naked skin, but kept her pelvis away from her. She was already completely hard, and she didn’t want her cock to come in contact with Lena. She wanted to keep under control as long as she could, and she knew if she moved against Lena she would get too worked up too fast. Kara began kissing the side of her neck and up along her jaw. She could feel Lena tugging at her shirt to get it off, but it was impossible with Kara’s arms supporting herself on the ground.  
  
“Please, take this off! I need to see you and feel you without this in the way.” Lena pleaded.  
  
Kara sat up again and quickly pulled off her shirt.  
  
“The bra, too.” Lena demanded.  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” Kara grinned.  
  
“Good girl.” Lena smirked. “Now get back down here!”  
  
First Kara moved to slide Lena’s blouse the rest of the way off. Lena leaned up so Kara could free her arms from her sleeves and bra. Kara hesitated again as she felt she needed to stop and take in the sight fully. Now that she could see Lena’s breasts, shoulders, and neck all bare at once she was struck once again by her beauty.  
  
Lena began dragging her nails across Kara’s abdomen, waking Kara out of her daze.  
  
“Someday you’ll tell me what lab they cooked you up in.” Lena said with a smirk as she continued scratching her nails along Kara's abs.  
  
Kara laughed self-consciously. Lena talking about her being created in a lab was a reminder of how different her story really was. She realized if Lena did learn of her origins she would probably feel Kara had lied to her by not telling her. But she felt she would be betraying her family if she told Lena. Still, with so much beauty before her Kara reminded herself not to get distracted. Suddenly she felt Lena shoving against her abdomen.  
  
“Kara lay down, I need to put my mouth on you. Now.” Lena pushed her off and back as she climbed on top of Kara. She began kissing Kara’s abdomen, licking along the definition of her muscles. She moved up until she reached the bottom edge of Kara’s breasts, then kissed and licked until she reached a nipple and sucked it hard into her mouth.  
  
“Oh, God!” Kara called out. She moved her hands to Lena’s hair and held it against her breast. She’d never felt anything like this and she didn’t want it to stop.  
  
Lena pulled back for a second. “Still doing OK?”  
  
“God, yes, please, keep doing that!”  
  
Lena laughed and dove back in with her tongue and lips, covering Kara’s breasts and collar with her mouth. Kara’s head lolled back against the blanket. But as Lena began to lower herself further to get closer and more comfortable, Kara felt Lena's body move against her cock. She raised her head to see what was happening, and realized Lena’s breasts were surrounding her cock, rubbing it as Lena moved. It only served to make her harder, if that was possible. The feeling was incredible, she never wanted it to stop, but at the same time she panicked and started to sit up.  
  
Lena moved her hand and pushed on the center of her chest to stop Kara from leaning further forward and sitting up. She raised her head so she could look into Kara’s eyes. She was trying to catch her breathe and was obviously struggling to stop herself. “Kara, I’m going to do whatever you want. But before you ask me to stop, just think about whether that’s what you really want. I know you’re getting close and maybe you feel embarrassed about cumming, or just aren’t ready to experience that with another person. If you aren’t ready then just tell me that. We can be back at the barn in no time. But if you’re embarrassed about cumming, we can work through that together. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You have a beautiful body. Being different just makes you more special. And having an orgasm is also a beautiful thing. But if you aren’t ready then we’ll stop.”  
  
Kara struggled, her body driving hard to keep going while her mind fought to slow down. She was afraid of losing control, and hurting Lena. And it didn’t feel right for her to cum before Lena. All her planning and research had been about how to please her.  
  
“I just, can we…can I try to make you cum? I’ve been dreaming of hearing you call my name the way you did that night when I came to your house. To make you feel so good that you call my name, that you lose control and forget where you are. You’re making me feel so good, Lena. I’ve never felt anything like this. But I just…need to touch you now. I need to taste you and push you over the edge. Please, Lena.”  
  
“Oh, Kara. We can definitely work with that.” Lena said and crawled off of her. She laid down and smiled her knowing smile. “I’m ready when you are.”  
  
Kara felt such relief. There was still a lot of pressure in her jeans, her cock was straining and uncomfortable. But she knew she could handle that. She had her chance to please Lena, and she was not going to miss her shot.


	17. It's a Mad Mission

Kara tried to catch her breath and get herself under control as Lena laid down before her. She didn’t want to get distracted this time, she wanted to get to her center, to make her lose control and come apart under her tongue and fingers. She moved in quickly to cover Lena’s body with her own. She didn’t want Lena to wait a moment. She immediately began kissing her deeply on the mouth as their bare skin and nipples moved together.  
  
“Lena, I want you so badly. Please, let me taste you.”  
  
“Yes, yes, I want to feel your mouth on me. I want to feel you inside me, please.” Lena begged.  
  
At that Kara began sliding her tongue down her neck, moving slowly with kisses and licks, wanting to taste every part of her. She licked around the curve of her breasts and sucked her nipples roughly into her mouth. She leaned up to unbutton Lena’s pants and slide them down reverently, watching with amazement as more of Lena's body was revealed to her. She decided she shouldn’t take her pants all the way off, in case someone would come down the trail she could get dressed more quickly. It was unlikely, and Kara would hear them from a distance, but she thought maybe Lena would feel less exposed. With her pants around her ankles, Lena was a glorious sight. Her knees were bent, with her legs parted. Kara had seen her legs when she wore a skirt on their date, but to have her nearly naked, in just her silk red panties on the ground before her was an incredible, powerful feeling. She couldn’t wait to have Lena writhing and moaning under her. She slid her hands from her knees up her thighs then leaned back down to resume kissing her breasts. She moved steadily down her stomach, kissing a trail towards her panties. As her tongue edged the top Lena’s panties, she moved her hands around Lena's hips and slid her fingers into the top of her panties, waiting for Lena’s permission. Lena lifted up so that Kara could slide thekkm down and finally reach her. Kara was overwhelmed at the sight and smell of Lena. The sight of her cunt, wet and open for her was mesmerizing.  
  
“Lena, are you sure about this?”  
  
“Am I sure I want you to touch me and taste me? Am I sure I want you inside me?” Lena asked.  
  
“Yes, I guess, all of that.”  
  
“Kara, I’ve been wanting this since I laid eyes on you. Now that I know you that is doubly true. I’m ready for anything you are.” With her chest heaving up and down Lena was clearly not as nonchalant about it as she wanted to be, but Kara could tell she was trying to take the pressure off as much as she could, clearly fighting against the drives of her body.  
  
With that, Kara pushed Lena's legs further apart and dove with her tongue to taste her. She rolled her tongue down until she could feel Lena’s clit beneath her tongue and began gently licking and circling it. Kara was a bit overwhelmed at the realization that she had her tongue on Lena's clit. The sounds Lena made drove her on to keep going. She wanted to do any thing she could to keep hearing the breathless gasps and pleas as Lena began to move more frantically against her tongue.  
  
“Oh, God, yes!” Lena called out as Kara continued to move her tongue around Lena’s clit, possibly blurring the line between human and super speed. Lena reached down and put her hand on the back of Kara’s head and started to move her hips back and forth against her mouth. Kara could feel Lena’s clit getting engorged against her tongue and could hear how desperate she was getting. She had stopped thinking about her cock and the driving need she felt to relieve that pressure, and was able to focus entirely on making Lena cum. It was all she cared about. Her tongue moved in response to Lena’s movements and sounds. By instinct she slid her fingers to find Lena’s opening. She moved her fingers until she found it and gently teased around her entrance, a bit nervous about pushing too hard inside her. Lena began to groan loudly and plead with Kara to move inside her. Kara could feel how wet Lena was and hear how much she wanted her. Finally, she slid her fingers inside slowly as Lena gasped and writhed in pleasure.  
  
“Yes! Yes, Kara, please, fuck me! You feel so good inside me.” As Lena started moving hard and steadily faster against Kara’s fingers, she added a third finger and began driving them deeper and forward, pressuring the spongy spot on Lena’s front wall, which she read was especially sensitive. Based on Lena’s response to that it seemed to be true.   
  
"Oh, fuck, yes!" Lena moved harder and faster against her fingers. "God, you're fucking me so good" The noises Lena made drove Kara harder. She kept her tongue tight against her clit, and continued driving her fingers deep could. She could tell it felt good to her and didn't hurt as Lena's voice started getting higher. She kept repeating 'oh' and Kara's name over and over. Finally, she could feel Lena starting to clench around her fingers. She gyrated and groaned until she came and gushed all over Kara’s fingers. Her orgasm seemed to go on a while as she slowed down but continued to move against Kara's hand. Kara kept here fingers inside, relishing the feeling of Lena throbbing and squeezing around her fingers as she let up on her clit but continued to lick and kiss her gently. She couldn't help but fantasize about what it would feel like to have Lena squeezing around her cock. Before long Lena eased her fingers out, telling Kara she had become too sensitive.  
  
Kara sat back and marveled at what had happened. She moved her fingers to her mouth to lick her taste from her fingers. "You taste so good, Lena."  
  
Lena's fingers seemed to get jealous and she reached up to run them over over Kara’s lips and tongue. Kara began to lick and suck Lena's fingers.  
  
“God, I love your mouth. I don’t know when I’ve cum like that. You fucked me so good.” She pulled her fingers back and seemed very limp and boneless as she collapsed against the blanket. “How did you learn to do that?”  
  
“Umm, the Internet? What can I say, I’m a highly motivated student.” Kara laughed. She was elated. She knew she'd made Lena feel really good. She felt so good to make her cum that she didn’t care that her cock was straining so hard and getting no attention as Lena seemed to be drifting out of consciousness. Kara laughed with wonder and settled down on her back as Lena she started to squirm and cuddle against her. Kara had never seen Lena like this, she seemed almost vulnerable. Kara thought she must have done well for Lena to let go this way. Kara wrapped her arms tightly around Lena as she laid her head down on Kara's chest. Kara bent her neck to kiss the top of her head and caressed her hair. "That was beautiful, Lena. Thank you."  
  
"No, thank you, Kara. You're incredible."  
  
Eventually Lena rolled on to her back and pulled her panties and pants up, then leaned over Kara, moving towards her mouth.  
  
“Now it’s my turn. Or your turn, depending on how you look at it.” Lena giggled, she seemed to be on a high from her orgasm.  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere Kara heard someone coming from far down the trail. Without her super hearing she would never heard it, so Lena had no idea. By the chatter she could tell that Cisco was coming down the trail with Barry.  
  
“Lena, wait! I’m really sorry, but I think Lionel may have sent riders to look for you. Or else Cisco and Barry just happen to be trail riding together, which never happens.”  
  
“Really? I don’t hear anything. Are you sure this isn’t an excuse so I don’t get to take care of you? You don’t have to do that Kara, you can just tell me you aren’t ready.”  
  
“I know, but we really do have to get out of here. We need to take the far loop back so we don’t run into them and we need to ride like hell. Barry usually works the early shift and I don't really know him very well. I’m not sure he would cover for us.”  
  
“OK, let’s get out of here.” Lena said, reluctantly. They both scurried to get their bras and tops back on and mount their horses.  
  
“Race you back!” Lena called as Kara once again resigned herself to another ride with a raging hard-on.  
  
They galloped at top speed back to the corral. They dismounted and took the horses quickly into the barn. Kara moved to take Lena’s horse.  
  
“You should get back as quickly as you can.” She said.  
  
“Wait, I can’t hear them yet, we have time for one kiss.” She grasped Kara’s shirt and pushed her against the horse as she kissed her hard. Kara couldn’t resist opening her mouth for Lena’s tongue to move deep inside.  
  
Lena stopped kissing but kept her mouth against Kara's. She began feeling her way down the front of Kara’s body, She slid her hand down Kara’s abs, down to her jeans. She slowly moved her hand over the top of Kara’s jeans, rubbing through them to feel her cock. Kara couldn’t move or speak for a moment. Then she went to grab Lena’s hand to move it away, knowing she had to get home before the guys got back. But instead of pushing her hand away Kara found herself pushing Lena’s hand harder against her, moving it up and down the outline of her cock.  
  
Lena smiled against Kara’s mouth at that. “You poor baby, you're so fucking hard." Lena breathed heavily into Kara's mouth. "You did so good. I can’t wait to get my hands on you. And my mouth.” She licked into Kara's mouth started squeezing her cock tighter through her jeans. At that point Kara could hear the boys again in the far off woods.  
  
“Lena, you’ve really got to go!” Kara said and then she really did pull Lena’s hand away, even though every ounce of her being wanted her to continue.  
  
“OK, I’m off.” As Lena jogged to the edge of the corral she turned back for a moment.  
  
“Call me tonight?”  
  
“Yes!” Kara said, laughing to herself in amazement and excitement about what had just happened.  
  
As soon as Lena was out of sight Kara sped into the woods between the ranch and her house, using super speed to avoid the boys. She didn't want to give them a chance to ask her any questions, especially not with Barry there. She wasn't sure how he would react if he found out she was out with Lena. When she got deeper into the woods she leaned heavily against a large tree. She quickly began to unbutton her jeans, she couldn't really stop herself; no one was within sight or hearing. She quickly pulled out her cock and began to stroke it. It was such a relief, she felt like she had been hard and holding back for hours. She imagined Lena under her, her taste, the way she was arching and moaning beneath her tongue. She remembered Lena calling out and pleading as she got closer to her orgasm and finally, when she let go, gushing out around Kara's hand, then cuddling into her side She pictured herself moving over on top of her, sliding her cock close to Lena's cunt. At that Kara couldn't hold out any longer, her cock began to spurt cum across the forest floor. She watched in amazement at how far it shot and how much there was. Still, after recovering for a only a minute or two she started thinking again about Lena cumming and soon found the pressure returning to her cock. Just the image of Lena naked, laying together with their bare chests rubbing together and kissing her deeply made Kara hard all over again. After a few strokes she came again and only then felt like she was coming down from the experience of making Lena cum like that.  
  
***  
  
After 10:00 pm Kara snuck her phone into her bedroom, since Alex was still out. She dialed Lena's number and waited patiently for her to pick up.  
  
"Kara!" Lena said in a whisper when she answered.  
  
"How did you know it was me?"  
  
"I saved your number into my phone."  
  
"Wow." Kara said, realizing how little she knew about phones. "Is everything OK? Did you get in trouble?"  
  
"Everything's fine, they didn't say anything directly to me about it. But they are definitely suspicious. I could tell at dinner they kept glancing at each other and asking leading questions."  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble."  
  
"Ha! Oh you caused trouble alright! You made it hard for me to concentrate on anything except dreaming about your skin on mine. Imagining you inside me...your perfect mouth..." Lena whspered.  
  
"Oh God, Lena! I can't think about anything else either."  
  
"Kara, I'm sorry, I would love to keep talking but I have hang up. They are definitely keeping an eye on me. I think I better stay away from the ranch for a few days. I could meet you on Friday. Mother and Father are going into town for a business dinner. They wanted me to go but I told them no f'ing way."  
  
"So we can ride on Friday?"  
  
"Yes. How early can you get there?"  
  
"If I come right after school I can be there by 4:00."  
  
"OK, I'll see you then, Kara."  
  
"OK, see you soon. I'll miss you, Lena."  
  
"I'll miss you too, Kara. Sweet dreams."  
  
"Sweet dreams, Lena."  
  
***  
  
There was still no sign of Alex at midnight. Kara thought about asking Eliza about it, but she didn't want to cause trouble for Alex. _Alex was a responsible girl and she likely has a good reason for being out,_ she tried to tell herself. It was well after 1:00 when Alex tried to sneak into their room. She didn't have a chance given her roommate had super hearing and the fact that she nailed her shin on the Kara's bed frame.  
  
"Motherfucker!" She whisper-yelled when she hit the frame hard.  
  
"Alex, are you OK?" Kara hadn't really fallen asleep.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." She said and stumbled into her bed.  
  
"Are you sure? Your voice sounds funny."  
  
"I'm fine, Kara! Just go to sleep, please."  
  
Kara wanted to ask more, but she could tell Alex didn't want to talk. She tried to lay still and willed herself to fall asleep. She realized this was a time Alex probably really wished for her own room back so she could have some privacy. About a half an hour later Kara could hear Alex sobbing very quietly in her bed. Kara tried to stay still, but she couldn't stand hearing her suffer. She crept over to her bed.  
  
"Alex? Please, is there anything I can do to help? What happened?"  
  
"Kara, there's nothing you can do. I'll be fine, I just need some space, OK?"  
  
"OK." Kara said, unconvinced. She took Alex's hand and just held it.  
  
That seemed to make Alex cry more, so Kara just sat there. After a while Alex took her hand back to blow her nose.  
  
Eventually she seemed to give up on holding out against Kara. "So, Vicki's mom walked in on us in her room tonight."  
  
"Oh no, Alex, I'm so sorry! So she was really upset?"  
  
"Beyond. Beyond what I imagined. All Vicki's fears were confirmed. I guess I secretly hoped she was wrong about her parents reaction, but clearly she wasn't."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"Well, basically her mom and dad forbid us from seeing each other. I tried to argue with them for a bit, but Vicki was just kind of frozen and not joining in. Once I left I called her and we talked for a long time. I tried to convince her we needed to push back, but she sounded pretty resigned. Bottom line is she doesn't want to fight for us. So we broke up."  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Alex." Kara took her hand again and just held it. She wished she could somehow take the pain away from Alex and carry it herself.  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"No. It's over. I just have to accept that."  
  
"You should really talk to your parents. Now that Vicki's parents know you don't have to worry about them finding out from anyone else. I know they would know how to help. Better than I do, anyway." Kara felt totally helpless, not knowing what to do.  
  
"I just need to sleep now, Kara. I had too much to drink."  
  
"OK. Well, wake me up if you need anything. Do you want some water or something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Kara ran to get water and when she set it down on the table by Alex bedside she saw an open bottle of whiskey. Alex must have brought it in with her.  
  
"Anything else I can get you?"  
  
"No, let's just go to sleep. It'll all seem better in the morning. Isn't that what they say?"  
  
"I have no idea what they say, but it sounds good."  
  
Alex laughed darkly. "Goodnight, Kara."  
  
"Good night, Alex." She laid there for a moment, then said, "I love you."  
  
Alex was quiet and Kara thought she probably said the wrong thing again. Then she heard, "I love you, too, Kara. Go to sleep."  
  
***  
  
Hours later Kara woke with a start. She had a sense that something was wrong, but couldn't figure it out right away. She sat up and looked around. She saw that Alex was not in her bed. She waited a bit thinking Alex had gone to the bathroom. After a while she looked around the room and saw the bottle of whiskey gone as well. She began to look through the house thinking Alex might be passed out in a different room and she should carry her back to bed.  
  
When she didn't find Alex anywhere in the house she started to panic. Had she gotten drunk and driven somewhere? Where would she go? Maybe over to Vicki's to see if she could talk to her? But she had said it was over, and she sounded pretty resigned about that. Then Kara suddenly realized where she must be. She felt sure Alex had gone to the water tower. That's where she said she went when she wanted to get away to think. Or to escape a roommate when she just wanted space. In a moment Kara was out the front door and tearing down the road at a dead run.  
  
As she reached the woods near the tower she slowed down before cutting through. She couldn't hear anything and thought for a second she had overreacted. Still, she had to see for herself so she darted in and out through the trees and over the brush until coming out on the other side. From a far distance she could clearly see the outline of a figure leaning against the tower rail.  
  
"Don't lean on that rail, it's not safe!  
  
"Kara, for fuck's sake, can't you leave me alone for one minute?" Alex stood up slowly from the rail and leaned against the water tank instead.  
  
"I'm sorry, Alex, I was just worried. You just seemed so down and when I woke up you were gone! Will you please come down? I promise I won't say anything, we can just go home, quietly."  
  
Alex continued to lean against the tank, then took a big drink from her bottle. She drained it and then looked at it like it had betrayed her. The empty bottle seemed to make her even more angry, and she cocked her arm back and threw it towards the woods with all her strength. She was wobbly in her drunken state and as she launched the bottle her body went too far forward and she hit the rail hard, knocking lose one of the bars. She lost her balance and pitched forward.  
  
Kara watched in horror as Alex started to fall head first from the tower. She felt so far away, she moved into her top speed. All she could think about was getting to Alex as fast as she could. She managed to reach her and catch her in her arms, then held her close to her chest. She was so relieved.  
  
"Kara, what the hell!" Alex screamed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm squeezing you too hard, I was just so scared I wouldn't be able to catch you!"  
  
"That's not what I'm screaming about - look around! We're not touching the ground!"  
  
Kara looked around and saw that it was true. They were in mid-air, about 3 meters off the ground. They immediately began dropping straight down. They hit the ground hard but Kar absorbed the jolt, then gently set Alex on her feet,.  
  
"Kara." Alex was breathing heavily and seemed to be wrapping her mind around the situation. "Kara. You flew!."  
  
Kara was frozen, still not really believing what had happened, and having no idea how it had happened.  
  
"How did you do that?"  
  
"I'm not sure. I just...had to get to you. I had to save you. I guess that was the best way to do it."  
  
"Wow." Alex said. "Do you think you can do it again?"  
  
"I don't know, but I'm sure going to try! Not tonight though. We should really get back."  
  
"God, what an idiot I am!" Alex said, looking up at the tower. The fall seemed to help sober her up quickly.  
  
"You're not an idiot, you just needed some space from your idiot sister. You needed a place to think."  
  
"Why am I so upset about a girl? It just really hurts. I think I'm in love with her, Kara."  
  
"I know it hurts. But I also know it will get better. I know that doesn't help right now though."  
  
"No. But drinking myself blind doesn't either. Anyway, that fall sobered me up. I think I saw my life flash before my eyes."  
  
"Really? Did you see some weird alien invade it there at the end?"  
  
"No. But I did see a new sister come in and shake up my quiet little world. And then she saved my life." Alex laughed. "Thanks, Kara."  
  
"Alex, I'd do anything for you. I'm so glad you're OK."  
  
"You know, flying could come in really handy..." Alex mused. "Just don't say anything to Mom and Dad yet, it's just going to worry them."  
  
"Agreed, I don't even know if I can do it on purpose yet, no need to worry them just yet." Kara said.  
  
"Come on, let's get home, Supergirl." Alex said, putting her arm around Kara's shoulder and tugging her.  
  
"Whatever you say, sis." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People are commenting that Kara is making a mistake by not telling Lena she’s an alien – and everyone is absolutely right! Even though this is an AU I’m trying to have them be true to how I interpret their characters on the show. One thing Kara hasn’t done is come out to Lena, even though it’s beyond ridiculous at this point and could irreparably damage their relationship if she finds out, which I’m sure she will eventually. In my story Kara feels this would be a betrayal to her family, and maybe even dangerous for them. She trusts Lena but knows there is a lot she doesn’t know about her. Maybe she will change her mind, but at this point she feels she really can’t risk it. And she does feel guilty about pursuing the relationship without telling her, but can’t help herself. 
> 
> BTW, if anyone has suggestions for tags please send. Thank you for reading and commenting!


	18. Chomping at The Bit

The next couple of days crawled by for Kara. She couldn’t wait to see Lena and experience more of the new sensations of feeling her naked skin, tasting her, feeling her cum and call her name. She tried not to get distracted and stay focused at work and school, and even though she daydreamed of Lena quite a bit, she was feeling much more in control of her body’s reactions.  
  
She spent time after school with the team from the school paper, mostly helping M’gann working on layouts. She really liked them all, especially James, who she thought did a great job leading the team. She appreciated that most of the paper staff had progressive, pro-LGBTQ and pro-alien views. She felt she could talk freely about her ideas and they were considered valid. She started pitching ideas for stories and got to contribute to copy editing when those ideas were selected.  
  
She and Alex would talk late into the night about her break up. She was really missing Vicki and was struggling not to try and get in touch. She knew it was a bad idea to pursue someone who wasn’t willing to stand up for the relationship. Still, she couldn’t help but hope Vicki would change her mind. Kara felt helpless, not knowing what to say or do to make things better for Alex. Sometimes she would cry and Kara would just hold her late into the night. Alex still didn’t want to talk to Eliza or Jeremiah since she had promised Vicki she wouldn’t, but they could tell something was wrong and were clearly concerned.  
  
By the time Friday rolled around Kara was about to jump out of her skin with excitement to see Lena. It was her last day before holiday break, she wondered if they'd be able to spend more time together now that she didn't have to be in school. She knew there would still be the problem of Lena's parents and needing to be very careful, still she couldn't help but hope she could see her more. Lena was already there when Kara arrived, it seemed she was excited to see Kara as well. When they saw each other they were both careful to act casual and not to give anything away, unsure of who might be watching them. She was leaning against the corral fence when Kara strode up.  
  
“Ready to ride?” Kara asked.  
  
“Absolutely.” Lena said quietly, her trademark smirk firmly in place.  
  
“Let me guess, my question had a double meaning and sexual connotation?” Kara said with a grin.  
  
“Oh, you better believe it.” Lena said suggestively. “Just think about it for a minute. What might I be ready to ride if I’m not talking about a horse?”  
  
Kara thought about it for a minute then got bright red. “Oh, wow.” She said in a reverent tone as it dawned on her that Lena was talking about riding her instead of a horse. She could feel her cock starting to twitch at the thought, and she hadn’t even touched Lena yet.  
  
“Shall we go then?” Lena said with a wicked grin.  
  
“Absolutely.” Kara returned.  
  
They had been talking quietly and staying a good distance from each other, but when they got inside the barn and out of view, Lena headed into one of the empty stalls instead of going for her horse. Kara was confused but she followed behind, remembering another time when Lena dragged her into an empty stall, which she enjoyed very much. As she rounded the door Lena was on her, pushing her against the wall of the stall and covering Kara’s mouth with her own. Their kiss was all tongue and teeth, they were both so desparate to feel each other. Without even thinking, Kara had pulled Lena’s hips close and pressed their bodies tightly together. She had missed the feeling of Lena’s body so much.  
  
“Sorry, I just couldn’t wait for a chance to kiss you.” Lena said as they let up for air. “And I can tell you’re very happy to see me.” She smiled and slid her hand between their bodies, sliding down Kara’s stomach and over her jeans to rub her hand along the outline of Kara's hardening cock.  
  
“God, Lena, your hand feels so good on me.” Kara started breathing heavily, her eyes closing at the intense sensation of Lena’s hand tightening around her.  
  
“Just wait till I get you out of these jeans.” Lena said, stroking her up and down, clearly enjoying the power of making Kara hard. She smiled into Kara's mouth and continued to stroke her through her jeans.  
  
“We better get out of here.” She said, but didn't move at all, clearly reluctant to stop Lena from what she was doing.  
  
Just then someone entered the barn and they both froze. They waited until they heard whoever it was leave.  
  
“That was close! Let's go.” Lena said, kissing Kara lightly on the mouth and taking her hand away.  
  
Kara immediately missed the feeling and moved quickly to get the horses ready.  
  
They decided they should take a different trail than they usually did, just in case someone was sent after them. They enjoyed seeing the new scenery and getting caught up with each other after a few days apart.  
  
“So, my big plan of hacking into Lex’s computer was foiled! He left for a skiing trip with friends from school and took his computer with him. But after he gets back he’ll have to stay home, it’s too close to Christmas.” Lena said.  
  
Christmas. Kara reminded herself that this was the most important holiday for most Americans. She’d noticed the excitement around the Danvers house. They had such nostalgia for the holiday and the season – all based on years of memories that Kara didn’t have. She tried to generate that kind of excitement, but mainly she was just excited for them since her family was excited and it clearly meant so much to them. She’d heard about the tradition of giving presents to friends and family and she had been wracking her brain about what to get Eliza, Jeremiah, and Alex. Suddenly it occurred to her that she wanted to give something to Lena. Then she immediately thought Lena would think it silly. She definitely didn’t seem like the sentimental type.  
  
“What will your family do for Christmas?” Kara asked.  
  
“So far, it looks like we’ll be here. You never know with Mother. Sometimes she gets a wild hair.” Lena realized her mistake as she said it.  
  
“A wild hair? Do you mean like 'hair' on your head or a 'hare' as in a rabbit?” Kara asked.  
  
“Actually, I’m really not sure what it's derived from. Basically, it means she might get bored out here and suddenly decide to have Christmas somewhere fabulous. But Father knows Lex and I like to be here since this is the place we’ve been for many holidays, so I think he will push back.”  
  
“Well, I hope you stay.” Kara said, sadly.  
  
“Me too." Lena said wistfully. "The truth is…well, I want to spend as much time with you as I can before I go back to school.”  
  
‘Really?” Kara asked, incredulously.  
  
“Yes. It’s a scary thought, but, I have to admit that if I’m being honest with myself.” Lena said.  
  
“Why is it scary?”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess it’s been a while since I cared that much about who I was with. When you don’t care about anything, nothing can hurt you.”  
  
“I would never do anything to hurt you. I’d do anything to protect you.”  
  
Lena got quiet. Kara worried that she’d said the wrong thing again.  
  
“Sorry, sometimes I say things that are inappropriate and I don’t realize it.”  
  
“You didn’t say anything wrong, Kara. It’s just that so many things in our lives are out of our control. When it comes down to it, no one really cares how we feel about anything.”  
  
“Well, I care. I care how you feel.”  
  
“I care about you, too. I just, well, caring about someone comes with risk.”  
  
“I’m willing to take a risk to be with you.”  
  
“Hmm. Where did you come from anyway? How do you always know the exact right thing to say at the exact wrong time?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Never mind. I think it might be the other way around, anyway.”  
  
Kara stayed silent, thinking about the question about where she came from. She was so conflicted about telling Lena about her origins. Her family had told her in no uncertain terms that she couldn’t tell anyone, that it could put her and them at risk. It might even mean she couldn’t live with them anymore. That would be doubly true for telling a member of a powerful, wealthy family with an alien-hating brother. She understood that telling Lena would be the ultimate betrayal of her new family. But she also knew that Lena was struggling, her feelings making her feel vulnerable and afraid to trust. How would she feel if she found out Kara hadn't been honest with her? Kara’s heart wrenched as she committed again to staying quiet for the sake of her family, who had risked so much for her. Who, on a daily basis, made sacrifices to make a home for Kara. She knew the right thing for her to do was to walk away, to stop spending time with Lena now that she knew she also had feelings for Kara. But she knew at her core she didn’t have the strength to stay away from her.  
  
Kara looked into the distance and noticed a building.  
  
“Why don’t we check out that old barn over there?” She asked, determined to change the subject.  
  
“Old barn? Where?”  
  
Kata pointed into the distance then she realized Lena probably couldn’t see it yet.  
  
“Oh, maybe I probably imagined it, should we turn around? We're getting near the edge of your property.”  
  
“No, let’s just go a bit farther.”  
  
Of course, as they rode on the barn came into view for Lena.  
  
“Kara, there’s an old barn in the distance there. Is that what you were talking about?”  
  
“Oh, I’m not sure, maybe.” Kara murmured, worried that Lena would be suspicious that she had seen it from too far away.  
  
“Well, it looks like it’s beyond the property, but let’s go check it out!”  
  
They left their horses tied at the fences on the property boundary and jumped the fence. Lena started running into the barn trying to race Kara. Kara ran after her staying close behind and watched as Lena tripped on an old rake and started to pitch forward. Kara’s reflexes took over and she grabbed the back of Lena’s blouse and then wrapped her arms around her to slow her fall. Kara twisted their bodies in mid-air so that Kara landed on her back on a pile of hay while Lena’s body landed with a hard thump against her chest. It all happened so fast, Lena hardly had time to realize she was falling before she was in Kara's arms.  
  
“My hero. You saved me again.” Lena said, running her hands along Kara’s jaw and pulling her into a kiss. Then they both moved instinctively in the relief of finally being together. They’d been longing to touch and feel each other throughout the ride. Even when topics were serious, the underlying ache to touch never stopped. As they came together at last, their lips and tongues explored desperately. Lena began to unbutton Kara’s shirt, parting it and sliding her fingers over her skin. She began to move her fingers beneath Kara’s bra, grazing her nipples as she nipped and licked just below Kara’s jaw. Kara could feel herself losing control, so she moved her arms around Lena and rolled them until she was on top. She began to kiss her way down Lena’s neck and into her blouse, slowly unbuttoning it untill she could access her bra. Again, she held body at a distance as she unfastened Lena’s bra and began kissing down her throat and breasts.  
  
“Oh, fuck!” Lena cried as Kara took her nipple harshly into her mouth, sucking hard and biting lightly, then soothing it with her tongue. She remembered how Lena responded to her bites in the hayloft and wanted to experience that again.  
  
Kara continue holding herself away from Lena's body, but Lena bent her knee so that it came between Kara’s legs. She moved her thigh tight against Kara’s cock and started moving her hips up and down to rub along her shaft.  
  
“Ahh! Oh God, Lena, you’ve got to stop that or I’m going to cum!”  
  
“Kara, there's nothing wrong with that! Please, I don’t want this be another session of cock torture for you. You’re so hard, I can feel you through your jeans. Just, let me touch you.”  
  
Kara froze. She knew she was getting better control of her body, but she was still very worried about hurting Lena, she didn’t know how far Lena wanted to try to take things and she didn't know if she could stop herself. She also worried that Lena would be weirded out that she had male and female sex organs. Even if she’d been with girls and boys, Kara was sure she’d never seen anyone like her.  
  
“Come up here and kiss me.” Lena commanded.  
  
Kara leaned down and Lena kissed her slowly but deeply. She ran her hands gently through Kara’s hair and along her jaw, then held her chin as she looked her in the eye. “Please, baby. You make me feel so good. Let me take care of you now.” Then Lena kissed her lightly on the mouth.  
  
At the sound of Lena calling her ‘baby’ Kara realized she was completely powerless to say no to her. Lena seemed to understand she had broken through by the look on Kara’s face.  
  
“Now lay down.” She said and Kara started to obey.  
  
She pulled away from Lena, resting on her knees and trying to control her excitement at the thought of Lena touching her. But she needed to warn Lena first, she knew she couldn’t bear it if Lena reacted badly to seeing her.  
  
As Lena started to move towards her, Kara took hold of her arms and stopped her. “Lena, wait, I just need to tell you something first.”  
  
Lena froze and looked Kara in the eye. “OK, OK. I get it, Kara. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. It’s OK...”  
  
“It’s really not that. It’s just, well, you already know I’m different than other girls. But you don’t really understand how different."  
  
Lena looked at her with confusion and waited for her to continue.  
  
"It’s not just that I have a penis, it’s, ...well. I have both male and female reproductive organs…”  
  
Lena stopped and looked at Kara, surprise clearly registering on her face. For a minute she was speechless. Kara started to sit up and started wiggling away, feeling embarrassed.  
  
"I know, I'm a freak, I, can we go back now? I need to get home."  
  
Lena grabbed Kara's shirt to stop her as she moved away.  
  
"No! Kara, no. Please. Don't go. I was just surprised. I wasn't expecting that, but it's really OK. It's amazing, actually." She seemed to recover from her surprise. "Listen, I've been with girls and boys, so I have all the bases covered, you might say." Her smirk was back in place and it was reassuring to Kara. She didn't lay down, but she stopped trying to get away from Lena.  
  
Lena pushed against her chest and began kissing her gently, trying to get her to lay down on the hay. Eventually Kara relented and leaned back on her elbows while they continued kissing. Gradually Lena moved one of her legs forming a bridge over Kara’s stomach, not yet touching Kara’s body with hers. It seemed Lena was treating her like a wild animal, trying not to frighten her away.  
  
"Kara, it's you that I want, and I want all of you." Lena said as she started moving down her body.  
  
Kara was starting to feel a bit dizzy from all the kissing and stimulation. The relief of telling Lena helped her feel better, and she tried fervently to push away the thought that she hadn't really told Lena everything, that there was much more to tell. But she just wanted this, right now. She would worry about the rest later.  
  
Lena began slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons of Kara's shirt, then she carefully reached around to release Kara's bra. She slid her hands below Kara's shirt, caressing her sides and then moving to drag her nails across Kara's abs. Kara could see by the look on her face how much Lena loved doing that. She moved her hands up to Kara's shoulders and began pushing her further back on the hay. Finally, Kara gave up and laid down. Lena resumed kissing her and slowly worked her way down her throat, cupping her breasts with her hands and gently licking her nipples as Kara gasped, her breathing getting very heavy and her chest moved up and down. She tried hard to stay calm, but her senses were overloading.  
  
Lena was still hovering above Kara's body, not quite in contact apart from her hands and mouth. She began to lower her hips down as she continued kissing Kara's breasts until finally her body was coming into contact with Kara. As Lena pushed her pelvis down onto Kara's cock, Kara's hips jerked involuntarily, thrusting up into her.  
  
"Ahhh!" They both cried out as their bodies came together. Kara was overwhelmed by the heat of Lena surrounding her. Even through Lena's riding pants and her jeans, Kara could feel the heat and pressure of her body.  
  
"Oh fuck!" Lena called out as she began to grind onto Kara's cock. "Jesus, Kara. You feel so good." She pushed down hard against her, searching for friction to help with the desparate need that was taking hold of her.  
  
"Lena, wait! Wait, I'm getting too excited. I'm going to cum...."  
  
"Kara, please, I need it, I don't want to stop." Kara moved her hands to Lena's hips to support her and help her move as she started to ride harder against Kara, moving at a gradually faster pace until Kara could see she was losing control as well. The feeling of Lena's hot cunt moving tightly against her was driving Kara over the edge. She'd never felt something so intense and could tell she wouldn't last much longer, but knew it was hopeless for her to do anything but move harder, to get closer, to make Lena moan more.  
  
"Jesus, Kara, you're making me so wet!" Lena moaned as Kara started grunting and thrusting up into Lena. She felt her self get tighter, the pressure building until she felt like her cock was exploding, and finally she felt herself releasing a stream of hot cum inside her jeans.  
  
"Aaahh, Lena!" She cried out as cum continued to spray and Lena began moving even faster against her until at last she called out for Kara.  
  
"God, Kara, I'm cumming!" She groaned as collapsed forward onto Kara's chest, still continuing to grind against her, but slowing down. Kara moved her hands up around Lena's back and pulled her tight to her chest. Lena laid her head down against Kara's shoulder, her mouth against Kara's throat as they both tried to catch their breath. Kara was unable to form a thought for several moments, her head spinning in pleasure as she collapsed against the hay but still holding tightly to Lena.  
  
Kara began running her fingers through Lena's hair, then leaned up to kiss her on top of her head.  
  
"Say it again, Lena."  
  
"Say what again?"  
  
Kara was quiet. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't know how to ask for it.  
  
"Never mind, I'm being silly. That was amazing, Lena. I've never felt anything like that."  
  
Lena continued cuddling in to her, like her body was boneless and she was melting into Kara.  
  
"You want me to call you 'baby' again, don't you? I could see how you reacted to that."  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry, I'm being overally emotional, I know you were afraid that would happen."  
  
"It's OK, Kara. Honestly, that's not usually how I talk to some one I'm trying to seduce, but it seems I have a hard time controlling myself around you." Lena lifted herself up on her arm to hover over Kara. "Baby." She caressed Kara's chin and kissed her gently.  
  
Kara responded, easing her mouth open to feel Lena's lips and tongue. She started to feel overwhelmed as they continued to kiss softly. She could feel a tear slide down her face and hoped Lena wouldn't notice. But as Lena continued to caress her face she felt the wetness and pulled back.  
  
"Are you OK, Kara? Are you upset about what we did?"  
  
"No. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, I'm sorry. You were right, it is an emotional experience to have all these new sensations with someone else."  
  
"Kara, it's totally normal to feel that way. What you experienced is an amazing thing." Lena wiped the tears from Kara's cheek. "Thanks for trusting me. I've been wanting to feel you cum for so long. The look on your face, you're so beautiful when you lose control like that."  
  
"But it's not just that, Lena." Kara said, staying serious. "It's much more than that. I think...well, I think I'm falling..."  
  
Lena pulled herself further away and started to sit up. She looked like she was getting ready to make a run for it.  
  
"Sorry, don't get up. I'm just being foolish. Never mind." Kara sat up and reached for Lena's hand to keep her from standing up. Lena took her hand and leaned forward to give her a quick kiss. Then she stood and pulled Kara along with her.  
  
"We better get going, Kara. I'd love to stay here, but I'm not sure when my parents are getting back tonight. It's better if I'm home when they get there."  
  
"Yes, of course. Let's go." Kara said, clearly downcast as she moved away from Lena and dusted the hay off her clothes. Lena reached for her and grabbed Kara's belt to pull her in, like she couldn't bear to see Kara sad.  
  
"We have time for just one more kiss..."  
  
Lena turned her face up and took Kara's lips." Kara hesitated, like she was reluctant. Lena put her hand behind her head and pulled Kara closer. Kara couldn't hold out and opened her mouth to take Lena's tongue deeply.  
  
"Oh, God. You're getting me worked up again." Lena said as she pulled away. "We have to be careful. I don't want to end up in Belize by Sunday."  
  
"No, we don't want that!"  
  
"Race you to the corral!" Lena said as she kissed Kara quickly on the mouth and darted away.  
  
"Anything you want." Kara said as she watched Lena run.


	19. Fix You

Lena leapt onto her horse and urged her into a full gallop down the trail and disappeared quickly into the trees. Kara hurried to catch up. Since they'd decided to go a different route than usual in case they were followed, the trail was unfamiliar to both of them. Still, Lena charged down the trail at top speed with Kara close behind. Kara was listening carefully, anxious that someone might be ahead on the trail looking for them, when suddenly she heard a sound she hadn't heard before on the ranch. She immediately recognized from all the westerns she'd watched on TV.  
  
"Rattler!" She yelled. "Lena, stop!"  
  
Kara watched in horror as Lena's horse jerked to a stop and reared up in front of a rattle snake that was crouched for attack in the middle of the trail. The horse twisted sharply to the right and charged off the trail, into the dense trees. Before Lena could get her under control the horse charged under a low hanging branch, which rammed into Lena's chest and yanked her off the horse. She landed with a loud crash, falling with her leg under her. Kara rushed to her and found Lena grabbing her leg and writhing in pain. She could see her ankle was twisted at an awkward angle.  
  
"Kara, the horse!" Kara looked around, but Streaky was nowhere to be seen. She'd taken off through the forest at full speed.  
  
"She's gone, we'll have to find her later. We have to get you back, Lena! Your ankle, it doesn't look right."  
  
"I can ride with you if I can get onto the horse." Lena said through gritted teeth. She moved to get up and screamed in pain. Kara couldn't bear to watch her struggle, she lifted Lena into her arms and moved her swiftly up onto the horse, then climbed on behind her. She wrapped her arms around Lena to reach the reins. Lena seemed to be in too much pain to worry about what Kara was doing. Kara urged the horse forward and as they increased speed Lena's body was jarred harder with each gallop. She screamed and was clearly in excrutiating pain until she passed out and went limp in Kara's arms. Kara knew she could get her back faster and smoother without the horse, so she jumped down, still holding Lena in her arms, tied the horse and began running as fast as she could.  
  
When she reached her top speed Kara felt herself lift off the ground. At first she was exhilarated, then she panicked, feeling unstable without contact with the ground, then ultimately worried she might be seen. But she knew it was the fastest and smoothest way to get her back, so she let herself kept going. Eventually she felt more confident and steady flying with Lena in her arms. She stayed low enough to be under sight line due to the trees. The forest provided good cover and when she reached the clearing near the corral she was able to land gently, then rushed to get Lena to the barn. She started yelling for Cisco, but realized he must be at the other barn. Her yelling seemed to be rousing Lena, so she laid her down on a stack of fresh hay.  
  
"Lena, I'll be back, I'm going for help."  
  
She dashed to the other barn to find Cisco and explain what happened. They ran together back to Lena and found her holding her leg and rocking back and forth in pain. Cisco knelt beside her and began to carefully feel her calf and ankle. He had seen a lot of riding accidents over the years.  
  
"It's not broken." He said. "I think it's just a bad ankle sprain."  
  
"Should we call an ambulance?" Kara asked.  
  
"No, it's not that serious. But we should probably get some medical attention. I'm going to call Mr. Luthor, is he at the house?"  
  
"Please, don't call my parents. They're in the city and they don't know I'm down here." Lena gasped, grimacing in pain.  
  
"Lena, there's no way they won't know you were in an accident. You aren't going to be able to walk normally for days, maybe weeks depending on how serious it is."  
  
Kara and Lena looked at each other, obviously desperate not to be discovered.  
  
"Do you know anyone that could look at this without me going to a hospital or clinic? Someone 'unofficial'?"  
  
Cisco hesitated. Clearly he did know someone, but was reluctant to say.  
  
"Cisco, please!" Lena said. "I'll do anything I can to cover for you if it comes to that. But I'm sure it will be fine. Most of the time my parents don't even notice I'm there. It's only when I'm gone that they seem to care."  
  
"Well, I know a woman who sees migrant workers at minimal cost and off the books. She tries to help people who are here to work but afraid to get medical attention."  
  
"Please, can you call her? I'll pay anything she wants."  
  
"She doesn't do it for the money." Cisco said, still hesitant.  
  
"Please, Cisco. Do it for me, as my friend." Kara pleaded.  
  
Cisco pulled out his cell phone and walked out of the barn. When he left Kara moved Lena over to lean against her, thinking it would be more comfortable than the hay.  
  
"Lena, I'm so sorry. I heard the snake, I tried to stop you! I was too slow."  
  
"Kara, it's not your fault. It was just a freak accident." Lena eased back against her looking like she was still in terrible pain.  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kara asked, moving her hands through Lena's hair and trying to soothe her.  
  
"No. Just hold me. It feels better being near you." Lena said, looking more helpless than Kara had ever seen her, but also angry.  
  
"I can tell you're angry." Kara said.  
  
"I am angry. Not at you, just at this ridiculous situation. I was trying to be careful and now I'm totally busted."  
  
"Maybe they'll be late and we can get you back before them."  
  
"Maybe, but Cisco's right. I'm going to be hobbled for a while." Lena said, still grimacing in pain. "Anyway, I'm allowed to ride horses if I want. And I had my share of injuries when I was competing. It's going to be fine."  
  
"I feel so helpless." Kara said, distraught at the pain on Lena's face.  
  
Cisco came jogging back into the barn. "OK, she's on her way. She lives near by."  
  
"Thanks, Cisco." Kara said. "Listen, Streaky ran off and is loose in the forest. She ran into the forest along the southern loop. I also tied the other horse along the route back. You'll need to send a search party."  
  
"OK, I'll be back." Cisco said as he jogged out of the barn.  
  
They sat together anxiously until they heard a car pull up and a woman jog into the barn. Cisco came back at the same time. "Over here, Doc."  
  
A woman in jeans and a cowboy hat came over and kneeled next to Lena.  
  
"This is Dr. McGee." Cisco said.  
  
"You can call me Tina. Hopefully, I don't need to tell any of you that I was never here."  
  
"Of course, Doctor. Thank you for coming." Lena said through gritted teeth.  
  
The doctor gave Lena a careful examination, running her hands over her legs, ankles, and feet and asking detailed questions about how her back and neck felt.  
  
"Well, you're fortunate that this is not too serious. You could have broken a leg or worse, but it's just a bad sprain. I know it hurts a lot. Sometimes sprains can hurt even more than a break, but fortunately the recovery is much quicker. You're going to have to take it easy and give yourself a chance to heal."  
  
"Thank you, Doctor. I promise to be good." Lena said with a smirk in her voice, but a grimace on her face. Kara was relieved to hear some of her spirit back.  
  
"You need to stay off of it as much as possible for a few days. As soon as you can you should get it iced down and do it often for the next 24 hours. Keep it elevated as much as possible. You should pick up an aircast for your ankle, you can get them at a pharmacy or online. Depending on how you feel tomorrow you may even want to use crutches for a while to keep the weight off your ankle. You can take a double dose of ibuprofen to help with the pain, but if you need to do that for more than a day or so you should get checked out by another doctor."  
  
"I have some crutches in the shed from an injury I got coming off a horse years ago. You can take them with you just in case." Cisco said.  
  
"How am I going to get back to the house?"  
  
"I"ll take you in the truck." Cisco said and left to bring it around.  
  
"Doctor, I'd like to give you something for your time."  
  
"It's not necessary; I live near here. I appreciate that your family is supporting local jobs by keeping this ranch running. Just make sure you don't say anything to your family about my work with migrants."  
  
"Well, I want to give something to support your work helping migrant workers then. I'll pass it along through Cisco." Lena said, leaving no room for discussion.  
  
Cisco pulled up and backed slowly into the barn. The doctor reached to help Lena up while Kara stood and supported her back. As much as she wanted to pick Lena up and lift her into the seat, Kara knew it was a bad idea. She and the doctor helped Lena into the truck cab and Kara started to climb in.  
  
"Kara, no, you should stay here, in case my parents are home."  
  
"I'm coming with you." She said, sliding Lena over to the center and ignoring her protests. Luckily, the truck was so old that there was no console, just a seat bank across the front and plenty of room for 3 people.  
  
"Thanks again, Doc!" Kara waved as she shut the door behind her. "Let's hit it, Cisco."  
  
Kara slid her arm behind Lena and pulled her close. Lena put her head down on Kara's shoulder, giving up her protests in exhaustion and clearly grateful for the comfort.  
  
It was a bumpy ride to the mansion and Kara was grimacing at every bump along with Lena, as if she felt it herself. They finally pulled up to a very still looking house.  
  
"Thank God, Father's car isn't here. Let's try to get inside without attracting a lot of attention. My key card is in my back pocket." Kara slid it out and used it to open the door.  
  
"Where do you want to go?" Cisco asked as they entered.  
  
"Can you take me up to my room? If I'm too heavy I can use the banister to stay off my ankle."  
  
"You're not too heavy." Kara said, looking at Cisco, who nodded. At that point Kara was about ready to fly her room, Lena's suffering was driving her to distraction.  
  
Once they found her room and flipped on the light they were both taken aback. The room seemed to stretch on and on, with beautiful and expensive decor. Neither Kara nor Cisco had ever seen anything like it in a private home. Kara noticed that the smell reminded her of Lena. As she laid her down on the bed she longed to wrap herself around her and hold her, but kept herself in check.  
  
"Kara, we should get back, I need to make sure they found the horses."  
  
"I'm staying, Cisco." Kara said with determination.  
  
"Kara...just remember, if the Luthors want you gone there won't be anything I can do. You'll lose your job..." Cisco started.  
  
"Kara, you should get out of here before they get back. Please." Lena sounded a bit desperate.  
  
"I'm not leaving until I find her some meds and get her ankle iced down."  
  
"Kara, there are plenty of staff here that can help with that. When I push this button someone will be here in moments."  
  
"I'm not leaving." Kara said clearly, looking at them in a way that left no room for discussion.  
  
Cisco and Lena looked at each other and he shrugged. "I'll bring in the crutches, then I've really got to go."  
  
After Cisco left Kara retrieved some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet in Lena's bathroom, then snuck around the building to find ice and a bag from the massive kitchen, which looked like it was set up for a professional chef rather than being used by a family. She got Lena set up with her leg elevated and iced, then sat down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Tomorrow I'll bring you an aircast."  
  
"Kara, you don't need to do that. I'll ask one of mother's assistants to pick one up." Lena said, sounding irritated.  
  
"Lena, will you just let me help? You're so stubborn!"  
  
Lena let her head fall back on her pillow and starred at the ceiling. "I'm so tired."  
  
"Let's get you into pajamas, you need to sleep."  
  
"You can't fool me, Ms. Danvers. You're just trying to see me naked." Lena said, but without her teasing voice.  
  
"Lena..."  
  
"I'm only kidding. I appreciate the help, Kara."  
  
Kara began opening drawers to see what she could find since Lena was obviously too tired to focus on telling her where things were. She froze as she opened one of the top drawers full of camisoles and lacy underwear. The sight and smell was intoxicating and her mind flashed to the image of Lena in a thin camisole, legs spread and touching herself on the bed. The bed which Kara was now standing very near. Kara abruptly slammed the drawer shut and began moving down to lower drawers until she found some comfortable sweats and a t-shirt. She came back to the bed and helped Lena sit up gently, unbuttoning her blouse and sliding it off her shoulders. Kara started to blush as Lena's skin was slowly revealed. She began breathing more heavily as she went to unclasp her bra, but reminded herself she had an important, practical mission and this was no time to get turned on. Still, it was hard to keep her body from reacting to taking off Lena's clothes.  
  
Once she had her blouse and bra off, Kara carefully slipped a "Wicklow Academy Celts" t-shirt over her head, then froze, not sure what to do next.  
  
"Aren't you going to do the rest?" Lena asked, still staring up at the ceiling, sleepy but still visibly uncomfortable.  
  
"Of course." Kara said and slowly began to unbutton and unzip Lena's riding pants. She gently slid them over her hips as Lena struggled to lift up so she could pull them off. And suddenly there she was, laying there in nothing but her underwear and a T-shirt. Kara quickly helped her into her sleep pants and then sat down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Wow, so you actually own an old T-shirt!" Kara teased.  
  
"Kara, how can you tease me in my weakened condition?" Lena said with surprise.  
  
"Sorry. Is this from your school?"  
  
"Yes. But the shirt isn't mine, I've only been there about 2 years. This is Lex's shirt that I stole from him when he went there. After he left for school I couldn't wait to get there. It was hard being home once he was gone."  
  
Kara felt bad that she had inadvertently reminded Lena of an unpleasant memory.  
  
"Is there anything else I can get you?" Kara asked with concern in her voice.  
  
"Got any heavier drugs?" Lena asked, then laughed.  
  
"It still really hurts?" She asked.  
  
"Actually it is getting better with the ice and pain reliever. I'll be fine, Kara, you should get out of here."  
  
Just as she said that, they heard a car pull up outside.  
  
"Shit, it's too late." Lena said dejectedly.  
  
"It's not too late, Lena. I promise. I can get out of here without them seeing me." Kara went to the window and peeked out. She saw Lionel and Lena's mother climb out of the back of a long black car. She watched with fascination at the way Lillian moved. Once they were out of her line of sight she rushed back to Lena.  
  
"I better go. Can I come see you tomorrow?"  
  
"Kara..."  
  
"Please, Lena. I promise I can be discreet. I need to see you, just to see that you're OK."  
  
"OK. Fine. You know it's very hard for me to say no to you, don't you?"  
  
Kara grinned sheepishly. "Please, Lena. I only want to help."  
  
"OK. Mother usually leaves the house around mid-day. Give me a call around noon and I'll see what the situation is here."  
  
"Thank you." Kara said and started to leave, but Lena held tight to the tails of her flannel shirt.  
  
"I want this." She said, her head lifted to look Kara in the eye.  
  
"You want my shirt? Are you cold? Maybe we should take your foot out of the ice for a while." Kara said and reached for her ankle.  
  
"No, Kara. I want this because it smells like you."  
  
Kara froze again. Then, looking directly at Lena, as she began to shoulder out of her flannel. As she handed it over, Lena took her hand and pulled her in for a soft kiss.  
  
"Thanks for taking care of me." Lena whispered into Kara's mouth.  
  
As Kara started to respond they heard yelling down the hall.  
  
"Lena! Are you here?"  
  
Kara darted to the wind and threw it open. She leapt to the tree she knew was there just outside the window and held very still as she heard Lena's parents come in to the room. Then she quietly climbed down the tree and began running back to the ranch to check on the horses. She wasn't too far away to hear Lena whisper to her.  
  
"Good night, Kara."


	20. The Winner Takes it All

Kara got to the ranch and found everything was well in hand. Both horses were back in their stables and most of the search party had left for home. Kara found Cisco and thanked him for all he had done.  
  
"Cisco, you've been such a good friend to me. If there is ever some way I can repay you for all the risks you've taken on my account, I would do it in a heartbeat. Just say the word."  
  
"It's OK, Kara. You are a hard worker and have a good heart. I worry that you follow your heart too much and it'll get you in to trouble. But you deserve a chance and I can't seem to resist trying to keep you out of trouble, even when it could make trouble for me."  
  
"I appreciate that, Cisco. Please know that I never want to cause you any trouble. It just seems I'm a magnet for it."  
  
"Kara, do yourself a favor and stay away from the mansion. That can only lead to more trouble."  
  
"I need to check on her, Cisco. I think her family doesn't take very good care of her."  
  
"Even so, there are plenty of staff that can help. Just let it be." Cisco looked and saw he wasn't making any headway. "OK then, just be careful."  
  
"I will, thanks again for everything." Kara took off toward home, it was getting late.  
  
"Hey, Kara!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I don't want to see you here tomorrow. It's the weekend!"  
  
"Thanks, Cisco." She said and continued running towards home.  
  
***  
  
That night Alex questioned Kara about why she was out so late and acting weird.  
  
"Well, today was..." Kara didn't even know where to start. She decided the most important thing was nearly outing herself to help Lena. "Well, I...I flew with Lena today!" She finally blurted out.  
  
"You WHAT?!" Alex scream-whispered.  
  
"It's OK, Alex. She was unconscious. She doesn't know I flew."  
  
Kara went on to explain the circumstances in detail.  
  
"Well, it sounds like it all worked out. She didn't wake up until you were back at the ranch and was too out of it to realize what had happened. But you really can't take chances like that!"  
  
"Alex, she passed out, she was in a lot of pain. It was terrible not helping her when I could have!"  
  
"It's too risky."  
  
"Alex, there's more I want to tell you."  
  
Alex starred at her, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  
  
"Today I...well I realized I'm in love with Lena..."  
  
"You mean today you had sex with Lena!"  
  
"I, well, sort of. Today we, I'm not sure how to describe it. I don't know if it was sex, we had our clothes on. But it felt amazing. For Lena too. That much I could tell."  
  
"Kara, you were dry-humping?!"  
  
"What? No! I mean I don't think so." Kara paused. "Wait, what's dry-humping? It sounds terrible."  
  
"Never mind. Kara, how do you know whether you're in love or just had an orgasm? Having sex for the first time can have a very big impact, it brings out a lot of emotions. You've never been in love before and you haven't known her very long." Alex said.  
  
"Alex! That's not what this is about. Yes, I'm attracted to her, she's the most beautiful...It's not just about that. She's brilliant and funny and charming and caring. She puts up a tough facade, but it's just because people either judge her or want something from her. Her parents aren't there for her, they try to control her. But she's let me close to her. She wants to spend time with me, and it's not just about sex. When she was in pain today and ...well, I would have done anything if I could have suffered it instead of her."  
  
"Did you tell her how you feel?"  
  
"Well, I tried to. She cut me off. I think she didn't want to hear it."  
  
"Kara, it may be that she doesn't feel the same way. Or it could be that she's just afraid of how she's feeling."  
  
"I know. In the beginning I think she was just having fun with me, and maybe that's all it is for her. But she has said things that make me think it's more than that. She told me she cares about me, even though she seems reluctant about it. Before I left tonight she asked to keep my shirt. Because it smells like me..."  
  
"Ahgg! Kara, please! Too much information."  
  
"Sorry. Today, seeing Lena hurt and not helping her because of fear, felt terrible. That can't be the right thing to do. I waited until she passed out until I carried her, and she was in a lot of pain on the horse with a sprained ankle. What if it had been something serious and time was important? I've realized I'm making a mistake. It's not fair, what I'm doing. She's already told me she has feelings for me. Maybe she doesn't want me to be in love with her, but she does care about me. And I'm not being honest with her."  
  
"Kara, you're protecting yourself and the family!"  
  
"I just don't think I can go on like this. It's not fair to her. If she does have feelings for me. I either have to stop or tell her. And I don't know how to stop."  
  
"Kara, you can't tell her. The Luthors are very powerful. You've said they're very controlling of Lena. If they find out, well, it could be disaster."  
  
"Alex, the last thing I want to do is put you or the family at risk. Please know that. But I also have to be true to myself when it comes to something as important as this. I know her. She's not going to do anything that would be dangerous to our family."  
  
"Wow. Kara, I've never heard you call us your family before."  
  
"Alex, you are my family. You've all shown that in every possible way. So please believe I wouldn't do something to hurt any of you."  
  
"Please. Just, give it more time. You haven't known her that long."  
  
"Alex..."  
  
"Please. For me. Just give it more time. She's going to be going back to school. Things will change."  
  
"OK." Kara said dejectedly. "But I need you to take me to the pharmacy in the morning. I need to pick up something for Lena's ankle."  
  
"OK. You got it, Romeo."  
  
"Ha, Lena called me that after our date. I guess I need to read up on Romeo."  
  
"Actually, no. It's not a good analogy. At least I hope not. I just mean you're romancing your girl, not that you're going to end up like Romeo."  
  
"Well, you know I'm getting my driver's license in a couple of days. I wanna take Lena on a date. I can't wait....although that may not be possible for a while."  
  
"Well I can't wait for you to get it either. Then I won't have to drive your butt all over town!" Alex said and laughed.  
  
***  
  
The next day Lillian didn't leave till late in the afternoon. Lex was still away and Lionel at work, but just to be safe Kara went in through the window. She noticed a camera on the front door and thought it best to avoid it in case there was some kind of security paying attention.  
  
"Kara!" Lena exclaimed when she saw her. "You really do know how to make an entrance, don't you?"  
  
Kara came to the bed and looked at her ankle. "Can I get you some more ice?"  
  
"No, someone just changed it. Will you lock the door? Just in case we get some helpful staff coming by."  
  
As Kara made her way back to the bed Lena patted the spot next to her.  
  
"Come sit by me." Lena said.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"It's still painful but a lot better. It hurts to move around. The crutches help keep the weight off."  
  
"I brought you an aircast you can use to get around once it's better. It just protects and gives support when you're moving." Kara dug it out of her bag. "Oh, and some ice cream."  
  
"You do know how to treat a girl. Give it here." Lena said, snatching it. "You remembered my favorite."  
  
"Here's a spoon."  
  
"Thanks, Kara. It's nice to have some one take care of me that isn't being paid." Lena laughed grimly.  
  
"That's all I want to do, Lena. When you got hurt, I felt so helpless..."  
  
"Well, you were a big help." Lena said, digging into her ice cream. "That must have been really difficult to move a passed out person on horseback for miles."  
  
Kara watched carefully as Lena started licking enthusiastically at the ice cream. The way her tongue was moving, Kara thought she might be purposely trying to tease and get a reaction out of her. To distract herself she hopped up and began to peruse the room. She looked over Lena's books and some framed pictures, then noticed some trophies.  
  
"Wow, so you're a chess champion!"  
  
"Ha. Well, yes, I guess I am. Do you play?"  
  
"No, I never have. But I could learn..."  
  
"Hmm. Well, it's a complex game..."  
  
"Don't you remember? I'm a fast learner." Kara said with a smirk.  
  
"So I noticed." Lena said. "OK, let's do it. There's a set in that drawer on the far right."  
  
Lena spent the next couple of hours teaching Kara how to play chess and then playing some games.  
  
"So, how did your parents react to your injury?"  
  
"Well, I've had riding injuries before, so they weren't too worried once I explained. They asked a lot of questions about the circumstances, but I was able to keep them off the trail. It's good that you weren't here when they got back."  
  
"Glad it worked out."  
  
"Actually Mother was more concerned that it would mess up her plans to go to Metropolis for Christmas."  
  
"You're going away for Christmas?"  
  
"Well, she hadn't bothered to tell me about it, but she's been planning for us all to go for a couple of days soon. But now it's complicated. It doesn't make sense for me to go if I'm limping around in pain. I don't know, maybe they'll go anyway without me. She was not happy at all about having to cancel. I told them they should just go ahead."  
  
"You don't mean that. Don't you want to be with your family over Christmas?"  
  
"I guess I would be sad to be on my own. But it's not usually a joyous family time together anyway. There's a lot of expectations and tension. Now that Lex is so angsty all the time it's really just Father that seems to enjoy being around me."  
  
"You could have Christmas with me. I'm sure the Danvers wouldn't mind."  
  
"Kara, that's really sweet of you, but Christmas is for families."  
  
"Well, it might be nice. I've only been in the family since summer, what's the difference?"  
  
"It's different." Lena said.  
  
Kara could see her mood darkening so she changed the subject.  
  
"So, when do you think you'll go back to school?"  
  
"Well, the semester starts the second week of January. As long as Mother doesn't get a wild hair, usually I go back a day or so before it starts."  
  
"Wow, that's a nice long break."  
  
"Well, everyone there boards and many come from far away. So the academic calendar works more like college than high school."  
  
"I'm glad you'll be here past Christmas."  
  
"Me too." Lena cupped her hand under Kara's chin. "So, I finally have you in my bed and I'm on the bench due to injury."  
  
"On the bench?"  
  
"It's a sports metaphor. I'm injured so I can't play in the game. I'm sitting on the bench."  
  
"It's fun just spending time with you, Lena. And chess is a fantastic game."  
  
"I like just spending time with you, too. Then again, I'm not injured everywhere..."  
  
"Lena, you need to keep as still as possible so you don't disturb your ankle."  
  
"I'm just going to lean back on my pillow and hold perfectly still." She leaned back but reached for Kara's hand and pulled Kara with her.  
  
"Come closer, I need a distraction from my pain." Lean smirked.  
  
Kara leaned very carefully over Lena, putting her hands down on each side of her head and avoiding any contact with her body so that she wouldn't jostle her ankle. She gently moved her lips to Lena's then pulled back.  
  
"Don't tease me, Kara."  
  
"I'm not teasing, I just. Don't want to hurt you."  
  
"I'll tell you if anything hurts. In a bad way." Lena smiled and moved her hand behind Kara's head and pulled her down to her lips again. Kara pressed gently, unable to resist being so close to her lips. Lena's lips opened slightly and Kara deepened the kiss. Before she knew it she was licking into Lena's mouth but still carefully holding herself away. Before long they were both moaning and breathing heavily. Kara pulled back to get herself under control.  
  
"I love your mouth, Lena. You taste so good." Lena took her hand and brought Kara's fingers to her lips and kissed them. Kara's jaw dropped as Lena licked the tips of her fingers, then slid two of the deep into her mouth. She licked them gently then closed her mouth and began to suck. She ran her tongue along the sensitive pads of Kara's fingers and let out a soft "mmm" sound. Kara couldn't stop herself, she began moving her fingers, slowly thrusting them in and out. She could feel herself getting hard as she watched her fingers moving in and out of Lena's mouth, her mind flashed to what it would be like to have Lena's mouth on her cock. _Oh fuck _, Kara thought. Lena continued to suck as she moved her hand to Kara's shirt buttons and began to ease them open. Kara shifted on the bed and knocked the chess board to the ground. It seemed to wake her up out of the trance of Lena's mouth.__  
  
"Lena, wait!" Kara said and sat back. "You need to relax and hold still."  
  
"I know, you're right. I guess I just find you irresistible."  
  
Kara scooted away from her. "I feel the same way when I'm around you. But I want you to heal as soon as possible. I don't want to do anything to hurt you."  
  
"I don't want that either." She said, seeming to mean more than just her ankle.  
  
"Another game?" Kara asked.  
  
"Don't you need to be getting home?"  
  
"No school, I'm a free bird! Don't worry, if anyone shows up I'll make another dramatic escape."  
  
"OK, another match." Lena grinned. Kara loved seeing how much Lena enjoyed chess and could see why she was a champion.  
  
Kara set up the board again and they started another game. The game lasted a little longer since Kara had improved.  
  
"You are a fast learner!" Lena said, sounding impressed.  
  
"I think it's just that you're a good teacher." Kara grinned.  
  
"You do say the sweetest things."  
  
"Who knows, maybe I'll even beat you one of these days." Kara said with a smirk. "Never underestimate me."  
  
"I certainly won't." Lena said with a wide smile.  
  
They talked and laughed at each other as they continued to play. It was late before they heard Lionel come back from work. Kara got up to make her exit through the window. First she leaned over the bed to give Lena a lingering kiss, then asked if she could come the next day.  
  
"Well, it turns out I am free tomorrow and won't be going anywhere. Or can't go anywhere, rather." She said with a laugh. "Since you've managed to circumvent our lame security here..."  
  
"Great! I'll call tomorrow. Do you want anything? Is there anything I can bring you?"  
  
"Just you, Kara. You're what I want." Lena said quietly. "Now get out of here!"  
  
Kara laughed and dashed to the window.  
  
"Sweet dreams, Lena." She said as she jumped.  
  



	21. I'll Give You the Moon

When Kara arrived the next day Lena was coming out of her bathroom.  
  
Lena jumped at the sight of someone suddenly appearing in her room, then realized it was Kara. "My, we really have to stop meeting like this." She teased.  
  
"Wow, you're getting around pretty well with those crutches!" Kara observed.  
  
"Yes, I'm a pro now. I don't like feeling completely helpless, so I've been praticing by going up and down the halls when I'm bored. Which is a lot of the time. And you never know when I might need to make a quick get away." She winked at Kara then crossed the room and sat down on the bed.  
  
"The hard part is getting back into the prone position without jostling my ankle too much." She grimaced as she started easing back. Kara couldn't resist, she put her arms under Lena's back and knees and lifted her gently back into all the pillows as propped againist her head board.  
  
"My hero." Lena said. "I'm always amazed at how strong you are. I guess that's how you were able to get me back so quickly even though I was passed out. Sorry about that, by the way. Must have been scary."  
  
"It was scary, but it doesn't matter, the important thing is that you weren't seriously hurt." Kara desperately wanted to avoid discussion of how she got Lena back to the barn, so she changed the subject.  
  
"How's your ankle?" Kara said, looking at the wrapped bandage. "Do you want some ice for it?"  
  
"No, it doesn't do much for the swelling any more. I only ice it a couple of times a day. You can take the bandage off if you want to see it."  
  
Kara unhooked and slowly unwound the bandage. She revealed Lena's ankle, it was about twice it's normal size and dark with bruising. "Wow, it looks terrible! Sorry, I shouldn't say..."  
  
"Don't worry, Kara, I know it looks awful. It is really much better though. It only hurts if I put pressure on it. It's good to leave it out of the bandage for a bit when I'm not moving around." She settled back against the head board.  
  
"So, are you up for another game of chess?" Kara asked.  
  
"Well, I hate to tell you, but you've arrived just in time for the annual Luthor Christmas film binge session!" Lena said with a smile.  
  
"Really, what is that? Sounds exciting."  
  
"Well, not really. It used to be Lex and I watching all our favorite Christmas movies together while eating piles of junk food. I've been sort of holding out, hoping he would still be into it once he gets back from his ski trip. But this morning Mother told me he would go straight to Metropolis to meet them for Christmas holiday. Oh, and she also told me they're still going. She thinks I should just get over it and go. Sorry, sliding around in the snow with a bad ankle, hobbling around town to see shows and go to fancy restaurants just doesn't sound appealing. And holing up in a hotel room in the city while they do that sounds even worse. So I've refused to go."  
  
"I'm sorry, Lena. I know that must hurt your feelings that they decided to go even though it would be really hard on you."  
  
"I'm sure Father didn't want to do it. But he has a hard time saying 'no' to Mother. She's probably glad I'm refusing to go."  
  
"They're actually letting you stay here alone?"  
  
"Well, not exactly. A skeleton staff will be here. They always let most people off for the holidays, but never everyone."  
  
"I'm not going to let you be alone on Christmas, Lena."  
  
"Kara, let's not talk about it. What's the difference, it's really just any other day. The important thing is that we see all the essential movies of the holiday! So, what were your favorites when you were growing up?"  
  
"Umm..." Kara hesitated. She had watched a few of Alex's favorite Christmas with her. She could have said those were her favorites, but she tried to avoid directly lying to Lena.  
  
"Oh, I guess I shouldn't assume. Did your birth family celebrate Christmas?"  
  
"Well..." She knew if she said 'no' the next question would be why, and she would be getting herself into a deeper hole. She looked around the room for a lifeline.  
  
"Sorry. I know you don't want to talk about your birth family. I can't help it if I'm curious."  
  
"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that..."  
  
"Forget it, Kara. It doesn't matter."  
  
Kara felt terrible for making Lena feel she didn't want to talk to her about her family. It was easier to dodge when they had activities like riding. She realized it was going to be tough now that they had a chance to spend time together but were stuck inside.  
  
"It does matter, Lena. You mean so much to me, I want to share more with you..." Kara stopped, despairing of her helpless situation.  
  
"Kara, I have something I want to share with you, too." Lena said, looking at her seriously. "It's called 'Elf', and it's the best Christmas movie ever."  
  
Kara smiled, relieved Lena was changing the conversation.  
  
"Get the door, will you?" Lena said. Kara went and locked it and then went to Lena's desk and pulled her chair over to the bed. She didn't trust herself getting into bed with Lena again.  
  
"Kara, seriously? I promise not to seduce you, but I AM going to use your body. As a human pillow. Now get in this bed." Lena said, leaving no room for discussion.  
  
Kara giggled and climbed in. She leaned against the headboard and Lena shifted over to rest against her chest.  
  
"OK, you're not very soft, but you are warm." She snuggled in to get comfortable then flipped a switch on one remote that opened a panel in the wall to reveal a large TV, then grabbed another remote to start the movie. As the movie went on Lena's head was regularly getting jiggled up and down as Kara giggled, which made Lena laugh even more.  
  
"I have to say this is the most fun I've had watching this show!" Lena said after it was over. "Is this the first time you've seen it?"  
  
"Yes, it's hilarious!" Kara said. She could really identify with Elf. He was coming into a whole new world, suddenly having a new family and everything was confusing and new. He tried hard to do everything right, but often ended up causing trouble, just like Kara.  
  
"You know, you remind me a bit of Elf." Lena said. "You often have that same wide-eyed look, like you're seeing the world for the first time. And also because you're hilarious and adorable!"  
  
"What, how can you you say that? Kara said, pretending outrage. "Well, I have to admit that syrup on spaghetti sounds delicious! I can't wait to try it."  
  
"Like I said, adorable!" Lena laughed and sat back on the bed. She leaned up to give Kara a quick peck on the cheek and cupped her hand under Kara's chin. They just gazed and grinned at each other for a minute before Kara's stomach gave a loud grumble.  
  
"Sorry! I can't help it, all this talk of spaghetti and it's past my lunch time." Kara said.  
  
"I remember, you have to eat a lot to build all that muscle." She ran her hand down Kara's bicep and squeezed. "Hand me that phone on the table and I'll order some lunch. What would you like? The chef can make about anything you can dream up."  
  
"Oh, I like everything!" Kara said enthusiastically.  
  
Lena called and ordered what sounded like about 4 lunches, including an order of spaghetti and a side of maple syrup. Kara giggled. "Wow, that's a lot of food!"  
  
"What can I say, I like giving you what you want, Kara." Lena said with a mischievous grin. "And you're so easy to please, it's refreshing."  
  
"You're what I want, Lena." Kara said with seriousness. She took Lena's hand and brought it to her lips to kiss.  
  
"Ha, where did you get that line?" Lena laughed, but continued looking into Kara's eyes. "You better go unlock the door. When the staff arrives it's best if you hang out in the bathroom. Since you came in through the window it will seem weird to find someone in here."  
  
"Sure, no problem." Kara said.  
  
After the staff came and went Kara came out from hiding. "Wow, this food looks delicious!"  
  
"Yes, the chef is quite good. But I think the staff suspects I've becoming bulimic, ordering 4 lunches for just me."  
  
Kara looked confused so Lena explained. "Bulimia is an eating disorder. People will eat way too much food, then force them selves to throw up to avoid gaining weight."  
  
"Wow! That sounds awful."  
  
"It is. I had a roommate last year that had it. They ended up taking her out of school and put her into a special hospital for treatment."  
  
"I can't imagine intentionally throwing up food." Kara said, sympathetically.  
  
"Well, take whatever you want, there's plenty and we can order more."  
  
"It all looks good, but I have to start with the spaghetti and syrup." Kara poured a large amount of syrup and a bowl of spaghetti and took a huge bite.  
  
"Ugh! This is terrible!" Kara exclaimed.  
  
Lena started cracking up at the face she made as the syrup ran down her chin. "Ha, I thought it would be! It looks disgusting. You don't have to eat that. Here, have this cheeseburger, I know you like them." Lena wiped syrup off Kara's chin with her thumb and licked it off. "The syrup's good though." She grinned impishly at Kara.  
  
"So, what are you up to tomorrow?" Lena asked.  
  
"Well, tomorrow Eliza is taking me to test for my driver's license! I can't wait to be able to drive on my own."  
  
"Ahh, I remember, you're going to be buying Cisco's truck."  
  
"Yes! Would you like to take a ride with me? I mean once you're able to get out and about again."  
  
"Absolutely! I'd love to go for a ride with you." Lena smiled coyly.  
  
"I can't wait." Kara said, excitedly. She was a bit amazed that she was going to be allowed to drive and have a truck. On Krypton all vehicles were self-driving, so they didn't have to develop any driving abilities. It seemed like an awesome responsibility and she was excited about the challenge. She'd already read and memorized the driver's handbook that she would be tested on the next day.  
  
"Also, tomorrow's Monday, so I have to go in to work. But since I don't have school I won't need to work late, I should be finished with my chores by early afternoon. Can I come by after that?"  
  
"I'm not sure, we'll probably have some type of family dinner since Mother and Father are leaving on Tuesday. They'll want to make a show of 'family togetherness' before they ditch me for the holiday trip to the big city." Lena laughed grimly. "Mother's also taking me to see a doctor tomorrow, some kind of orthopedic specialist to look at my ankle. She's just trying to assuage her guilt for deserting me. Why don't you call when you're free and we'll see what's going on here?"  
  
"OK." Kara said glumly. She was feeling sorry for Lena, thinking it must be terrible to have her family leave her over the holiday.  
  
"So are you up for the next movie on the binge list?" Lena asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Sure, what is it?"  
  
"Have you ever seen, 'It's a Wonderful Life'?"  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
"It's the ultimate Christmas classic! It's super cheesy, but I can't resist it. You really must see it if you haven't. It was made in 1947, originally in black and white film, but now it's been colorized. It's about a man who's down on his luck and decides it would have been better if he was never born. As he decides to kill himself an angel intervenes to show him what the world would have been like without him. I don't what to spoil it too much though. What do you think, are you up for it?"  
  
"Am I up for laying in bed with you watching movies after eating piles of food? Yeah, I think I'm up for that. I'll watch whatever you want me to."  
  
After Kara had plowed through a majority of the food Lena called the staff to come pick up the dishes. She was laughing as Kara came out of hiding again.  
  
"You should have seen their faces! They've definitely never seen me eat like that before." Lena said, clearly enjoying the their surprise. "Now assume the position!" Lena said and patted the bed.  
  
Kara climbed up and leaned back on the head board while Lena snuggled in and got comfortable on her stomach. By half way through the movie Lena had dozed off. She woke at the end of the movie due to Kara's stomach jerking up can down as she was crying.  
  
"Kara! Are you OK?" Lena cupped her cheek and wiped away the tears.  
  
"Yes, I, it's happy crying!" Kara's said. "Sorry, it was a beautiful story, I just got choked up. Thanks for sharing that with me."  
  
"I've always loved it. I remember when Lex first showed it to me. I really didn't want to watch it because it was before it had been colorized and it looked terribly old and boring. But I gave it a chance and I've loved it ever since."  
  
"George Bailey had such a good heart, and he helped so many people. I wish I could help people the way he did." Kara said wistfully. "Somehow by being there at the just the right time, he made all the difference in people's lives. I wish I could do that."  
  
"I know exactly what you mean. I have dreams like that, too. I think about all the amazing things that could be developed to help with some of the world's biggest problems. We're making leaps and bounds in science, why can't we find solutions for issues that plague so many people, like famine, drought, and climate change? So much of research and development goes into inventions that can make money. Just imagine if a company with resources like Luthor Corp was focused on these types of breakthroughs rather than profit-driven research? That's a way to make a real difference."  
  
"Wow, so you're really thinking about going into the company business?"  
  
"I don't know. I'm not sure what Lex will end up doing. If he takes over there's no way he'll be interested in anything that's not going to make money. And then I'm sure there would still be interference from Mother, even if Father really did retire. What I really want is to go out and do something on my own, where I won't have to answer to anyone. That won't happen if I go into the family business."  
  
"You're brilliant, Lena. I'm sure you can do anything you want."  
  
"Thanks, Kara. You're right about the brilliant part." She said with a laugh. "But right now it's hard to imagine being able to truly break away from my family. But a girl can dream." Lena looked off into the distance like she really was imagining a future, out on her own, being free and making a difference in the world.  
  
"You look really tired, Lena. I should go and let you rest." Kara moved to climb off the bed.  
  
"Stay just a little longer, Kara." Lena leaned back against the head board. She took Kara's hand and kissed her palm.  
  
"OK, just a little longer. It's not that I don't want to stay, I just don't want to keep you from resting."  
  
"I'm fine, I slept through the last half of the movie. I'm still waking up, that's why I look tired."  
  
Kara laid down on her side next to Lena and propped her head up on her elbow.  
  
"I can think of some things that will get my blood flowing..." Lena said as she pushed Kara's hair behind her ear and out of her eyes.  
  
"God, your eyes are so beautiful." Lena said as she gazed at Kara then slid her hand behind Kara's neck and tugged. "Come here."  
  
Kara hesitated. "Lena, your ankle..."  
  
"My ankle is fine. See, propped up here on this pillow like a princess. Perfectly safe." She leaned up and captured Kara's lips in a soft kiss. Kara had been so determined not to let herself get carried away again. But after spending hours so close to Lena, watching her breathe and shift on against her chest and surrounded by her scent, she found her will power was worn down. Her body had become hyper-alert to Lena's movements and she couldn't resist the feeling of Lena's lips on hers. She moved her hand behind Lena's head and lowered her back onto her pillow without letting their lips separate. When Lena's head hit the pillow her mouth parted and her tongue moved teasingly into Kara's eager mouth. They kissed more deeply, Lena's teeth nipping at Kara's lips until she pulled back and began moving her lips down to Lena's throat.  
  
"Oh, yes, Kara." Lena whispered. She moved her hand encouragingly against the back of Kara's head, threading her fingers through her hair. Kara could feel Lena's nails scratching her scalp and it sent a chill through her spine. She had a flash of imagining Lena, digging her nails deep into Kara's skin as she called out. Kara wanted more, she wanted to give in to Lena, to give her anything she wanted. After just a few minutes of feeling Lena's body and tongue moving against hers she could tell she was already hard.  
  
Without thinking, she moved her hand slowly from the back of Lena's head down to her hip, then slid her index finger slightly underneath the hem of Lena's T-shirt to feel the soft skin over hip bone and stomach. Lena's back arched at the feeling of Kara's fingers sliding under her shirt.  
  
"You have to be still, you'll hurt your ankle." At that Kara gripped Lena's hip and pushed it against the bed to hold her still.  
  
"Oh fuck, Kara. I love when you make me do what you want." Lena groaned. "You're so strong."  
  
Kara froze. "I would never make you do something you don't want to. You would tell me if I didn't something you didn't like, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Of course! Don't get me wrong. I'd love for you to just take what you want. But only if it's something I want, too. And you holding me down on this bed...well, I have to admit, has been a frequent fantasy of mine."  
  
"Really?  
  
"Definitely. Please don't stop."  
  
Kara was emboldened by Lena's pleading. "I'm going to hold your hips still so you won't get excited and jerk your ankle. And then I want to taste you. Can I, Lena?"  
  
"Yes. Please." Lena said and Kara could feel her pelvis clench.  
  
"Can I take these off?" Kara said, sliding her fingers under the bands of Lena's sleep pants and undies.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask." Lena laughed, sounding exuberant. Kara slid them both down and off, easing them especially carefully and slowly over her injured ankle. Once they were off she hesitated, struck again by her beauty. With so much of Lena bare beneath her she couldn't help but stare. She noticed Lena's skin starting to get goose pimples.  
  
"Lena, are you cold? We should get you under the covers."  
  
"It's not from the cold, it's from excitement. I'm sure if you touch me I'll warm up fast." She smiled. But Kara insisted and moved her carefully under her comforter, then arranged her foot again on a pillow.  
  
"Please, Kara, don't make me wait anymore. Please touch me."  
  
Kara moved her hand back securely against Lena's hip to keep her still and used her other hand to continue sliding Lena's shirt up higher. Her fingertips felt electric as the moved across her skin. Lena hadn't bothered to put a bra on since she was planning to spend the day in bed, and Kara could see her nipples straining against the shirt that was pulled tight across her chest. Kara gently caressed Lena's hip bones and stomach with her fingertips, moving slowly up her torso until finally pushing the shirt up far enough to expose one of her breasts, sliding her hand over her nipple then gently cupping her breast. Lena writhed a bit at the feeling of Kara's hand on her, but her pelvis stayed still under the pressure of Kara's hand. Kara's mouth dropped open slightly at the sight of Lena's breast, with her very erect nipple seeming to call to her. She bent to take it into her mouth and lathe it with her tongue. Lena moved her hand to the back of Kara's head to encourage her attention to her breast, holding her close as she licked and nipped. Kara then slid Lena's shirt over her other breast. She cupped it gently and then took it into her mouth as well. She loved the feeling of Lena's nipple straining against her tongue, and feeling of Lena panting and squirming under her hands, clearly turned on and wanting more from her. Kara bit down and held her nipple between her teeth.  
  
"God, Kara, I love it when you're a bit rough. I feel it all the way through me." Lena moaned as her body tried to arch, though she was clearly holding herself back and trying hard to be still.  
  
'I want to make you feel so good, Lena. Just promise you'll tell me if anything hurts. More than anything I don't want to hurt you or slow down your healing."  
  
"I promise. Just, please, keep going. Please, Kara" Lena pushed Kara's head back down to her body and Kara began moving her tongue down Lena's torso. She eased down her stomach, gradually down to her thigh with licks and small nips using the edge of her teeth. She eased Lena's good leg to bend while holding the other still, then began peppering small kisses along the inside of her thigh, moving steadily towards Lena's center. As she slid her tongue into Lena's dripping folds Kara let out a soft moan. She loved the taste and feel of Lena in her mouth. She was getting so worked up, she paused for a few moments to get herself better under control.  
  
"Lena, you're so wet! You taste so good..." She moved back down and eased her tongue around Lena's clit.  
  
"Ahhh, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes." Lena whispered through her teeth, trying to keep as quiet as she could. Her hips then seemed to get a mind of their own as she started to try to thrust against Kara's mouth, but with Kara holding her hip it didn't amount to much. Kara steadily moved her tongue to circle her clit, then moved it slowly down to slide inside Lena.  
  
"Oh yes, come inside me, Kara." At that Kara could feel the strong pulse of blood through her cock. She was already straining tightly against her jeans and was becoming uncomfortable. Being so close to Lena, her body wanted nothing more than to free her cock and move deep inside her. She could tell Lena wanted that, but she couldn't risk the the pressure and impact to Lena's ankle. She pushed the thought away and moved her tongue deeper inside Lena. Soon it felt like she just couldn't get deep enough, so she slid her tongue back to Lena's clit and lapped and pressed against it as Lena writhed. She moved her free hand so that her fingers teased Lena's entrance. Lena was so wet, she slipped two fingers easily inside as Lena called out.  
  
"Oh fuck! Oh, God, Kara. Yes, fuck me." Lena had her head thrown back and her mouth open as she moaned Kara's name.  
  
"Shhh, Lena, you've got to be quiet." Kara whispered, then moved her tongue back to Lena's clit. She began pumping her fingers steadily faster inside based on how Lena was responding, each time pressing against the spongy part of her front wall as she moved out. She could feel Lena's body especially responding to that. She was very careful and aware of controlling her strength, paying close attention to make sure nothing she was doing hurt. Lena starting to clench around her fingers and Kara heard her breathing and moaning starting to crescendo. Lena was so close, Kara just wanted to push her over the edge, to give her that release.  
  
"Harder, Kara, please don't stop! Yes, yes, ahhh!" Lena called out. Kara started thrusting harder until she felt Lena cumming hard around her fingers. Her muscles clamped tight as she gushed around Kara's fingers. Lena was mumbling blissfully as Kara eased back. She only waited until the clenching against her fingers started to slow before diving back to Lena's clit with her tongue and thrusting her fingers inside again. Lena called out in surprise, but clearly it was a good surprise based on the noises she was making. It wasn't long at all before she was cumming again.  
  
"Jesus, Kara! I don't think I've ever had orgasms that close together before. You're incredible." Lena had lifted up on her elbows to look down at Kara between her legs. "Come up here." She said and dropped her head back down on her pillow at gazed at the ceiling, looking exhausted from the effort to keep her body still and keeping quiet against Kara's onslaught to her senses.  
  
Kara grinned at the praise. She carefully released Lena's hip and wiped her mouth on her shirt, then moved up Lena's body and began peppering the side of Lena's face and neck with gentle kisses as she was coming down from her high. She held herself away from Lena so as not to put any pressure on her body. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara's shoulders as she continued to breathe deeply and her body shivered.  
  
"God, Kara, you make me feel so good. I don't know how you do that, I thought you were supposed to be a newbie!"  
  
"I am, I just, like I said, I'm a motivated student." She smiled shyly, feeling very proud of herself.  
  
"I think it's also because I trust you, more than I've trusted anyone I've been with before. You take such good care of me, and you're so open. I don't think I've felt this comfortable with anyone before."  
  
At that Kara felt a stab of guilt once again about not telling Lena she was an alien. If Lena found out, would she ever trust her again?  
  
"Kara, come closer to me, I want your body against me." Lena gripped Kara's hips and pulled her down.  
  
"Wait, I don't want to put any weight on you." Kara said.  
  
"It's fine, just ease down, you won't disturb my ankle. I want to feel your weight on me."  
  
"But..." Lena pulled down again and even though Kara could have easily held herself away, she had a hard time saying 'no' to Lena, especially when it was something her body was craving too. She eased down but there was no way to avoid Lena feeling the bulge of her cock once their bodies were pressed together.  
  
Lena moaned. "Mmm, you're so hard, Kara. God I wish I could feel your cock inside me." Lena whispered into her ear as she started to squirm again.  
  
"Lena, we can't, it's too much pressure and jarring for your ankle."  
  
"I know, I know." She said, seeming exasperated with her condition.  
  
'It's so hard to stop." Kara said, trying to hold still.  
  
"Ha, hard is right." Lena said, grinding up against Kara's cock with her body. The pressure felt so good to Kara, she struggled not to move in response.  
  
"Sorry. You get me so worked up." Kara said, embarrassed.  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry for, Kara. I just wish there was more I could do." She slid her hand between their bodies and palmed the growing bulge through Kara's jeans.  
  
"God, you're so hard for me." Lena said as she moved her hand slowly up and down her cock. "And you're so big, Kara."  
  
"Lena. please! You're killing me."  
  
"And I love hearing you beg." She continued moving her hand, then shifted on the bed to get a better angle.  
  
"Oww!" She yelled. "Damn, I got excited and forgot about my ankle." Lena eased herself back down on her pillow. She looked at Kara with regret. Then Lena's face lit up like she had a bright idea.  
  
"But that doesn't mean you can't help yourself." She said with an evil grin.  
  
"No. Lena, no. I can't do that."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm just, well, shy, I guess."  
  
"You don't need to be shy around me. Everything about you is beautiful, but seeing your face when you cum, that's a gorgeous sight."  
  
"You're not helping my situation, Lena." Kara laughed.  
  
"I think I can help your situation. I'm not completely useless." Lena slid her fingers into Kara's waistband and started to unbutton her jeans. "Let me help. I'll get you started."  
  
Kara froze, looking like a deer in the headlights.  
  
"Lena, please..." She begged.  
  
"Please what? There's no need for you to suffer. You can put yourself out of your misery."  
  
Still Kara didn't move. Lena began to ease her zipper down and move her hand into Kara's pants. She maneuvered her hand through Kara's boxer briefs to release her cock, which sprang free and expanded well outside her jeans. "I've been dying to see you..."  
  
"Aahhh." Kara moaned at the feeling, still holding herself up by her arms on either side of Lena's head. She ached for Lena's touch.  
  
Lena gasped at the sight of her. "Jesus, Kara. I don't know how else to say this - you have a beautiful cock. I shouldn't be surprised, everything about you is so sexy. But I didn't expect you to be so big."  
  
Kara's cock pulsed at the praise. She groaned as Lena began to stroke her. Lena's bare hand around Kara's cock felt better than anything she could have imagined.  
  
"Oh, fuck, Lena..." Kara began to breath heavily as Lena squeezed harder and moved more quickly.  
  
"Kara, I can't get the right angle, I can't go fast enough..."  
  
"Just keep doing that. It feels amazing." Kara was still straining to be as still as she could, but it was becoming impossible as she began to thrust forward into Lena's hand. Just then they could hear a car pulling up. Kara had lost focus and hadn't been listening closely. She started to pull away, but Lena held her tight.  
  
"Kara, no, it's OK. I want you to finish. We have a little time, just give me your hand."  
  
Kara obeyed and Lena moved Kara's hand to her cock, encouraging her to stroke herself off. Kara couldn't hold out, she wanted to cum and she was out of time. She jerked her hand fast and quickly neared her climax. The sight of Lena nearly naked below her, feeling her hand around her cock, seeing and hearing her cum, it was all so overwhelming. As she was about to cum she realized she hadn't thought it through carefully.  
  
"Lena, I'm cumming, what do I do with...?" Her voice stopped in her throat.  
  
"It's OK, Kara, cum on my stomach." Lena said, sliding her shirt back up over her breasts since it had slipped down with all the movement.  
  
"What? No, Lena, I couldn't!"  
  
"Kara, please, I want you to. I want your cum on me."  
  
At that there was nothing Kara could do. She couldn't hold back any longer. Her cum began to spurt onto Lena's stomach and breasts. The sight of it was making her cum even harder and longer than she ever remembered.  
  
"Oh my god, Lena!"  
  
"Fuck, Kara, that was amazing! That was so fucking hot." Just then they heard steps coming quickly down the hall, followed by banging on Lena's door.  
  
"Oh, shit. They can't see me like this." She reached to her bedside table for tissue to clean herself up.  
  
"I'm getting in the bath, can you come back later?" Lena called loudly. They heard Lillian on the other side of the door sounding annoyed, but eventually she went away.  
  
"I really hate to say this, but you should go."  
  
"I'm not sure I can walk." Kara joked, but she moved away and carefully zipped herself back inside her jeans, still semi-hard even after cumming so hard. She leaned over the bed to give Lena a kiss goodnight. Lena cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes.  
  
"I wish you could stay. I miss you already." Lena said, then knocked her palm against her own head as it dawned on her what she had said. "God, that sounds so cheesy, what's wrong with me? I don't know what it is about you Kara, you've got me saying and doing things I normally wouldn't.  
  
"I wish I could stay, too. I would love to just hold you tonight." Kara said, looking at her with longing. "Let me take you to the bath before I go. Save you some painful steps."  
  
Lena dropped her head back on her pillow. "How can I resist such an offer?"  
  
Kara carefully pulled Lena's shirt down to cover her, then bent and to slide her arms behind her shoulders and knees. She carried Lena bridal style into the large bathroom and set her on a chair next to the tub. Lena rubbed her hands along Kara's biceps appreciatively. Kara turned on the water and made sure her toiletries were within reach, then went to grab her crutches to put them next to the tub for her to get back to bed.  
  
"I'm fine, Kara. I'm not completely helpless, you know." Lena teased.  
  
"I know that, Lena. I just like taking care of you."  
  
"I know." Lena said seriously, almost sad. "Now give me a kiss and get out of here!"  
  
Kara kissed her chastely. "Good night, Lena. I lo..." She caught herself before almost saying 'I love you'. "I mean, I'll see you tomorrow, I hope."  
  
Lena was speechless, she just stared as Kara darted out of the bathroom and to the window.  
  
"I hope so, too." She said quietly after Kara was outside. But, of course, Kara heard every word.


	22. Daydream Believer

That night Alex got home late, after Kara was already in bed. She tried to sneak in without waking her but she needn't have bothered since Kara was wide awake, staring at the ceiling.  
  
"Hi, Alex."  
  
"Hi, Kara. Sorry to wake you."  
  
"I wasn't sleeping. Did you have a nice time tonight?"  
  
"It was OK, kind of a lame party and a drunk guy was hitting me. A downside to being in the closet, I guess."  
  
"Alex, do you ever think about not being in the closet? Now that you're not with Vicki, you don't really need to stay quiet for her."  
  
"I do think about it, but I need to talk to Mom and Dad first. It's such a small town, and I don't want them to hear from someone else. I'm just not ready to face them yet."  
  
"I really think you're underestimating them. They love you and I'm sure they just want you to be happy."  
  
"I hope you're right. Maybe you haven't been around long enough to see the pressure Mom puts on me. As long as I can remember she has had a very clear picture in her mind of how I should be, what I'm capable of, and has very high expectations. It's not fun to disappoint her. I just need more time, Kara."  
  
"Well, please tell me if there's anything I can do to help."  
  
"Thanks, but this is something I can only do myself." She said glumly and rolled over. "Good-night."  
  
"Good-night. Sleep well." Kara continued staring at the ceiling. She was dying to talk to Alex about her day, she had so many questions, but she was having a hard time getting them out. Instead she chose to ask her about something that Alex had told her to ask about.  
  
Many minutes passed before she got up her nerve.  
  
"Alex, are you still awake?"  
  
"Uh-oh. I don't like your tone of voice, Kara. Did something happen?"  
  
"No! Well, yes." Kara struggled to explain. "It's not anything bad, it's just that I tried very hard to NOT have anything happen. But in the end I couldn't stop myself."  
  
"Kara. Did you have unprotected sex?"  
  
"I'm not sure, what do you mean by 'unprotected'?"  
  
"I mean having sex without a condom, like we talked about!"  
  
"Yes. I mean, I think so. Well, I wasn't wearing a condom, and there was definitely a lot of ..." Kara's voice tapered off, she was at a loss to explain herself.  
  
"Kara, I want you to answer one question, and keep in mind that I want to hear ZERO details. I want a 'yes' or 'no' answer."  
  
"OK, what is it?"  
  
"Did you cum inside her?"  
  
"No! No. I didn't. I wanted to..."  
  
"KARA! What did I just say about wanting to hear ZERO details? A 'no' is sufficient."  
  
"Sorry. I'm sure, I did cum, but.."  
  
"OK! Got it." Alex cut her off again, sounding exasperated. "So, based on what you just told me, which I asked not to hear, you want that to change in the future?"  
  
"It's not so much that I want it to change. I mean, my brain doesn't necessarily want that. But sometimes it feels like my brain isn't in charge."  
  
"OK, I know what you mean. That's very normal, Kara. But the thing is, your brain has to be in charge, at least when it comes to wearing a condom for penetrative sex."  
  
"Penetrative! Wow, that sounds painful..."  
  
"Well, it can be. You need to be very careful, especially if you don't know what you're doing." Kara could see Alex's wheels were spinning. "Anyway, we clearly need to get you some condoms. Tomorrow I have the junior class winter break trip. I'm leaving early and won't be back until late..."  
  
"It's OK, Alex. It's not like I'm having 'penetrative sex' tomorrow."  
  
"Alright, now that you know that term, can you please never use it again?"  
  
"Gladly."  
  
"OK, what do you think about asking Eliza to take you to a store for some, or getting some for you?  
  
"I'd say, it's too bad my skin is impenetrable to bullets, because I'd rather shoot myself."  
  
"OK, so that's out. I'll just have to pick some up as soon as I can. And I want you to come with me so you can do it for yourself. I know you'll be too embarrassed to ask for help in the store."  
  
"Thanks, Alex. The thing is, I really don't think I should.., do what you said not to say ever again, until I've told Lena that I'm an alien, and..."  
  
"Kara, we've been over this. It's too risky. If that's the way you feel, which is totally understandable, then maybe you just need to, well, for lack of a better way to say it, just 'keep it in your pants'."  
  
"I agree! That's what I've been trying to do! But today, well...today Lena took it out..."  
  
"Kara! What did I tell you about details?"  
  
"That you don't want any?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"OK. It just seems like no matter what I decide I'm not going to do, when I get close to Lena, it's like it all my decisions and plans go away."  
  
"All the more reason I need to get to the store!" Alex said anxiously.  
  
"Thanks, Alex. I don't know what I'd do without you."  
  
"It's OK. I'm glad you're talking to me about this. You can always talk to me when you need to. Just try to go easy on the details." Alex laughed. "Thinking about your sister having sex is a bit like thinking about your parents having sex. You don't really want those mental images."  
  
"I see what you mean." Kara imagined seeing or hearing about her parents having sex and she totally understood where Alex was coming from.  
  
"Let's try to get some sleep, OK?"  
  
"OK, good-night, Alex."  
  
"Good-night, sis."  
  
Kara stared at the ceiling for a long time. There were so many things she still wanted to talk about. Eventually she gave in again.  
  
"Alex, are you still awake?" She said in a very loud whisper.  
  
"I am now. What is it Kara?"  
  
"It's just, if I'm honest, I know I really do want to have that type of sex with Lena. And she wants that too, she said it while we were..."  
  
"Details, Kara!"  
  
"Right. It's just that I've decided I really need to talk to her first, before we go any further. Today she talked about how she can be more open with me because she trusts me. Just imagine how she would feel if she figures it out without me telling her! She would feel so betrayed. She probably will anyway since I've waited so long."  
  
"Kara, it may not be that big of a deal to her. Maybe she will understand why you didn't tell her and it won't matter so much."  
  
"Maybe. But I doubt it. How would you feel?"  
  
"Pissed. And she probably will be, too."  
  
"Please understand, I have to do this. She just doesn't seem like the type of person to take this lightly, or forgive easily. Or at all."  
  
"Kara, you told me she stopped you when you started to tell her you're falling in love with her."  
  
"Yes. And today I almost said it again, but stopped myself." Kara said.  
  
"Sorry, but that's doesn't give me a lot of confidence in her feelings. Or loyalty. Or trustworthiness." Alex said.  
  
"I know. You're right to question her feelings, but not her trustworthiness. She has a very strong sense of justice, she believes aliens should have the same rights as people. She cares about me. And she doesn't trust her family. She is not going to tell them, I'm sure of it. She may stop seeing me, but she won't tell anyone. You don't know her, but please trust my judgement. I really want you to be OK with this, Alex."  
  
"It's not that I don't trust your judgement, it's just, these types of relationships are very complex. What if she gets upset with you and tells others just to get back at you for not being honest with her?"  
  
"She won't do that. I'm sure she won't. She might hate me, but she won't want to do anything like that to hurt me. I know her, Alex."  
  
"Oh Kara. I have to admit that I think you're right that you should talk to her before things go further physically. But I'm very worried about what could happen if it gets out."  
  
"Please, just trust me, Alex."  
  
"I trust you. I just don't trust her."  
  
"That's just because you don't know her."  
  
"OK, I'll tell you what. Promise me you'll wait until after Christmas to say anything. Just in case she doesn't react well. The last thing I need is a mopey Kryptonian over the holiday. Mom and Dad will know something is wrong and it will spoil their fun if they're worried about you."  
  
"OK, I can do that!" Kara was relieved to have Alex's support in this big decision. Especially if things didn't go well, she would really need her sister on her side. "So, you think it's going to go badly?"  
  
"I don't know. I really hope not. But I think there's a good chance that she'll be upset."  
  
"Yeah, me too." She said glumly.  
  
"Well, look at the bright side. If it does go badly you won't need those condoms after all." Alex said, teasing.  
  
"Alex!" Kara sat up and threw her pillow full force at Alex's head.  
  
"Hey, easy Supergirl! Ouch, remind me to never start a pillow fight with an alien." She said laughing. "Can I go to sleep now?"  
  
"Yes, sorry." Kara said sheepishly. "Thanks, Alex. It means the world to have your support."  
  
"Good, because it's only the world that can save you if this doesn't go well."  
  
***  
  
The next morning Kara awoke so excited and nervous. Now that she had decided to talk to Lena and had Alex's support she couldn't wait, she really wanted to be honest with Lena, even if it upset her. At least they would have a chance to talk it through. Lena had right to know. Kara felt like she was sitting on a time bomb, but she had promised to wait until after Christmas and she would keep her promise to Alex. The next day was Christmas Eve, so she still had a few days to get through before she could say anything. As Eliza drove her to the DMV she realized she was rambling on about nothing, but didn't know how to stop herself.  
  
"Kara, you seem especially excited today. Are you looking forward to Christmas?" Eliza asked.  
  
"Sure. Well, I guess I'm excited that you are all excited. It's fun to see what a big deal it is to everyone. I guess it's all the presents."  
  
"I think that's what it is for children, but what it becomes as you grow up is more about spending time with family and friends, taking a real break from everything. There are very few times this happens during the year where so many people just stop and spend time together. Most of the stores in town will close early tomorrow for Christmas Eve and most won't open at all on Christmas Day. It's really something to see, and it only comes once a year."  
  
"I do love seeing all the decorations everywhere. It's so beautiful at night with all the lights. It reminds me of the stars and planets." Kara hesitated, but she had to talk to Eliza about Lena being alone for the holiday. "Eliza, I know this is a really important time for family, but I was wondering if Lena could come over for Christmas Eve. I know you're planning a big dinner. It's just that, well, her family is going out of town tomorrow and she isn't going because of her ankle. She'll be all alone and I think that would be really hard considering what a special time of year it is for most people. Just imagine being in a big, empty house, with no one around but a few staff..." She realized she was rambling again.  
  
"Kara, it's OK. Sure she can come. No one should be alone on Christmas. Besides, I've been wanting to meet the girl who's put your head in the clouds!"  
  
"What, my 'head in the clouds'?" Kara asked, alarmed. Did Eliza know she had flown with Lena?  
  
"It's a metaphor. It just means you seem distracted, daydreaming a lot. I've just been wondering if it might have something to do with Lena."  
  
"Oh, I didn't realize I was doing that. But yes, maybe it is. I like her so much, Eliza."  
  
"Well, I'm looking forward to meeting her."  
  
"Thank you!" Kara was so excited about bringing Lena to dinner. And getting her license. And celebrating her first Christmas. But more than anything she was excited to be able to be honest with Lena. She just had to hold out a bit longer.  
  
When they got to the DMV Kara got a perfect score on her written test and also passed her driving test with flying colors. She was extremely nervous while driving with the official that was testing her. But she had spent a lot of time driving the truck around the ranch, plus several sessions with Jeremiah out on the road, so she was well prepared. Her heart soared as she came out of the DMV with the tiny plastic card with her picture on it, giving her permission to operate any 2-axle vehicle weighing 10,000 pounds or less - a fact she had learned for written exam.  
  
Eliza climbed into the passenger side of the car. "OK, it's all yours, Kara. Take us home."  
  
Kara couldn't stop smiling. She put it in gear and, very carefully, hit the gas.  
  
***  
  
That afternoon Kara called Lena from the ranch office after she was done with work. She was surprised by the large, old style land line phone. The handset was about the size of a banana and was attached by a tightly coiled, springy line to a boxy, heavy black phone with a big rotary dial - much different from the sleek, wireless handset of the Danvers' landline at their house When she talked to Lena she was disappointed to hear that the Luthors were having a big family dinner, just as Lena expected. Both her parents had stayed home that day to prepare for their trip and Lena thought it best that Kara not try to come over.  
  
"Tomorrow they're flying out in the afternoon, then there will just be a few staff around. They mostly stay out of this wing of the house unless we ring for them." Lena said.  
  
"I understand, it's fine, I was just looking forward to seeing you."  
  
"I know, me too." Lena said.  
  
"So, what did the doctor have to say about your ankle?"  
  
"Oh, it was all good news! She said it was healing well and that it's actually a good thing to start putting some weight on it. Not running a marathon or anything, but I should walk with the aircast for support a few times a day."  
  
"That's great!" Kara said, relieved to hear Lena was getting better and especially that it seemed they hadn't done anything the day before to slow her healing.  
  
"Lena, I wanted to ask you if you'll come for our Christmas dinner."  
  
"Oh Kara, I can't do that. That's really a family thing."  
  
"I knew you would say that, but it's OK, I promise. Eliza is happy for you to come. She really wants to meet you!"  
  
"Ha, I bet. She's probably worried about you spending so much time with the notorious Lena Luthor, and wants to have a look for herself."  
  
"It's not like that, Lena. Yes, she is curious, but not because she's worried or thinks you're...notorious! She says she wants to meet the girl who has me daydreaming so often.,."  
  
"Daydreaming, huh?" Lena said, giggling.  
  
"Yes. It's true. I can't stop thinking about you and, I didn't realize it, but it seems she noticed that I've had 'my head in the clouds'." Kara said.  
  
"Hmm. Well, I have to admit I had some nice dreams about you last night."  
  
"You did? What happened?"  
  
"Well, one very vivid dream happened on the ranch. We had just gotten back to the barn after a long ride..." Lena said, her voice changing into a quiet, seductive tone. Kara could feel her body start to respond. She looked furtively around the office and listened carefully and even used her x-ray vision to see if anyone was nearby. She knew Cisco was at the other barn and that most of the hands had gone home already or been given the day off since it was almost Christmas. Lionel had told Cisco that the family wouldn't be riding at all that week.  
  
"Oh? Then what happened?" Kara couldn't resist asking for more details.  
  
"Well, when we got back I helped you put up the gear. It always gets me hot to see you handling those heavy saddles like they're nothing..."  
  
Kara gulped, realizing she hadn't done a good job pretending with the saddles. They probably should have seemed much heavier to her.  
  
"So, I couldn't help myself from running my hands over your arms, squeezing your muscles. They're so hard..."  
  
"Lena, wait." Kara could feel herself getting hard at the sound of her voice. "We should stop before this goes too far. I'm already starting to..."  
  
"Too far? What's too far? I don't want to stop. I never want to stop when it comes to you." Lena said. "Where are you right now?"  
  
"I'm in the ranch office."  
  
"Is anyone else around?"  
  
"Not at the moment. It's a bit of a ghost town today due the holiday."  
  
"Go shut the door, Kara. I want to tell you more about my dream..."  
  
"Lena..."  
  
"Kara. Go shut the door. Now." As usual, Kara felt herself helpless to say 'no' to Lena, especially when she as asking for something that Kara really wanted to do. She went and quietly shut the door.  
  
"Good girl." Lena said and Kara could almost hear her smirking over the line. "Now, as I was saying. I was running my hands along your arms, dragging my nails over your bulging muscles and telling you how much I love your arms. You looked at me like you wanted to have me for dinner."  
  
"What? I don't do that!" Kara protested.  
  
"Oh yes, Kara, you certainly do!" Lena laughed. "And I love it when you do."  
  
Kara didn't realize she was so obvious with her reactions to Lena.  
  
"So, anyway, back to my dream. As I was rubbing your arms you suddenly grabbed my hand and dragged me into one of the horse stalls, pushed the door closed and shoved me against it. You pushed your body against mine, I felt so helpless against your power..."  
  
"Lena, I would never use my strength to overpower you!  
  
"Kara, I meant that in a good way. I like to think about you holding me still, going after what you want, you know that."  
  
"Oh...OK, I..." Kara was at a loss for words, imagining herself holding Lena tightly against the wall of the stall.  
  
"So, as I was saying, you pushed me hard against the wall and then kissed me. I could feel your tongue pushing roughly into my mouth. I felt so helpless, I just wanted you to take me..."  
  
"Oh god, Lena...I.." Kara interrupted Lena, she could feel herself getting hard and was anxious that someone might come to the office.  
  
"I could feel your cock against my stomach, you were so hard already. I love how fast I can make you hard."  
  
At that Kara could feel her cock straining against her jeans.  
  
"Lena, you're doing that to me right now."  
  
"Mmm, that's what I like to hear." She said, giggling. "It's OK to touch yourself if you're getting excited."  
  
"But I'm in the office!"  
  
"So what? There's no one there. Go ahead."  
  
"Well, what about you?"  
  
"What about me?"  
  
"I want you to touch yourself, too." Kara said, firmly.  
  
"I will if you will." Lena said and the line got quiet. "Kara, are you still there?"  
  
"Yes, I...OK."  
  
"OK? Are you doing it?" The line got quiet again. "Kara, I'm sliding my hand into my panties now. Oh god, you've made me so wet already just thinking about you..."  
  
"Mmmphf." Kara was speechless at the image of Lena sliding her hand into her panties, of her being so wet. She imagined how good Lena would taste if she could put her tongue on her.  
  
"Kara, I want you to unbutton your jeans. Now." Once again Kara was helpless to say no. She cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder. Slowly she began unbutton her jeans.  
  
"Did you do it?"  
  
"Yes, I...tell me more about what your doing. Please." Kara wanted to hear Lena moaning, she thought there was no better sound than Lena in ecstasy.  
  
"Oh, Kara, I'm sliding my fingers around my clit, so slippery and swollen. So wet. I'm thinking about your cock. Are you hard yet?"  
  
"Yes, Lena, yes. You're making me so hard, I..."  
  
"Take out your cock, Kara. Please, slide it out of your jeans, I want you to wrap your fingers around that beautiful cock of yours."  
  
Kara couldn't help but ease her zipper down and slide her hand inside her boxer briefs. She wrapped her fist tightly around her cock. "Aaahhh!" She let out an unintentional gasp as she did it.  
  
"Now, isn't that better?" Lena said. "Mmm, that big cock would feel so good against my pussy right now..." Lena trailed off a bit as she started to moan and breathe more quickly into the phone. Kara could tell Lena was touching herself and she began stroke her cock slowly.  
  
"I want to...I want to tell you more about my dream." Lena stuttered, clearly getting aroused and having trouble with her sentences.  
  
"Oh god, yes, please tell me more." Kara pleaded.  
  
"Mmm, I do love it when you beg." Lena groaned. "So, you were pushing me hard against the...the wall of the stall and I could feel your cock...pushing into my stomach..." Lena's breathing was getting more labored.  
  
"Oh yes..." Kara gasped out. She was picturing herself pressing Lena against the wall, her cock sandwiched between their stomachs, rubbing into Lena's stomach. Her mind flashed to the sight the day before, of her cum spurting all over Lena's stomach and breasts. "Oh, fuck.." Kara groaned deeply.  
  
Kara realized she could quickly find herself in a similar situation as the day before. She glanced around the room frantically and spotted a bandana on the desk. _Sorry Cisco _, she thought to herself as she grabbed it to catch her cum._ It's better than the alternative,_.  
  
"So, I eased my hands between us, unbuttoning and reaching into your jeans..." Lena paused again, catching her breath. "Remember when I did that yesterday? I slipped my hand into your briefs...oh, god, I can feel your big cock, I'm sliding my fingers around it..."  
  
"Fuck, Lena, yes I remember." Kara gasped for air. "Sometimes I can hardly think of anything else."  
  
"Right, the daydreaming..." Lena laughed.  
  
"Are you still touching yourself?"  
  
"Of course, I can't help it, thinking about holding your cock gets me so worked up..." Lena groaned loudly. "I'm sliding my fingers inside myself now."  
  
"Oh god, yes. Lena, I wish I could be there. I wish I could taste you...and fuck you. God, you taste so good..."  
  
"Speaking of tasting..." Lena teased. "So, I've got my fingers wrapped around you...I've got you by the cock and now I'm taking control..."  
  
"Oh, Lena..." Kara moaned.  
  
"I push you off me and turn you around, then push you against the wall. Your cock is so big, it's all the way out of your jeans now..." Lena stopped again to catch her breath.  
  
"Lena, I, I'm..."  
  
"I can't resist any longer. I go down on my knees..."  
  
"Jesus! Fuck, Lena...I..." Kara became completely incoherent at the mental image of Lena on her knees before her cock.  
  
"Kara, don't cum yet!" Lena commanded through her gasps. "Once you hear me cum...then it's your turn..."  
  
"OK, yes, yes, anything you want.." Kara was having a hard time holding on, but she really did want Lena to cum first.  
  
"Good girl. So, I'm on my knees and you're...leaning against the wall." Lena was struggling to speak again, but she seemed determined to keep talking about her dream. "What are you thinking about now?" She gasped out.  
  
"I'm, I..." Kara's voice faded out.  
  
"Tell me, Kara. Tell me or I'm hanging up."  
  
"No! I mean...please don't. Please keep going."  
  
"Then tell me...honestly, what are you thinking about?"  
  
"Your mouth!" Kara blurted out. "Your mouth, so close...so close to my cock."  
  
"Very good, Kara...That's exactly what I'm thinking about, too." She said, catching her breath. "I'm thinking about putting your cock in my mouth."  
  
"Oh god, yes. Oh fuck, Lena!" Kara was struggling. She'd stopped stroking herself and just held on tightly to her cock. It difficult to stop herself from cumming just at the thought of Lena's mouth on her, even without stroking herself.  
  
"Is that what you want, Kara?"  
  
"Yes, yes, Lena!" She groaned.  
  
"Then say it..." Kara was breathing heavily over the line but didn't say anything.  
  
"OK, Kara. I'm hanging up..." Lena teased.  
  
"No! Please, don't leave me like this." Kara begged. "I want...I want your mouth around my cock!"  
  
"Oh, fuck, me too." Lena breathed out. "I'm opening my mouth, moving it slowly to your cock. Now I'm licking the tip. Can you feel that? Oh...I'm taking you into my mouth.... Can you feel your cock sliding on my tongue?"  
  
"Yes, yes, Lena, your mouth, your tongue. God, I want you so much, I..."  
  
"Mmm, your cock tastes good, Kara...I'm licking you,...swirling my tongue around the tip. I'm sliding it in...oh yes...my whole mouth is wet and hot around your cock. God, you're leaking onto my tongue...mmm, I love the taste of your cum..."  
  
"Oh, Lena...your mouth...I, I can't hold out much longer..."  
  
"Wait on me, Kara...not yet." Kara could hear her breathing get even faster. She could hear the sound of Lena's fingers moving deeper inside her. "Oh, fuck, Kara, I'm cumming. Oh fuck, yes!" Lena called out, repeating Kara's name.  
  
As Kara heard Lena cum she started to stroke herself again and almost immediately her cock started spurting. "Oh, yes, Lena! Oh my god, you make me cum so hard! Ummpff." Kara lost her words as she continued cumming into the bandana.  
  
"Wow, just, wow. That was amazing! Just thinking about you touching me, your mouth..."  
  
"Mmm, I know, Kara. I get so excited just imagining you..."  
  
"Wow, Lena, that was some dream you had!" She shoved the bandana in her pocket and was carefully tucking herself back into her jeans. She was nervous about getting caught in the office, a place she didn't usually spend much time.  
  
"Well, it may have been more of a daydream than a dream. A fantasy. But a fantasy that could easily come true!" She laughed. "Once I'm back on my feet, as they say. Yesterday when I had you in my bed, when I saw your big cock, I just wanted to...well, it's a real drag being out due to injury. So glad that I'm on the mend..."  
  
"Well, I think that has just become my number one daydream. Now Eliza will be even more sure I've got my 'head in the clouds' over you. I just wish I could put my arms around you right now, to feel your body against mine. God, just thinking about your body, Lena. I want you so much."  
  
"I wish I could see you, Kara. I'd love to have your arms around me right now. You're always so sweet to me when I'm coming down."  
  
"Lena, please come to dinner tomorrow. I really need to stay with the Danvers since it's Christmas Eve. And I've got my license! I can come pick you up. And I can carry you out, you won't even need to use your ankle..." Kara pleaded.  
  
"Kara, you don't need to carry me. Don't you remember what the doctor said? It's good for me to start walking a bit."  
  
"So you'll come?" Kara asked.  
  
"Wait, I didn't say that!"  
  
"Please, Lena. I don't want you to be alone tomorrow. And, selfishly speaking, I can't wait 3 days to see you." Kara waited but Lena didn't respond.  
  
"Good. I'm picking you up at 5:00!" Kara said.  
  
"OK, you win, Kara." Lena said quietly.  
  
"Great!" Kara said, beaming. "I can't wait to see you, Lena."  
  
"I better go. I need to bathe before the 'family dinner'."  
  
"OK. Wish I was there to help you."  
  
"Hmm, me too."  
  
"Well, I hope you have a nice time with your family."  
  
"Right. There's nothing nicer than a Luthor family dinner." She said sarcastically.  
  
"Ha. Well, I think you'll like the Danvers. At least, you won't hate them? It'll be fun, I promise! I'm so excited you're going to meet them."  
  
"Well, I know I like one of the Danvers quite a lot. I'll reserve my judgement about the rest." Lena teased. Kara was relieved to hear her spirit returning. She could tell by Lena's voice that she was starting to feel down while thinking about her family. Kara imagined it must hurt that Lex wasn't even coming to Midvale before their holiday in the city, on top of the fact that her parents decided to go without her.  
  
"I'll see you soon." Kara promised.  
  
"Right, bye, Kara." Kara heard the loud dial tone as Lena quickly hung up.  
  
"Good-bye, Lena." She whispered into the dead line. "I love you."


	23. When Night is Falling

Kara was excited about her first Christmas Eve on Earth, but also jumping out of her skin with nerves about Lena coming over for dinner with the Danvers. She wasn’t sure whether she was more nervous about Lena meeting Eliza or Eliza meeting Lena. She wasn’t nervous about Alex or Jeremiah. She was sure that, deep down, Alex and Jeremiah would approve of Lena, and vice versa. But she could definitely imagine some tensions between Lena and Eliza.  
  
When she got to the mansion the next day right at 5:00 she marched up to the front door and rang the bell. It felt empowering not to sneak in the window, even if she knew Lena’s parents weren’t home. A very serious looking woman answered the door and showed her up to Lena’s room. Lena called for her to come in and Kara found her sitting at her desk in a very simple but stunning emerald dress. She was tightening up her aircast and looked up at Kara with a dazzling smile.  
  
“Wow, Lena. You look amazing.”  
  
“You do say the sweetest things…” Lena said with a smirk. “And you’re not so bad yourself.”  
  
Kara was wearing navy pants with a pin-striped shirt neatly tucked neatly in and sleeves rolled up to her elbows.  
  
“I’ve never seen you in anything but jeans. You clean up nice.” Lena took Kara’s hand and pulled her closer.  
  
“And thank you for rolling these up. I love your forearms.” She said, sliding her fingertips up Kara’s arm and partially under her shirt sleeves. “And the rest of them as well.”  
  
Kara shivered at the feeling. She cupped Lena’s jaw and bent to kiss her gently. “Mmm, I’ve missed your lips.”  
  
“It’s only been 48 hours - but who’s counting?” Lena laughed.  
  
“Are you ready?”  
  
“As I’ll ever be.” Lena said, sounding wary.  
  
“It’s going to be fine Lena. I promise. It's going to be great, even. They are going to love you.”  
  
“OK, lead the way.” Kara helped her get to her feet and Lena grabbed her crutches. On the stair landing they fought about whether Kara could help her. Finally they compromised at Kara carrying her down the stairs and Lena walking the rest.  
  
"Wow, nice ride!" Lena said when she saw the dark green Suburu wagon. "Definitely has a mom vibe."  
  
"Well, that makes sense because it's Eliza's. I got my license yesterday! But Cisco hasn't bought his new truck yet, so I'm borrowing this."  
  
"OK, I'm resisting the MILF joke. I hope you appreciate my control." Lena smirked.  
  
"MILF?"  
  
"Never mind." Lena laughed. "And don't google it!"  
  
Kara opened the door and Lena flopped down on the seat under her own power.  
  
"Ready ma'am?" Kara asked before shutting the door.  
  
"For anything! "  
  
Kara put her crutches in the back seat and started the engine. She was beyond excited at the thought of driving Lena and very nervous about her meeting the family.  
  
***  
  
When they got to house all the Danvers came out on to the porch to greet Lena with wide smiles. It seemed Lena couldn't resist returning with a wide smile of her own.  
  
"Lena, we're so glad you could join us for dinner!" Eliza said extending her hand warmly.  
  
"Thank you so much for having me, Dr. Danvers. I'm thrilled for the chance to meet you and the rest of your family." Kara watched in amazement. It was like Lena had flipped a switch and turned on her "charming strangers" personality. She'd never seen it before and she found it mesmerizing.  
  
"Please, call me Eliza. And you can call the other Dr. Danvers - " Eliza gestured to her husband. "- Jeremiah."  
  
Jeremiah stepped up and took Lena's hand in both of his. "We're so glad to meet the woman who has put this smile on our Kara's face."  
  
After shaking Jeremiah's hand Lena turned pointedly to Alex, looking her directly in the eye. "And you must be the famous sister, Alex."  
  
"I'm not sure about the famous part, but I am Alex, so guilty, as charged." Alex stepped forward, smiling and gripping Lena's hand tightly.  
  
"And you are the one who keeps my sister up at night with questions till all hours." Alex said smile.  
  
"I suspect that I also am guilty, as charged." Lena said with a large side eye to Kara. "Kara talks about you so often, I feel like I know you already."  
  
"Same." Alex said with a knowing grin.  
  
"Hello! I'm right here, people!" Kara said, sounding annoyed but smiling ear-to-ear with how smoothly the introductions were going.  
  
"Right! well, please come in. What would you like to drink?" Eliza said and led them all into the kitchen.  
  
Before long they were sat down for a dinner. Kara plowed through piles of food while the humans eat at a typical human pace. They spoke on a wide range of topics. Lena was especially excited to hear about the Danvers' research.  
  
"So, I know you're both scientists, but haven't heard a much detail about what you work on." Lena said about half way through dinner.  
  
"Well, my terminal degree is in bio-engineering and Jeremiah's is in astrophysics. We work on related research and sometimes even get to overlap on projects. It's a lot of fun. Well, mostly." Eliza said with smiling wryly at Jeremiah, seeming to remember times when working and living together were less than ideal.  
  
"Impressive. I'd love to hear me more about the projects your working on" Lena said, sounding fascinated.  
  
"I'm sorry, we really can't tell you a lot about what we're doing due to non-disclosure agreements that have to sign before beginning any new projects."  
  
"I understand." Lena said, disappointed. "There is a lot of top-secret work going on at Luthor Corp and the scientists there are always very careful about what they let me hear and see."  
  
"Ha, I bet you could help them a lot if they would just let you work with them!" Kara said, obviously annoyed with the short-sighted staff of Lionel's company.  
  
"Thanks, Kara." Lena said, giving her a smile and squeezing her hand. "Who knows, maybe someday." She said wistfully.  
  
"Yeah, maybe someday when you're running the place!"  
  
Lena smiled sadly and got quiet.  
  
"So, Kara tells us you are a big horse rider!" Eliza said, seeing that Lena was uncomfortable and trying to change the subject.  
  
"I love riding horses. I used to compete when I was younger, but it became difficult once we started moving so often during the year." Lena said. "Kara's actually quite good - she's a real natural! When I saw her ride I couldn't believe she had only been at it a couple of months."  
  
"Lena's been teaching me some things..." Kara said with a wide smile.  
  
"She's a very quick learner!: Lena cut in with a sly look and wink at Kara.  
  
"Well, Kara can do about anything she sets her mind to." Jeremiah bragged.  
  
"Lena, tell us about your school." Eliza said.  
  
"Oh, well, I attend Wicklow Academy."  
  
"Wow, very prestigious."  
  
"Yes, they have adequate academics, but I'm definitely looking forward to moving on to something more challenging."  
  
"Lena is brilliant, Eliza. Someday she is going to change the world!" Kara said enthusiastically.  
  
Lena stayed quiet but looked at Kara with a secret smile.  
  
"Is that right?" Eliza said, turning towards Lena. "I remember when Jeremiah and I used to talk about how we would change the world. These days it seems we often spend more time on paperwork and risk assessment than science. But I suppose that is all part of the game.  
  
"I suppose." Lena said, thoughtfully. "My dream is to run my own institution some day so that I don't have to dig through red tape. If I'm the boss I can decide how much risk is acceptable myself. Assuming I can set up an amenable Board."  
  
"Wow you really have this all figured out." Jeremiah said, sounding impressed.  
  
"I have given it some thought, yes. But there are so many things out of my control...Sometimes I'm not sure how I'll ever get to the point where I'm really calling the shots and carrying out work that matters."  
  
Kara could see the Danvers were impressed with Lena, even if they couldn't talk about their own work. The rest of the dinner went well, with laughs and teasing among the family members. After dinner they played "RISK", one of the few games they all knew. Jeremiah bragged that he was the family champion, but by the end of it Lena was the victor. She was very gracious about it and excused herself to go to the restroom.  
  
The game had lasted well into the night and Kara took the opportunity to ask whether she could stay the night at Lena's so that she wouldn't be alone.  
  
"I don't know, Kara. It doesn't seem like a good idea for you to stay over when her parents aren't home." Eliza said.  
  
Kara resisted the urge to complain that Alex had stayed at Vicki's plenty of times. Her parents were there and they were still having sex! Of course, she never dreamed of saying anything like that.  
  
"What about her staying here?" Kara asked when she could see she wasn't going to get anywhere.  
  
"Well, that's fine if she wants to. Remember we are opening our family presents in the morning. So it might be a bit awkward."  
  
"No problem, I'll run her home in the morning if she doesn't want to be around for that. She probably won't."  
  
After much pleading and pouting by Kara, Lena agreed to stay over. It was decided she would stay in the guest room so that she wouldn't have to deal with the stairs.  
  
"I wouldn't want you carrying me up the stairs." Lena said with a laugh. "Coming down is a lot easier."  
  
Eliza, Jeremiah, and Alex all looked at Kara with wide eyes, realizing that she had been carrying Lena around.  
  
"Well, we better get to bed. Santa comes early, I'm told!" Kara said, rushing to change the subject.  
  
"Right." Alex said, glaring at her. Kara dreaded the discussion she was sure they would be having later that night.  
  
Kara showed Lena to the downstairs guestroom and then went to get her something to sleep in. When she returned Lena was sitting on the bed taking off her aircast.  
  
"Feels good to get that off." She said. "What did you bring me?"  
  
Kara handed over a "Midvale Women's Rugby" T-shirt, some sleep pants and an unopened toothbrush.  
  
"Have a lot of overnight guests, do you?"  
  
"What? No..."  
  
"I'm kidding, Kara, I just meant since you seem to have a stock of toothbrushes for just such an occasion." Lena said with a grin.  
  
"Oh, well...fresh breath is a priority of my life!" Kara grinned, stealing a line from a cheesy 80s teen comedy that was one of Alex's favorites.  
  
"Ha, look at you breaking out the John Hughes' quote!" Lena said sounding surprised.  
  
Kara giggled that Lena knew what she was talking about. Lena read the T-shirt and grinned. "Wow, women's rugby? How very European!"  
  
"Well, it's a new team and there aren't many others in the region. A friend of mine just started it this year. I'm not really on the team, just the manager."  
  
"Oh, I bet they would love to get their hands on you!" Lena said with a grin.  
  
"Well, yes, they do want me to play." Kara said, clearly wishing she could play. "But it's not really for me."  
  
"Hmm, well, I'd love to see a match." Lena said.  
  
"Sorry, the season is over and we won't start back until spring."  
  
Lena looked down at the shirt and smiled. "Actually, I was hoping you would bring me your 'Supergirl' shirt. I have really nice visual memories of that one."  
  
Kara blushed. "Hmm, I remember. It was a very memorable phone call....I seem to have a lot of those with you!"  
  
"Me too. I'm still thinking about our call when you were in the ranch office..." Lena said quietly.  
  
Kara gulped. She vividly remembered the call, but she knew she couldn't go down that road, not in the Danvers house where she couldn't act on her feelings.  
  
"Thanks for coming to dinner. The family really enjoyed having you here." Kara changed the subject and reached out to take Lena's hand.  
  
"I enjoyed it, too." Lena said with a laugh. "Your family is really wonderful. They clearly care about you very much. Although Alex scares me a little. I think she would put the hurt on anyone to protect her little sister. She was very kind though, very generous of her to be so open to sharing her family Christmas Eve with a stranger."  
  
"Well, she probably doesn't think of you as a stranger since I talk about you all the time!" Kara said, laughing."You're right, she is very protective of me, but she really enjoyed you being here. I could tell she was impressed and had fun. It is nice to have someone who cares that I can to talk to. She helps me understand so many things. I don't know what I'd do without her."  
  
"You're very lucky to have someone like that. And I'm sure you would do anything to help her as well."  
  
"I would! Absolutely." Kara said.  
  
"It was fun to see you charming the Danvers tonight. It was like I was seeing a different side that you engage when you want to impress people."  
  
"Ms. Danvers, are you saying you don't find me charming when I'm alone with you?"  
  
"Ha, not at all! It's just, you're different with me..."  
  
Lena thought about it for a minute. "Yes, I'm sure that's true. I think I'm more direct and open with you than I am with others. And you're right, I know how to 'turn on the charm' when I want to. The truth is, I wanted your family to like me. Mostly because they mean so much to you. But it turns out that I really like them as well."  
  
"That makes me so happy, Lena!" Kara said, beaming. "Well, I guess I better let you get to sleep. Is there anything else I can do for you before I go up?"  
  
"How about a little help?" Lena said, turning and gesturing to the zipper on the back of her dress.  
  
Kara's throat got very dry. She went and closed the door, never one to refuse helping Lena when she asked for it. She sat down on the bed behind her and eased the zipper down. She inhaled sharply as the emerald dress pooled around Lena's waist, revealing her back, naked except for a lacy bra. She stole Kara's breath away with her pale skin in the dim light of the guest room.  
  
"Kara, this one latches from behind." Lena teased, gesturing to her bra. With nervous fingers Kara gently unlatched the bra. As she eased the straps over Lena's shoulders she couldn't resist giving her a small kiss on the side of her neck. As she eased the bra down her arms Lena grabbed her hand and pulled it to her breast, causing Kara to inhale sharply again. Without thinking she covered Lena's breast with her hand and began to squeeze and rub her palm over Lena's nipple. She thrilled at the finding Lena's nipple straining, as if calling for Kara's touch. Kara squeezed it tightly.  
  
"Oh, yes!" Lena whispered, her mouth falling open. At that Kara couldn't resist continuing to kiss down the side of her neck and along the top of her shoulders. She moved her body in tight to Lena's back and reached for the other breast as she started open mouth kisses and bites. She could feel herself losing control when suddenly she heard a loud noise from the kitchen. Kara startled and pulled herself back.  
  
"Lena, I'm sorry, I have to stop. I really don't want to, but I know Eliza and Jeremiah are probably on alert to make sure I make it back to bed. I'm really glad they let you stay, I don't want to do anything that would upset them in their house."  
  
"I don't want that either." Lena agreed.  
  
She picked up the T-shirt and pulled it over Lena's head. Next she eased the sleep pants on carefully over Lena's bad ankle and up to her waist. They were both breathing faster than usual and feeling disappointed.  
  
"I wish I could sleep here with you. But at least I don't have to think about you in that big house all alone."  
  
"Kara, I feel alone in that house whether my family is there or not." Lena said with a weak smile. "But you're right, it would be rather depressing to be there alone on Christmas Eve. Thank you for insisting I come and stay."  
  
"You're welcome. I'm really glad you came. Tomorrow morning we'll have a big breakfast and then open presents. You're welcome to stay."  
  
"No, Kara, I really couldn't. I'll call the driver and get picked up after breakfast."  
  
"What - no! At least let me take you home." Kara said. "Besides, I have to take every driving excuse I can get!"  
  
"Fine." Lena said. "Now give me a kiss good-night." Lena commanded.  
  
Kara grinned and leaned in for an easy kiss. She pulled back sooner than she wanted, resisting the urge to fall into a deep kiss.  
  
"Good night, Lena."  
  
"Sweet dreams, Kara."


	24. I Don't Want to Wait in Vain

That night Kara managed to get away with only a minor scolding from Alex for carrying Lena. She argued that it didn't really matter any more since she was going to tell Lena very soon. She had a hard time falling asleep, imagining Lena sleeping just downstairs. She finally drifted off, but then awoke very early before it was light. She crept downstairs and listened outside the door of the guestroom. She could hear Lena's steady breathing and could tell she was asleep. She tried to make herself move away to the living room, but first allowed herself a quick peak into the room. She saw Lena fast asleep, with her head resting on her hand and her silky hair scattered gracefully over the pillow. Kara inhaled sharply at how beautiful she looked while sleeping, how peaceful. Her brain was screaming to her body to move away and close the door, but as was often the case with Lena, her body wouldn't obey her brain. Unfortunately for her, her sharp inhale caused Lena to stir. She rolled over on her back and moved her arms down. Kara startled, but moved forward unable to resist watching Lena's new position, which was just as beautiful as when she was laying on her side. She could now see her "Midvale Women's Rugby" shirt stretched across Lena chest and it gave her a warm, tight feeling in her chest, like she wanted to wrap Lena up and protect her from cruel, thoughtless people who failed to see how amazing she was. Finally Kara convinced herself to leave, but somehow knocked against a small table as she was backing out, causing a book to fall to the floor. It was a big book that landed with thump. Kara's eyes darted to the book, then back to Lena, whose eyes were fluttering. Kara hurried out and closed the door quickly. Still, she couldn't help but hear Lena through the door.  
  
"Kara?"  
  
She was busted. She eased the door back open and peered in. Lena was looking back at her with heavy lids.  
  
"Sorry, Lena! I didn't mean to wake you. I just couldn't resist peeking in. Did you sleep OK?"  
  
"Absolutely. That is, until someone started crashing around my room before the crack of dawn!"  
  
"I'm really sorry. I'll let you get back to sleep." Kara said sheepishly, backing out of the room.  
  
"Wait! Now that you're here, I am feeling a little chilly. Why don't you come here and warm me up?"  
  
Kara couldn't resist moving closer and laying down on the bed. Lena took her hand and rolled away from her, pulling Kara's arm around her as she snuggled back into the covers. Kara stayed above the covers and wrapped her up in a tight squeeze.  
  
"I dreamed of you last night." She whispered just behind Lena's ear.  
  
"Did you?" Lena smirked. "Do tell."  
  
"I dreamed we were riding, far into the forest. Back to that old abandoned barn. No was looking for us. No one knew where we were. We laid together in the old hay pile..."  
  
"Oh, I remember what happened in that hay. And what might have happened if we weren't so rudely interrupted..." Lena chuckled.  
  
"Yes, I remember. I guess I've thought about it so much that it carried into my dreams."  
  
"Kara, come stay at my house with me tonight. After all your family Christmas day festivities are over." Lena pleaded. "My parents won't be back until tomorrow. We could have the whole night to ourselves, without worrying about someone coming to find us or beating on the door. Even if we only sleep, it would be nice to have just one night together..."  
  
"Lena, that sounds amazing. But I already asked Eliza and Jeremiah if I could stay over with you and they said I couldn't while your parents are away."  
  
Lena sounded a bit dejected. "Are you sure you can't convince her? It would just be nice to have some time together in peace. I dread my parents return when we have to be even more careful that they don't catch me..."  
  
"With a ranch hand." Kara said, sadly.  
  
"It's not just you being a hand, Kara, although that is a big part of it. They just have a very specific idea about who I should be with. And they can make my life difficult if they aren't happy with me. Top on the list would be sending me back to school early."  
  
"I understand. I really do. And I don't want to do anything that might jeopardize your stay here."  
  
"But they'll still be in the city until tomorrow. And there won't be anyone in the house that cares enough to find out I have an overnight guest."  
  
"Lena, believe me, there's nothing I want want more than to spend the night with you. But Eliza and Jeremiah clearly said they didn't want me staying over while your parents aren't there." Kara thought for a moment. "Of course, they were fine with Alex staying at Vicki's many times. But apparently they think they were just friends. And her parents were always there. I guess they were just clueless. Until they saw with their own eyes..."  
  
"Poor Alex. That whole deal was just...awful."  
  
"Yeah, I guess parents feel pretty strongly about these sorts of things in Midvale."  
  
"It's OK, Kara. Forget I asked. Sorry if I sounded a bit desperate. That's not really me."  
  
"You didn't sound desperate at all. You're making me feel you all the way to my knees. The thought of holding you through the night...well, I can't imagine anything better."  
  
"Maybe someday..." Lena said wistfully. "Just hold me now. It's not quite light. We can watch the sun coming up. Will you open the curtains?"  
  
Kara got up and opened the curtains, then slid back behind Lena in the bed. She wrapped her arms around her and pressed her lips against the spot where Lena's neck met her shoulders. She was careful not to do anything to start something they couldn't finish, but she longed to be closer. She wrapped her body tighter around Lena's and took her hand as they gazed out at the brilliant reddish orb making it's way over the horizon. They watched until they saw the sun blaze into view and they heard the others starting to move around. Lena pulled Kara's hand to her lips and gave her a gentle kiss.  
  
"I better go before the crew comes down."  
  
Lena let go of a deep, reluctant breath. "Get out of here, Romeo."  
  
Kara laughed and slipped away quietly and carefully. By the time Jeremiah made it down she had coffee brewing and was sat down at the large bar in the center of the kitchen.  
  
***  
  
Jeremiah made a fantastic breakfast with piles of pancakes, eggs, and fruit with only minor assistance from Kara. They all stuffed themselves and afterwards Lena insisted on helping with the clean up. Eventually she agreed to sitting at bar counter to dry as Kara handed her washed dishes so that she wouldn't be standing. They chatted as Kara slowly worked away, knowing that afterward Lena would ask to go home.  
  
"So, what will you do today?" She asked, still worried that Lena would be on her own for the rest of Christmas Day and overnight.  
  
"Oh, I have a packed schedule, actually. First of all, we only scratched the surface of the Luthor holiday film binge. I have a lot of catching up to do." Lena said, trying to laugh lightheartedly but not quite pulling it off. Kara felt down at the thought of Lena watching her favorite films alone.  
  
"Wow, wish I could join for that." Kara said, laughing. "I really enjoyed the kick off session!"  
  
"Oh yes, I noticed you especially enjoyed the big finish!" Lena teased and winked at Kara.  
  
Kara looked at her with wide eyes, suddenly flashing on an image of Lena pulling her shirt up above her breasts right before Kara covered her stomach and breasts with her cum.  
  
"Oh god, Lena. You're killing me." Kara groaned, just as Alex walked in.  
  
"Need any help?" Alex asked innocently.  
  
"No! We were...we're about to finish." Kara stammered as Lena burst out laughing.  
  
"What did I miss?" Alex asked, looking at them suspiciously.  
  
"Nothing! Nothing, really." Kara insisted. "We're fine, we'll be out soon."  
  
Alex wandered off and Kara began to working to finish the dishes in earnest. After holding Lena that morning, on top of all the mental images and Lena's teasing Kara was dealing with strong impulses that she couldn't act on.  
  
Not much later Lena was sincerely thanking the Danvers for letting her join their Christmas Eve feast. It was clear she had thoroughly enjoyed the experience and they felt the same.  
  
"We'd love to have you come again." Eliza said. "Don't be a stranger."  
  
Lena hobbled out to the Subaru and Kara helped her inside, not daring to try to carry or lift her in anyway with the family watching.  
  
Once they got to the mansion Kara saw her up to her room and Lena settled onto her bed.  
  
"Is there anything I can get you?"  
  
"Yes, open that top drawer of my desk."  
  
Kara opened the drawer to find a smallish, brightly wrapped box.  
  
She looked up at Lena with wide eyes.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Kara."  
  
Kara brought the box over to the bed and sat down by Lena.  
  
"I actually have something for you, too, but I didn't bring it."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I know it's hard to buy for the woman who has everything." Lena said sardonically.  
  
"Well, I didn't buy it, but I do have something for you."  
  
Kara pulled off the paper to reveal a very sleek-looking phone.  
  
"Lena, I can't take this. It must have been so expensive..."  
  
"It comes with a year of service with unlimited data and calls, so you don't have to worry about costs."  
  
"It's not that, it's just..."  
  
"And you don't have to worry about Eliza and Jeremiah, I asked them about it yesterday and they said it was OK. So you don't have any excuses for not accepting it."  
  
Kara looked at her, clearly not convinced. "Kara, what good is having a bit money if you can't use it on people you care about?"  
  
Kara reverently began to lift open the box and peek inside.  
  
"I've already started setting it up. There's a lot more you can do, but it's ready to go for basic phone and Internet use." Lena took it from Kara and showed her the basics for using the phone, Internet, and camera. "You can find your phone number here so you can give it to people. Here are your contacts. Right now there's only one."  
  
Kara looked to see "Lena" on the screen.  
  
"I hope you don't think I'm easy. I'm very particular about who I give my number to." Lena teased.  
  
"What do you mean by 'easy'?" Kara looked confused.  
  
"Never mind. The truth is, when it comes to you I am easy." Lena smiled demurely. "Here, I'll show you how to add more. Go ahead and enter your home phone number here." Lena walked her through it and showed her how to label and save new contacts.  
  
"Thank you, Lena. I've never had a present like this. It's like a window to a whole new world."  
  
"Any real journalist has to have a phone. Not to mention, it'd be nice to be able to call you now and again."  
  
Kara grinned sheepishly, remembering some of their heated phone calls. "I can't wait." She said.  
  
"There's a lot more I can show you, we can work more on it later. But you should get going, your family is waiting to open presents."  
  
"It seems you're always teaching me new things." Kara said appreciatively.  
  
"And you're always a quick learner." Lena grinned.  
  
"Is there anything else I can get you before I go?"  
  
"Yes, please grab my laptop from my desk. Before I dive into my film fest I want to work more on my research project for school."  
  
"I thought your semester ended?"  
  
"It did. This is a side project I developed with one of the professors. Independent credit, I guess you would call it. Right now I'm just reviewing existing research and ordering some books on loan."  
  
"I shouldn't be surprised you managed to create work for yourself even between semesters. You aren't much for relaxing, are you?"  
  
"Well, I definitely have some great ways to relieve stress, if you're interested in hearing more about that." Lena, smirking.  
  
"God, Lena. You really are going to kill me."  
  
"No, Kara. You are the one that's killing me." She reached and grasped the collar of her shirt and pulled her in for a kiss. As Kara leaned over, Lena opened her mouth and took Kara's lips in like she'd been starving for them. Kara found herself tilting forward as Lena pulled, barely catching herself before falling on top of her. She managed to keep their mouths connected in hot, wet heat as she shifted and braced her arms on both sides of her body. Lena moved her hands to Kara's hips and was pulling her steadily down on top of her. Kara couldn't resist easing her body down as their lips and tongues continued to explore. In the same motion she hooked her hand under the knee of Lena's good leg, bending it slightly so that she could slot her hips between her legs. Her body had been craving to have Lena under her since she had dressed her for bed the night before. The way they moved together felt like their bodies were made for each other. Lena moaned as she felt Kara's hips moving against her. Kara could feel herself getting rapidly hard, as if her body was on a hair trigger just waiting for the chance to be near Lena. As she rocked forward her cock pressed against Lena's center. Even through their pants she could feel the heat of her body and could hear Lena's pulse racing.  
  
"Oh fuck, Kara, you're so hard." Lena moaned.  
  
Lena began to fumble blindly to find the top of Kara's jeans, finally sliding fingers inside her waist band to ease the button open and teasing her fingers inside her pants. Kara was breathing heavily, struggling with the impulse to start pulling Lena's clothes off and the knowledge that her family was waiting on her to open presents. Her body won out over her brain as she began to slide up the T-shirt she'd given Lena the night before. She reached the edge of Lena's bra and slid her fingers under to cup her smooth breast and feel her straining nipples as Lena continued working on Kara's zipper. They were in awkward position, with Kara holding herself up with one arm to keep most of her weight off of Lena, wanting to get Lena's shirt off but not able to do that while Lena's hands were down her pants. Kara didn't have the will to do anything to stop Lena's hands from their progress towards her cock. She gave up on the shirt and moved to something she wanted even more, sliding her hand into Lena's pants, under her panties and found her dripping wet.  
  
"Oh my god, Lena! You feel so good." Kara gasped as they both continued to struggle, seemingly afraid to back off and arrange themselves better for fear the other would come to their senses. All the while they continued kissing, getting rougher and more desperate. Kara gently circled Lena's clit and slid her fingers deeper into her slippery folds as Lena squirmed and moaned. Somehow Lena still managed to get Kara's zipper down and began to stroke her cock through her briefs. "Ummpf!" Kara grunted, having become non-verbal. The feeling of Lena's hand on her was incredible, even through the fabric. As she continued to slowly stroke Kara they were suddenly jarred out of their haze of lust by the blaring of Lena's phone. They both froze immediately.  
  
"Fuck!" Lena exclaimed. "That's Mother's ring tone. I better grab it or I'll never hear the end of the questioning. I don't want her sicking her house spies on me."  
  
Kara carefully removed her hand and moved back when she heard Lillian's name. Even though she knew Lillian couldn't see her through the phone she suddenly felt anxious about getting caught in Lena's room and climbed off the bed. Still, she couldn't resist sliding her fingers into her mouth and sucking off the taste of Lena, which only made her want more. Lena watched Kara's mouth carefully as she sucked. She answered the phone and greeted her mother. Kara could hear Lillian's shrill voice through the phone and, feeling self-conscious, she eased back into her pants and zipped up. She listened quietly as Lena talked in a highly annoyed voice to her mother. She was being questioned about what she had been doing since the family left and Lena was being very vague. The more Lillian pushed the more agitated Lena became.  
  
"Mother, if you were so concerned about how I spent my Christmas Eve then you shouldn't have left me alone in Midvale!" At that Lillian seemed to give up, promising they would be home before long and handing the phone over to Lionel. The discussion with him was more civil, but short and to the point. Clearly Lena partially blamed him for allowing the family to desert her over the holiday. Eventually they hung up after wishing each other Merry Christmas.  
  
"Ugh! Lena exclaimed angrily. "It's not even that I miss them or want to spend time with them. But somehow I do still care what they think and do. As bad as they are, they are all I have."  
  
"You have me, Lena. I would do anything for you." Kara said, taking her hand and kissing it. "And the truth is, I really can do about anything..." Kara swallowed her words. She realized she was so anxious to come out to Lena that she had almost started spilling her secret. But she had promised Alex to wait until after the holiday. She'd made it this far, she could wait a bit more.  
  
"Kara, you should really go. I appreciate what you're saying and it really does mean a lot. But it's time for you to go to be with your family and it's my turn to be the lonely princess in the castle."  
  
"Lena, the family is fine, they can wait a bit..."  
  
"Please, Kara. You need to get back. I don't want to keep you from them any longer." Lena insisted.  
  
"Is there any chance you would come for dinner tonight? I'm sure everyone would love for you to join." Kara was alarmed at the sudden turn in Lena's attitude and didn't want to leave her alone.  
  
"No, Kara. There's no way I'm going to invade your family holiday any more than I already have."  
  
Kara could tell by Lena's resolve that she wasn't going to get anywhere.  
  
"OK, can I at least call you tonight?"  
  
"Yes. I'd like that." Lena said, opening her laptop and logging in. "I'll talk to you later." She was dismissing Kara in a way she had never done before, clearly upset by the call with her family and not wanting to keep Kara her family any longer. Kara felt helpless to do anything but back slowly out of the room as Lena's gaze remained on her screen.  
  
Kara was in a daze as she climbed in the car and headed home. She stopped by the ranch on the way and found Cisco hard at work feeding the horses.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Cisco!" She called.  
  
"Merry Christmas! What are you doing here?" Cisco sounded very surprised, but happy to see her.  
  
"I thought you might be here. I wanted to see if I could help."  
  
"I won't be here for long, just checking in and getting everyone fed."  
  
"Well, it'll go faster with two sets of hands." Kara said and started to work.  
  
"Thanks, Kara." He said.  
  
"Anything for a mate." She said, happy for the chance to help Cisco.  
  
***  
  
Kara had wracked her brain about what to buy her family for Christmas, but in the end she decided to follow Kryptonian tradition. To honor friends and family on special occasions they had technology that could record snippets of memories so that they could be played in a sort of holographic form for others. By placing nodes on meridians of their skull and remembering a favorite memory they could record, edit, and share it. Obviously Kara didn't have that technology on Earth, so instead she wrote about favorite memories with each of the Danvers. Kara had written out each of the memories on nice paper and passed them out in envelopes while she explained the tradition on Krypton. Everyone took turns reading their memories out loud. For Eliza she wrote about how she would stay up with Kara at night after she first arrived. Her photo-period was completely messed up from the hypersleep and she couldn't sleep in a normal cycle. Eliza would stay up with her, sometimes working on her English, teaching her games, and on some nights when Kara was feeling especially despondent about the loss of her world, Eliza would just hold her while she cried. Eliza would sometimes nod off, not able to stay awake, but just her presence helped Kara get through some really difficult times in the beginning. For Jeremiah she wrote about when he made her glasses, how much it meant to her and what a difference it made in her world by helping her be able to filter out sounds and avoid sensory overload. For Alex she wrote her memory of the time when they first really talked, the day they splashed in the lake and Alex told her she wanted to be friends. In some ways she thought of her life on Earth as before and after having Alex as a friend. They were all tearing up by the end and Kara thanked them all for all they had done for her and told them how much they meant to her. They continued opening the rest of their presents, played some games and watched Eliza's favorite Christmas movie - 'Meet Me in St. Louis'. That evening they had another big feast. Kara loved her first Christmas with the Danvers. Eliza was right, it was really about letting the world go by and just spending time with friends and family. She worried that Lena was feeling lonely at home by herself. Around 10:00 she snuck up to her room to call Lena on her new phone.  
  
"Hi, Kara."  
  
"Hi!" Kara felt a bit relieved to hear her voice. "I can't believe I have a phone! Thank you, Lena."  
  
"You're welcome. How was your day?"  
  
"It was... well, really wonderful. We didn't do much, but it was really nice just being together." Kara said. "I missed you, though. How was your day?"  
  
"It was...uneventful." Lena said. "I actually got a lot done though."  
  
"Well, I should get back to the family, we're getting ready to play 'Exploding Kittens'." Kara laughed at the name. "I just wanted to let you know I'm coming over tonight. I just can't stand thinking of you alone all day and night."  
  
"No, Kara. I'm totally fine. It was silly of me to push you on that."  
  
"Lena, I'm not going to be able to sleep thinking about you over there all alone. I'll just wait until they're all asleep and sneak out."  
  
"I don't want you getting yourself in trouble for me. It's not worth it."  
  
"You are worth it, Lena. And I won't get in trouble. I'm very sneaky!" Kara insisted.  
  
"I just bet you are..." Lena teased.  
  
"Just be sure to leave the window unlocked and go ahead to sleep. It may be very late, who knows when everyone will get to sleep here."  
  
"Kara, it's not a good idea to sneak out."  
  
"I really don't care if it is or not. I don't even care if I get caught. I'll deal with the consequences; it would be worth it. We don't have that much time together before you have to go back to school. I want to spend as much of it with you as possible."  
  
Lena stayed quiet.  
  
"Just be sure to unlock the window. Or else I'm going to break the glass. And that might even get the attention of your security!"  
  
"Actually that just might do it." Lena laughed. She paused for several moments. "OK, Kara."  
  
"OK? Really?"  
  
"You know how much I enjoy giving you want you want." Lena said huskily. "If you're determined to come, well, then, I can't wait to see you."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Until tonight."  
  
"Until tonight."


	25. Make You Feel My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note to say THANK YOU for all the kudos and comments! This is my first Supercorp fic and second fic ever, so I never dreamed of getting 2,000 kudos. I'm getting this out a day earlier than planned to say thank you. Please keep leaving me your thoughts and questions - I love reading them!

The rest of the night was sweet torture for Kara. Though she enjoyed the time with her family, she could hardly wait to see Lena. At the same time, she was nervous about giving away any clues that she was planning to sneak out, so she resisted doing anything to try to wrap up the evening and get then to go to bed. That in itself would have been suspicious given that she was usually the last one standing on any game night. No human could beat her stamina.

It was well after 1:00 am before they all settled down. Kara had already resolved to tell Alex she was leaving. It wasn't fair to have Alex wake up and find her gone, possibly waking up the family and getting everyone worried about what happened to her. As soon as they laid down she told Alex about her plan. Of course, Alex protested and argued vehemently, but when Kara called her on all the times she spent the night with Vicki it was hard for her to argue. Kara was not threatening or even considering telling Eliza and Jeremiah, but Alex could see how hypocritical it was for her to hold Kara to a different standard than she had for herself.

"Kara, I want you to remember that I'm on record telling you this is a bad idea. I won't say anything though. Just try to be careful."

"Thanks, Alex. I know it's risky, but, honestly, I just can't stop myself from going over there. If I have to answer for it, I will. Lena needs me. She told me that, maybe not in those words, but I know it. And I'm not going to leave her hanging."

"OK, OK, but don't try to pretend this is all about what Lena wants. I suspect you have a pretty strong stake in it as well."

Kara couldn't deny that the decision wasn't all about Lena. She wanted to be near her on what felt like their only chance to spend a quiet night together.

"You're right, Alex. I honestly can't stay away from her for selfish reasons as well."

"OK, well, I just want to put in this Public Service Announcement. You know the stores have been closed, or have really short hours over the holiday. The point is, I haven't had a chance to go shopping, if you know what I mean."

"Alex, I'm not going over there to have 'penetrative sex', if that's what you're trying to say!"

"Hey! What did I tell you about that term?" Alex said with frustration. "But yes, that is what I'm trying to say. Just a reminder."

"Alex! That's not why I'm doing this. Even if I can just hold her...I just don't want her to be alone. If you could have heard her talking to her mother today...they just, I just can't believe they've left her alone for Christmas."

"Tell yourself whatever you want. But just promise me..."

"Yes, Alex! You don't have to say it. I already decided I wasn't going to do that without talking to her. And there can't be more of a mood killer than that!"

"Kara." Alex sounded sympathetic but also determined. "I know it seems like everything right now. But it's not. Lena is your first love and it's especially intense. But if she can't accept you the way you are..."

"Or just can't accept that I haven't told her the truth..."

"That, too." Alex paused, clearly wanting to help but not sure she could. "Just remember, you were protecting yourself and your family."

"She won't see it that way."

"You don't know that, Kara. Lena's smart and very mature for her age." Alex looked thoughtful for a minute. "She just might understand."

Kara didn't respond, she heard Alex but was also listening carefully to the other rooms of the house for her chance to get out of there.

"They're both asleep. I'm going to go now." Kara squeezed Alex's hand on her way out. "Thanks for understanding."

"Good luck, Kara. I'll call you if anything happens here."

"You mean like one of them waking up and finding me gone?"

"Exactly." Alex said. "And I can give you a heads up when they start to move around if you aren't back. They'll probably sleep in, but you should try to be back in bed by 8 at the latest." 

"Thanks, Alex. You're the best friend anyone could ask for. Especially a dorky, 37-year-old/teenage alien!"

"Don't talk about yourself that way, Kara. You have an amazing heart. I can tell you're going to do great things."

"Maybe we'll do great things together, Alex." Kara backed out of the door. "I love you."

"I love you, too, you pussy-whipped idiot!"

"Pussy-whipped? What in the world is that?!!"

"Just get out of here, before I sound the alarm!" Alex threw a pillow that slapped against the door as Kara quickly closed it behind her.

***

Kara ran to the mansion, not wanting to risk anything by flying. She climbed carefully up the tree and was relieved to find the window unlocked. Despite her bravado there was no way she would go in if Lena had left the window locked.

She found Lena fast asleep so she tip-toed to the opposite side of the bed and slid under the covers as quietly as she could. She told herself she should just stay on the other side of the bed or she might wake Lena, but she couldn't resist carefully spooning her from behind, wrapping her close while trying not to jostle her. However, she wasn't totally successful and Lena started to move. 

"You're here." Lena mumbled, still half asleep. Kara thought how adorable she looked when she was sleepy.

"I'm here. Sorry it's so late. We were having so much fun with the games, the Danvers didn't want to stop. Alex thinks they'll sleep in though."

"She knows?"

"Yes, I didn't want her to wake up and find me gone."

"Oh, I bet she thought this was a great idea. Not."

"No. But she won't say anything." Kara snuggled in closer, nosing against Lena's neck. "Mmm, you feel so good."

Lena wiggled her hips back into Kara, removing the space between them. "You too. Thanks for coming."

"I have to be honest. I couldn't have stayed away if I tried. I'm not that strong, imagining you in this bed, alone."

"Well, actually you are quite strong." Lena laughed, caressing her hand along Kara's bicep.

Kara kissed the side of her neck. "Maybe. But I'm weak when it comes to you." She intertwined her fingers with Lena's other hand and squeezed.

"I have noticed you like it when I tell you want to do." Lena chuckled.

"It's true, I like pleasing you." Kara said, earnestly.

"Mhmm." Lena said and rolled over so she could face Kara, "I like the sound of that."

"I can't believe I'm really here, and I can just be here without being ready to jump out the window at any moment. It's quite a feeling." Kara searched Lena's eyes in the dim light of the moon.

"Yes, it is a bit unreal." Lena said pulling Kara's hand to her lips and giving her a soft kiss.

"Lena, there's something I want to talk to you about..."

"Kara, I know." Lena said, stopping her. "We've talked about this before. You're experiencing a lot of things for the first time. It's confusing and it heightens your feelings. You think you're feeling more for me than you really are."

"Lena, I don't think I'm feeling more for you than I really am. I'm confused about a lot of things, and yes, this is all very new. But I'm not confused about how I feel about you. I understand you don't really want to hear about that. Message received." Kara said, sadly. "But that actually isn't really what I wanted to talk about..."

"Kara, please, can we not talk for a little while? It's just, well it's been an awful day. I'm so glad you're here now and I just want to enjoy being together, without any worries. Just for a bit. The time will be gone before we know it."

Kara realized she wasn't just talking about that night, but about their time before she left for school. There was so much she wanted to tell Lena, and so much she wanted to ask. Most importantly, what would happen to them after she went back to school? But of course, she wanted to give Lena what she wanted, but the longer she waited the worse it would be. "OK, Lena. It's just..."

Lena put her fingers gently over Kara's lips, shushing her. "Just...kiss me." She whispered.

Kara moved closer and kissed Lena lightly and then leaned back and smiled. She wanted to just sit back and look at her for a minute.

"You're wearing a camisole!" Kara noticed, inhaling sharply.

"Yes, well, you seemed to appreciate it the last time you saw me in it."

"Ha! Oh yes, I very much appreciate it." Kara said, smiling. Lena was half covered by a comforter, which Kara slowly eased off of her. "I want to see all of it."

Lena squirmed a bit as Kara removed her covers. Kara's eyes were wide as they roamed Lena's body. "You're so beautiful, Lena. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

"Oh Kara, you do say the sweetest things." Lena laughed. Kara began to slide her fingers lightly up and down Lena's arms and then across her shoulder and along her clavicle, then up to her neck. Lena's body shivered at the touch, and her skin got goose pimples.

"Are you cold?" Kara asked, pulling the comforter back around her.

"No, Kara, you're just getting me excited."

Kara smiled at the thought and continued her caresses. "Your skin, I just can't get enough of touching it." Kara wanted to touch her all over, but she also wanted to go slowly since this was her first chance to see and touch Lena without a frantic rush and fear of being caught. So she continued her slow progress across Lena's chest, resisting the urge to slide her fingers under the thin garment to feel the silky skin of her breasts and tightly pointed nipples she could already see through the material. She continued down her sides and arms until she reached Lena's hips and then moved down the side of her leg as Lena squirmed a bit. The expression on Kara's face was one of awe. Lena began stroking the side of Kara's face, down to her chin and across her lips. Kara gently kissed her fingers as they lingered around her mouth and Lena slid two fingers inside. Kara responded enthusiastically to the intrusion, licking and sucking Lena's fingers as she continued to caress the sides of her hips. Lena eased her fingers in and out, starting to move her hips along with the movements of her fingers as if they were connected. Then suddenly she slid them out and replaced them by pressing her lips against Kara's, like she could wait another moment before putting her mouth on her. She then licked gently against her lips until Kara's mouth eased open and she moved her tongue deep inside.

Kara was quite distracted by the feeling of Lena's tongue inside her mouth, but as her fingers continued to explore she realized through the haze the she had found the edge of Lena's panties. She couldn't resist sliding her fingers under slightly to feel Lena's ass. She rubbed gently as Lena began to respond by moving her hips slightly forward and back. Kara's fingers continued their progress around the smooth curve she gently edged her fingers to graze the wetness between Lena's legs as Lena let out a pleased gasp. Still, Kara held herself back, and managed to not to dive deeper, determined to move slowly and relish every inch of Lena for as long as she could hold out. She could no longer resist Lena's breasts though, and she leaned down to put her mouth around Lena's nipple, closing it in her teeth through the camisole and causing Lena to make a guttural sound from low in her chest.

Kara stopped suddenly at the sound. "Lena, are you OK? Did I hurt your ankle?"

"Kara, I'm fine. That just, that felt really good. I can't even feel my ankle right now."

"You can't? Lena, how can I help?"

"It's fine, I just mean you're distracting me from my ankle. Just...forget about my ankle. The pressure is just what the doctor ordered." At that Lena reached behind Kara's head to move her back down. She tangled her fingers into the thick blonde hair and gripped hard. Kara resisted for a bit, then looking at Lena's eyes she was convinced she should keep going. She continued lavishing her breasts with her tongue and teeth, and Lena squeezed tighter in her hair, a grip that might have been painful for a human. She relished the feeling of Lena starting to lose control under her tongue and fingers. She slid the edge of Lena's camisole up and started to ease her open mouth slowly down Lena's stomach as she started to squirm and moan. Kara eased the tips of her fingers along the skin of Lena's rib cage. She had the urge to squeeze and hold her closer, and she had to remind herself to be gentle and not use too much strength when she got so excited. Kara was quickly getting worked up and was worried about getting too excited too quickly. She stopped and sat back just to calm herself.

"Are you OK, Kara?" Lena asked, her breathing coming fast.

"Yes, I...I just want to go slow. We're always so rushed. And I want you so much, I just need to take a minute."

"Remember what I said, even if we just sleep, let's just enjoy a night being together." Lena reached her hand to cup Kara's chin and pull her in for a gentle kiss.

"Come here, lay next to me." Kara eased down beside Lena and laid her head down on her chest. Lena ran her fingers along Kara's back, gently dragging her nails over her back and shoulders to calm her.

"Lena, I..." Kara's breathing started getting faster, she was feeling overwhelmed and had to say something. At that moment she realized she wanted Lena to know how she felt, even if she didn't want to hear it. She may never have the chance after she tells Lena that she's an alien.

"Lena, I love you." She blurted out. At that Lena froze her movements along Kara's back. "I'm sorry! I know you don't want to hear that..."

Lena got quiet and Kara didn't move, keeping her arm across Lena's stomach. She couldn't bear to look her in the eye, couldn't bear to see rejection. But she couldn't help telling Lena how she felt. She realized that if Lena was going to leave her for not being honest about who she was, at least she would know how Kara felt about her.

Lena took a deep breath and moved her fingers to stroke Kara's hair, like she was calming a child.

"I know you think you love me, Kara. You've almost said it before. What you're feeling for me is very tangled up in what your body is experiencing for the first time."

"It's OK that you don't feel the same way. And I know you think this is all about sex. I think you're just afraid to believe I love you. The way your family has been treating you, well, I don't blame you. And yes, I'm extremely attracted to you. I can't help that I want you. But I know the difference between how I feel about you and what my body wants. I may be naive, but I know I love you, Lena. And you'll never convince me I don't."

Lena stayed quiet so Kara kept going. "Lena, why is it so hard to believe? You're a fantastic person. You're so brilliant and caring. And you're so much fun, I love spending time with you. I really don't know how you do it, you're family can be so cruel, but you stay so strong. You could have or do anything you want, and your dream is to save the world, to use your brilliance and resources to make a real difference in people's lives!"

Kara stopped, knowing she was starting to ramble. "It's OK that you don't believe me. It doesn't change how I feel. I love you." Kara still had her head against Lena's chest. Even though she was speaking bravely, she was still not able to look at Lena. She was feeling sad that Lena found it so hard to believe. Suddenly Kara felt Lena's chest jerk slightly, and heard a muffled sob. She sat up quickly to look at Lena's face there were tears on her cheeks, which she was quickly wiping away when she saw that Kara was looking at her.

"Lena, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Kara cupped her cheek gently. "We don't need to talk about this anymore. I know you just want us to enjoy our night together, and I'm making you sad."

Lena finally spoke. "You aren't making me sad. Well, maybe a little. You're right, maybe it is hard for me to believe you love me. Now that Lex is so distant, it's hard to believe anyone really loves me. It's very hard for me to trust in love at all. It seems like it can change at any moment. The truth is, I'm not the expert I pretend to be. Honestly, I don't think I have much experience with real love. You're more the expert there, having a family that loves and cares about you."

"Lena, let me tell you what it means to me. Then you can decide if you think it's love or not and I promise I won't argue. For me it means that I would rather take any pain, any discomfort, any embarrassment or difficulty. I'd rather experience that myself than to let it happen to you. It means I want to take care of you, to protect you, to make you more comfortable and do things for you whenever I can. It means I'd rather spend time with you than anyone else. And yes, I'd rather touch, I'd rather kiss you than anyone else in this world." Kara was now looking straight into her eyes. "If you want to lump all that into my body's deep desire to be with you, and say it's all about sex...well, fine, I can live with that and I'll stop trying to convince you otherwise. But you'll never convince me that I'm not in love with you." Kara sighed with resignation, then added with a whisper almost to herself more than Lena. "I'll always love you."

Lena's mouth dropped open slightly. She had an amazed look on her face and seemed speechless. Rather than say something, she reached out for Kara's face and pulled her in for a kiss. Their mouths collided in need, both open and searching, tongues meeting and delving deep. Finally Lena eased back to look Kara in the eye, still cupping her chin.

"Please, Kara. Can we stop talking? Just...please. Make love to me."

Kara looked conflicted, knowing there was so much more she needed to tell Lena. She so wanted to get it all out there. But she also dreaded ruining their night together.

"Please, baby." Lena said as she caressed her face.

"Yes. Of course, Lena." Kara smiled softly and leaned in to kiss her. She never had much luck saying no to Lena.


	26. Baby, Let Me Follow You Down

"You know that's completely unfair, don't you?" Kara asked as she leaned in to kiss her.

"What did I do?" Lena said, feigning innocence.

"You called me 'baby'." Kara said. "You know what that does to me."

Lena just smirked and slid her hand behind Kara's neck. Kara eased into the kiss, which gradually grew deeper until they were both breathless.

"Jesus, Lena. Your mouth..."

"Well, we've only scratched the surface of what I can do with my mouth..."

Kara could feel herself stiffen further in her sleep pants at Lena's words, and Lena was looking at her like she wanted to have her for dinner. Kara had given up on her mission to tell Lena she was an alien, and was fully embracing her new mission of making Lena feel good. As she shifted Lena tangled her fingers tightly into her hair, pulling her closer and trying to shift Kara's body on top of her. Kara followed willingly, and eventually moving her leg across Lena's body to straddle her. Lena groaned deeply and shifted her hips up in an attempt to reach Kara, who was still holding herself away, keeping her weight from Lena.

"Lena, what about your ankle? I don't want to put any pressure on it."

"Forget about my ankle. The doctor said I need to be putting weight on it." Lena said, sounding exasperated. "Kara, I don't know how else to say this, but, to hell with my ankle! I need to feel your body against mine."

"OK, just promise you'll tell me if anything hurts." Kara looked at Lena firmly and didn't move an inch.

"I promise." Lena said in a pleading way, like she couldn't bear to wait longer and would say anything to make Kara continue.

At that Kara couldn't hold out. She eased her body down so that her hips were tight against Lena's and began kissing and licking down her neck. Lena's breathing continued to speed up as Kara slid her tongue down from her neck and throat, down lower until she reached the top edge of the lacy camisole. She continued to nip and kiss, moving along the top of the camisole then dragging her teeth over Lena's nipples through the thin material. Eventually she became frustrated at the barrier between her mouth and Lena's skin, and pulled back.

"Lena, can I take this off?" She whispered reverently, fingering the bottom hem of her camisole.

It seemed Lena didn't want to waste any energy on words. She stretched her arms languidly over her head and Kara moved quickly to pull the top off. Kara froze briefly, taking the opportunity to gaze at the expanse of Lena's skin that was suddenly revealed, with only a small triangle of silky panties still covering her.

"Lena, do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?"

"Well, I have been told a few times." Lena smirked, then looked more serious. "But the truth is, no one has made me feel as beautiful and appreciated as you." Lena looked Kara directly in the eyes. "Thank you for that."

Kara closed her eyes and kissed her fingers where they grazed her chin. She whispered quietly into Lena's fingers, not even intending for her to hear, "No one can love you the way I can."

"God, Kara..." Lena moaned. "Come here. Please don't make me wait any longer."

There was nothing Kara could say to that. She dove back in, kissing and sucking at Lena's throat and moving steadily towards her breasts. When Kara took Lena's stiff nipple into her mouth they both gasped out in relief of the feeling. Kara continued to lavish attention across Lena's breasts then eased her teeth around Lena's nipple and roughly clamped down with her teeth. At that Lena's voice let out a higher pitched whine.

"Oh, Kara, oh fuck, yes!" Kara continued biting lightly on one breast as she moved her hand to squeeze her other breast harshly. She caught herself, realizing she needed to be especially careful of her strength as her body was increasingly pushed over the edge of her control. Kara backed off Lena's breasts, but slid her tongue steadily lower, easing it over Lena's stomach as she writhed and made nonsensical sounds underneath Kara's tongue. She moved her fingers and tongue steadily down until her thumbs reached the top of Lena's panties. She eased her thumbs under the edge of her panties and froze, wanting permission before she went further. She paused and moved back to see Lena's face. Before she could ask, Lena was answering her.

"Yes, Kara, yes! For god's sake, please take them off."

Kara had no hesitation after that. She hooked her thumbs under Lena's panties and slid them steadily down her legs, easing them over her bad ankle and resisting the urge to check in with Lena about her injury. Her tone was so desperate, she thought Lena might hit her if she did anything to slow things down again.

She watched with fascination at Lena completely bare beneath her. She only hesitated a few moments though, before she moved back down to continue her path down Lena's stomach. But before she reached her stomach again Lena's hand hit her shoulder and stopped her.

"Wait." Lena said. with authority. "I want to feel you, too." She grabbed at the hem of Kara's T-shirt and giggled.

"What's so funny?" Kara asked.

"I love that you're wearing your Superman T-shirt." Lena said.

"Yes, well. Last night you said you wanted to see me in it..."

"Yes. Indeed I did." Lena moved her fingers over the crest. "I imagined you in this when we were on the phone. I came so hard thinking about you jerking off in that shirt." She eased her fingers down the front of Kara's chest, dragging them over the insignia. Kara gasped as Lena cupped her breast through the shirt.

"You're adorable in this." Lena grazed Kara's nipple through the shirt. "But I want to feel your skin." She slipped her fingers under the edge of the shirt and pulled it up. Kara immediately raised her arms for Lena to get it off. Kara smiled as she watched Lena's eyes go wide as she moved her arms back down. Lena seemed mesmerized by the sight of her naked chest. Kara hadn't bothered to put her bra on, since she had gotten ready for bed before she ran over to the mansion after Eliza and Jeremiah fell asleep.

"God, Kara. Seriously, how can your body be so perfect?" Lena dug her nails in and slid them down Kara's abdominals. "It really does seem like they cooked you up in a lab." Now it was Kara's turn to squirm, both at the feeling of Lena's nails and her teasing about her not being created under normal human circumstances.

"I just want to make you feel good, Lena. Tell me what you want me to do." Kara shifted as she said it, her bodies desire driving her to seek more contact. Without intending to she started grinding down onto Lena, feeling her hard cock rub roughly against her.

They both moaned deeply at the feeling of the contact. Lena arched her back to get more contact with Kara's hard cock, moving steadily against her.

"Lena, don't. I'm so worked up. I don't want to come too quickly. I just want...I just want to make you feel good."

"You are making me feel good, Kara. I just want you to, I just want you to take what you want. Don't hold back. I want to feel all of you."

Kara knew she wasn't really free to take what she wanted. Her cock was pounding, demanding that Kara push inside Lena's warm and waiting pussy that was so close. The Lena was moving against her, the things she was saying, she knew Lena wanted it too. But she had promised Alex that she wouldn't go that far without protection. And she'd told herself she wouldn't go that far until Lena knew who she was and where she came from. Instead, she resumed the steady work with her tongue, gliding steadily down Lena's exposed stomach. Kara moved her pelvis back, loosing contact with Lena, both appeared frustrated by the distance. Still, Kara dove back in with her mouth and Lena started to writhe and moan as Kara moved lower with her tongue, sending clear signals that she was doing something right. Kara was determined not to stop until Lena was calling her name, pleading for more, and riding the waves of her orgasm.

Kara eased her tongue gently between Lena's folds as they both groaned deeply. Lena began canting her hips steadily as Kara gave long, deep licks with the tip of her tongue, then began circling tightly against her clit. She became rougher with her tongue as as she could feel Lena's body wanting more. hitting Lena's clit over and over, it wasn't long before Lena let go. She called out Kara's name loudly as she rolled into an orgasm, moving her hips rapidly against Kara's mouth. As she came down she touched Kara's head to ease her back so she could see her eyes. Then she slid her fingers under Kara's chin to pull her close for a kiss. Kara shifted higher to reach her.

They kissed deeply, Lena pulling her tightly to her and sliding her tongue into Kara's mouth. Lena laughed a bit, "You taste like me.

"I love the way you taste, Lena. I can't get enough..." Kara moved as though she wanted go down again, but Lena held her chin.

"Wait, Kara." Lena looked at her seriously. "I...I really want to...I want to feel you, inside me." Kara looked at her with wide eyes but didn't move. Lena moved her other hand steadily down Kara's abs, over her sleep pants to cup the large bulge with her palm, showing Kara what she meant. As she did, Kara gave at a guttural moan and jerked her hips against Lena's hand in an automatic response. Lena began to move her hand to squeeze and stroke Kara through her pants.

"I mean I want you to fuck me..." Lena squeezed harder. "with your cock. Please Kara, I want to feel it inside me. You're so big...and hard...I just." Lena was breathing hard and now moving both her hands to slide under the elastic of Kara's pants. But she hesitated, seeming to recognize panic in Kara's eyes.

"Kara, are you OK? Is it OK if I...you're so tight in these pants, let me help you." But she waited for Kara to say something. After a few moments she eased back. "Are you...Kara, it's OK if you're not ready for that."

Finally Kara spoke up. "It's not that, I...really want to. I can't imagine how good it would feel to be deep inside you. I want you so much, Lena." At that Lena began stroking up and down her cock again. 

"Ummpf!" Kara grunted at the feeling of Lena's hand. "Lena wait..." Kara said, but didn't move away. Lena stopped stroking but kept her hand tightly cupped around Kara's cock, waiting for her to say more.

"It's just, I don't,... I don't have a condom!" Kara decided to go with the simpler explanation. Lena looked relieved, like things were starting to make sense.

"I'm sorry, I planned to get some. Alex was going to help me...I just didn't have a chance..." Kara was completely embarrassed. Embarrassed that she didn't have condoms, embarrassed that she needed her sister's help. She started to move off Lena. "I'm sorry, I'm such a newbie, I wasn't sure how to get them." She sat back on the bed, with her pants tented over her bulge and her hand over eyes to cover her humiliation.

"Kara, relax." Lena said, sitting herself up against the headboard. She reached to pull Kara's hand away from her eyes and held her hand. "You don't need to be embarrassed with me. And it's OK to be a newbie. Listen, I'm older and I happen to have more experience. It's not a big deal." Lena stoked the side of Kara's face.

Kara continued to look down at the bed, not daring to look Lena in the eyes. Lena eased her fingers under Kara's chin and lifted it so that she was looking her in the face.

"You really have no idea how amazing you are, do you?"

"Me? No. I... don't feel very amazing at all. I feel like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot, Kara. You're a beautiful, strong, caring person. Honestly, I've never had a friend or even family who cared so much about me. You're so genuine, and sexy. You're the whole package, Kara. No pun intended."

Kara looked confused. "What pun?"

Lena laughed. "Well, your package, I mean..." Lena looked down at the bulge in Kara's pants. "your package."

Kara still looked confused, but Lena laughed and seemed relieved for a break in the tension. "Never mind."

Lena took her hand and pulled Kara towards her. "Come here. Just relax. Lay down next to me." 

Kara moved carefully. Her embarrassment had eased the pounding in her cock and she felt more in control. 

"I'm sorry I can't give you want you want. I so want to make you feel good, Lena."

"You do make me feel good, Kara. Did you already forget that screaming orgasm you gave me a few minutes ago?"

Kara laughed and some of the light was back in her eyes.

"You have a beautiful smile, Kara." Lena said, looking at her with affection. "Let's try to get some sleep, OK?"

"OK." Kara said, grinning at Lena's compliment. "Can I...can I hold you?"

"Of course." Lena took Kara's hand and rolled over so that Kara was spooning her from behind. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena but kept her hips from making contact. Even though she was calming down, and didn't want to do anything to get worked up again. 

"You feel so good, Lena. I wish I could hold you like this every night." She kissed her softly on her shoulder. 

"Me too." Lena mumbled, already on her way to sleep. Kara didn't think she'd be able to, but it was well after 3 in the morning, and with the long day full of excitement and tension, she eventually drifted off.

A while later Kara jolted awake out of an intense dream about Lena. For a moment she had no idea where she was, but soon the smell and feel of Lena so close brought it all back to her. She immediately became aware of her hard-on pressing against Lena's ass and was mortified. She carefully started to slide her arm out from under her so that she could ease back, but the movement roused Lena and she moved her body with a deep moan. Seemingly in her sleep she shifted her ass back to rub against Kara's erection.

"Oh fuck!" Kara managed to say it quietly, but her reaction was uncontrollable. She tried to move herself away, but she only managed to shift closer and grind against Lena. Lena roused more but still her eyes stayed closed. Kara knew she only had one more chance to pull herself together and slip away before Lena awoke. She slid her arm out from under Lena's neck slowly, but the movement roused her more. Seemingly half asleep, she was responding to feeling Kara against her and as she tried to scoot back, Lena moved her hand behind Kara's ass and pulled her forward. She moved again against Kara's erection and Kara felt helpless to move away. "Mmm, Kara." Lena said, sleepily. "God, you feel good."

"Lena, sorry for waking you up! I was having this crazy dream.,,"

"Hmmm, tell me about your dream. Was I in it?" Lena said, still not turning around but holding Kara tight against her and not letting her get away. As Lena shifted back against her, Kara felt her cock slide slightly between Lena's ass cheeks."

"Ummpf! Oh Jesus, Lena." Kara groaned.

"Tell me, Kara."

"Yes! Yes, it was a dream about you." Kara managed to get out while trying to resist her urge to grind against Lena's naked ass. Even through her pants, the feeling of her cock partly between Lena's ass cheeks was driving her to distraction.

"Tell me more. Where were we?" Lena demanded as she gently shifted against Kara, pushing her cock deeper between her cheeks.

"I...we...we were um, in the ranch office..." Kara trailed off again.

"Ha. Well, I guess you have a nice memory from our call in that office!" Lena chuckled. "Tell me more. What was I doing?"

"Yes, I...well. You were sitting on the desk..."

"And where were you?"

"I was...standing between your legs..." Kara groaned again, knowing she should pull back, but powerless to do so.

"I like the sound of that...then what happened?"

"Well, you were unbuttoning my jeans...and, um, sliding your hand against my cock, taking it out of my briefs."

"Oh, fuck. Keep going."

"Um, well, you asked something about a condom, and I had one. I remember I felt so relieved that I had one..."

"Ha, you poor baby. You wanted to have a condom so much you dreamed about it." Lena kept moving against her. "Is that it, Kara? Is that what you want?"

Kara was quiet. Lena stopped moving and Kara could sense she was feeling vulnerable.

"Yes, Lena. Yes!" Kara stroked Lena's hair from behind her. "I really do want to have penetrative sex with you."

"Ha!" Lena laughed out loud. "Kara, sometimes you say the most random things."

"Sorry, I'm a dork."

"No, you're adorable." Lena said. "But, maybe next time just tell me you want to fuck me."

"I'm sorry I can't give you what you want."

"Kara, I told you, I just wanted to have a night together. I'm getting what I want."

"That's what I want too, Lena. I just want to be with you."

"Tell me more about your dream. You said you had a condom. Did I put it on you?"

"I think so, I don't remember everything, but I remember..." Kara trailed off again, losing her train of thought as Lena started a steady cant of her hips against her.

"Please tell me you fucked me on that desk." Lena moaned.

"I...I remember feeling so hard, and you had your legs wrapped around around me and we were moving...I slid my hand up your thighs to your panties. I could feel you were so wet, so I eased them to the side. I remember you making this beautiful sound, like a moan when I touched you. But then I... well, I woke up and realized I was pressing against you. I...I'm sorry, I tried not to wake you."

"Kara, shut up. I don't care about that. I can't think about anything but your cock on me right now. God, you're so hard." Again Kara told herself to move back but didn't as Lena continued to shift and hold onto to her.

"You know, there are other things we can do to help with this situation that don't require a condom." At that Lena moved away and rolled over to face her. "You aren't the only one with a talented mouth." She smirked. Kara's eyes went wide.

"You poor thing, You've been worked up for hours, it must be getting painful. Lena eased her hands over Kara's abs, down to her cock and began stroking through the fabric. She slid her thumbs under the waist band of her pants. "Can I Kara? Please?" Lena said, biting her bottom lip.

Like a puppet on a string Kara jerked her head up and down, unable to resist. As Lena eased her pants and briefs down her cock stood up, angry red and full.

Lena looked hungrily at her. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. You have a beautiful cock." Lena said, licking her lips.

"Kara, I want to put my mouth on you. Is that OK?"

Again Kara's head jerked rapidly up and down.

"I want to hear you say it, tell me you want it."

"Yes, god yes, Lena! Please, put your mouth on me!" Now that she had the thought in her mind she was desperate for it.

Lena grinned widely and leaned forward. Kara's mouth dropped open as she watched Lena, her mouth opening and her tongue moving to Kara's cock. As Lena slowly licked the tip Kara called out, loudly. "Oh, Lena!"

Lena pulled back with a grin. "Easy, tiger. Remember there are still some staff somewhere in this cavern."

"Sorry! Please, do that again." She said quietly.

Lena smiled and leaned down again. This time she started low on Kara's cock, licking up the side along a thick, sensitive vein and over the tip. Kara let out a muffled, primitive sound. Lena's tongue was so soft and warm against her cock, the feeling was overwhelming. When Lena slipped the whole tip of her cock into her wet mouth Kara's body jerked involuntarily, thrusting deeper into her mouth before she caught herself and pulled back.

"Lena, I didn't mean to..."

Lena sat back again. "Kara, please shut up. I want to suck your cock. And I want you to feel you cum in my mouth. No more apologies. Just...relax. You can hold my hair if you want."

Kara's mouth dropped open in amazement again. She realized she did want to hold Lena's head, did want to push her back down on her cock. She wanted so badly to feel her mouth on her again. But she was afraid of her strength and that she might lose control and hurt her.

"No, I don't want to do that." Kara fisted her hands in the sheets as her cock strained for more attention. "Just, please, keep going."

"Well, since you asked so nicely." Lena said with an evil grin. "How can I say no?" She moved her mouth back around the tip of Kara's cock as Kara gave out another muffled grown, almost more of a growl.

"Mmm." Lena hummed at Kara's reaction, sending vibrations through Kara's cock. She started to move slowly up and down, steadily taking more of her length. Kara gripped the sheets tighter and held herself back from thrusting as she watched Lena's head bobbing up and down. The feeling of her mouth hot and wet, squeezing and moving up and down her cock was the most amazing feeling she had ever experienced.

"Oh my god, Lena! You...that's...oh fuck, please don't stop..." Kara had lost the ability to make sentences, but she so wanted to tell Lena how good it felt. Lena was steadily taking in more of her cock, then suddenly Kara's sensitive tip hit the back of her throat and Lena gagged slightly.

"Ummpff! Lena, I'm sorry, did that hurt?" As she tried to ease back Lena moved one hand behind her to keep Kara from moving away. She wrapped her hand around the base of Kara's cock gently slid it out of her mouth.

"Kara, I'm fine. If something happens that I don't like, believe me, I'm going to let you know."

Kara watched in amazement again as Lena's mouth dropped open and she slipped the her cock back inside. Lena's tongue lathed the tip, circling gently and basically paralyzing Kara from moving away. She began taking Kara in deeper into her mouth again as Kara moaned.

"Yes, yes, Lena, god yes." Kara gasped as Lena continued moving lower until Kara was hitting the back of her throat each time. "Oh god, Lena, I'm going to cum, I, if you don't stop I'm going to cum in your mouth!"

Lena held Kara tighter and started moving up and down faster on her cock. She began stroking the base of Kara's cock where she wasn't reaching with her mouth. Kara could feel her cock pounding harder, and couldn't hold back from slightly gyrating her hips. She knew Lena said she wanted her to cum in her mouth, but she wanted to make sure. Now there was nothing she could do to stop herself, she could feel herself surging as she started to release in Lena's mouth.

"Oh, fuck, yes!" Kara called out as she came. Lena continued sucking tightly around her cock. Her mouth filled with Kara's cum and she started to swallow. The increased suction from her swallowing made Kara spurt more. Lena continued to suck and bob on Kara's cock until she was empty. Kara could no longer resist touching Lena, she reached to tangle her fingers in her hair as Lena began to slow down. As Lena eased her cock out, some of Kara's cum dripped from the side of her mouth. Kara wiped it away gently, but Lena grabbed her hand and licked the cum off her fingers.

"You taste good, Kara." She said as she sucked her fingers.

"Lena, I, that was..." Kara stammered."That was amazing. You're amazing." She stroked the side of Lena's face. "Come closer"

Lena climbed up and eased beside Kara as she came down from her orgasm. Kara put her arm under Lena's neck and pulled her close. She kissed the top of her head. "I've never felt anything like that before. That was incredible. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Kara. That was fucking hot. I love making you cum."

"Wow."

"Think about how you feel making me cum."

"I do love making you cum. It's an amazing feeling." Kara said, stroking Lena's hair. "I...I want to make you cum again."

"Who's stopping you?" Lena laughed.

Kara looked down at Lena and kissed her gently. Lena eased her mouth open and Kara slipped her tongue inside. She was surprised to realize she could taste herself in Lena's mouth, but she kept going, kissing Lena more deeply and shifting her body so she could move over her. She realized her pants were stretched down around her cock so she tucked herself in, then continued kissing Lena. It wasn't yet starting to get light, and Kara reminded herself that it was OK to take her time. She began kissing along the side of Lena's face, licking the edge of her ear then moving down her neck. She slid the tip of her tongue down lower along Lena's neck down to the edge of her clavicle. She stopped herself and leaned back to gaze at her.

"Lena, your body is so beautiful. It takes my breath away."

"Kara, you act like you've never seen my breasts before." Lena chuckled.

"It's just, I've never felt like I could take my time. I just want to take it all in. So I can remember." Kara said, sadly.

"Kara..." Lena moved her hand to the side of Kara's face and caressed her. "Let's not think about...the future, tonight. Let's enjoy what's left of our time."

"Right, of course." Kara went back to kissing down Lena's sternum and between her breasts, finally cupping her breast and sliding her tongue down to her nipple. Lena's nipple was tight against her tongue and she moved to take it into her mouth and sucked. Lena squirmed and moaned as Kara sucked harder.

"Mmm, that feels so good, Kara."

Kara switched to her other breast to nip and suck. She lathed her tongue slowly around the cup of Lena's breast and then went back to sucking. Eventually she started to move down Lena's stomach with her tongue, paying especially close attention to her navel.

"I love your belly button!" Kara said, smiling.

"Ha!" Lena laughed. "Sometimes you say the funniest things." Lena reached her hand behind Kara's head and gently moved her back down to her body. "Keep going."

Kara grinned and dove back down with relish, moving her tongue lower still until her chin was tickled by Lena's hair. She couldn't help but giggle.

"What is it?" Lena said, looking down at her.

"Sorry, I'm just...ticklish." Kara shifted lower between Lena's legs and kissed both her knees.

Kara paused again. "Even your knees are beautiful." Then she continued, licking steadily up from her knees, inside her thighs towards her center. She eased her hand behind her knee to bend it, being careful to leave the leg with her injured ankle flat so she wouldn't have pressure on it. As she reached her lips she found Lena was dripping wet.

"Mmmm, god Lena. I love how you taste. You're so wet."

"I told you. Sucking your cock got me worked up." Lena pushed Kara's head down again.

Kara moaned at that thought and then slid her tongue gently between Lena's folds, enjoying the warm, wet feeling and the sounds Lena made in response. She continued licking deeply into her folds and around her clit as Lena writhed.

"Kara, I want to feel your fingers. I want them inside me."

Kara responded by teasing her fingertips around Lena's entrance. She eased one inside as Lena called out. She began moving slowly in and out.

"Yes, Kara, yes!" Lena began canting her hips against Kara's hand. "More, I want more."

Kara eased another finger in and began moving steadily faster. She continued working Lena's clit with her mouth and tongue, then sucking it tightly into her mouth. Lena had begun making a high breathy noise. Kara could tell she was about to cum as the sounds got faster and more desperate.

"More!" Lena called out. Kara moved a third finger inside her, pushing tightly against her front wall and thrusting harder. She felt Lena clench her fingers tightly and heard her call out her name.

"Yes, Kara! Oh god..." The movement of her hips slowed until she went still against the mattress. Kara leaned back so she could see Lena's face. She had stopped moving her fingers but kept them inside since she could still feel Lena clenching.

"Oh fuck, that was good." Lena said, her head dropped back and looking at the ceiling. "Thanks, I needed that."

"You don't need to say thanks, remember? I love making you cum."

"Using my own words against me, huh?" Lena chuckled as her breathing slowed, she stroked her fingers through Kara's hair.

"Lena, I'm not done with you yet." Kara eased her tongue back into her folds. Lena's body jerked, her clit still very sensitive.

Kara froze. "Sorry, Lena, should I stop?"

"Hell no. Just. go easy." Once again Lena pushed Kara's head back down. Kara gently and slowly eased her tongue through her folds, avoiding her sensitive clit for the moment.

"Yes, that's good, Kara. Don't stop."

Kara continued steadily licking and then sliding her tongue inside Lena, thrusting steadily in and out.

"God, I love your tongue." Lena gasped.

Kara eventually eased her tongue up and around Lena's clit. The increased moans from Lena told her she was ready. Kara tongued her clit gently and began to move it rapidly back and forth across the tip until Lena called her name loudly. Kara eased up, keeping her tongue in contact while Lena rode out her orgasm.

"Oh fuck, Kara." Once again Lena dropped her head back. "No one's given me such intense orgasms back-to-back like that! I really don't know how you do it."

"I just listen to your body. And sometimes your words." Kara said, chuckling. "I just... want to make you feel good."

"Well, you did." Lena lifted her head to gaze down at her. "You do. Now come here."

Kara laughed again and quickly climbed up Lena's body. She eased hers down on top of Lena and nuzzled at her neck.

"You wore me out, Kara. I think I need to sleep for a bit." Kara settled down next to Lena and laid her head down on the crook of her arm.

"Is it OK if I sleep here? Will it bother your arm?"

"No, Kara, it won't. I want you as close as possible. We don't have much time left..."

Kara draped her arm over Lena's stomach and snuggled in. Lena wrapped her arm around Kara's shoulder and caressed it.

"Good night, Kara."

"Good night, Lena." Kara said, then whispered. "I love you." Lena didn't respond and Kara wasn't sure whether Lena heard her or not.

They drifted off to sleep in each others arms. They slept deeply until they were jarred awake by knocking on the door. Lena sat straight up in bed, jostling Kara off of her.

"Lena? Are you awake? We were worried about you. We came home early. I just wanted to see you were alright."

"It's Father! They must have taken the red-eye flight! You've gotta get out of here." Lena whispered. Kara started to scramble and dig through the blankets to find her shirt, but she was too late. They both watched in horror as the door knob turned and the door started to open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger! I can't help it, I'm exhausted after writing that smut marathon, so, you're welcome :) Hopefully cliffhangers are a little but fun, right?


	27. Take Another Piece of My Heart

As the door to Lena's room began to open Kara made a split second decision. The worst outcome she could imagine was if Lena got in trouble because of her. As she realized Lena's family was about to walk through the door she decided she had to do whatever she could to stop them from finding her. It would be terrible for Lena, and probably mean they wouldn't get to see each other. In a split second Kara made her decision, and used her super speed to get under the bed as fast as possible as the door swung open. She hoped Lena wasn't looking at her when she did it.

"Lena! Is everything OK?" Lionel came and stood by her on the bed. "Are you...are you naked?!"  


Kara could hear Lena hurredly putting something on.

"Yes, I, well, I got hot last night..." Lena stammered.

Kara held perfectly still as Lena and her father discussed their break from each other. Eventually it became clear that Lena was not letting Lionel off the hook.

Finally, he seemed assured she was fine and left, telling her they would have a lovely family lunch together later. Kara held her breath, wondering what was waiting for her as she crawled out from under the bed. Before daring to look at Lena she went to the door and locked it.

"Better late than never, right?" She said anxiously, turning to Lena. Her heart clenched as she saw Lena was wearing her Superman shirt.

She was met with an icy glare like she had never seen before. She froze, not daring to move.

"Kara." Lena said, like she was trying to figure out what to say first. "What. the. fuck."

Kara just stood there, no idea what to say. "I, what do you mean?"

"What do I mean? What I mean is that you just vanished right before my eyes! And don't try to tell me you didn't. I know what I saw." Kara could see Lena was very close to losing it. Everything she's feared about Lena finding out was coming true. But she couldn't lie, she had to get it out.

"Lena, there's something I've been wanting to tell you..."

Lena continued giving her a deadly glare, waiting for her to go on.

"I, I...well...I'm not...I wasn't...um." Kara took a deep breath. "I wasn't born on Earth."

"You're an alien." Lena stated calmly, starring at her in amazement. "Of course. Of course. It all...makes sense now." Kara saw her eyes going cold. "I should have known you were too perfect to be human...maybe I did know..." she said to herself under her breath, but Kara heard all of it.

"I'm sorry. I've...well I've been planning to tell you. I just...there wasn't the right time..."

"Right. I see you waited until after I sucked your cock!" Kara could see fury on Lena's face.

"Lena, I didn't mean to...I tried...."

"Ha! You probably wouldn't have told me at all if I hadn't seen you disappear! So, what, you can become invisible?"

"No! I just, I'm just very fast. Faster than the human eye, if I try."

"And very strong. Of course. God! What an idiot I am not to realize!"

"You're not an idiot, Lena. I just...have to be careful. I try to act as much like a human as I can. If someone found out it could be very dangerous for my family."

"And you can't tell someone you don't trust. Like me. The poor little rich girl..."

"No! I do trust you, Lena. I just, I just had to protect my family..." Kara looked down at her hands, trying to think how to get Lena to understand. "I promise, I was going to tell you. I tried to tell you tonight, but, you didn't want to talk about anything... serious. Please Lena, please believe me."

"Right, so I'm supposed to believe you were just about to tell me, when you've had every chance in the world to be honest with me, and chose not to, time and time again."

"I know it's hard to believe."  
  
"How can you say you love me, when you don't even trust me enough to tell me who you are? You lied to me, Kara. You're just like everyone else, here to take what you can get from me."

"It's not true Lena. I do love you. I'd do anything for you...I, and I do trust you. I just...I was trying to protect my family." Kara inched closer to the bed.

"Stop!" Lena put up her hand. "Don't come near me. I...I want you out of here."

"Lena, please. Please let me explain."

"You did explain, Kara. Now I want you to leave." Lena seemed to realize Kara didn't have a shirt on. She looked down at the Superman shirt she was wearing, then reached down to jerk it over her head. She threw it as hard as she could towards Kara.

"Get out." She said coldly.

"Please, Lena...please." Kara could tell by the light coming through the window that she needed to go, but she didn't want to leave when Lena was so angry. If she could only make her see...

"Kara, get the fuck out of here!" Lena whisper-screamed.

"I...please try to understand..." Kara said as she tugged the shirt on. 

"Now! I want you to leave my room. Right now." Lena wasn't screaming now, but she was speaking in a way that gave Kara shivers. She made her way to the window and raised it. She looked carefully at the ground to make sure no one was around.

"Lena, can we talk later? I just..."

"There's nothing else to say, Kara." Lena said, now that she could see Kara was leaving she just sounded disappointed and resigned. "I really should have known." She said, more to herself than Kara.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I never wanted to hurt you. It was the last thing I wanted..." Kara sat down on the windowsill and took a long look at Lena before swinging her legs over the edge. "I love you, Lena." she said as she lept over to the tree and scrambled down.

Lena didn't say anything more, but Kara heard her sobbing just before she took off running for home. She was devastated not to be able to comfort her, but also knew that she was the last person who could help in that moment. 

***

Kara ran home at top human speed and managed to get back to her room undiscovered. It definitely helped that she didn't actually need to climb the creaking wooden stairs and instead took a standing jump to the top before hovering gently to her door. She had gotten pretty good at controlling her levitation and even managed to get into bed without waking Alex. That didn't last long though, she couldn't stop herself from bursting into tears once she was under her covers. She tried to keep quiet but eventually Alex woke up.

"Kara." Alex said, obviously realizing things had not gone well. "Come here."

Kara went to her immediately and climbed into her bed. As she curled against her chest Alex wrapped her arms around her and let her cry. After quite a while Kara's sobs slowed. She was able to tell Alex about her night, leaving out a lot of unnecessary details at Alex's request.

"I'm sorry, Kara. I definitely had a bad feeling about you going over there. But I also could see there was no stopping you."

"It was the best and worst night of my life. When I told Lena I loved her, well, she didn't say she loved me. It clearly made her uncomfortable, but I could tell there was a part of her that wanted to hear it. The look in her eyes, I can't explain it. She just wasn't ready to deal with it. Then when I tried to tell her about me, she didn't want to hear about anything that might be difficult. She could tell it was something heavy and just wanted to enjoy our night together. It seemed like a fair request. She had such a crappy Christmas Day alone. I just wanted to make her happy, to make her feel good."

"Kara, do you think she'll tell her family or someone else?"

"No. Absolutely not. She won't...do anything to hurt me. I know she's hurt but...I still trust her."

"I hope you're right."

"I just wish I'd had the chance to show her that I trust her. There's no chance of that now. How will she ever believe me about anything again?"

Alex didn't say anything, just rubbed Kara's shoulder and squeezed her tighter.

***

The Danvers spent another day relaxing, playing games and eating a lot. They all watched Kara carefully, noting the obvious change in her mood, but no one asked her about it directly. Throughout the day Kara would sneak away to call Lena, but it always went directly to voicemail. The first few times Kara left messages, but soon realized the futility. When she asked Alex why it would be going to voicemail every time she explained that Lena probably had her phone turned off.

By the evening she was about to jump out of her skin. Thankfully, the rest of the family turned in early. Having stayed up so late the night before and having a lot of wine, Eliza and Jeremiah excused themselves early. The sisters made their way to bed soon after. Kara stared at the ceiling, wide awake until she couldn't stand it anymore. She had to at least try to get Lena to talk to her.

"Alex..." She whispered.

"Just go, Kara. It can't get too much worse, I guess. Wait, forget I said that. I don't want to tempt fate."

"Thanks, Alex. I have to at least try to find out if she'll talk to me. And she clearly isn't going to answer her phone."

"Get out of here, Supersneak." Normally that would have gotten a giggle out of Kara, but she was too broken-hearted to laugh.

"Thanks, sis."

Kara ran to the mansion, but from a distance she could see there was something different about Lena's tree. She stopped and saw that it was clothes. She walked slowly, seeing that it was Alex's jacket she had put on Lena during their date, Kara's "Midvale Women's Rugby" T-shirt Lena wore to bed on Christmas Eve, and the flannel Lena had asked her to leave behind the night of her injury because it smelled like her. The clothes were hanging in the branches of the tree, clearly having been flung from Lena's bedroom window. The message was obvious to Kara. Lena didn't want anything of Kara's anywhere near her.

Kara continued making her way to the mansion. Slowly now, not in any hurry to further Lena's rejection of her. She stood at the base of the tree and looked up. She flashed back to that first night under Lena's window, when she'd rushed up the tree to save Lena from...her orgasm, as it turned out. Again, if she'd been in her usual state of mind she would have found it funny. Now it just made her feel more devastated to think back on those times.

Once again she tried to call Lena on her cell and it went directly to voicemail. She stood for a while at the base of the tree, and eventually she could no longer resist looking to see if Lena was in her room. She eased her glasses down to scan her room and found it empty. After that she went further and saw the family sitting together in a large dining room.

She'd brought her typed up memory, her present for Lena that she never had a chance to give. The letter described part of their first date, when Kara held Lena on the tower and they both looked out at the stars after kissing. At the time it felt like a connection with her home that she was able to share with Lena, secretly. That day she has also added more pages in a letter to Lena. She wrote about how she had fallen in love with her, how much she had wanted to tell her who she was, but how it felt like a betrayal to her Earth family, and how dangerous it would be for them if the wrong people found out. It felt like an impossible situation, and she ended up waiting too long to tell Lena. She swore she was planning to do it, but she feared that it was impossible for Lena to trust her. She didn't ask Lena not to tell anyone. She knew she didn't need to. She wrote some about her planet. How she had lost her whole world and family in an instant. She wrote about her journey to Earth and how she ended up with the Danvers. She didn't mention her cousin or the name Krypton specifically. She wanted to focus on her own experience and feelings and she knew Clark needed to stay as anonymous as possible. She apologized for any pain she had caused, and said it was the last thing she ever wanted to do. She wrote how much she missed Lena and pleaded with her to at least talk to her, even if she didn't want to see Kara, even if they could just talk on the phone. Finally, at the end she said if that she understood if it wasn't possible, that she was grateful for their time together, even if it was over. She finished it with:

"I will always love you. Kara"

Slowly, she climbed the tree and wedged the envelope by the lock where the windows met so that it would stand up and Lena could see it when she looked out the window. 

As she climbed down she removed the offending clothing and took it back home with her. It broke her heart further to realize she would never get to see Lena in her clothes again. How had things changed so quickly? She could feel it all slipping between her fingers, and it was impossible for her to do anything to stop it.

***  
The next morning she told Alex about her visit. It was clear that Alex was hoping for some sort of assurance from Lena that she would not be telling anyone about Kara's origins, but none was forthcoming. Kara tried again to reassure her that Lena would not do anything to hurt her, even if she now hated Kara.

Over the next couple of days Kara moved into a very depressing routine of calling and failing to reach Lena once a day. Sometimes she would leave messages, but mostly just hang up when it went to voicemail. It seemed silly to keep saying the same things over and over. Her texts met the same fate, no response. During the day she would go to the ranch for work. They were on short schedules due to the holiday, but she worked slowly and found herself lingering. It was difficult to see so many things that reminded her of Lena. She remembered kissing in the stables, seeing Lena with her blouse open and laid back on the hay in the loft. She thought about their long rides, talking and laughing. Cisco could tell she was down and encouraged her to go riding, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She wasn't ready to bring all those memories back full force.

Kara knew there was no way Lena would come to the ranch. First of all she was injured and probably couldn't ride yet. And secondly, she probably didn't want to risk seeing Kara. Even though her brain understood that, her heart was on high alert, not totally giving up hope. Whenever she heard someone approaching or a car coming down the hill she couldn't help but turn quickly to see who it was. Her heart would pound rapidly until she assured herself it wasn't Lena. After work she resisted going by the mansion, but each night as it got late her resistance was worn down and she would sneak out and go to Lena's window. The next night after leaving the letter she noticed it was gone, but Lena was not in her room. Kara spotted her in a very large room playing chess, with who she assumed to be her brother, Lex. Seeing Lena in such normal circumstances, just going about her life like nothing happened, hurt Kara. She realized she had to stop spying on her and promised herself she would stop scanning the house. It felt wrong to use her powers in that way.

After the third night of visiting and not finding Lena in her room, she made a reckless decision to stay for a while. The security seemed so incompetent, she felt she had nothing to worry about. She climbed up and leaned back in the branches of the tree and managed to doze off for a while. She was suddenly awakened to the sound of Lena calling to her.

"Kara! Kara! What the fuck are you thinking? You're going to fall out of that tree! You need to get out of here before someone sees you!" Lena was leaning out of the window and whisper-screaming towards Kara.

"Lena?" Kara said, coming out of a sleepy daze. "Lena..."

"Kara, you've got to stop with the calls and the visits. You're going to get yourself caught and get us both into massive trouble. My family is used to my dalliances, but what will happen to you? What will happen to your family?"

Kara felt a stab through her chest at the realization that she was now just another one of Lena's 'dalliances', and the realization that her childish behavior was putting her family and even Lena at risk.

"I'm sorry...you're right...I...I'll leave you alone. I was just so desperate to see you. I couldn't bear to stay away. I'm sorry. You've made it obvious you want nothing to do with me."

Lena gazed at her, with an almost sympathetic look. 

"God, I miss you, Lena. I can't tell you how much. I just...just seeing you, it makes me feel better. It's just, I can't stop thinking about you. I can't sleep. I've even lost my appetite. It's so hard being away from you. Is there anything I can say or do? I promise, Lena, I would do anything..."

Kara thought she caught a flash of a smirk on Lena's face. Probably she was resisting a comment about Kara's lose of appetite. But then it was gone, her expression gone hard.

"Kara, you need to be careful. You could be putting yourself in danger. Believe me, now that I've had a chance to hack into Lex's computer it's opened a whole new world of hatred toward aliens. I had no idea how immense, how extreme it really is. You need to take care of yourself, Kara. Take care of yourself and your family. The last place you should be is in a tree outside of the Luthor mansion. If security finds you in a tree, it will raise all sorts of suspicions."

"Ha, the security? Anyway, I'll hear right away if someone comes outside. I can be gone in a blink of an eye."

"Yes. So I've noticed." Lena said dryly.

"Please, Lena. Can I see you? Just for a little while? If I stay away from the mansion, will you please see me? I just, it's so hard to think about you hating me."

"No, Kara. No good can come of it." Lena said, looking resigned. 

"Please. Please, I'll meet you anywhere, anytime. Or we could just talk on the phone. I just...want a chance to talk. To explain."

"I get it, Kara. I read your letter. I understand why you did what you did, but it doesn't change anything. There's nothing more to say." Kara could see tears welling in Lena's eyes as she said it. "You need to go. It's not safe for you." 

At that Kara could hear someone coming down the hall and nearing Lena's door. Her eyes went wide.

"OK, OK, I know I have to go, just please..." At that Kara could hear knocking at the door and Lionel calling to Lena.

"Kara. Leave. Leave now!" As Lena turned towards the door Kara sped down the tree and ran towards home.

***

The next day was a Saturday, but Kara decided to go to work anyway. Despite knowing Lena wouldn't show, it was better for her to be outside doing something rather than sitting at home moping. Late in the afternoon she heard people approaching and her heart did it's usual flips as she figured out who it was. She was amazed to hear Lionel talking, followed by another young man who she assumed was Lex. She went to the barn to help with their horses and found Cisco there.

"They just called and said they were on their way. We haven't had any Luthors down in a while." He said, eyeing Kara. He had noticed her moping around but hadn't asked anything. He suspected his fears of her getting her heart broken by Lena had come true.

"Yes, well, Lena's ankle is injured and the rest of the family has been out of town." She was surprised to realize they had both been avoiding any discussions related to the Luthors. And now, here they were. 

When Cisco and Kara brought the horses out Lionel very politely introduced Kara to Lex. She appreciated that he remembered her and thought her important enough to introduce to his son. Lex didn't seem particularly interested, which told Kara that Lena had never mentioned her to Lex. It was probably for the best now.

After the Luthors set off down the trail Kara mentioned to Cisco that she wanted to go for a walk, trying to sound casual. 

"Why don't you ride? You could take a different trail, you won't bother the Luthors."

"No, no...I'm...not ready." Cisco looked confused but didn't say anything as he watched Kara walk away.

Kara went in a different direction for Cisco's benefit, then once she was in the forest made a bee line towards the trail the men had taken. She couldn't resist eavesdropping on them, desperate for information about how Lena was. After a while her efforts paid off.

"I'm glad you came out with me, today." Lionel said."I really wanted to get another ride in before the holiday is over. I'm going to have to get back for work soon. And my usual sidekick is injured."

Kara couldn't see them through all the trees, but could hear very clearly.

"Yes, I know you'd prefer to have your princess here." Lex sneered.

"Lex, of course that's not true. You just seemed to have lost interest in riding lately. I'm really glad to have you along."

"What's up with her, anyway? She's seemed so down since we got back."

"I was hoping you could tell me. You two used to confide in each other a lot. What's changed?" Lionel asked.

"I don't know, I've just grown up I guess. We're interested in very different things now."

"When we first got back I thought she was just punishing us for leaving her alone. But after days like this I think there's more to it."

"She's probably getting bored after being here for so long, especially now that she can't ride. She'll be fine once she gets back to school."

"I think you're right. She's asked if she can go back early. I told her no because I thought she could use more family time. But maybe it's for the best."

A pain shot through Kara's chest as she realized Lena could be leaving even sooner than she thought. Not that it mattered, she supposed, since Lena wouldn't speak to her anyway. Still, it was painful to think she would soon be so far away from her.

Lionel and Lex began talking of other things. She lost interest but continued to stay within hearing distance. Her interest perked up again as they neared the lake. She heard Lex telling his father about a group he was impressed with called the 'Children of Liberty'. They were a relatively new group and he was excited about their ideas. He talked about how they were pro-freedom and nationalist, and willing to take action to back up their beliefs. He didn't mention anything about aliens, but Kara knew that being anti-alien was at the top of their agenda based on research she had done for an article in the school paper. She listened closely to Lionel's reaction. He seemed interested and was even willing to donate some money to the cause, though Kara wasn't sure if he realized it was anti-alien or if he was just being supportive of his son's interests. She was surprised to find they seemed to have a nice relationship. She wondered where all Lex's anger was coming from. Was it really all related to this bad break up with an "outsider", as Lena had suspected? It seemed extreme for someone as fortunate as Lex to become so passionate about something like this. She so wished she could talk to Lena more about it.

Eventually they turned around and headed back. Kara stayed with them until they were nearly back, then dashed to the barn so that she could be there to help out with their horses. They both were very polite to her and to Cisco. Lionel thanked them for working over the break and complimented them on the condition of the ranch and horses. Kara was happy at the compliment, but reminded herself that she was not happy with Lionel for allowing the family to leave Lena alone over the holiday. Still, she smiled and said thank you, leaving him none the wiser that she knew anything about Lena's holiday.

That night she made her usual call to Lena. She had managed to get herself down to one call a day, leaving one message that more or less said the same thing. But in this message she told Lena she had heard her father and brother talking and knew she might be leaving for school early. She asked again for Lena to talk with her before she left.

The next day Alex insisted Kara go with her and some friends to a park for along hike along the coast. She thought Kara needed a break from the ranch, which was more or less a constant reminder of Lena. It did Kara good to get outside and away from all the reminders. 

On Monday she was still out of school, but went back at work. Cisco had a big surprise for her. He'd finally bought his new truck. He smiled widely as he presented her with the keys to her new old truck. Kara had dreamed about this day, but it was it was bittersweet. One of the first things she planned to do was take Lena out on a date, which obviously was no longer going to happened. As she drove home that afternoon she couldn't help but drive by the mansion. She'd stopped visiting after that night she saw Lena, but she felt the truck gave her a bit of anonymity that she didn't have on foot. As she drove by late that afternoon she could see a light coming from Lena's room and was reassured that she hadn't returned to school just yet. That night when she called Lena and got her voicemail, Kara left a message about her new truck and her dreams of taking Lena on a date. She realized that she had gradually moved from pleading with Lena to call her to simply telling her about her day. She missed being able to talk to Lena, and even though she knew Lena was probably deleting the messages without listening, it helped her feel a little bit connected, like she was still sharing something with her. She decided it was OK to delude herself a bit about that. Alex had explained to her how sometimes you have to 'fake it till you make it', which meant that you have to go about your daily life and function as normally as possible, even when it felt like the world was ending. Eventually it would get easier, and eventually it wouldn't feel like she was only pretending and going through the motions of her life. 

The next day she continued with her work routine. When she wasn't working she spent a lot of time writing. It was helping her work through her thoughts and feelings. She laughed to herself at one point, realizing that she was again doing what Lena suggested, and that she might even be glad to know Kara was writing. Or maybe she had stopped thinking of Kara with anything but anger. Kara wished she knew, even to just have an inkling about how Lena was doing. It was so hard to endure endless silence. She would have much preferred Lena yelling at her. As she dialed Lena's number for her nightly call Kara decided that tonight her message would be about her writing, and how much she appreciated Lena encouraging to do it. She was concentrating on what she would say and failed to notice the phone rang a second ring, and a third, but by the fourth she was fully alert to the fact that it had not gone directly to voicemail. She held her breath, waiting for it to click over, when instead she heard the ringing stop and Lena's voice on the other end.

"Hello, Kara." Lena said quietly.

"Hi, Lena! Thanks for picking up."

"I'm not sure why I did. I just...I do miss the sound of your voice."

"I miss your voice too, Lena. I miss all of you. I can't tell you how much." It got quiet on the other end and Kara scrambled for something to say. She had long given up hope that Lena would answer and she was ill-prepared to actually talk to her.

"I...well, I've been writing you letters. I've really missed being able to talk to you."

The line stayed quiet on Lena's end, so Kara soldiered on.

"Yes, well, there are so many things I wanted to talk to you about, but since you weren't ready to talk I've been writing about them. I wanted to tell you...thanks. Thanks for encouraging me to write. It's a good way to deal with..." Kara's rambling dropped off. She didn't want to say something to suggest Lena was hurting her. The last thing she wanted to do was suggest that Lena was at fault.

"I saw your brother yesterday." Kara ventured after Lena failed to respond. She was desperate to keep the conversation going.

"Yes, you told me in your message."

It was just a tiny ray of light, but Kara's heart soared to find out that Lena had listened to her messages. That small bit of connection wasn't completely fabricated in her mind.

"Your father and brother are worried about you. They said...they said you asked to go back to school early..."

"Yes. I really want to get back as soon as I can. There's nothing really here for me right now. I can't ride and...everything... just reminds me of you."

Kara felt the stab through her chest again. Lena couldn't wait to get back to her other life and get away from her.

"I am sorry, Lena. I hope I haven't...ruined Midvale for you. You said this it was the place you felt most at home."

"Yes, well." Lena paused. "No one can take horses away from me. I'll be back to the ranch, someday. I just need time to forget."

"To forget me." Kara said, not as a question, but as a realization.

"I'll never forget you, Kara. But I need to move on from this holiday...break from my real life. I need to focus. I'm half way through my junior year. Soon I'll need to figure out where I'll go to college, decide what I want to do with my life...I'm sorry, Kara. You still have 3 more years here ahead of you, and Midvale can't be a part of my planning."

Once again Kara felt a stabbing pain through her chest at the thought that she wasn't a part of Lena's 'real life'.

"If I would have told you sooner... would it have made any difference?"

"No, Kara. No. We could have continued for a while longer, but it couldn't have been more than fun during the holidays. Don't be so hard on yourself. There were reasons why I didn't want you to talk about love. First of all, you don't love me, not the real me. And secondly, I don't fall in love. And if I ever do, it won't be with a freshman ranch hand living in Midvale. It would just never...work." 

Lena's words cut right through her, but she felt she deserved it. She knew Lena was striking out at her, trying to hurt her the way Kara hurt her.

"Lena, please, say anything you want to hurt me. I deserve it. I want it. I want you to hurt me. Maybe it will help me push back against this pain that I've inflicted on you and myself. I'll take all of it. Please, just, stay on the line."

Kara could hear Lena giving out an exasperated breath. "Kara. What the hell is wrong with you? Why don't you fight back? My comment was way out of line!"

"Lena, I would fight anyone, anything for you. And I would win. But I won't fight you." Kara said it with complete conviction, like she didn't need to convince anyone because it was simply a fact.

Kara heard Lena gasp softly, then she went quiet. A few moments later Kara realized the connection was dead.

***

The next morning Kara had renewed hope. The tiny connection to Lena had inspired her to not give up quite yet. She woke up and couldn't resist texting her.

"Buenos dias! I know you're probably still sleeping, but I just wanted to say thanks for picking up last night. It was so good to hear voice."

After that Kara tried to go about her day normally, not looking at her phone every minute, but she couldn't resist regularly checking for a message. After a few hours she realized she was being foolish. Lena was not going to respond to her text, despite the progress she thought she had made the night before. It was a devastating blow to get her hopes up again only to have them dashed.

That afternoon at the ranch she decided it was time for her to ride again. Riding was a comfort to her before she even knew Lena. She needed to work on getting past the pain and back to things that were meaningful to her. Cisco smiled as he say her heading out of the corral.

"Back in the saddle again?" He said with a smile.

"Yes, sir!" Kara tipped her hat broadly and bowed from the saddle, determined to 'fake it' as best she could.

"It's good to see you back, Kara."

After work that day she couldn't resist driving her new old truck past the mansion. She paused at the end of the long driveway, out of sight of the mansion but still within earshot. She decided to let herself sit for a few moments at a distance, but as soon as she shut off the very loud, noisy antique truck engine she could hear a fight going on at the mansion. Someone was screaming at the top of their lungs, followed by sobs she recognized as Lena's. At that point there was no decision for her to make. She turned the rig back on and floored it down the driveway to the house. She came to a stop and only barely stopped herself from breaking through the front door to see what was wrong. But she knew in her heart that it would likely bring more trouble to Lena.

She tried to focus and figured out that Lena was in a fight with her brother. From what she gathered Lena had confronted him about his anti-alien activities and he was not at all happy to be called out by his little sister.

"You're so naive. You have no idea what the real world is like!" He yelled at her.

"That may be, but I know enough to see that dividing people isn't the answer. Lex, we've been given such a huge opportunity to make a difference, just by the luck of being in this family." Lena said in a pleading voice.

"Well, it may have been luck for you, but I was actually born into this family!"

Kara heard Lena gasp loudly and then a door slam. She sat in the cab of her truck for a while, fighting the urge to run and try to hold Lena. She could now hear Lena crying quietly. She could barely bring herself to care about what would happen to herself, but she managed to stop from trying to go to her by thinking about what it could mean to Lena to have her bursting in uninvited. Instead, she drove her truck out to the main road and parked on the shoulder, then made her way through the trees towards the mansion. Without conscious thought she found herself at the base of Lena's tree, listening closely but resisting the urge to scan the room. She could tell right away that Lena was curled up in her bed and crying quietly just by the sound.

Kara decided she could at least try to call. She took out her phone and found that once again Lena's number rang more than once. It was an odd feeling, hearing the phone ring first on her phone followed closely by another ring from Lena's phone inside her room. It rang and rang, and just as Kara was sure it would go to voicemail she could tell Lena had picked up, but had not said anything.

"Hi, Lena." Kara said quietly. Still she got no response, but she didn't let it deter her.

"Um, well, how was your day?" Kara asked, desperate to keep her on the line but not wanting to let on that she'd been listening to her big fight with her brother. Still, she could only hear breathing on the other end of the line.

"It's OK if you don't feel like talking. I can talk enough for both of us!" Kara began to tell Lena about her day. She told her how hard it was to work at the ranch knowing Lena wouldn't be there. But she said it in a very matter-of-fact way, not at all intended to make Lena feel bad.

"I went out to the lake the other day. Well, the truth is I was following your father and brother out there. I was so desperate to hear anything about you." Kara paused before jumping in again. "But anyway, it reminded me of the times we had together there. Curled up on the blanket together...God, I miss kissing you, Lena. There's just nothing better in this world."

"Stop, Kara." Finally, she got Lena to respond.

"Sorry. I just...well, like I said. I just miss you so much." The line went quiet again on Lena's end. 

"Where are you right now?" Lena asked after several moments.

"Well." Kara was ashamed to tell Lena the truth, but she had promised herself never lie to Lena again. "I'm just...well, I'm just outside the window. I'm sorry, Lena. I don't mean to stalk you, I just...sometimes it's so hard to be away from you. It helps just a little bit to be physically closer to you, even if I can't see you. Well, I mean, I could see you, but I've stopped doing that. I realized it's creepy."

"Kara. What the hell are you talking about?"

"I just mean, I could see you, but I've decided not to do that."

"You mean you can see me right now?"

"No! I mean...um...well, I could. But I chose not to. I promise, I'm not going to do that anymore!"

"Do what?" Lena said, sounding extremely confused.

"I mean, I'm not going to scan through walls to see where you are."

"Jesus, Kara. So you're telling me you can see through walls?!"

"No! Well...yes. I can, but only if I try, it's not my normal way of seeing. And I've promised myself not to do it anymore. Unless someone is in danger."

Once again it got quiet on Lena's end.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I know I'm a freak, and the more details you hear the more weirded out you are."

"Not exactly." Lena said in a low tone.

"Lena. Would you...would you come to the window? It feels like I haven't seen you in so long."

"It's probably not a good idea, Kara." Lena said with determination. Kara could tell she was still curled up on her bed.

"Right! It's probably not." As Kara tried to talk herself into leaving until she realized it just wasn't going to work. Instead she sat down at the base of the tree and leaned against the trunk, looking at her hands and resisting the urge to peek into Lena's room. She tilted her head back against the trunk and closed her eyes. Knowing Lena was so close was helping her to calm down, however, in the back of her mind she knew she needed to get out of there. Kara kept her eyes closed for a while as she ran through some Kryptonian rhymes, which had always been comforting to her. She startled as she heard the window open. She jolted to see Lena in the window, staring down at her like she could see through her.

"Lena!" Kara said, a bit in shock at suddenly seeing her face.

Lena looked down on her with her arms crossed, looking at her with a curious expression on her face.

"You really are something else, Kara. I don't know how I didn't realize..." Lena said wistfully.

"Is it so terrible, realizing you've been spending so much time and ...um...hanging out with an alien?" Kara asked. "I guess it's a big shock realizing you were with a ...freak...like me."

"No. No Kara. That's not it at all."

They gazed at each other, moving into the state they sometimes did, when they understood what the other was thinking without saying anything.

"You better get on home." Lena said eventually.

"Please don't send me away yet, Lena. It feels like forever since I've seen your face.

Lena stood for several minutes looking down but not saying anything. 

"Lena, will you...send me a message when you know when you're leaving? It's just, well, I can't stop myself from sometimes coming here if I know you might still be around. It's just, it's silly to take that chance if you're on the east coast." Kara tried to appeal to her practicality. 

"OK. I'll text you when I'm leaving." Lena responded after what felt like an interminable time to Kara. 

"Thanks, Lena." Kara realized at that point it would be too late, but she also didn't want to continue that risk if Lena wasn't there. Even though she was doing better, she knew the only way she could stay away completely would be if Lena wasn't there. 

Lena looked at her for a few more moments before shutting the window and climbing into bed.

"Good night, Kara." Lena said into her pillow. But of course, Kara heard every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ending the cliffhanger wait early, since everyone figured out my not-so-clever plot device anyway :)  
> Thanks for all your comments and guesses about the plot!


	28. Could You Find a Way to Let Me Down Slowly?

Seeing Lena that night, and knowing she would text her before she left for school helped Kara to let go of her visits and calls. She continued to write about her feelings, but she felt she was getting a better handle on herself. She stopped driving by the mansion after work and stopped leaving messages. She felt she had done all she could, and it clearly wasn't enough for Lena to forgive her. 

Kara and Alex talked late on most nights, hashing through Kara's thoughts and feelings. Alex mostly listened, but also tried to encourage Kara to try to move on. She told her, as Lena had often said, that feelings can be very tied up with sex. That didn't actually help Kara, because she knew that wasn't the reason she loved Lena. Alex told her how first loves were especially intense, and reminded her that she had no experience dealing with those types of feelings. She assured her it would get easier. And that Kara did believe, because she could already feel herself letting go. Not that her feelings had changed, but she recognized that if Lena couldn't forgive her, didn't want her, or both, that there was nothing she could do or say to change that. She realized that her behavior had been risky, not just for her, but also for Lena. 

Another point Alex made was that Lena may not feel the same way. And that Kara believed. Secretly, she had held out hope that Lena did love her, but wasn't ready to face all the complications that would bring. But now it was clear that would never be.

On New Year's Eve Kara joined Alex for a party on the beach with friends from school. It was pretty chilly and there was a big bonfire. Kara mostly gazed into the fire and smiled and said 'hi' to people she knew. Winn found her and gave her a big hug. It reminded her of her confusion about cuddling on the first night she visited Lena at her house, when Lena thought Kara was intentionally kissing someone at the beach party. This time, it made her sad, but she was also able to laugh at herself.

"What's so funny?" Winn asked.

"Oh, it's just that, sometimes I'm such a dork that I have to laugh at myself."

"I know what it is. You were remembering when I tried to kiss you!"

"No! Winn, I wasn't laughing at you. You were very sweet. I really was laughing at myself."

"Do you want to walk down the beach?" He asked.

"Um...sure. As long as you promise not to kiss me!" She teased.

"Scout's honor!" He said, holding up three fingers and putting his other hand on his heart.

"OK, let's go." Kara took his arm and pulled him towards the water. As they walked they talked about what they did on their holiday breaks so far. Kara focused on her time with the Danvers and omitted any activities involving Lena. It was strange for her to realize she had this separate life that only she, Lena, and Alex knew about. Cisco suspected, but didn't really know anything. 

After a while they sat down on the beach and watched the waves. 

"Sounds like you've been having a nice break. Are you dreading going back to school?" Winn asked.

"I was but...not anymore. It'll be a good distraction." Kara said thoughtfully.

"A distraction from what?" He asked.

"Oh, I...I just mean I'm getting a little bored. Some things I'm looking forward to. Like working on the paper, chemistry lab and math. I really like a lot of things about school, I just don't like sitting so much. I wish there was a way to speed things up."

"I know what you mean. It can be very slow. I guess we're too smart for our own good." Winn teased and Kara punched him in the arm playfully.

"Hey! That hurt. Um, that reminds me, I wanted to ask you something..." Winn trailed off.

"What is it?" Kara said eventually.

"It's just that, well, Siobhan called me over the break and..." Winn stopped again and Kara waited patiently.

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but I trust you, Kara." Winn said.

"You can trust me. I'm good with secrets, if I need to be." She said glumly.

"Siobhan told me that Morgan, well, he sometimes gets very intense..."

"In what way?"

"Well, you saw how he got so jealous and came after me..."

"Yes, I remember, go on."

I guess he sometimes comes after her."

"Comes after her! How?" Kara demanded.

"I don't know, she wouldn't tell me exactly. But it sounds like he gets to rough with her sometimes. And something must have happened over break that scared her enough to call me."

"She needs to tell her parents...or someone with authority."

"I know, she says she'll never do that. She says it would be humiliating for her and also she doesn't want to hurt his chances for a football scholarship. I tried to convince her but couldn't."

"Well, then...what can we do?"

"I was hoping you'd say that. I just, well, I'm not sure what to do. And you're the only one who has ever stood up to him."

Kara hesitated, knowing this was exactly the type of thing Alex had told her not to get involved in. But she also knew she had to start making decisions for herself. Following Alex's request not to tell Lena had destroyed their relationship. She knew it was wrong for her, but she'd done it for Alex and it had been a disaster. She really didn't blame Alex, and totally understood her position. But she knew that it was time for her to listen to her heart about what was right and what was wrong for her own actions.

"Well, I don't know what I can do, but I want to help. Maybe I could talk to him about staying away from her."

"That's part of the problem. She won't break up with him! I think it's partly that she thinks she loves him and can help him. She thinks she can make him better, but...that just seems like a terrible idea. She might also be afraid of what he might do if she did break up with him. I think he threatened her. Maybe if you talk to her, or we talk to her together. I just thought, if she knew there was someone who could stand up to him on her side...maybe she would make a better decision."

"Well, she needs to be OK with my knowing and getting involved. You need to talk to her, Winn. She has to be willing or there's not much we can do. I'm happy to talk to her if you think it will help. In the meantime, if I ever see him acting aggressively towards her, or anyone else, I'll do what I can. The problem is that he probably isn't doing this to her around anyone else."

"Thank you! OK, I'm going to work on that. I feel so much better, I just didn't know how to help. I'll call her tomorrow."

"OK. And, by the way, I have a phone now if you want to reach me." Kara said, pulling her phone out of her jacket.

"Wow! Well, welcome to the 21st century! So glad you could join us." Winn said, teasing.

Kara knocked him in the shoulder again, this time more gently.

***

That night Kara told Alex about the situation with Siobhan and her decision to help. Alex put up her usual arguments, but Kara could tell they were half-hearted. She thought Alex could tell it wouldn't help to argue, and that she would want to help too if she could.

"Alex, I know you would help if you could. It would be great to get your thoughts on the best way to go about this. I don't have any experience in dealing with these types of things. You're so smart and knowledgeable about...the world! Maybe we could work together on this."

Alex hesitated. Kara could tell she was definitely tempted.

"Please, Alex. You could be the brains and I could be the muscle. We could be a great team. Winn has a good heart, but I don't really trust him to know the best way to deal with something this sensitive."

"I'll think about it, Kara."

"OK, thanks. I think we could make a real difference if we worked together. There may be other situations that just need help from people like us, where we could do some good. It's exciting to think about!"

"Whoa, whoa, don't go crazy here! Let's just take it a step at a time." Alex said. "It's great to hear you excited about something again. You're getting some of your spirit back, Kara."

"Thanks, Alex. I'm in a much better place now. It's still very hard. I miss her so much. But...I'm learning to let go. I've stopped visiting and calling Lena. I see now that I was way out of line. I want to write her and apologize for all of it. But I'm not holding out any big hopes that I can fix anything. Still, I haven't completely given up all hope, I have to admit. I'm just...taking a step back."

"That sounds really good, Kara. I'm proud of you." Alex said. "You know, I think we've both come through some less-than-healthy situations and become stronger for it. If you think about it we both had relationships that had to be hidden, or we thought they did. It led to a lot of sneaking around and dishonesty. You were in an especially hard situation. You had to hide because you thought Lena's parents would keep you from seeing each other, plus you had to hide from Lena about being an alien. I wish things...could have been different. It created tension and challenges, and ended up being very painful when it fell apart."

"I wish things could have been different, too. And I want to tell you that I've decided that I need to be the one to decide who I'm going to tell...about me. And I don't mean I'm going to run out and tell anyone, but there may be relationships and times in my life where it becomes necessary. I have to be the one to decide."

"I see that now, Kara. I just want to say, I still think it is very dangerous and you have to be careful, but I understand now that there may be other people in your life that you need to tell. It's just not fair for you to carry it all, especially after I leave for college. Just, please be careful about that decision and don't take it lightly."

"Never. I will take time to think it through. And I'll want to talk to you about it."

"I'm always here for you if you need to talk." 

"Thanks, Alex." Kara said.

"Um, Kara...I still want to take you to the drugstore and help you buy some condoms. I know you're not planning to have...penetrative sex, as you call it, anytime soon. But it's just important that you know how to do that on your own. I know right now it feels like you'll never want to be with anyone else again. But some day you will. And it's just better to be prepared and be safe. I won't be here forever, you know."

"Alex,...I..."

"I know you're embarrassed about being different. That's why we should do it together for the first time. And there's nothing to be embarrassed about. You'll see, no one will look at you funny or judge you, I'm sure."

Kara sat quietly.

"Let's go into town together tomorrow. We can go by the drugstore and get it over with, then grab a bite to eat after. It'll be a Sister's Day Out. Come on, it'll do us both good!"

"Ha, I wonder how many sisters include buying condoms on their Sister's Day Out!"

Alex smirked. "It might be more than you would guess."

"Hmm. Always trying to get me to do unpleasant tasks by bribing me with food. Can we go to Shahid's?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

"OK, Alex. Sounds like fun. Except for the drugstore part, but I understand why it's important."

"Great." Alex grinned. "I'm driving!"

"That's fine, but we have to take my truck." Kara insisted. "Hope you know how to drive a stick!"

"Oh, just forget it!" Alex said with exasperation. "I know you want to show off your new rig in town. And no, I can't drive a stick."

Kara grinned broadly. "Buckle up, big sis!"

"You can bet I will..." Alex said, shaking her head.

***

The next day the sisters were chatting over pizza at a local joint. Kara was facing the door and in the middle of a huge bite of folded-over pizza when her eyes went wide. She immediately started choking on her food.

"Kara, are you alright? I've never seen you have trouble eating too-large bites before." Alex said with surprise.

Kara got herself under control and took a big swig of water.

"Sorry, I, it's just. Lena just walked in."

Alex whipped around. They both stared as Lena walked in on the far side of the restaurant with another girl about her age. Lena was using a crutch, but Kara could see she was mostly putting her weight on her ankle and seemed to be moving around much better than last time she had seen her walking. They were seated at a booth on the other side of the restaurant.

"Sorry, Kara. Did she see you?"

"No, I don't think so. And it's OK. I have to admit, it hurts to see her. But I'm glad to see she's getting around so well."

"Always looking on the bright side." Alex said. "Do you want to go?"

"No. It's fine. I'm really OK. I want us to just enjoy our lunch."

After that Kara didn't take another bite, but made an effort to keep talking and not stare. 

"Wow, her friend is...I don't think she's from Midvale." Alex said.

"Why?"

"Well, it's a small town and I'm pretty sure I would have remembered if I'd seen her before. She's obviously not at our school."

Kara glanced over at them again and saw Lena and her friend cracking up about something.

"Yes, she is...quite striking." Kara admitted. As they continued talking Kara couldn't resist an occasional furtive glance at their booth. At one point she glanced over and saw Lena looking right at her.

"Well, she knows I'm here now. Maybe I should just go over and say 'hi'."

"Sure. Whatever you think." Alex said. "Do you want me to come along?"

"Ha! I know why you want to go over there." Kara teased.

"What? I'm just trying to be supportive sister!" Alex protested.

"Yeah, right. OK, let's go. I'm starting to feel silly trying to pretend not to look at her." Kara said as she got up. "And yes, you can come along, supportive sis!" 

The sisters walked across the restaurant. Lena noticed when they were half way there and watched them carefully.

"Hello Kara, Alex." She said as they reached the booth. Lena's friend turned and looked at them with surprise.

"Hey, Lena." Kara said quietly. "I don't want to bother you, just wanted to say 'hi'"

"I see." Lena seemed to realize her manners. "This is a dear friend of mine from school, Sam. Sam, this is Alex, and Kara." She said, nodding toward each of them.

"Nice to meet you." Alex spoke up and reached to shake Sam's hand.

"You as well." Sam looked at Alex with interest and then at Kara. "This one I've heard quite a lot about." She said, looking pointedly at Kara.

"Oh...um...I hope some of it was good." Kara turned bright red as she realized Lena must have talked to Sam about her. 

"Well, it was definitely interesting." Sam said, followed by an long pause.

"So, you two are headed back to school soon, I guess." Alex jumped in, trying ease the awkwardness.

"Yes, school starts next week." Sam said as Lena continued to stay quiet.

"And what brings you to Midvale?" Alex soldiered on.

"Well, I felt my friend could use some cheering up. She's been pretty down." Sam said, looking at Kara. "I was leaving to drive back to school and we decided I should come by so we could road trip back together."

"Sounds like fun, how long will you be in town?" Alex asked. Kara gave her a side eye.

"Well, we hadn't planned on staying long. I've never been to Midvale before but Lena made it sound like there wasn't much to see. But I'm starting to think she was holding out on me..." Sam said with an evil grin. "Why don't you both squeeze in with us?"

"Sam, enough." Lena looked at her intently.

"Sure! We're finished eating." Alex offered. Sam had already moved to the far side of the booth and Alex slid in beside her.

They all 3 looked at Lena and waited to see if she would move. Kara stood like a deer in the headlights, wanting to bolt for the door but also not able to resist the chance to be near Lena. Finally, Lena relented and slid over for Kara to sit.

"So, have you always lived in Midvale?" Sam asked Alex.

"Yes. I love it here. I know it's a pretty sleepy town, but it's great being so close to the beach. You can surf during most of the year and there are a lot of fantastic hikes nearby. Kara and I went on a beautiful hike just a couple of days ago."

"Hiking, huh? I haven't been on a hike in ages. I'm coming from up north, it's freezing this time of year. It's really more ski season right now." Sam said, looking at Alex.

"Oh, well, if you have time I'd be happy to take you out. On a hike." Alex added hastily.

"I'd love that! Lena, what do you think?" They all looked at Lena to see her glaring daggers at Sam.

"Please, Lena. You never take me anywhere..." Sam said suggestively. Kara felt a jealous pang at the thought of Lena taking Sam out.

"Well, I'm not exactly in top hiking condition at the moment." Lena said dryly.

"Oh, right." Sam looked disappointed. After a bit she tried again. "Well you wouldn't ...have to go...I mean. You still need to pack. I could drop you off."

Lena continued glaring at Sam. 

"Lena, if you like, I could drive you down to the ranch and then drop you off at home. I was thinking you might want to visit the horses before you go back to school..." Kara said hopefully.

Lena was quiet for several moments. Sam gave her a pitiful look and Kara held her breath.

"Fine. Who am I to stand in the way of you getting what you want?" Lena said finally, looking directly at Sam.

"Exactly." Sam said with a wide grin. "Fresh air and exercise!" 

"Well, shall we go?" Alex said excitedly as she looked between Lena and Sam. They had abandoned their food after Kara and Alex arrived.

"I can't think of any reason why not." Lena said, clearly wishing she could think of a good reason.

"Great, then, I guess we're off!" Alex said enthusiastically. 

"Vamonos, chicas!" Sam grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you for the thoughts and ideas about wrapping this up, or not wrapping it up. Originally I didn't plan to take this beyond Midvale, but lately have been thinking it would be fun to have a time jump. I think I'm having a hard time letting go of these two. Maybe it's an excuse for hanging on, or maybe it could be really great. Anyway, if you have an opinion on time jump vs. finish the damn thing, please weigh in.  
> Also, I've had a lot of great ideas from comments, so please continue and thanks!


	29. No One's Gonna Love You the Way I Do

Outside the pizza joint, Kara helped Lena into her truck. It was a big step up and not ideal for someone with a bad ankle. Kara used all of her will power and managed not to lift Lena into the cab. Once she was sure Lena was completely inside she closed the door and made her way around to the driver side.

She climbed into the driver seat and was horrified to realize that the bag from the drugstore was laying in the center of the seat bed. The condom box could easily be seen through the thin plastic of the bag. Kara prayed Lena hadn't noticed as she grabbed the bag and shoved it into her glove compartment.

"Wow. You didn't waste any time getting back in the saddle." Lena observed dryly.

"What? Lena! No. I just. Alex...just, wanted me to know how to get them. She was worried I wouldn't do it myself." Kara stammered. "It's just, I'm embarrassed because, well...I'm different, biologically. As you know." Kara got quiet. She reminded herself that she wasn't going to be able to convince Lena of anything and let it go.

"It's fine, Kara. It's none of my business." Lena said with nonchalance.

It hurt Kara to think Lena really didn't care that she might be having sex with someone.

"Kara, I just want you to know that...I didn't say anything to Sam about...that. Or about you being an alien."

"I know, Lena. I know you won't tell anyone. I trust you."

Lena made a small scoffing noise through her nose but didn't say anything.

They both got quiet after that.

"So, you and Sam are headed back to school soon?" Kara asked, eventually breaking the silence.

"Well, I thought so, but I'm worried that my ride is getting distracted and will want to stay longer."

Kara looked confused for a minute. "Do you mean...Alex.?"

Lena looked at Kara for a minute. "Yes, Kara, I mean Alex. Maybe you don't realize it since you're her sister, but Alex is gorgeous. And any red-blooded lesbian is going to recognize that. Didn't you notice how Sam was looking at her?"

"I can see Alex is beautiful. So I guess Sam is one of those red-blooded lesbians?"

"Close enough."

"So, are you telling me Alex is damn hot?"

Lena chuckled. Kara could tell she was remembering the time Lena told her she was hot, after watching her rapidly stack hay bales in the barn.

"Oh my god!" Lena said, like she was having an epiphany. "When I said you were hot, in the barn, you told me you were 2 degrees warmer..." Lena's voice dropped off.

"Yes. I caught myself before I said I was 2 degrees warmer than humans."

"For fuck's sake! For a genius I can be pretty stupid."

"You're not stupid, Lena. I'm just not what people think of when they imagine aliens."

"That's true. You're more like that beautiful superhero..." Lena stopped herself again. "Kara?"

"What?"

"Are you...are you from Krypton?" Lena said, sounding a bit in shock.

"I...why would you ask that?"

"It's just that...you look so...human. And you're very strong and fast. You told me you can see through walls, like you have x-ray vision. And I've heard you stand up for Superman. It was almost like you took my suspicion of him personally. You even have a shirt with his insignia that you like to wear!"

"It's not just HIS insignia..." Kara said, defensively.

"Kara! Do you...do you know Superman?"

"Well...you're right, I am...from Krypton. And I do know him." Kara said quietly. "The truth is, he's kind of a jerk sometimes."

Lena got quiet, clearly overwhelmed to realize Kara knew Superman.

"I admire Superman. It...seems like he wants to help, like he really cares about humans." She said eventually.

"He absolutely does. It's not as easy to be helpful as you might think. It can be very...complicated. It's a big sacrifice for him. But he loves doing it."

"Yes, I'm sure it must be extremely difficult to live that way."

"Lena. It's very important for Superman to be as anonymous as possible. No one can know there is another Kryptonian on Earth."

"Of course. I understand, Kara. You don't need to worry about me telling anyone."

"I know." Kara said quietly. "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me or say anything about me specifically. It's just that, Superman is much more vulnerable than I am when it comes to his identity. I'm anonymous, only a handful of people know about me. Superman has a lot of enemies."

"I promise, Kara. I would never say anything."

"Thank you." Kara said.

After that they both got quiet as they continued towards the ranch.

After a while Kara couldn't help but break the silence. "It's so strange having you here in the cab of my new old truck. This is one of the things I so looked forward to. This is...not at all what I had imagined. Amazing how quickly things can change."

Lena stayed quiet but was clearly listening intently.

"I mean, nothing's changed for me. I still love you and... want to be with you, more than anything. But for you...it seems like one minute you wanted me so much...and the next minute you couldn't stand the sight of me. I've been thinking about that this past week or so."

Still, Lena stayed quiet.

"I don't mean to say my feelings have changed. Not in the least. But I've realized that...this can't be a one way street. And as much as I love you, you don't care for me enough to forgive me, or even talk to me, and well...that realization is helping me let go. I think I was fooling myself into thinking you cared for me, even though you never said it. Even though you didn't want to hear me say it. That should have been a very big clue for me."

Lena continued to look straight ahead.

"Lena, I really just want to apologize for the way I acted last week with all the calls and visits. I was just...was so hopeful that I could explain, and make you understand why I did what I did, or what I didn't do, rather. If I just had the chance...but Alex and you both helped me realize that what I was doing wasn't OK. I'm really sorry if I did anything that made you uncomfortable. I would never do anything to hurt you."

"I know that, Kara." Lena said quietly.

"The truth is, Lena. You will always be my first love. I know you and everyone else thinks I'm too young and naive to know what that means. But...I know my heart better than anyone else." Kara took in a deep breath. "I just want to say that...if you ever need anything...if there's ever anything I can do for you...please...let me know. You do...have my number, after all."

After that Kara finally looked over at Lena and could see tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I wasn't trying to upset you, I just...I want you to know how I feel. I hate that I was hiding for so much of our time together. It's not that I didn't trust you."

Lena sat looking straight ahead.

"I understand, Kara, I do. But honestly, it's really time for both of us to move on. To get back to our real lives."

"I know. It's just... how are you so sure about what's real and what's not real?" Kara asked.

Lena just looked thoughtful and didn't respond. Kara pulled the truck to a stop as they arrived at the ranch. Neither moved to get out and just looked out at the corral.

Suddenly Kara had what she considered a brilliant idea. "Lena! Lena, would you like to go for a ride? I could get you on and off the horse without having to use your ankle at all. You could just enjoy the ride and give your ankle a rest. Wouldn't it be nice to get out on a horse before you head east?" Kara looked hopefully at Lena.

"That...sounds lovely, Kara. I'm not sure when I'll have the chance to ride again."

Kara took a quick scan of the area, then made a beeline for the barn. No one was around so she was able to get the horses ready without anyone asking questions. Lena hobbled out to her horse and, after assuring the coast was clear, Kara lifted her into the saddle quickly without anyone even realizing.

"Shall we go to the lake?" Kara asked.

"Why the hell not." Lena said, with resignation.

They rode slowly and were mostly quiet during the ride. At one point Lena spoke up.

"Kara, if you're from Krypton, does that mean that... you can fly?"

Kara got quiet, but there was no point in dodging the question. "Yes. I...well, I couldn't at first, but I eventually I just...sort of figured it out."

"Wow." Lena looked stunned. "I always imagined that would be the most amazing feeling, being able to fly. When I was younger I spent a lot of time brainstorming about how to build something to allow people to fly, without aircraft I mean. But that's not really the same thing, is it? What's it like...to really be able to fly?"

"Well, at first it was kind of surprising, even scary. I didn't have much control. But now it's pretty wonderful. I don't do it very often. Only if it's...an emergency. And occasionally just as an escape, to take a break. Sometimes my senses just get overloaded from all the stimulus. Up there, it can be so quiet..." Kara's voice dropped off. "But I have to be extremely careful about where and when I do it, obviously."

"Amazing. You really have no idea how amazing you are." Lena said very quietly, almost more to herself than Kara. "Kara. Did you...when I came off the horse...did you..." Lena's voice just stopped.

"Yes. You were in so much pain and...I couldn't tell how serious it was. When you passed out I..." Now it was Kara's turn to drop out, worried about how Lena would take this news.

"Well, that explains how you got me back so fast. Or at all, without a horse. I just can't believe..." Lena stopped, seemingly at a complete loss for words. "I can't believe I flew with you and...slept through it!"

"Actually, it was your accident that helped me realize I had to tell you about me...being an alien. It seemed so wrong that I was bringing you back at a snail's pace by horseback, just so that you wouldn't know. I told Alex that night that I had to tell you."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Alex was afraid. She doesn't know you the way I do. She and her parents are very worried that the wrong people will find out, and take me away from the family, and it could cause big trouble for Eliza and Jeremiah. Later she finally understood why I needed to tell you and she accepted my decision. She just asked that I wait until after the holiday, so I wouldn't spoil everyone's fun if it went badly...which of course, it did. Well, anyway, you know the rest."

Lena fell quiet and it wasn't long before they reached the lake. Neither attempted to dismount. It was hard enough on Kara being back at the lake with Lena. She didn't want to sit with her on the grass like they used to. She knew it would only make her feel worse, just like it did driving Lena in her truck. Sitting there with her and not being able to touch or kiss her would have been even more painful.

They gazed out at the lake for quite a while from horseback. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lena spoke up. "It's OK, Kara."

"What's OK?" Kara said, waking her out of her daze.

"All of it. It's all OK." Lena said with a sigh. "I understand why you did it. I mean, why you kept your secret from me. My getting upset, well, it was also a lot to do with me."

"What do you mean, it had a lot to do with you?"

"I mean...maybe I was always looking for a way out and you finally gave it to me."

"A way out? Why were you looking for a way out? A way out of what?" Kara looked confused.

"I just...I wasn't brave enough, Kara. I wasn't strong enough to...let myself be with you."

"I don't understand, Lena."

"It's just that...well, I don't do the love and relationship thing. I tried it once...it was a disaster. Just like every other relationship in my life, eventually I'm let down, or it blows up in my face. I've learned that I can protect myself by avoiding it altogether."

"Avoiding what altogether?"

"Well, caring about someone. Trust. Love. That's not something I do. The thought is... terrifying, actually."

Kara was a bit in shock. She looked at Lena but said nothing.

"I just thought that you and I could just have fun. I could have an escape from the pressures of school and tensions at home, and you could have some fun with someone who doesn't go to your school or live nearby - no strings attached. It just felt like a win-win. You were so beautiful, and strong, but sweet and adorable and hilarious all at the same time. I was so attracted to you, god, it was too hard to resist you."

"But, why was that such a bad thing, being attracted to me?"

"Well, at first it wasn't. It was fun, and new, even dangerous. It's exciting to sneak around. The problem was that, I could see it was becoming more for you. More than physical. I mean, obviously there was a very big physical attraction but, at some point, I got the idea that you were starting to like me...for me."

"Of course I did, Lena! Why would that be surprising? How could anyone spend so much time with you and not like you?"

"You'd be surprised."

"I would be. I think you aren't letting people see the real you. But you did let me. Didn't you?"

"Maybe. I don't know, I did start to trust you. But I knew it wasn't right to...build a relationship. It wasn't right for either of us."

"Why? Why were you so determined not to give us a chance? And why didn't you tell me that?"

"I tried not to mislead you. But I also didn't want to say things to hurt your feelings. I just wanted it to be...what it was."

"And what was it?"

"It was supposed to be a...fling."

"A fling? What the fuck is a fling?"

"It's just...something fun. Not serious, not lasting."

"So...it was never going to be more than sex to you...You used me." Kara said dejectedly. "You could have at least told me that, when you could see I was falling for you. You never said anything about how you felt about me. But the way you acted, the way you looked at me. The way you touched me...I guess I read more into it than there was. I guess I was seeing what I wanted to see."

"God, Kara, you really can be so...oblivious!" Lena said with frustration.

"I'm sorry, it's just...so hard to understand..." Kara stammered and rubbed her eyes with her hands.

"Of course I cared about you! You didn't imagine that. How could I not? It...wasn't just about sex, for me. If I'm being honest, I think I was just telling myself it was so that I could keep seeing you. I created this fantasy scenario where I could be with you, and not feel guilty about what it would do to you. And I didn't acknowledge what I might be doing to myself."

"You mean, you did have feelings for me, but you chose to hide them?" Kara said, exasperated. "How is that so different from me hiding who I truly am?"

"I wasn't hiding my feelings from you Kara. I was...hiding them from myself. I told myself it was about sex, and something new, and no strings... But then, when I found out you were an alien, I felt so betrayed. My fake narrative about keeping it casual totally blew up in my face."

"What? How...I don't understand." Kara said.

"Think about it, Kara. Why should I get so upset about you not telling me, unless I did have feelings for you? That realization scared the shit out of me! It forced me to face my feelings and I didn't like it one bit. So...I used it as an excuse to jettison out of a situation that I'd clearly lost control of. I was furious with you, but also furious with myself for letting things get so out of hand. I just didn't realize how bad it was. There was so much I was letting myself ignore, my own feelings, things about you that didn't add up. I wasn't letting myself think about it, because I didn't...want to stop. I just wanted us to enjoy our time together. It was so short anyway."

"But why...wouldn't you just talk to me about it? Why did you refuse to have anything to do with me? We could have worked through it together!" Kara said, angrily.

"I know it may be hard to understand or believe. But I really thought it was the right thing to do. Not just for me, but for you too! It was the easiest way out - for both of us. It was a way to make a clean break."

"But why? Why was it so terrible for me to have feelings for you? Why was it so terrible for you to have feelings for me? Why did we need to make a clean break? It doesn't make any sense..."

"What's the point, Kara? It was just...never going to work. We don't live in that kind of world."

"It won't ever work, why? Because I'm a poor ranch hand and you're a beautiful, brilliant...brat!" Kara could feel herself getting angrier.

"Nice alliteration, Kara. But no, that's not it at all." Lena took a deep breath. "It's because you are a perfect, good-hearted, passionate being, who deserves much better than me." Lena said sadly. "You don't understand that right now because, you're so...naive. You think I'm special. It's true I've made you feel things that you've never felt before. But the truth is...that was just me being selfish."

"How can you say that? Why was it selfish for you to make me feel good? To experience new things...you wanted to teach me things...things that I wanted to learn. All I wanted was...to be with you. Why do I have to pay so dearly for that?"

"You can't understand this right now, Kara, but it's pay now or pay later. It's better now than later."

"You never let me know how you felt. I tried to be honest, as much as I could and still protect my family. But you, you tried not to be honest!"

"Kara, it really wasn't a conscious decision. I didn't...I didn't understand or accept my own feelings. When I figured it out, I made a decision to protect both of us."

"Protect us... from what?"

"From...eventual heart break!"

"That is such a cop out, Lena! If you never do anything that might hurt, or fail, then you'll never do anything! How do you expect to change the world if you are so afraid of...of...failure."

"Failing with an experiment, or research is not the same as failing with...your heart. It's not the same at all."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"Kara, think about it. Think how things would be, after I go back. We can text, we can call. Maybe a school vacation here and there I would be able to come to Midvale. How long do you think it would be before someone would find out? Someone in my family? It's just a matter of time, and probably not very much time before they happen to discover a call, or a text, or just find us together! For fuck sake, Kara, my father almost caught us last week."

"So what? What can they really do?"

"What can they really do? Kara, I know you're from another planet, but surely you can see that my parents...have a lot of power."

"I'm not afraid of your parents, Lena."

"Well, you should be. And I don't just mean that they could separate us, which they can easily do. I mean they could be dangerous to you, to your family. What about Eliza and Jeremiah? Where do they get their money for research? Government? Private donations? It doesn't matter. Chances are, Lillian can reach those organizations. And who is that Alex and your family is so afraid of discovering you? What if my parents found out you are an alien? You can bet they are connected to those people, or could find people who you really don't want to know. You have no idea what they're capable of! Believe me, that last thing you need is Luthors scrutinizing you and your family!"

"Lena, don't try to pretend this is about protecting me."

"Kara, there are many things that I have to think about. And now that I know...well, protecting you has to be at the top of the list. I know you don't believe me. But there are a lot of dangerous people out there. People who feel threatened by you. The truth is, you are a phenomenon, Kara. And I won't let me family become a force that could hurt you. I just...couldn't live with myself. I'm so... not worth it. Believe me." 

"You are worth it, Lena. I don't know how you can't see that. I'm not...I'm not afraid. Together we can handle whatever comes our way." 

"God you are so naive! It's endearing, to a point, but past that point it's...maddening. Kara, I'm sorry. I've seen a lot more of the world and, it doesn't give a lot of space for people, or beings, who are very different. Believe me, I am saving you from so much heart break or worse in the long run." 

"How do you know that? And anyway, you sure as hell didn't save me from any heart break. I can't imagine it could be any worse than this! You were only protecting yourself."

"But it really can be worse. The more time goes on, the more feelings develop...the worse it would be. We just have to rip off that band-aid."

"Really, Lena? By now you surely understand my ignorance about ridiculous American phrases!"

"I just mean, when you take a band-aid off fast, the pain is over with quickly. The more time we spend together, the more our lives become intertwined, the more attached we get, then...the more painful when it ends. Which it always will."

"God damnit, Lena, I can't believe you're relegating our time together to, to a band-aid metaphor! Just getting it over with?"

"Kara. How do you think it would work, exactly, for us to continue, to stay together after I go back to school? This isn't the right time in your life for a long distance relationship. This is the time you should be exploring, not pining away for some boarding school brat, as you've said yourself."

"And it's the right time for you to get back to school so you can fuck whoever you want, whenever you want!" Kara surprised even herself with that one. She realized she was now just lashing out. But she couldn't let it go.

"So, I don't get to have any decision in what's best for me? You just get to keep all the cards, and make all the calls, and just leave me out of it? How can you be so sure it could never work? How can you really know if you never try?" Kara yelled.

"Talking about feelings, a relationship, it would only make things more painful in the long run. It won't change the reality that this will never work. It would have been so much better to just keep things...friendly. I shouldn't have said anythiing, I should have stuck to my plan. Now it's an even more complicated mess."

"Life is messy, Lena! You can't just hide yourself away from pain."

"Listen, Kara, I know all about pain. Enough to know not to do stupid things that are obviously only going to bring more of it. Don't you dare try to tell me about pain!"

Kara's face was a mask of shock and anger. She was speechless.

"I'm sorry, Kara. I know...I know you lost so much...in the blink of an eye. I just...I'm sorry."

"Forget it. It...really doesn't matter anymore."

"This is for the best, Kara. Someday you'll see that."

"Do me one favor, when you dump me at least don't try to tell me it's for my own benefit! Just admit that I'm not good enough for you, and that's why it would never work." Kara said with resignation, like all the fight had left her.

"It's not true, Kara. You are literally the best...person I've ever known. You have the biggest heart, you always want to help others, you treat me with respect and genuinely care about me. Even your family...I, I expected them to judge me and be against you spending time with me. But they were so welcoming. I just, I wanted to be near you, too. And as time went on I guess I got scared. You just made it so fucking hard not to fall for you! I was fooling myself."

"So you took the easy way out, pushed me away and let me blame it all on myself."

"I didn't plan that! Obviously I didn't know you were an alien. And I was really hurt to find out that way, so I lashed out. As I read your letters and thought about it more, I was able to start letting go of that hurt, to forgive. But by then I could see that staying apart was best for both of us."

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"I don't know! I don't know...being here with you at the lake...seeing you still so broken-hearted. Kara, your eyes...it's like I can see everything you're thinking. It's so hard seeing you in pain, and whether you believe that or not, it's the truth. And you've always had a way of making me do things against my better judgement, whether you mean to or not."

"Well, sorry, but your judgement sucks!"

"Ha!" Lena looked at her with surprise. "Maybe you're right. But I really was doing it for both of us. I'm going back to school, you would be here waiting for, who knows how long? Missing out on so much, waiting around for me."

"I would have missed out on anything to be with you. None of it would have mattered. You didn't even give me a choice."

"Because you would have chosen wrong! You would have chosen me. And believe me...I'm not worth it. Don't you see that? Surely during this last week you could see how awful I can be. Letting it end because of your secret would have been the simplest, the kindest way forward for us to move on."

"I'll never believe that, Lena. But I do believe that if you are so convinced, there is nothing I can say. I... would have done anything for you, anything to make it work. I realize now that I was just a fool, willing to give up anything to be with you when you're not willing to risk anything for me."

"Now do you see, Kara? I'm really not worth. I know you're angry now. Someday you'll look back and you'll see how right I was."

"Fine. You're right, Lena. You've convinced me. You're exactly right. I'm just a silly alien who thinks she's in love with a human, while you are the wise high school student, so experienced in the ways of the world. You have it all figured out. You certainly don't need to talk to me about it.”

Kara finally looked over at Lena and could see tears on her cheeks. She couldn't help but climb down and go over to her. As angry as she was, it was still so hard to see Lena in pain.

She stopped beside her horse, wanting to reach out to her, but knowing she shouldn't. She just looked up at Lena. She seemed so high above her in the saddle, so unreachable.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I don't want to hurt you. But you're not giving us a chance and that's a mistake. Won't you please, please just give us a chance?"

Lena reached down and wiped Kara's cheek. Kara hadn't realized how wet they were until Lena touched her. Kara couldn't reach her, so she laid her cheek down on Lena's leg. Lena stroked her hair.

"I wish I could help you realize how amazing you are. You really have no idea. So many people would give their right arm to be with someone like you. Wait, strike that. They would give up a lot of important, valuable things to be with you. You...deserve so much better, Kara."

"There's no one better for me." Kara said, sadly as Lena continued stroking her hair.

"Lena, please. Please let us try..."

"It's never going to work, Kara. Just... you have to let us go."

"Are you sure that's really what you want? I'm not going to pull the stalker routine this time." Kara said, still resting against her leg and not looking at her. "You really want us to be over? Even though you do have feelings for me? Even though you've forgiven me? Even though I'm still in love with you? Lena, if you tell me that's what you want I'm not going to call, I'm not going to come over. I'm going to believe you."

"That's what I want." Lena said with finality, though she was clearly holding back a sob.

Kara lifted her head to look Lena in the eye, then looked over the lake. "OK, Lena. You get your way, as always." She took Lena's hand and held it to her lips for a moment before kissing it. Then she dropped her hand and went back to her horse, wiping her tears and quickly climbing into the saddle.

"We should get back." Kara said and when Lena didn't respond she turned her horse around and headed slowly back down the trail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to so many readers who gave feedback about direction of the story! There's a lot of support for a time jump, so I've decided to go for it. It's really motivating to hear people are interested in continuing it. And thanks for all the ideas about how it do it. I'm still working that out, but still have some chapters to go in the 'present'. One reader suggested doing a Lena POV chapter so we could see how she's feeling. I loved that idea, but decided to stick with Kara's POV in this chapter, but finally hearing a lot from Lena about how she's feeling. But I am going to switch Alex's POV for at least for part of the next chapter, because I want to find out what happens on her hike with Sam. So thanks for the idea of getting out of Kara's head for a while - this will be fun, so tune in next week!


	30. Pullin' Back the Reins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: this chapter is from Alex's point-of-view. Kara POV will return next week.

When Alex and Sam arrived at the state park for their hike, they'd already covered some basic first date questions. The usual data about families, interests, music, politics. _Not that we're on a date! _Alex reminded herself. She was just showing hospitality to her sister's ex not-girlfriend's bestie. Who just happened to be the most beautiful, exciting woman ever to come to Midvale.__

__"So, how did you and Lena meet?" Alex asked as they headed out from the parking lot._ _

__"Oh god...well. There was a party...which I don't remember much of...except that I woke up with my face...You know what? It's probably better to spare you that mental image. Let's just say, we became very close, very quickly. It was a bit like a collision of two stars. There was a lot of light, quite blinding there for a while...but...we burned out fast. The heat was just...too intense. We tried to stay away from each other but...it didn't work. Before long we were spending too much time together again, but we'd realized we were better as friends."_ _

__"Wow." Alex said, a bit amazed at her story._ _

__"Well, as you might imagine, nothing is easy with Lena."_ _

__"Um, right. No need for imagination there. I'm living it every day!"_ _

__"Yikes, has there been a lot of drama?"_ _

__"What...did she tell you?" Alex was suddenly nervous to think how much Lena knew about Kara and what she might have told Sam._ _

__"Well, she didn't give me a lot of details. She just seemed really down, suddenly. I kept hearing about this fabulous time she was having with a beautiful ranch hand, and then from one day to the next I wasn't even allowed to ask questions about it. I've not really seen her get this upset about a relationship, since well, us, I guess. She says she doesn't really 'do' relationships anymore. She claims she needs to focus on school and her future. She is so ambitious, she has big dreams and, well, with the way her family is, it's not surprising she's wary of love."_ _

__"Yes, Kara has told me quite a bit about Lena's family. Sounds pretty awful."_ _

__"Yeah...So, what about your family?" Sam asked._ _

__"Oh, they're, wonderful, actually. I mean, my parents are both very busy, but they always make time for us. I know that we are their top priority. Kara has only been with us since the summer, but she's already very much a part of us."_ _

__"Right, Lena told me Kara was pretty recently adopted. That's unusual at her age, isn't it?"_ _

__"I suppose. But she is an...extraordinary person."_ _

__"Well, I can see that. She's certainly made quite an impression on Lena. And she's not easily impressed, to put it mildly."_ _

__"Yes, well, Lena has made quite an impression on Kara as well."_ _

__"Anyway, enough about those dorks. I want to know more about you. Do you have anyone...significant, in your life?"_ _

__"Ha! Well, not at the moment. I'm just getting out of kind of a bad situation, actually."_ _

__"Oh? I'm sorry..."_ _

__"Yeah, um, she was...my first and she was...in the closet. Her parents are very religious, and when they found out the shit really hit the fan. When it came down to it she wasn't willing to stand up to her parents for us. We broke up and I...haven't really been interested in anyone else since. That is, well, until...today." She added quickly and then looked down and away from Sam, feeling embarrassed about showing her feelings so quickly to a stranger._ _

__"Hey." Sam reached under Alex's chin and turned her head so she could look her in the eye. "I feel it too, Alex."_ _

__Alex smiled broadly at Sam. She took her hand and and pulled her towards the trail._ _

__"Come on, we better get going if we want to do the full loop trail." She said. "The days are still short and we don't want to lose the light."_ _

__"No, we don't want that." Sam said in a teasing voice. "Lead on. The view's much better from back here."_ _

__"You're bad...I like that!" She said with a laugh and headed down the trail._ _

__After hiking for a while Alex couldn't resist her curiousity about Sam's relationship status. "So, what about you?_ _

__"What about me?"_ _

__"Do you have anyone...significant, in your life?"_ _

__"No. But I do have a lot of insignificants." Sam said with a chuckle. "I guess Lena and I are alike in that way."_ _

__"Hmmm, that sounds...interesting."_ _

__"Yes. It's definitely interesting and it can be a lot of fun. But also not great, at times."_ _

__"You're the life of the party, aren't you?"_ _

__"I can be if I want to be."_ _

__"I bet." Alex said with a laugh. "Wish I could see that."_ _

__"Hmm...me too." Sam said. "I bet you'd be very good at making sure a girl got home safely."_ _

__Alex's heart raced at the thought of being responsible for Sam if she needed someone to look out for her. "You can bet I would." Alex said with confidence._ _

__"Too bad you live so far from Wicklow. Or, maybe it's too bad Wicklow is so far from you."_ _

__"Either way you look at it, it's a damn long distance."_ _

__"Yeah." Sam said softly. They got quiet until they came around the corner to see a beautiful vista of the ocean. They stopped when they got to an overlook to look at the ocean._ _

__"Wow!" Sam said sounding geniunely impressed. "Well, I can see why you love it here."_ _

__"Yeah. There's no place like home." Alex said thoughtfully. "But I won't be here forever."_ _

__"No, I'm sure you won't. This town seems too small for you." Sam said. "What do you want to do after high school?"_ _

__"I don't know...change the world?" Alex laughed. "But probably I'll just go to college."_ _

__"What do you want to study?"_ _

__"Medicine, I think. Or maybe go into medical research. I really do want to be able to help people."_ _

__"Hmmm, so you'll be in school for a long time." Sam observed. "Do you know where you want to go?"_ _

__"Well, I love the west coast. Right now Stanford is my top choice."_ _

__"Wow. You've got the grades for Stanford, huh?" Same said, sounding impressed._ _

__"Damn straight." Alex said with pride._ _

__"Well, you're not THAT straight...are you?"_ _

__"Come a little closer and I'll show you how straight I am." Alex grabbed Sam's hand and pulled her close. They moved together slowly, their lips moving steadily closer until they suddenly heard people coming around the corner. Alex and Sam froze, inches away from touching, as couple and their dog stopped at the overlook and began exclaiming about the view. Sam and Alex looked at each other and smiled, then headed on down the trail._ _

__"So, um...there's something I need to get out of the way. Kara will never forgive me if I don't try to grill you about Lena."_ _

__Sam laughed. "Ha, give it your best shot!"_ _

__"Well, I don't know how much you know about the two of them."_ _

__"Actually, she's been strangely secretive. She won't really tell me what happened. Over the break I kept hearing about how much fun she was having with this Christmas...fling..." Sam stopped, realizing what she had just said. "Sorry..."_ _

__"It's OK. I want to know how she really feels. If that's even possible."_ _

__"Well, I got the impression that they spent a lot of time together, and...well, that Kara was inexperienced but...a quick learner. Shit, I don't know if I can talk about this with her sister. Can we focus on some things that are less...intimate?"_ _

__"Yes, please! I really don't want to know about anything...physical. I just...wonder what is going in Lena's head."_ _

__"I don't know. She was definitely enthusiastic about the physical part, and she made it sound like that's what it was about. But the truth is...I've never seen her like this before."_ _

__"What do you mean?"_ _

__"Well, it's just that usually she is all about the good time. She doesn't let herself get...involved. I've just never seen her really interested in anything serious. Usually she wants to have fun and not be tied down."_ _

__"Never? She's never...been in a relationship, aside from sex?"_ _

__"Well, I guess she fell pretty hard for someone during her freshman year. That was before I transferred in and she doesn't say much about it. I've picked a few things here and there, that didn't work out and since then...well, these days she's always looking for the next new thing. She doesn't stay with anyone too long. That's actually why I came here. I've just never seen her so...well, devastated. I don't know what happened, but she really isn't herself. And she won't say much about it. And she's trying to tell me it's nothing."_ _

__"Wow, that person from her freshman year must have really done a number on her."_ _

__"I don't think it was just that. Her family, they're the ones that have really done a number on her. They're just...very dismissive and not very supportive or interested in her."_ _

__"I can't imagine. That would be really tough not to have a supportive family. That's one thing I could always count on."_ _

__"Not me."_ _

__"Oh? Why not?"_ _

__"Well, it was always just my mom and me. She always seemed so overwhelmed and...bitter. She had it pretty hard and not a very good end with my father, I think. She won't really talk about it. Anyway, when I won a scholarship to Wicklow Academy, well, I think she was really relieved to get me off her hands."_ _

__"I'm sorry. That sounds really tough."_ _

__"I don't know. I'm getting a great education. And the truth is, I was bored to tears in my home town. The Academy opened a whole new world for me."_ _

__"Well, I guess it worked out for the best?"_ _

__"I think so. And it's been a great help having Lena as a friend. We have such weird families. It's almost like we're orphans in our own families. We really understand each other, and I think it's because we've both have difficult family situations."_ _

__"It's great that you have each other. I feel the same way about Kara. She is...something else."_ _

__"How did it happen that she was adopted into your family so late?"_ _

__"Um...that's really her story to tell." Alex said. "Besides, I'd rather hear more about you. What is your big plan after graduation? Do you have it all figured out?"_ _

__"I guess you could say that. I'm going to get an M.B.A. at Harvard and then become the youngest Chief Operating Officer in a Fortune 500 company."_ _

__"Oh, is that all? Well, glad you've got it all sorted!" Alex laughed._ _

__"Just you wait. I'm going to show everyone."_ _

__Alex pictured Sam as a COO. "I can definitely imagine that."_ _

__"Damn straight!" Sam said and they both laughed._ _

__***_ _

__It was starting to get dark as Sam drove Alex home after their hike. They sat in her driveway exchanging numbers._ _

__"So, when do you think you'll leave town?" Alex asked, attempting to sound nonchalant._ _

__"Well, the plan was to leave tomorrow, but, maybe I can stall us out a day or so." Sam said with a smile. "I am the driver after all."_ _

__"If you do convince Lena to stay, I'm sure I can find ways to entertain you." Alex said with a sly grin._ _

__"Ha! I have no doubt..." Sam said with a laugh. "Thanks for a great hike today. That was beautiful. And great company..." Sam slid her hand across the console to cover Alex's hand where it rested on her thigh._ _

__"Anytime..." Alex smiled, and started to say something else when suddenly Sam reached behind her neck and pulled her in for a big smack on the lips then pulled back._ _

__"Sorry! I couldn't wait any longer. Who knows, if we leave tomorrow I may not get to see you..." Sam said apologetically._ _

__"In that case, we better make it count." Alex then moved her hand behind Sam's neck and pulled her closer. Alex kissed her lightly once, then more deeply. She teased her lips with kisses until she could feel Sam's mouth easing open. She eased her tongue inside, loving the feeling of their tongues sliding together. Sam slid her hands behind Alex's back and pulled her closer. Alex tried to manuever around the console to get closer. She didn't feel like she could get close enough. She wanted to feel Sam's body against hers._ _

__"God, I've been wanting to do that since I laid eyes on you." Sam said when they came up for a breath._ _

__"Me too." Alex said with a smile. "I feel bad, I let Kara go talk to Lena in the restaurant against my better judgement, just because I couldn't resist the chance to come over and meet you."_ _

__"Well, maybe it will do some good. They could use some time to talk."_ _

__"OK, stop talking now." Alex said as she slid her hand under Sam's jaw and pulled in for another deep kiss. Sam dove back in to their kiss when suddenly the porch light came on._ _

__"Oh shit!" Alex said jumping back. "I better get going." She grabbed the door handle but hesitated for a moment. "Text me later?"_ _

__"Count on it." Sam grinned._ _

__***_ _

__Late that night Alex received a text._ _

__Sam: So, what did your sister do to Lena?_ _

__Alex: What do you mean?_ _

__Sam: I think she broke her. Now she's even worse. She's super irritated and cranky. I left her room and when I came to check on her she was sobbing into her pillow. This is not the Lena I know. And she won't tell me what happened. What did Kara say?_ _

__Alex: She's not back yet! I haven't heard from her._ _

__Sam: I'm sure she's fine._ _

__Alex: I'll let you know if I find out anything._ _

__Sam: Thanks. Not really sure how to help._ _

__Alex: Are you going to sleep now?_ _

__Sam: I'm going to try. I keep having these flashes of kissing this beautiful girl and it's...keeping me awake._ _

__Alex: Oh, really?_ _

__Sam: Yes, really!_ _

__Alex: Hmm, wish I could help._ _

__Sam: Me too. Wish you were here..._ _

__Alex: Damnit! Now I'm going to have trouble sleeping. Thinking about what I might do if I was there..._ _

__Sam: Ha! Turns out you're the one that's bad..._ _

__Alex: Oh, you have no idea!_ _

__Sam: Maybe someday I'll have an idea. If I'm lucky._ _

__Alex: Yeah. Something tells me you usually do get lucky!_ _

__Sam: God! You're making me crazy. Not helping my sleep situation at all._ _

__Alex: Sorry. Anything I can do to help?_ _

__Sam: Maybe. Can you call me?_ _

__A moment later Sam heard her phone was ringing._ _

__"Hi." Sam said tentatively._ _

__"Hi."_ _

__"That was fast."_ _

__"I can be pretty fast when I want to be."_ _

__"Damn you, Alex! You're supposed to be helping me get to sleep."_ _

__"Sorry. Tell me what I can do."_ _

__"Can you please stop saying such suggestive things? And quit using that sexy voice!"_ _

__"What sexy voice?"_ _

__"You know what I mean."_ _

__"I can't help it. This is just my voice."_ _

__"OK, fine. You can't help but be sexy."_ _

__"Not when I'm talking to you. You make me...want to do bad things."_ _

__"Mmmm. I like the sound of that."_ _

__"So, where is Lena right now?"_ _

__"She's in her room. She's just down the hall. We're both in the family wing."_ _

__"Wow. So the house has 'wings'?"_ _

__"Yep. So you've never seen it?"_ _

__"I've seen it from a distance, but never been inside."_ _

__"Well, it's something to see."_ _

__"Not likely. But Kara has seen it. At least one of the rooms..."_ _

__"Yeah, so I've heard. So Kara's still not back?"_ _

__"No. She sometimes stays out late. Usually it's when she's with Lena though. Are you sure she didn't sneak in over there?"_ _

__"I don't think so. I just went to peak in and she still had her head buried in her pillow. I wasn't sure if I should go in. I know she wouldn't want anyone to see her cry. I definitely didn't get the impression Kara was hiding nearby."_ _

__"I'm sure she'll be home soon, nothing to worry about." Alex said. "I'll keep you company if you'd like."_ _

__"I'd like that quite a bit."_ _

__"Well, in that case..." Alex said with a smile in her voice._ _

__Just then the door opened and Kara snuck in._ _

__"Hey. She's here. I better go." Alex said._ _

__"OK. Sleep well."_ _

__"You too. Talk tomorrow?" Alex asked hopefully._ _

__"Definitely."_ _

__Kara flopped down on her bed and covered her face._ _

__"OK, lay it on me. Sam said Lena is equally dismayed back at the mansion. I guess it didn't go very well?"_ _

__"I don't know. In some ways I feel better and some ways worse. I don't...even know what to feel or believe anymore." Alex could heare the tears in her voice._ _

__"Where did you go? Lena's been back for a while."_ _

__"I went...flying." Kara spit out reluctantly. "Don't worry, I was very careful and waited until after dark. It's just that, Lena reminded me of how amazing it is to be able to fly. It's the one place I can find peace. And I just...really needed that."_ _

__"What happened?"_ _

__"Well, it turns out Lena has forgiven me. And she cares about me. And...we can't be together."_ _

__"Huh?"_ _

__"I guess when I told her I was an alien it...forced her to confront her feelings. She'd been telling herself that I was just a...'fling' and trying to keep me at a distance. She just wasn't telling me that, I guess because she was having a good time. Then...she was so furious that I hadn't told her the truth, it forced her realize she does have feelings for me. Or did. She realized she wouldn't be upset about it if she didn't care about me. And she says she worked through it, got over it. She understands why I didn't tell her and she's not really angry about it anymore. But she...doesn't want us to be together. So she let me believe that it was all my fault. She let me suffer because she wanted an easy way out."_ _

__"I'm so sorry, Kara. Seeing you together, I could tell she cared about you. But I guess it wasn't enough."_ _

__"Yeah. She wants a 'clean break' and 'ripping the band-aid off', not some messy long-distance relationship with a freak like me. I would have given anything to make it work with her. But she...really just can't be bothered. She's not willing to risk or give up anything. She doesn't trust that we could make it work and she's won't even try. And to make it worse she's saying she's doing it to protect me."_ _

__"Protect you from heart break?"_ _

__"Yes. But also...she believes that if her parents find out they might...try to hurt me, or hurt Eliza and Jeremiah. And if they found out I was an alien, well, she believes they might try to let the wrong people know about me. Her brother...well, he's pretty deep into an anti-alien group."_ _

__"Kara, I know you may not want to hear this, but she's not wrong to be considering those possibilities. You probably don't know much about the Luthors, but they are very powerful and a bit notorious."_ _

__"Notorious? For what?"_ _

__"For...getting what they want! What if they didn't want their daughter hanging out with you? From what you've said they weren't happy when she spent too much time with a ranch hand a while back."_ _

__Kara remained quiet._ _

__"Kara, I know you're hurting right now. The way Lena has handled this was terrible. Refusing to talk or see you was totally unfair, especially after she realized how she was feeling. Cutting you off like that was way out of line. But her concerns about protecting you, that makes sense to me. I'm glad to know she realizes how serious it would be for someone else to find out about you."_ _

__"Alex. How could she? How could she just let me go on feeling like I was the lowest scum on earth, especially after she could see why I did what I did? She was fine with me suffering as long as she got to skate away without any hard talks."_ _

__"Maybe she thought that was easier on you too. Think about it Kara. Do you feel better now, knowing she cares about you but you still can't be with her?"_ _

__"I don't know. Part of me does feel better. But the other part of me wants to fly over to her house and try to convince her to try. Honestly, I really had given up on that. And that was getting me at least in the same dimension with thinking about letting go. Knowing she cares, that she's forgiven me, well, it only made me hopeful again, briefly. Even so, she really should have told me."_ _

__"You're totally right, Kara. Just...consider that she maybe she wasn't doing it only for herself. She may have really been trying to do what was best for you. Apparently she is crying herself to sleep tonight. So, this really is something that is difficult for her, too. Just keep that in mind."_ _

__"It's just, the whole time I felt so guilty for hiding, she was hiding too."_ _

__"Kara, she may not have really understood, or wanted to believe her feelings."_ _

__"So she claims. The thing is, it doesn't really matter. So what if she cares about me if she isn't willing to try? Isn't willing to make any sacrifices for us to be together? That doesn't...mean anything at all."_ _

__"Well, who knows what is going on in her mind. According to Sam she has been really broken up about the whole thing. She says she's never seen her this way."_ _

__"It doesn't matter, Alex. She doesn't want me. I begged her to give us a chance. And she said she wants it to be over. I have to respect that."_ _

__"Yes, you do. I'm so sorry Kara. If that's what she's telling you, you have to let her go."_ _

__"So...tell me something good so I can stop obsessing over this." Kara said with a sigh. "Tell me about your date...I mean, hike."_ _

__"Kara!" Alex said, unable to stop her smile._ _

__"Spill, Alex! I want a hear about something fun. And by the look on your face I'd say you have a good story to tell."_ _

__"OK! Jeez, so bossy." Alex tried to sound annoyed, but she couldn't help but smile as she filled Kara in on her afternoon._ _

__"Wow, I'm really happy for you, Alex. Sounds like a lot of fun."_ _

__"It really was. Of course she may be leaving tomorrow, but it was a great day. Knocked me out of the doldrums I've been in for a while now."_ _

__"You really deserve someone who realizes how fantastic you are. And who doesn't want you to hide."_ _

__"You do too, Kara. And you know what? Someday I know both of us will have that. It just may not be anytime soon..."_ _

__"But until then, we've always got each other." Kara said thoughtfully._ _

__"Damn straight!" Alex said with a laugh._ _

__***_ _

__Alex woke up with to her cell phone vibrating with a message. She looked around and saw that Kara was already long gone. She looked at her phone and smiled to see a message from Sam._ _

__Sam: Good morning, sunshine! So Lena's given me a reprive in Midvale. She highly recommends horse riding. Know anyone who could hook me up?"_ _

__Alex giggled, unable to contain her excitement._ _

__Alex: I might know someone..._ _

__A couple of hours later they were at the ranch and Kara was outfitting them. Cisco was only too happy to have them go out on the horses. The holiday had been especially slow given the lack of Luthors riding. They were able to keep a schedule of rotating riding of the horses, but with all the staff on short hours it took careful planning to make sure they were all getting out on a regular basis._ _

__"So, Sam, how much riding experience do you have?"_ _

__"Um...not so much. I went a few times when I was growing up but it's been a long time."_ _

__"No worries. I'll set you up on Abuelito. He's a good old boy. Very calm and...well, old. He won't give you any trouble."_ _

__"Good. I don't like any trouble from boys. Only from..."_ _

__"Sam! You are bad! Remember, my sister is impressionable." Alex said, laughing._ _

__"Well, she's been hanging with Lena, so I'd say she's been pressioned quite a bit."_ _

__"Oh my god, you are the worst!" Alex groaned._ _

__"And you're the best." Sam said impishly and squeezed her hand. "That's why were so good together."_ _

__"Ugh, can we please just go. Suddenly I'm feeling a bit nauseous." Kara complained._ _

__"Lead the way, sis." Alex was in high spirits._ _

__"Great. I'm taking you two on an easy trail, which has the added bonus of being one I never went on with Lena."_ _

__"Sounds perfect." Alex said._ _

__Kara rode ahead while Alex and Sam meandered slowly behind, more interested in talking and flirting than covering ground. When they finally reached a nice clearing Kara hopped down and pulled out her blanket to set up a place for a break. Alex had packed a picnic and the three of them sat down after Kara showed them how to secure their horses._ _

__"Thanks, Kara. I really appreciate you doing this. I know you may not feel much like riding today." Alex said as they began snacking._ _

__"It's OK, Alex. It's actually good for me to get out. And I can see you are attempting to bribe me with some of my favorite snacks, which is never a bad idea." Kara said as she continued to stuff her face._ _

__"Yes, eat up, I came prepared!" Alex said with a laugh._ _

__"Wow, you are a really good eater!" Sam exclaimed, a bit amazed at Kara's appetite. The three of them sat quietly eating for a while._ _

__"So. How's Lena?" Kara almost whispered after she'd eaten well over half the food Alex brought._ _

__"Well. She's definitely been better."_ _

__"Alex said she was crying last night."_ _

__"Yes. Quite a bit. What did you say to her, anyway? She seemed distraught, even worse than when I arrived."_ _

__"Well...mostly I just begged her to give us a chance. I did say a couple of things that were out of line maybe, but mostly I just asked her that we try to...try to be together."_ _

__"You...what?" Sam asked increduously._ _

__"I just asked her if we could try to make it work. After she goes back to school."_ _

__"Wow. What changed your mind?" Sam asked._ _

__"Changed my mind about what?" Kara asked._ _

__"About Lena. Why did you change your mind about breaking up with her?"_ _

__"Breaking up with her? I never tried to break up with her! What did she tell you?"_ _

__"Well...she didn't tell me very much at all. I guess I just assumed that...well, she just seemed so down...I just assumed you dumped her."_ _

__Kara gasped, seemingly speechless._ _

__"Sam, Kara didn't break up with Lena. Lena is the one that refused to see or speak to her, at least until we saw you both at the restaurant. I don't understand..."_ _

__"It's just that, well, whenever I talked to her over break she sounded so happy, then after Christmas she suddenly seemed depressed. When I asked her about Kara she wouldn't give me any details. I just assumed Kara dumped her."_ _

__"Sam, why did you think I was quizzing you about Lena yesterday?" Alex asked, amazed._ _

__"I thought Kara was feeling guilty, and you wanted to hear that Lena was doing better so that Kara wouldn't feel so bad about breaking up with her."  
__

____  
Kara still seemed to be speechless. "I would never..." She eventually stammered.  


__"Sam, Lena dumped Kara. Yesterday Kara tried to convince her to try again. Apparently that upset her. She wasn't trying to get back with Kara. And Kara didn't say anything to hurt her."_ _

__"Well...actually..." Kara said quietly._ _

__"What did you say?" Alex asked._ _

__"I, um...well...I called her brat. And I told her she was only worried about protecting herself." Kara said. "I was just lashing out. I was really upset that she wouldn't give us a chance, especially after she told me she did have feelings for me. I was...I was being mean, I just, I was really hurt."_ _

__"Kara, she knows you didn't mean it." Alex said, trying to make her feel better._ _

__"Does she?"_ _

__"Yes, Kara. She's a smart person. She knows you were just lashing out because you love...because...well, because you still care about her and you were in pain."_ _

__They all three sat there a bit stunned to realize they all had the situation wrong._ _

__"Sam. Do you think I should apologize to Lena? I mean...she didn't deserve the way I was treating her. I can see from what you've said that...well, she really is suffering. Maybe she really is doing this because she believes it's best for me."_ _

__"Why would it be best for you?" Sam asked._ _

__"Well, because, um...well, she said this is the right time for me to be exploring how I feel with others. Because I'm such a newbie. I shouldn't be pining and waiting for a 'boarding school brat'. Thoses were her words, not mine."_ _

__"I thought you said you did call her a brat." Sam said._ _

__"Yes. I did, but... that's not...I don't know. I didn't mean it. I hope she knows that." They all got quiet after than._ _

__After a while Same spoke up. "Well, maybe you should tell her. I don't know. I've just never seen her like this. I just wish there was something I could do to help. Maybe if you talked to her..."_ _

__"Kara, I don't think talking to her is the best idea. You told her you wouldn't contact her." Alex interjected._ _

__"I know. And when I told her that I wouldn't call or come over she didn't argue. It seemed like she agreed that was best."_ _

__"Maybe Lena doesn't know what's best. She seems a bit lost right now. Maybe it would help if you told her you didn't mean the mean things you said."_ _

__"The truth is, at the time, I did mean what I said. But I realize now that maybe I misjudged her motives."_ _

__"No offense, Sam, but I think it's better that we leave well enough alone. Kara needs to start letting go, and the more she sees Lena, the longer it will take for that process to begin."_ _

__"Well, you two know way more about the situation than I do. Lena really hasn't told me much. I just wish...I just wish there was a way for me to help my friend stop hurting so much."_ _

__At that Kara got to her feet and started heading off into the woods. "I'll be back." She said as she walked away quickly._ _

__"It's killing Kara to think she hurt Lena. She probably just needs a break to think."_ _

__"I'm sorry, Alex. I really didn't mean to cause trouble. I'm just worried about my friend."_ _

__"It's OK, Sam. You didn't do anything wrong. I totally understand what you're saying. All this time, I didn't realize you didn't know it was Lena who dumped Kara."_ _

__"How would I? She won't tell me anything and she's acting like her best friend just died!"_ _

__"The truth is...I think Lena is breaking up with Kara because she thinks that is what's best for Kara. And Kara thinks it's the worst thing can happen to her. And never the twain shall meet..." Alex said._ _

__"Why? Because Kara is so young?"_ _

__"Partly. It's a complicated story. And not really my story to tell. I'm sorry."_ _

__"It's OK, Alex. I can see you're all dealing with a lot here. I feel like I've stumbled onto something I know nothing about. I want to help, but it may be best for me to just stay out of it."_ _

__"Sam, you're just trying to help your friend. I admire that." Alex reached over and took her hand and pulled it into her lap, caressing it gently. "This isn't the ride I envisioned having with you."_ _

__"Hey, don't worry about it, you need to take care of your sister. And I need to take care of my friend." Sam said, then added with a grin. "Maybe you can make it up to me later."_ _

__"Hmmm...I hope so." Alex said with a sly smile as they heard Kara crashing back towards them through the brush. Alex released Sam's hand as Kara plopped down on the blanket._ _

__"Alex. I want to see Lena. I want to tell her I understand...that I...that I don't think she's a brat, or selfish, or only caring about herself, or wanting to fuck everyone...oh never mind. I just...I said some things I didn't mean. I may never see her again and I don't want to carry this feeling around with me. I want to clear the air. To say good-bye in a way that's not awkward and angry." Kara blurted all that out and then took a deep breath. "OK, so now go ahead and tell me why that is a terrible idea."_ _

__Alex sat quietly for a while. "No, Kara. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to let you make your own decision and not try to interfere."_ _

__"You're not?" Kara said with her mouth dropping open._ _

__"Don't get used to it! It doesn't mean I will never try to interfere again. It's just that...I think I've been mistrusting Lena and maybe you've misjudged her motives. She was very wrong not to talk to you. But ultimately it sounds like she is really suffering because she's trying to do the right thing. It might help her to know that...you understand what she's doing. Even if you don't agree with her decision."_ _

__"Thanks, Alex. I know you just want what is best for me and our family." At that Alex reached over and squeezed her hand._ _

__"I like to hear you say that we're your family." Alex said, smiling._ _

__"Me too." Kara said quietly. "It feels right."_ _

__They sat quietly for a while before Kara spoke up again. "Sam...would you...ask Lena if we can talk before you leave for school? Just to talk through some things and say good-bye? You could tell her that I promise I won't say anything to try to convince her we should...try again. I just want to say good-bye, without the anger and angst and yelling. She...deserves that."_ _

__"Sure. But why don't you just call her?"_ _

__"I promised her I wouldn't call. I don't want her to think I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. And also, I don't think she'll take my call and that...that's going to hurt. I just...it's hard enough as it is. Please, would you? You can tell her I'm not trying to convince her, I just don't want to leave thinking I've hurt her. I was just so angry and hurt...I wasn't really listening to her."_ _

__"Sure, Kara. I'll talk to her and let you know."_ _

__"Thanks. I'd really appreciate it." Kara said, then stood up and smiled. "And now, I think you two can find your own way back. When you turn around just make sure you stay on the main trail and you shouldn't have any problem. I'll be at the barn to help you put up the horses. No rush, I've got plenty of work to do around the ranch."_ _

__"Thanks, sis." Alex said with an understanding smile as Kara headed for her horse._ _

__"Why don't you scoot over here?" Alex said after Kara was out of sight. Sam slid over until their thighs were almost touching._ _

__"You're doing really well considering you haven't been on a horse much. I really enjoyed my view from behind, seeing you in your tight riding pants." Alex grinned. "How is it that you have fancy riding pants if you don't ride?"_ _

__"Oh, I borrowed them from Lena."_ _

__"Ah, that explains why they're too short." Alex said with an evil grin. "Not that I'm complaining, they fit really well where it counts."_ _

__Sam smacked her playfully on the thigh, then took her hand. "So, you saw something you liked?"_ _

__"Damn straight, I did!"_ _

__Sam laughed. "I noticed you look really confident on a horse. You really know what you're doing."_ _

__"I used to ride a lot. I don't do it much anymore. I guess I just got busy with school. I do love it though. And it's been a really great thing for Kara. She is very sensitive to sounds, so a lot of noise and chaos is hard on her. Working on the ranch provides a good escape for her to get some peace. That's how she and Lena met."_ _

__"That part I know. Believe me, I heard a lot about this hot ranch hand in the boots and the cowboy hat! She really is something else in her get up." Sam smiled at Alex. "But I'd rather hear more about you..."_ _

__"Well...at the moment... my heart is beating a mile a minute." Alex admitted._ _

__"Really?" Sam asked. "Maybe I should see for myself..."_ _

__"Maybe you should." Alex said. She moved Sam's hand up and pressed it against her sternum, between her breasts._ _

__"OK, now my heart is going a mile a minute..." Sam chuckled._ _

__"Let me see." Alex slid eased her fingers to Sam's sternum, not pressing to really feel a pulse, but teasing her fingers on that bone above her heart, her palm brushed slightly against Sam's breast. Sam gave a small gasp, then went fisted Alex's shirt to pull her slowly closer. Their lips met with intensity, like they'd both been wanting to do that for a while. Sam nipped against Alex's lower lip until she opened up and Sam moved deeper. Alex moaned as she felt Sam's tongue. Sam started pushing down on the center of Alex's chest to push her back. Alex didn't resist, as she eased slowly down to the blanket Sam followed, keeping their mouths connected. Finally Alex's back hit the ground and Sam let up her assault on her mouth and leaned back._ _

__"God, you feel good..." Sam said, pulling back slightly. "Your mouth just...feels like it was made for me."_ _

__Alex was flat on her back gazing up at Sam, whose lips were rosy and wet from kissing. She eased her hand under her chin and traced Sam's lips with her fingers._ _

__"You make me feel so good, I...wish we had more time. I think we could have a lot of fun together. Maybe more..." Alex said wistfully._ _

__"Well, maybe we should just enjoy the time we do have." Sam suggested._ _

__"Definitely." Alex said, sliding her hand behind Sam's neck and pulling her down for another kiss. Sam lifted her leg over Alex so that she was straddling her hips but held herself well away from contact with Alex's body. Alex moved her hands to Sam's thighs encouragingly. Sam moved her hands down to the sides of Alex's hips._ _

__"You're so sexy, Alex. I love your little hips. You're so...solid." Sam eased her fingers over the skin where Alex's hip bones protruded. "It's like, you're smaller than me, but...I think you could kick my ass." She said with a smile._ _

__"Do you wanna find out?" Alex said with a challenge in her voice._ _

__Sam eased her fingers over Alex's t-shirt, stretched over her lower stomach. "No. I surrender."_ _

__"You're teasing me." Alex said._ _

__"Only because I want you to win..." With that Sam put her hands on either side of Alex's head and leaned into her eager mouth._ _

__"Ahhh...god, you taste so good, Sam." Alex moved her hands from Sam's hips to her ass and started rubbing with purpose._ _

__"I...love your ass. You have no idea what you look like on a saddle from behind. It's just...I don't have words." Alex said gasping for breath._ _

__"Then just be quiet." With that Sam started easing her tongue more intently into Alex's mouth as she moaned her approval._ _

__"Fuck, Sam, I feel like I could never get enough of tasting you." Alex licked into her mouth like she was thirsty for something that only Sam could give her._ _

__Sam leaned forward again. She slid her hands up along Alex's arms and wrists, easing them back until she had Alex's hands trapped against the blanket, with her hands held above her head. Alex started to writhe, clearly wanting to feel friction against her core._ _

__"Don't tease me, Sam." Alex said with her hands trapped near her head. At that Sam moved her core lower, into close contact with Alex._ _

__"Sorry. I don't want to make you wait for anything." Sam whispered into her ear. "I just...are you sure this is what you want? I mean, chances are I'm leaving tomorrow and..."_ _

__"I know. If we had more time I'd take you out on 20 dates and be the perfect gentleman. But I don't have time and I really...I just really want you. I'm so attracted to you. But you're right, we're going way too fast. Let's just...what if we promise to keep out clothes on? Can we keep kissing and..."_ _

__"Yes, we can keep kissing." Sam said as she quickly covered Sam's mouth with her own. They both now were open to each other, mouths searching and licking deeply. Sam released Alex's arms so that she could lower her body to cover Alex's. She eased herself down until her breasts were grazing Alex's, and Sam moved to kiss down the side of her face to her ears, where she licked the edge and bit her ear lobe, then moved her lips down the side of her neck. Alex began to writhe again, moving her hips against Sam's center._ _

__"Ahhh!" Sam gasped at the feeling of Alex canting her hips. "Clothes or no clothes, if you keep doing that I'm going to cum."_ _

__"God, I really want to see that." Alex eased her fingers over Sam's stretchy riding pants, between her legs to feel the heat of her pussy. She could feel Sam was wet, even through her pants. She began to press and rub at her clit. Even through the riding pants, Sam was reacting strongly. She began to writhe and push against Alex's fingers._ _

__"Oh, fuck, don't stop that, Alex. Oh yes." Sam was breathing heavily and moving her hips faster._ _

__Alex could tell Sam was close as she started moving erratically. "Cum for me, Sam." Alex whispered as she continued to rub her with one hand while squeezing and moving her ass steadily with the other._ _

__"Yes, oh Alex, yes, I'm cuming!" Alex watched wide-eyed as Sam's eyes closed and her mouth dropped open. Her head rolled back as her hips continued to jerk as she rode out her orgasm. As she came down she dropped forward to rest on Alex's chest._ _

__"Oh my god, that was good." She said into Alex's neck as she caught her breath. "You're really good at that."_ _

__"Well, I may not have boarding school experience, but I do what I can." Alex said with a laugh._ _

__"You are terrible. And if I wasn't boneless I would make you pay for that comment." Sam said with a laugh. Alex was running her hands up and down Sam's back when she heard her phone ring. Sam sat up and looked over at it on the blanket._ _

__"It's Kara." She said._ _

__"I better grab it." Alex said as she reached for it. Sam continued to straddle her and smile lazily down at Alex as she answered. Alex talked to Kara briefly as her face started to look serious. Eventually she hung up with Kara and started to sit up, shifting Sam into her lap._ _

__"I really hate to do this, but, we've got to get going."_ _

__"What? No, I...don't want to leave you hanging." Sam said, refusing to budge from her spot._ _

__"I'm sorry, we really do have to go. Lionel and Lex are coming our way. Kara said they arrived after she got back and decided to come down the same trail. I guess Lex doesn't ride much anymore so they probably wanted to take the easy trail."_ _

__"Yikes. OK, we better move it!" Sam said, but first leaned down to give Alex a quick kiss. "Maybe next time."_ _

__"I only hope there is a next time." Alex said as Sam gave her a hand up. They gathered the blanket and long forgotten picnic items and loaded them into Alex's saddle bag. Then Alex gave Sam a leg up on to her horse._ _

__"You really are the perfect gentleman." Sam laughed as Alex blushed. Alex rubbed her hand along Sam's thigh and around to her ass for a squeeze._ _

__"Still think I'm a gentleman?" She laughed._ _

__"Well...you are perfect, anyway." Sam said as Alex blushed._ _

__"Let's get out of here before the Luthor invasion." Alex said as she hopped into her saddle._ _

__They passed Lionel and Lex on the trail on their way back. They all stopped for a few moments to talk about the trail before the pairs resumed moving in opposite directions._ _

__When they got back to the ranch Kara greeted them at the corral._ _

__"How was your ride?" She asked._ _

__"Well, my ride was amazing! Alex is a really good...guide." Sam said in a suggestive voice._ _

__"Please! No details!" Kara said, covering her ears as Sam and Alex cracked up. Alex invited Sam to come over to lunch but she said she wanted to check in on Lena._ _

__"Don't worry, Kara, I'll talk to her and see if she'll meet you, or at least call you on the phone." Sam said._ _

__"Thanks, Sam. If she doesn't want to meet or talk just...tell her I understand. I don't agree with her decision, but I know now that she is doing it at least partly for me. And I don't think she's a brat, or selfish, or...any of the mean things I said. I was just hurt and lashing out."_ _

__"I'll tell her, Kara. I think it will mean a lot for her to hear that. Maybe help pull her out of her funk."_ _

__"I hope so, I don't want to leave it with such hurt feelings. I'd really like to tell her myself, but if that's not possible please explain."_ _

__"I'll let you know what she says."_ _

__"Thanks. I'm really glad she has you for a friend, Sam. It's clear you really care about her and want to help. The whole situation is just so...impossible."_ _

__"I'm sorry, Kara. I can see you're both going through hell right now. But it will get better."_ _

__"I know. I'll talk to you later." Kara said softly and wandered back to the barn._ _

__Sam took Alex's hand. "Walk me back to the house?"_ _

__"Sure, I'd love to." Alex said, squeezing her hand._ _

__"See? The perfect gentleman." Sam said leading the way._ _


	31. Nothing to Win and Nothing Left to Lose

That night Sam called Alex after 11.

"Hey." Alex said excitedly.

"Hey. Sorry it took so long. The whole day was tied up with Luthor family events. I think they are all realizing how fucked up Lena's break has been, so there's a last-ditch effort at getting some family time. You can imagine how happy Lena is about that."

"God, that sounds painful."

"Yeah, well you're not the one going with her on a shopping spree to the city with Lillian tomorrow."

"Oh no, sorry Sam."

"Well, Lillian is definitely not the one I wanted to spend my last day in Midvale with."

"So you're staying another day?" Alex said hopefully.

"Yes! We really have to leave on Saturday though. It's a long haul and we need more than one day to do it before school starts on Monday." Sam said. "So...can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Hmmm...let me check my calendar..." Alex teased. "Sorry, I meant, 'hell yes!'. I can't wait. So...what did Lena say about meeting Kara?"

"Well...she was very reluctant. She thinks it will be really hard on both of them. But I really think it may help for them to talk through some things. Kara definitely seems to need more resolution. And I think Lena should hear that Kara understands her decision, even if she thinks it's wrong. I think it may help her to know that Kara gets it, to some extent. Right now she's feels so terrible to be hurting Kara."

"I hope you're right, Sam. I hope it helps them both and not make it harder. So what is the plan?"

"Well, I'm not sure when we'll get back from the city, but I'll text and let you know when we're on our way back. Then I can drive Lena over to your house. I'll take you to dinner and Kara and Lena can talk at your place or go where ever they want."

"Sounds great. I can't wait to see you..."

"Me too. I better run, Lena and Lex are waiting on me to play 'Catan' with them."

"Oh no, we don't want that. Well, good night Sam. Sweet dreams."

"No doubt. I have some really good memories to keep me company."

"Mmm...me too."

"Now don't you start with the sexy voice."

"I told you, I can't help it when I'm thinking about you." Alex said. She could hear Lena in the background calling for Sam. "OK, you better go. Don't want to leave Luthors in the lurch."

"You're too much. 'Night, Alex."

"Good night Sam." Alex laughed.

As she hung up Kara was staring at her with wide eyes. Even though the phone wasn't on speaker, she could hear everything Sam was saying.

"OK, Kara. For better or for worse, Lena will be here tomorrow night."

"It will be for the better. I'm sure."

"Hope you're right. Either way, we're going to find out soon enough."

***

The next night it was after 8 pm before Sam pulled up in the Danvers driveway with Lena in tow. Sam and Alex quickly departed for dinner in Sam's car. Kara convinced Lena that they should go to the diner. Kara didn't feel comfortable talking at the house with Eliza and Jeremiah there and she knew Lena felt more anonymous at the diner outside of town. She helped Lena into the cab of her truck and they were off.

They were both quiet for a while before Lena spoke.

"You look nice, Kara."

"Yeah? I, well I can't help it, I still want to look nice for you. I dressed up. Well, more than my usual boots and jeans."

"Hey, I like those boots and jeans! And you always look good no matter what you're wearing. It's too bad I never got to take you on the shopping trip to buy clothes. That would have been fun."

"Yeah. There are a lot of things that would have been fun." Kara said quietly, then changed the subject. "How was shopping with your mother?"

"It was OK, she was in a good mood. Shopping is the one thing we both enjoy. Plus, Sam was there."

"Did you get a lot of new stuff for school?"

"Yes. Not that I needed anything. But with Mother it's easier to just go along than say no."

When they got to the restaurant they had the same waitress that served them during their date. She was warm and friendly and they each ordered a burger. Kara didn't have her usual appetite. Again she was struck by how different it felt being at the restaurant where they had their first date. At the time she thought it would become a favorite spot, but now it was just making her sad. She realized it was probably a mistake to bring Lena here. She needed to just say what she needed to say and move on. After their food arrived she started her announcement.

Kara jumped in, "Lena, I, thanks for seeing me. There are some things I wanted you to know..."

Lena immediately cut her off. "Kara, before you start, there are things I want to tell you." Lena took a big breath. "First of all, I want to apologize for never talking to you about how I felt, or how I thought I felt. Especially when I realized your feelings were growing. It was really unfair not to tell you I wasn't planning on a serious relationship with you. And then when I realized I had feelings for you, too, it was wrong to just to shut you out. I guess I realized that and that's why I finally said something. But by then I'd already put you through a hell of a lot of suffering. I promise you, I really did think it was what was for the best at the time."

"I'm glad you see how wrong that was. In the end you didn't spare me of anything. Not being able to talk to you at all was terrible. It made everything worse."

"I know. I could see that when we went riding together. I waited too long. I...Kara, I wish you could understand how much I hate causing you pain. I wish I could bear it all myself."

A tear started to slip from Kara's eye. "I feel the same way, Lena. If I could take your pain away I would do it in a heartbeat."

They both got quiet, realizing they were both hurting and had no idea how to help each other through it. 

"Well, I know I can't do that, but I just wanted a chance to tell you that...well, I understand your decision to end...us." Lena's eyes dropped to her plate. 

"I just mean that, well... I know that part of your decision is about trying to protect me. I still...think you're making a mistake. I really believe we should have tried to work through it together. But Alex helped me see what you're saying about your parents finding out, about how bad that could be for me. Maybe even for the Danvers."

"I'm glad you can see that, Kara. Believe me, they're capable of horrible things in order to get what they want."

"I'm sorry, Lena. I'm sorry your family is that way. That must be so difficult, I just can't imagine."

"It's OK, Kara. I'm tough. It's harder now without Lex in my corner, but I've always got Sam. And I've got some other good friends at school. It could be worse."

"You've got me, Lena. If you ever need me."

"Thanks, Kara. I appreciate you saying that."

"I mean it."

"I know you do. It's not that, I just...well, I can't let myself hold on to that."

"Why not?"

"I know you my not believe me, but I have strong feelings for you that I also need to learn to let go of. Keeping in touch, that is only going to make it harder for both or us. And it's so risky. I just couldn't bear to do something that would put you at risk of exposure to my family."

Kara slid her hand across the table and laid it on top of the back of Lena's hand. Lena turned her hand over so that Kara's fingers were resting in her palm. Kara could feel as Lena's heart started racing through the pulse of her palm. Kara started massaging her palm soothingly.

"I believe you, Lena. It breaks my heart more knowing that you do have feelings for me, and that we still can't be together. But at least I know I'm not crazy. The way you made me feel, the way you looked at me, the way you touched me...I wasn't just imagining things."

"No. Not at all. I was the one who was crazy, thinking I'd be able to resist your charms." Lena said, teasing. Even though her voice was teasing she looked very serious when she raised her eyes from to table to finally look Kara in the eyes.

"You're so beautiful, Kara. It was easy to convince myself that I was just extremely attracted to you. But you're also beautiful on the inside. That's why I fell for you."

"You are too, Lena. I'm sorry I called you a brat and accused you of dumping me so you could sleep around. You know I was just hurt, that I didn't really mean that."

"I understand, Kara. I'm glad you told me. Seeing you now...well, I'm glad you asked us to meet. I do feel better knowing you understand why, even if it's not what you want. The truth is, it's not really what I want either. But it's what I know is right. Sometimes we have to do hard things for the right reasons."

"I'm glad I had a chance to tell you. It hurts me too, to think I caused you pain." Kara said.

Lena squeezed her hand so their fingers were curled around each other. Tears were welling in her eyes. "Figures I find the perfect human being. And it turns out she isn't a human. I should have known you were too perfect." She chuckled weakly.

Kara smiled at Lena and fought the urge to ask her that they try again. She knew it was pointless, but she longed to take Lena in her arms and beg her. To promise her anything if they could only try.

"Wow, I've never seen you eat so little." Lena said, changing the subject. Neither had taken more than a bite or two of their food. "I guess I understand now why you eat so much. You must have an extremely high metabolism. Do you know much about your biology?"

"Well, I was 13 when I was sent...away. So I know a lot about my biology as it relates to Krypton. But many things are different for me here, due to the yellow sun, which makes me strong and lets me do things humans can't. There are similarities, but also major differences between humans and Kryptonians. Like I know that it was not uncommon for Kryptonians to have both sexual reproductive organs, even if they appear as what you consider female here. Some had just a vagina, or just a penis, or even both was not unusual. Reproduction and sexuality just wasn't tied with appearance. I mean, looking like what you think of as female didn't mean you were more or less likely to have only a vagina. I know it must sound bizarre to you, but when Eliza explained how things were here that sounded completely bizarre to me."

"It doesn't sound bizarre, it sounds fascinating! I'd love to learn more about it. I'm sorry people can be so backwards about it here. People are afraid of what's different, and it's just not very common here. Most people will never meet someone like you, or at least won't realize they did. But Kara, just remember, you are amazing the way you are. Please never be ashamed."

"Thank you, Lena. I'm trying not to be embarrassed and afraid to talk to people about it."

After that they talked for quite a while about Krypton. Lena was completely fascinated to learn more about the planet, and blown away by the idea of a red sun. They talked about their families and their plans for the new semester until the staff started cleaning and preparing to close the diner. Once they were back in the truck Kara found herself driving slowly back to the mansion. She knew it was likely the last time she would see Lena, probably for a long time, or maybe ever. It hurt her to think it was possible that she might not ever see her again. Lena seemed to be feeling the same, and she slid her hand over and intertwined hers with Kara's as they neared the long driveway.

"Kara, take the gravel road through the woods. If you go up the driveway and pull to the house you'll be on the security cams. We've come this far, let's not blow it by pulling up in a truck that stands out like a sore thumb."

"You do love your idiomatic American phrases, don't you?" Kara laughed as she passed the driveway and turned into the gravel drive into the woods further down the road. They bumped along till they neared the edge of the woods just out of sight of the mansion.

"Stop here." Lena said. "I just want to say goodbye before we're in sight of the house."

Kara pulled to a halt and waited to hear what Lena had to say. 

"Kara, I just want you to know how much my time with you has meant to me. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about how I felt. There are so many things I wish I would have done differently looking back. But, the truth is, it wouldn't change where we are now."

"I understand, Lena. I do. I still think you're wrong...but I understand." Kara said, squeezing her hand. "Lena. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. You can ask me anything."

Kara hesitated, not sure she really could. But she could feel the moment slipping away. She wanted a last connection with Lena. She just wasn't sure how to ask.

"Do you remember how I was when I met you? How I was afraid to get too close to you?"

"Yes, of course. I thought you didn't like me, but really you were just afraid I would find out you were biologically different."

"Right. And then it came out that you already knew, and it didn't scare you. You were still were attracted to me. You didn't...run away. I was so afraid of being rejected. I can't tell you what a big relief it was that you liked me the way I am."

"Kara, I'm sorry that you feel that way, that you feel afraid for people to find out. I know it must be so hard for you. I understand why you were afraid for me to know, but it didn't change anything for me. In fact I'm more attracted to you than I have ever been to anyone. Remember how I joked that I thought you were created in my fantasy lab?" 

"Yes. And it always made me nervous because I did come from such strange circumstances."

"But that doesn't make you strange, Kara. You came from circumstances that seem strange here on Earth. But that's just because of our limited perspective." Lena squeezed her hand. "You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I hope you know that."

"I do know it. But I also know there will be a lot of people who don't see it the way you do. I know it's always going be difficult, or at least complicated for me to have relationships with people."

Kara looked vexed and she hesitated again. "What is it you want to ask me, Kara? You can tell me." Lena asked.

"I just...I..." Kara rubbed her forehead. 

Lena caressed Kara's fingers. "Just ask me, Kara." she said gently.

"I just...I just want my first time to be with you!" She finally blurted out.

Lena sat back with her eyes wide. She pulled her hand away in surprise. When Lena pulled away Kara started apologizing.

"I'm sorry, Lena. That was way out of line. I just...please pretend I never said anything."

Lena reached out and took her hand again. "No, Kara, it's OK that you asked. I was just...surprised."

"Please, please just forget I said anything."

"Kara. It's OK." Lena took a deep breath. "You know...you know that's what I've wanted for a long time. But I wanted to be sure you were ready and I usually got signs that you weren't, except maybe on Christmas. And now...well...it's probably a bad idea for both of us. Don't you think it will only make it harder that we won't see each other, or even be in touch?"

"Maybe. But I just realized that if I didn't ask, I would regret it. I've been trying so hard not to tell you about how I'm feeling, holding so much in. I just wanted to get that out. I know I'll always feel like I missed my chance to be with you that way, since I didn't...come prepared when I spent the night on Christmas." Kara stammered. "I don't know...maybe it could be a good way of saying good-bye?"

"Oh Kara, that sounds a bit crazy. You know I always tell you how sex can get so tied with emotions. Don't you think we're dealing with enough emotions right now?" 

"You're right. I shouldn't have asked."

"Kara, stop. It's OK to ask for something you want. Just like it's OK to say 'no' to something you don't want. Your thoughts and feelings are important, you shouldn't try to cover them up. I'm really sorry that things I did made you feel you couldn't be yourself and talk about your feelings. I was wrong, Kara. I was so wrong. I thought I was the one with experience, showing you the ways of the world. But the bottom line is that you should always be true to yourself and speak your truth. I made you feel like you shouldn't, and I regret that."

"It's OK, Lena. I know you were struggling to figure out your own truth."

"The truth is, I've learned a lot during our short time together. A lot about who I want to be and what I want to stand for. You think I was the one teaching you new things, but honestly, you were teaching me about...how to be a better person." Lena moved her hand to Kara's chin and lifted her face so that she was looking Lena in the eye. She leaned in to give Kara a light kiss on the mouth and pulled back. 

To Kara, it felt like a lovely kiss good-bye, and maybe that's what Lena intended. But when Kara looked into Lena's eyes she saw a fire light. Lena quickly slid her hand behind Kara's head and pulled her forward hard. Kara could have resisted, but she didn't even try. Their lips crashed together like they'd both been starving for air that only the other one could provide. They kissed until Lena had to stop to breathe. They pulled apart slightly as their chests moved rapidly up and down.

"Oh god, Lena. I can't tell you how much I've missed your lips!" Kara gasped out.

"Me too." Lena looked down at Kara's lips longingly and bit her lip. "But...are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure this won't make things harder in the long run?"

"I'm sure this is what I want. Whether it's right or not, I just don't care right now. It probably will make it harder for me, but I don't care. I just...want to be with you. Just once more. If you're worried that it's the last time we'll be together, don't be. I've accepted that we're over. I'm not trying to change your mind. I just...I want to feel all of you. Even if it's just once." Kara stopped and realized she may be pushing too hard. "But Lena, what do you want?" Kara looked at her with wide eyes.

That seemed to be all Lena could take. "I...I want you, Kara. I want all of you, too. I've wanted you for so long. I think it will make things harder for us both. But...I'm willing to take that risk if you are. As long as we both agree that this doesn't change anything. This is really good-bye. I just, I really can't go through any more discussions or arguments. It hurts too much."

"I know. I accept your decision. I promise I won't try to change your mind." Kara said earnestly. "Lena, just please kiss me again."

At that they moved together now more slowly. Lena pulling Kara slowly towards her mouth, easing them together. They kissed more gently, but more deeply. Like they had all the time in the world, and just wanted to make everything count. Lena eased her mouth open as Kara slid her tongue inside, softly sliding against Lena's tongue as she let out a moan. Then pulled back for a moment.

"Wait, Kara, do you mean here? What if someone comes down this road?"

"No one's coming down this road this late at night. It's pitch black out and we're surrounded by woods. And if anyone does pull on to this road I'm going to hear them right away."

"On no, let me guess - super hearing?" Lena laughed.

"Well, it does come in handy." Kara smiled sheepishly. "But it also gets me in trouble sometimes."

"Do you mean like when you try to rescue someone while they're masturbating?"

"Exactly like that." Kara said, rolling her eyes.

"Why do you have to always be so adorable? It's really too much." Lena said sighing.

Kara looked at her, eyes imploring Lena, but she didn't say anything. At the thought that something might be happening between them it felt like the blood had been steadily leaving her brain and moving down to her cock. It was distracting her, but she was determined not to make any move until it was clear it was what Lena wanted. She waited quietly.

"Yes, Kara. Yes." Lena said in answer to her unasked question.

"Are you sure?" Kara managed to squeak out.

"Come here." They were sitting in the middle of the truck seat bed and Lena scooted backwards to lean against the door. She pulled Kara towards her by her shirt and looked her in the eye with seriousness. "I want you to make love to me." 

Kara couldn't hold out any longer. She moved forward to continue kissing Lena deeply. Her hands moved to Lena's hips and pulled her closer. Lena slid down further on the seat as Kara moved above her. Their mouths stayed in contact, searching, like they were pleading without words not to part. Kara reached down and slowly began to unbutton Lena's blouse as they kissed. She slid her hands inside her blouse, cupping her breasts through her bra as Lena moaned. She slid her fingers across Lena's breasts to unlatch her bra and let it fall away.

"Latches in front." Kara chuckled, remembering the first time she saw Lena's breasts in the hay loft. Lena had laughed at her when she said she'd never seen a bra like that. Lena giggled too.

"We have had some fun times, haven't we?"

"The best." Kara said.

"And the worst." Lena sighed.

"Shhh. Let's focus on now." Kara said as she lathed her tongue over Lena's nipple.

"Oh god, I definitely see your point." Lena moaned. Kara continued licking and sucking, moving between Lena's erect nipples. She moved the tip of her tongue teasingly over the tip of one as Lena squirmed under the attention. She had her hands in Kara's hair, keeping her close.

Lena's hips started to grind, searching for more contact. Kara still hesitated. Knowing how hard she was, she didn't want her body to come into contact with Lena yet. She was a little embarrassed at how strongly she was reacting and wanted to keep herself under control. She continued kissing deeply into Lena's mouth as she felt Lena's hands start to move down her body, pulling her closer. She slid her hand under the hem of Kara's shirt and tugged.

"Take this off. I want to see you." Lena husked and Kara quickly jerked her shirt over her head. Lena slid her hands around Kara's back to release her bra. Kara shouldered out of it to bare her chest. 

"Jesus." Lena said, gazing at Kara with amazement. She reached out and eased her fingers down Kara's throat, down to cup her breasts and dragged her nails across her nipples. Kara gasped as Lena squeezed them tight between her fingers. 

"Come closer, Kara. I want to feel you against me." Kara moved down to cover Lena with her body. They both moaned in ecstasy as their naked skin came together, their breasts and nipples caressing. Kara began to move her body up and down against Lena, her skin felt like it was on fire with the sensation of Lena shifting against her. Without intending it she lowered herself enough that her hard cock rubbed against Lena's thigh, then she jerked back as she felt it.

"Don't. Don't pull away." Lena said as she moved her hands behind Kara's back to hold her still. With the pressure of her cock being trapped between her leg and Lena's leg, Kara's body reacted by grinding down against Lena. 

Aahhh..." Kara groaned out at the feeling. She didn't want to stop, but there was something she wanted first.

"Wait, Lena, I...if this it the last time I get to touch you...can I please taste you? I just want to remember..." Kara lost her words, but Lena didn't. She moved her hand to the top of Kara's head and pushed her down between her legs.

"God yes, Kara. Put your mouth on me."

At that Kara slid her hand up Lena's thigh, up her skirt to her panties and teased the tip of her fingers on top of her panties near her center.

"Aahh, you're so wet..." Kara breathed out as she massaged Lena's cunt through her panties. "Can I take these off?" Kara slid her hand under the waistband of her panties and waited for Lena to lift up.

"No, Kara. Just..just tear them off." Lena said, her breath panting. 

"Are you sure?"

"Now, Kara." Lena said with conviction.

Kara didn't bother to question her more and tore them away with ease. Lena let out a moan.

"God, that was hot. You're so strong, Kara...it...it makes me crazy." Lena slid her fingers along Kara's biceps. "Your body is phenomenal."

Kara preened at the compliment but it didn't slow her down from her mission. Lena bent her knees upward and Kara gently pushed her legs apart. She leaned down and licked deeply through Lena's folds as Lena called out. "Oh fuck!"

"Sorry! I couldn't wait any longer." Kara said.

"No, I was just surprised...in a good way." Lena gasped. "Keep going."

Kara dove back down and tongued tightly against her clit as Lena squirmed and moaned.

"You're...so wet." Kara said, breathing heavy. "You taste...so good." Kara said between thorough licks along Lena's center.

Lena wove her fingers through Kara's hair, pushing her down harder.

"God. Kara. Please, don't stop that." Lena began to gyrate her hips hard against Kara's mouth. It seemed that with the realization that Kara was nearly invincible, Lena was no longer worried against a little rough treatment. "Feels so good..."

Kara pushed her tongue harder and deeper, Lena's moans driving her on, determined to feel her come undone under her tongue. As Lena started to quiver Kara thrust her tongue harder and faster into Lena, causing her to cant her hips rapidly against Kara's tongue until she clenched hard and called out Kara's name as she came. Kara continued to tongue her gently as she came down, squirming and groaning as she moved against Kara's mouth.

"Jesus, Kara! If I didn't know better I'd say you've been practicing. I guess we should put that on the list as another one of your powers." Lena chuckled, still breathing rapidly.

Kara smiled against Lena's cunt as she felt her settling down. She didn't know of any feeling better than making Lena cum like that. She kissed her lightly on her cunt, then raised up so she could see Lena better. 

As Lena's breathing evened out she pulled on Kara's hair. "Come up here, Supergirl."

Kara raised up and moved in to kiss Lena. She pulled Lena tight against her chest, lifting her off the seat bed as they moved steadily against each other. Lena moved her leg tightly between Kara's legs, steadily pressuring and rubbing her cock as Kara moaned and canted her hips into Lena.

As Lena shifted she came to realize that she was no longer in contact with the seat bed.

"Kara! I'm...we're floating!"

Kara looked down and saw they were just above the seat. "Sorry! Sorry if I scared you Lena. I got too excited."

"Fuck, the things you do to my body." Lena husked into her ear and kissed the side of her face as Kara lowered her hips back to the seat. Lena leaned back against the truck door and took the opportunity to ease her hands down Kara's abdominals to the top of her jeans and then lower. 

"Oh god, Lena! Oh fuck." Kara closed her eyes and tried to get herself under control as Lena stroked her cock tightly through her jeans. "Aaaghhh." she gasped. She tried to keep herself from thrusting forward by bracing her arms against the door on either side of Lena's head.

"Shhh. It's OK, Kara. You can let go. Just, ease up, your body is so tense." Lena grabbed Kara's hips and tried to move them closer to her body.

"Sorry, I'm nervous. And I have no idea how to..."

Lena eased her button open and started moving the zipper down. Once her pants were open she reached in and drug her nails over the bulge in Kara's briefs, then stroked the outline of her straining cock.

"Wait...Lena..."

"Kara, what is it? Did you change your mind?" Lena asked, confused. "It's OK if you did. It's OK."

"No! No, I just..." Kara was having a hard time forming words so she reached to open her glove box where her pharmacy bag with condoms was still sitting.

"Oh, it's OK, here...let me." Lena reached for the box of condoms. "Take your pants off."

Kara rushed to comply, yanking her pants and briefs off quickly.

"Good girl." Lena said with a smirk as she opened the box.

"Wow, they're blue!" Lena laughed.

"Lena! Don't laugh, it was really confusing. There were so many shapes and colors and sizes!"

"Well, I hope you got large." Lena said, looking down at Kara's straining cock. "God, I love your cock."

Lena reached down to rub the tip, coating it in pre-cum. "It's OK, Kara. I'm going to take care of you."

The feeling of Lena's fingers on her was driving her crazy, her body longed to thrust forward but she held herself still. Lena tore open a condom using her teeth and rolled it down slowly over her cock.

"Oh fuck, Lena!" Kara tried not to squirm at the strange feeling of the tight condom and the amazing feeling of Lena's hand stroking it down.

Once it was on, Lena wrapped one hand around her cock firmly, holding her steady and moving her other hand to Kara's chin. She pulled her to her mouth and kissed her gently as Kara's breathing got more ragged.

"Shh, it's OK, Kara." Lena felt a tear sliding down Kara's cheek. "Are you OK?"

"Yes, I just...I want you so much. I just want to be careful, I don't want to hurt you." Kara was straining to hold herself still and go slowly.

"You're not going to hurt me." Lena began to stroke her as she kissed her deeply then moved her lips around to Kara's ear. "Kara, it's time. I want to feel you inside me...so deep...please fuck me..." Lena whispered.

Kara couldn't hold out any longer. She put her hands on Lena's hips and pulled them forward. Lena's skirt slid up as Kara moved between her legs. Her cock finally coming in contact with Lena's center. They both gasped out at the feeling of the tip of Kara's cock hitting her clit.

"Yes, yes Kara." Lena started moving up and down as Kara's cock slipped between her folds, slickly sliding up and down against her wetness. Lena reached down to guide Kara to her entrance. "Yes, right there! Go slow. Please, now, I want to feel you inside."

Kara eased the tip of her cock inside as Lena moaned. "Aahhh! Oh yes..."

At the feeling of Lena's hot wet cunt around her Kara called out. "Lena, oh Lena. God, you feel so good. It's so...tight. You're squeezing me so tight." Still she kept herself from thrusting forward as her body longed to do.

"Jesus, you're big, Kara! Feels so full. Just...go slow, I need to adjust to you." Lena's breathing was also getting very rapid.

"Is it OK, am I hurting you?" Starting to pull back. Lena wrapped her hands around Kara's ass to keep her from moving away.

"No! No, I feel so full, in a good way. You feel amazing, Kara, I promise. I want more, I just...you just need to go slow." Lena gasped out.

Kara felt Lena clench around her cock and called out again. "Oh fuck, yes! Oh fuck, that's...so good. Lena, I can't believe I'm inside you."

"Believe it, Kara! Jesus, so fucking good." Lena started canting her hips slightly. "It's OK, Kara, I want you to move deeper inside me. Just go slow."

Kara shifted in another inch deeper. "Aahh!" She called out. Every movement and twinge from Lena was driving her higher. She concentrated on holding back, not wanting to cum too quickly, wanting the feeling to last forever, but her body was driving her for more.

"That's it, Kara. That's so good. More, I can take more now." Lena said as she started canting her hips in a slightly circular motion.

"Mmmm...oh yes, yes." Lena's movements were driving her mad. Kara pushed further inside as Lena continued to move. Lena was squeezing her cock so tightly, Kara worried about hurting her. But the sounds Lena was making and the way Lena responded to more of her cock told Kara she wanted it.

"Lena, are you OK?" She gasped out.

"Yes, yes! Yes, so good Kara, don't stop. I want more, keep going. I want all of you! I want all of you inside me." Lena grunted out.

Kara eased steadily deeper, then paused to let Lena adjust. "More!" Lena demanded. Kara pushed again steadily until at last she bottomed out inside Lena with a grunt. "Oh fuck, Lena, I'm all the way in! God, you feel so good, you're squeezing me so tight! I...I want to move, can I?"

"Yes, yes, I'm good, I want you to move Kara." Lena slid her hands behind Kara's ass and pulled her forward.

Kara eased back and then thrust forward slowly. Lena called out at the feeling. "Yes, more, keep going, you're not hurting me. Your cock feels amazing, Kara. God, it feels so good. Just fuck me."

At that Kara started thrusting steadily in and and out, pulling back till it was just her tip inside, then slowly and deeply into Lena. When Lena asked for more again she started thrusting steadily faster as Lena's body started to quiver. Lena began clenching harder as she came hard around Kara's cock.

The feeling of Lena coming sent Kara over the edge. "God, Lena, I'm cuming!"

"Yes, yes, I want to feel you cum." Kara felt herself spilling inside the condom as she started pistoning rapidly in and out of Lena through her orgasm.

"Lena! Lena..." Kara's hips slowed as she started to come down. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara's shoulders and kissed the tears on her cheeks.

"You did so good, baby. That was so fucking good." Lena soothed Kara as she was coming down. Her cock was still buried deep inside of Lena.

"That was incredible, Lena. Sorry I'm crying, that was just really intense."

"Don't apologize. For anything. You're so good, baby. You're so good." Lena eased back and Kara pulled herself out as gently as she could and quickly dispensed of the condom. Lena laid down on the seat and Kara laid down top of her chest as their breathing slowed. Lena stroked her hair.

"I can't believe we just had sex in your truck!" Lena laughed. "But I have to admit, I did have a fantasy about that when you told me you were getting an old truck. These wide seat beds, they don't make them like this anymore!"

"Thanks, Lena. Thank you. I'm so glad my first time was with you. You were so sweet the way you talked me through it. I was so nervous, but you made me feel safe."

"I'm honored to be your first. The first in a long line, I'm sure." Lena said wistfully. "You're going to be such a good lover, Kara. You already are. It's because you really care. You put me first, you want me to feel good more than you want to feel good yourself."

"Of course I do! Making you feel good is the most important thing. But I think you're wrong about me having many lovers. A lot of people aren't going to understand, they'll freak out at how different I am. And how will I know who I can trust? It's not going to be easy to have relationships with humans. Not like it would be back home."

"Kara, I promise they'll be so many people who accept you the way you are, even be thrilled with the way you are. You should be smart and careful, but please don't hide yourself away. You deserve...so much, Kara. And as for people who don't accept you, well, they're idiots and you shouldn't waste time on them anyway."

Kara raised her head to look at Lena in the eye. "Thank you, Lena." They both moved at the same time to bring their lips together. They kissed easily, gradually moving in to gentle open mouth kisses. Kara wasn't ready for Lena to rush home and just wanted to hold her longer. Lena seemed to want the same.

As they were kissing Lena suddenly stopped. "Kara. You're...hard again. I can feel you on my leg."

"I'm sorry, Lena. I can't help it. You know how strongly my body reacts to you." Kara scrambled to pull her lower body from contact with Lena. "Just...ignore it, it'll go down eventually. Can we kiss just a little while longer?"

"Kara, I don't want it to go down. I was just surprised you got hard so fast after cuming as much as you did. Here, sit back." Kara quickly sat back in the seat. "Now lay down flat on your back." Again, Kara quickly did as she was told.

Lena pulled another another condom from the box and rolled it slowly down Kara's already fully erect cock. Kara groaned deeply with approval as she gripped the seat cushion behind her head to keep her hands from grabbing Lena.

"Blue is definitely your color!" Lena teased, eyeing her cock hungrily.

Lena climbed on top of Kara, straddling her stomach and leaning down to kiss her mouth. "Just relax. I'm going to do all the work."

"Oh great Rao..." Kara said in awe as Lena raised her hips and moved over Kara's cock, moving up and down to coat with her wetness. Then she lifted up lowered herself down, guiding Kara's cock to her wet center. Slowly, she eased over the tip to take Kara inside.

"Lena! Oh yes...god...ahhh, that feels amazing!" Lena put her hands on Kara's shoulders as she continued to move lower, taking Kara in steadily deeper until she was fully hilted inside. 

"Oh, Kara, god, I...I love your cock. You're ruining me!" Lena clenched tightly around her as Kara called out loudly. Kara watched in amazement at the ecstasy written across Lena's face. Her mouth dropped into an "O" and her eyes rolled back. Lena held still and braced her arms against Kara's shoulders to raise up again. Slowly, she moved up till just the tip of Kara's cock was still inside her, then eased back down. Then she raised up again and moved down again, grinding hard to get as deep as possible.

Kara was feeling completely overwhelmed. The hot, wet pressure around her cock was incredible, the best feeling she'd ever known. She concentrated hard on not cuming, trying to keep going until she could feel Lena cum. But watching Lena's face as she moved up and down her cock only made her need to cum stronger. She couldn't help but start canting into Lena, responding to her rhythm and trying to move even deeper. She kept her hands on the seat but couldn't help but arch her back. She could feel her cock was rubbing hard against Lena's g-spot. Lena was no longer able to put words together, but with every movement down against Kara she grunted out a 'yes' or 'fuck' or 'Kara'. Kara was holding on for dear life determined not to let go. Lena started moving faster, now dropping harder, impaling herself on Kara's cock. Kara bit her lip hard, fighting the amazing feeling and trying to hold on. At last, Lena began to clench relentlessly and Kara felt Lena's hot cum squirt out on top of her cock and stomach.

"Oh fuck yes! Oh, Kara!" Kara watched with wide eyes as Lena continued to gyrate against her until she couldn't hold back any longer. She felt the cum rushing through her cock, filling the condom and giving her an incredible feeling of release. It was like everything in the world suddenly flashed white for a moment and euphoria came over her.

Lena began to slow down her gyrations. Eventually she lifted off of Kara's cock, then collapsed on top of her chest. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena's back and pulled her close. 

"How was that, cowgirl?" Lena asked in a husky voice.

"That was amazing, Lena! I've never,...that was the most incredible feeling. Thank you for sharing your body with me that way."

Lena's breath was still coming fast. Kara eased her fingers underneath Lena's shirt, rubbing her back and soothing her heavy breathing with her finger tips. Suddenly she realized that Lena's body was jerking slightly up and down.

Kara froze. "Lena! Are you OK? It sounds like you're...crying."

"Fuck! I can't help it, Kara. I told you emotions can get mixed up with sex. I'm just feeling...emotional."

"Lena, are you upset with me? Are you mad that I asked you for...you?"

"No, Kara. I'm not upset." Lena's sobs had slowed down and she was catching her breath. "This is what I wanted too. I just...I'm just...really going to miss you."

At that Kara resumed easing her fingers over Lena's back. She kissed the top of Lena's head. "Me too."

Kara then wrapped her arms tightly around her. "I love you, Lena." 

Lena stayed quiet for quite a while. Kara had no expectation that she would respond, she just wanted to tell her one more time while she still had the chance. Lena's lips were pressed against Kara's chest. She whispered against her skin. "I love you too, Kara. I'll always remember you."

And, as always, Kara heard every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised they would get there! Never fear, I’m not leaving it at that sad ending. We’re finally ready for the big time jump! Kara and Lena will say good-bye at the beginning of the next chapter, then we’ll speed up and cover a year in the rest of that chapter. Then we’ll speed up faster, covering some formative events for both women for a couple of chapters to fast forward to their meeting again as grown-ass women. I’m really excited about the storylines I have planned. We will not be jumping to canon events. I hope to be true to their characters but give them an AU twist based on the influences they had on each other in high school. Would love to hear your thoughts. Hope you all stay tuned!


	32. Learning to Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok faithful readers, buckle up for the fast forward! Just to give you an idea about how it will be, there will be about 8 transition chapters for Kara and probably 1 for Lena before they get back together. In my story these women are bisexual and they will not be celebate during the transition. Remember that they believe they won't see each other again. They aren't waiting around, but moving on with their lives, as they should do under the circumstances. They need to go out and experience life and grow up, so now they are going to do that. They will have relationships with men and women, though we will see this a faster pace, not spending a lot of time with non-Supercorp relationships. There will be some non-Supercorp smut, but NO explicit descriptions of any F/M smut because that isn't really my bag, but it will be mentioned as having happened if they are in relationships with men. There WILL be some F/F, non-Supercorp smut described because I don't want to go 5-10 years without it. I live for that sh*t, after all. I will make a note of non-Supercorp smut at the start of those chapters for people that want to skip it. So if that sounds good to you, please read on! I really hope you will.
> 
> ***Non-Supercorp smut at the very end of this chapter, following right after the 'XXX' ***

"I love you too, Kara. I'll always remember you."

At that tears began to stream again from Kara's eyes. She continued to stroke Lena's hair to soothe her. There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew it was all pointless.

"We better get you back." Kara said with reluctance. "It's getting late. They'll be sending out the dogs soon."

"You're joking but..." Lena laughed and sat up reluctantly. She latched her bra and started buttoning her blouse while taking her last opportunity to gaze at Kara with nothing on. Kara pulled her shirt over her head and started feeling around for her jeans. Lena took awhile to get herself re-situated.

"Well, I guess I'm going commando!" She said, picking up her ruined panties from the floor.

"Hey, that was your fault, not mine!" Kara exclaimed, quietly pulling the panties out of Lena's hand. "I was only doing what I was told."

"Which you are very good at, I might add." Lena said, caressing her cheek and smiling.

"You know I always like giving you what you want." Kara teased as she jerked on her briefs and pants.

"You are simply too much, Ms. Danvers. God, I'm going to miss you." Lena had now arranged herself to be as presentable as she could be under the circumstances.

They looked at each other with sad smiles. They reached out to intertwine their fingers. Kara pulled Lena's hand to her lips and kissed them. "I'm going to miss you too, Ms. Luthor."

"I'm going to hobble home from here. I don't want your truck showing up on the cams. With me coming in late, the last thing we need is your license plate on video."

"You're right. But at least let me help you out." Kara dropped her hand and sped around to Lena's side of the truck cab. Since they were in pitch black she didn't try to temper her instincts. She slid her arms under Lena and lifted her to the ground in a bridal carry. Lena had her arms around Kara's neck and took the opportunity to kiss her on the cheek.

"My hero." Lena said, obviously trying to joke but her words got caught in her throat.

Kara was reluctant to set her down. She suddenly had an inspiration to try to squeeze out a little more time together.

"Lena, since you're leaving Midvale in the morning, how about one last look at the beach? We could go to the water tower and look at the stars for a bit."

"That sounds lovely, Kara, but it's getting so late. I think it's too risky."

"What if I could have you back by midnight?" 

Lena glanced at her watch. "How...?" She stuttered and then looked up at Kara with wide eyes. "You mean..."

"I mean we could do it without driving or climbing up the tower." Kara said with an impish smile.

Lena's mouth dropped open, then snapped shut. "Yes! Yes, please. I'd love to fly with you, Kara."

Kara beamed from ear to ear at Lena's enthusiasm. "Well, then, buckle up my love." Kara gulped, embarrassed about the name she'd called Lena without thinking. It was too late, there was nothing to do but soldier on.

Kara took a quick 360 degree scan of the area to make sure no one was in sight. Then she lifted off, going straight up to just above the tree line. Lena gripped her tightly but kept her eyes wide open and looked around, like she didn't want to miss a thing.

Kara turned and flew just above the trees in a beeline to the coast, scanning all the way. She moved quickly but not at her top speed. Within a moments she was landing on the tower and setting Lena down carefully.

"That was fucking fantastic!" Lena exclaimed. "Thank you. That may be the be the closest I come to the feeling of flying. Then again, maybe not!" She said, beaming. She was clearly giddy about the experience.

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena from behind and looked out at the stars from the tower. "Star gazing with you on our date will always be a favorite memory of mine." She said.

"I never thanked you for the lovely Christmas present you gave me, writing about that memory. I'm sorry we spent so much time suffering due to my foolishness. I'll always cherish your letter, Kara. Thank you."

"I'm glad you liked it. I was trying to immulate a Kryptonian tradition. We used to give gifts of our favorite memories as holograms for our loved ones to experience from our perspective. It's not really the same written on paper, but I wanted to do something that was meaningful in my culture."

"It's a beautiful tradition. I guess that must be hard, realizing you are one of only 2 to carry on the memories of Krypton."

"Yes. It's something I hope to talk to Cl..Superman more about. He left when he was a baby, so he doesn't have any memories. But I'm hoping one day he'll want to learn more about his home. These days he's pretty caught up in being a hero. And I must seem like a kid to him. Even though I'm 13 years older!"

"You're fascinating, Kara. I hope you realize that. I know you have to be secretive, but please recognize that your story is incredible. You are incredible. And I hope some day you'll be able to share more with someone you love and trust. Someone who loves and values you."

Kara was getting teary again. "Thank you, Lena. Maybe someday." She kissed the side of Lena's neck. "We better get you back."

"Yes." Lena said sadly. "Can we...go up really high, just for a bit before we had back?"

"Of course! I love to do that. It feels like another world. Here..." Instead of picking Lena up in a bridal carry she turned her towards her and draped Lena's arms around her neck. Then she moved her hands to her hips and titled her head down to rest her forehead against Lena's. Kara swayed like that for a moment and if someone had been watching they would have thought they were dancing. Kara then kissed her forehead and held her tight around the waist. She made another 360 degree scan of the area and found everything clear.

"Ready?" 

"Of course! What is it Superman says? Up, up...."

"And away!" Kara said as she jetted straight up and high into the sky, until they were well out of sight of anyone who might be around. When she came to a stop Lena looked all around in amazement.

"Wow, it is really peaceful up here. Everything looks so small. Insignificant. It feels like we could just leave it all behind. Go find a new planet where we could be free!"

"Wouldn't that be amazing." Kara said, wistfully. Kara held her tightly with one arm behind her back, then lifted Lena's chin to look her in the eye. She wanted to say something. To say everything. But she realized she was getting choked up and really didn't want to cry again. Instead she leaned in and kissed Lena chastely. Lena pulled her in for a deeper kiss and then leaned back.

"Thank you for this." Lena said. "This is the most incredible experience of my life."

"You're welcome, Lena. I'm really glad I had a chance to share this with you. I love to fly for fun or as an escape, but having you here...it's really something else." Kara leaned in for another long kiss, pulling Lena still closer.

After a bit Lena started shivering. The excitement plus the drop in temperature from being so high was getting to her.

"I better get you back." Kara said with regret. 

"It is a little breezy considering I don't have any underwear on." Lena laughed. Kara wrapped Lena's legs around her and leaned back so that she was flying on her back and Lena could lay on top of her. She flew more slowly on the return to the mansion, but they were still back in no time. Kara landed gently by her truck and set Lena down, then rushed to get her crutches.

"M' lady." She said, bowing and giving her the crutches.

After Lena got her crutches situated they just looked at each other for a while, neither really wanting to go. "Well, I better get inside." 

"Yes, we don't want to find out about those dogs the hard way." Kara tried to joke.

Lena looked at Kara steadily. "I know you're going to do amazing things, Kara. I'm going to keep my eye on you."

"I know you're going to change the world, Lena Luthor. And I can't wait to see what that world looks like!" Kara said hopefully, but with a hint of sadness.

"I'm so lucky to have known you." Lena said, taking Kara's hand and kissing her fingers.

"Me too. Can I have a kiss goodbye?"

"Well, I'd say you got a lot more than that! Come here." Lena laughed, pulling her close. 

They moved in to a soft, deep kiss. Both were clearly holding back, trying to avoid lighting another fire between them.

"Take care of yourself, Supergirl." Lena said as she leaned away. "I'll never forget you."

"I'll won't forget you either, Lena. Please let me know if you ever need me."

At that Lena squeezed her hand and turned to hobble down the dirt road on crutches. Once again Kara used all her will power not to help Lena get back to the house. She watched until Lena was well out of sight, then flew to a tree at the edge of the clearing where she was just out of reach of the house lights. She watched as Lena crutched her way up the stairs of the mansion and disappeared inside.

"Good-bye, Kara." She said as she closed the door.

***

Kara crept back to her room even later than Alex that night. She tried floating into bed without making noise, but Alex must have been still awake. As she settled Alex rolled towards her.

"So, how was your night?"

"Um...really good." Kara said hesitantly. "How was your date?"

"Oh, it was, well...It was, wonderful!" Alex said.

"Really?" Kara asked happily.

"Yes, really." Alex replied. "You know, we went out to a really nice restaurant. I guess it's a 4-star place that the Luthors go to a lot. The whole thing was complimentary because Lena had called ahead and made arrangements to pay! A very nice thing to do for a couple of girls who don't have rich families."

"Wow. Lena is always so generous." Kara said softly. 

"Yes. The food was incredible." Alex said. "And Sam is...even better." Alex said wistfully.

"Oh really?"

"Definitely!"

"Did you go anywhere else?"

"Yes, we actually went to the mansion. I had told her I'd never seen it and she thought it might be fun for me to see. It's pretty incredible!"

"Yeah? Well, I've only seen a couple of rooms." Kara said. "But that was pretty incredible..." She grinned.

"No details, please!" Alex exclaimed.

"So, what's it like?" Kara asked.

"Well, ridiculously large for a family of four. Very expensive and tasteful. They have some really fantastic tech managing things around the house. They have separate wings for guests and family."

"And where does Sam fall out in that hierarchy?"

"Oh, they have her in the family wing. But we did tour the guest wing..."

"Why do you have such a weird smile on your face?" Kara asked.

"No reason!" Alex said with a laugh.

"Hmmm...I could use my freeze breath to torture you..."

"It's nothing, Kara, I promise. I just...accidentally attacked Sam in one of the guest rooms. I couldn't help it."

"You...what!?"

"Sorry, no Kara, of course I didn't really attack her! I just sort of pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. One thing led to another..."

"Stop!" Kara called out. "The 'no details' goes both ways, sis!"

"Right, sorry. Anyway, Sam was amazing. It was a nice evening. It ended way too soon." Alex said wistfully.

"I'm so happy for you Alex! You really deserved an awesome date." Kara said.

"Well, it was quite an experience. I don't mean just the...sex. I mean, what it was like to go out and to just be on a date. We didn't try to pretend we weren't together. If we wanted to hold hands, or kiss, we did. We just acted like what we were doing was perfectly normal."

"Alex, it was perfectly normally!" Kara exclaimed.

"I know, Kara. It's just been...well, after all that time trying to hide, it was such an amazing feeling not to even try."

"Wow. I'm so happy for you, Alex."

"Thanks. I have to admit, it made me think a lot about what I want. And one thing I want is to be out. Fuck all of this being in the closet bullshit! I'm going to tell Mom and Dad. I want them to know so that if they hear something about me being gay, well, they heard it from me first."

"In that case you better tell them tomorrow! After that date near such a small town, well, you know how people talk."

"Honestly, I don't care. It's so freeing to just be yourself, I don't care anymore. But I will talk to them soon."

"I'm so happy for you, Alex!" Kara said excitedly. "I've been wanting that for you for so long."

"Thanks Kara." Alex said. "I have to say, my short time with Sam has really made a difference to me."

"So that's it? You're not going to stay in touch?"

"Oh, we're going to stay in touch. We talked about it a lot. We'd tried to come up with some way that we might be able to pursue a relationship. Ultimately, it just doesn't work. We're so far apart. Who knows when she might come back to Midvale? And how often would I actually be able to go there? It just...doesn't work."

"I'm so sorry, Alex."

"It's OK, Kara. I promise." Alex said with conviction. "Even if I don't see her again, I'm so grateful for the time I had with her. She really changed my outlook on life."

"Wow. That's just...wow." Kara said thoughtfully. "That's really wonderful, Alex."

"Yeah. I mean, I admit, I miss her already. But it's OK. I'll deal with it. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything."

Kara came over to Alex's bed and squeezed her hand. "You'll always have me."

"Thanks, Kara. That means the world to me."

They sat quietly together for a while before Alex began to ask questions about Kara's night. She was a bit shocked to learn they had sex in Kara's truck.

"What? Wow...I, I didn't even know...how did that happen?"

"Well, I just asked her. I told her I wanted her to be my first. Because she had always been so accepting and even enthusiastic about my differences. Who knows how long it will be before I meet someone like that?"

"Kara, it's not that big a deal..." Alex started.

"Alex, don't bother. I'm not that naive. At least not anymore."

"Sorry, Kara." Alex said. "I just...I guess I just wish it wasn't that big of a deal. And I promise there will be people who don't think it it."

"It's OK, Alex. It really is OK." Kara said. "It's not easy, but I can handle it."

"But don't you think it's going to make it harder for you now that you've..."

"Honestly? Well, yes. I can't stop thinking about it. But, you know what? I don't care. It was such an incredible experience. I'll never regret it. I really...learned a lot about myself. And about Lena."

"It doesn't make you want to stay together more than before?"

"I still want us to be together, more than anything. But not any more than before we had sex. I want her with all my heart. It's not just about sex. But I also understand that she's made her decision. And I've accepted that."

"I'm so proud of you, Kara. You've come through one of the most difficult things a person has to deal with. And you've done it with such integrity and strength."

"Thanks, Alex. I'm really Ok. It hurts a lot right now, but I wouldn't trade my time with Lena to get rid of this pain. I'm going to make it through just fine."

"I know that. I know that. I'm sorry for trying to stop you from following your heart. You have a strong and smart heart. If you listen to it you'll be good."

Kara squeezed Alex's hand tightly. "So...I guess they're off tomorrow."

"Yes. They're leaving at the crack-ass of dawn."

"Ouch." Kara said.

"Yeah, It's going to suck. But it's OK. You have to take the good with the bad."

"Ugh. Is there any situation where there isn't some annoying phrase to go with it?" Kara laughed.

"No. It's the beauty of being human. Just embrace it!" Alex said. 

"OK, sis. You win. I.will.as-sim-i-late." Kara said in her best robot voice.

Alex laughed and squeezed Kara's hand. "Never." She said thoughtfully. 

***

The next day the sisters decided to go on a hike together to take their minds off the Wicklow Academy women who had turned their worlds upside down in such a brief time. That weekend they made an effort to spend a lot of time together, knowing that no one else really knew what they were going through. As they got back to school after break they dove into their school work and many extra-curricular activities. For Alex it had only been a few days with Sam, and she was having a much easier time than Kara. Still, it helped for them to have each other to lean on. 

Alex did come out to her parents. They were completely surprised, but they weren't upset. They assured her that they loved her no matter what. They wanted to help, wanted to know if there was anything they could do to make things easier on her. They knew it might not always be easy for her in Midvale.

A few weeks after they went back to school Sam called Alex to tell her that Lena had changed her phone number. They were still texting and talked on the phone now and then. They enjoyed flirty conversations, but ultimately ended in frustration in the realization that nothing could come of it. When Alex called Sam told her that during a 'family' trip to Metropolis Lena had caught Lex with her phone and got really worried that he had read Kara's messages. She went through and deleted everything but decided that it was best to eliminate the connection. She didn't want there to be any chance that Lex could discover Kara through her. She wanted Kara to know that she wouldn't be able to call her, except through Sam and Alex. Lena was not moving Kara's contact info to her new phone, just in case.

That information hit Kara like a ton of bricks. She had accepted that she wasn't supposed to call Lena. But the fact that she no longer had Lena's number and Lena no longer had her made her angry. Not so much angry with Lena, but angry with the situation. She also felt that Lena was being overly cautious, maybe even coming up with an excuse because she was having a hard time not calling her. She wished Lena had called her and told her herself. But she realized that would have re-created some connection to whatever phone she used, so if she was so worried about making that break then it made sense not to call.

It was only a week later when the sisters were driving by the ranch and saw a 'For Sale' sign up on the main road to the ranch. When Kara saw it her heart dropped to her stomach. She felt nauseous, and couldn't stop herself from crying. It felt like the last straw of her connection to Lena was breaking.

"Do you think there really was something to Lena's worries about Lex finding something on her phone? That he found my messages and realized she had a relationship with a ranch hand?" She asked Alex.

"Who knows. It could be something else."

"Lena said that her father could put the place up for sale at any point without even discussing it with her. Almost like she was expecting that. I really hope I didn't do anything to make this happen. Lena always said this was the one place that felt like home. And she loved riding so much."

"Well, we may never know. The bad news is that it looks like our girls won't have much of a reason to come back to Midvale. I'll call Sam tonight and see if she knows anything." Alex said, disappointed.

When Alex called Sam she said that Lena wasn't sure if selling the ranch meant that her parents had figured out about Lena and Kara's relationship. When they told Lena they said they were selling because the real estate market was really strong. But Lena knew they didn't need the money and her parents knew the place was special to her. Lena begged them not to do it, but they were decided. In Sam's opinion it didn't make sense that they were suddenly selling if they didn't have suspicions.

In the end, as far as Danvers sisters were concerned, it didn't really matter why. The result was the same. Lena and Sam weren't coming back.

***  
Kara kept herself busy as much as possible. She found that the more she did, the less time she had to think about Lena. At some point she realized how good it was that she didn't have Lena's number. There were many times when it would have been really hard not to call for what would have been some pointless and painful conversation. The ranch sold about a month after the sign went up. Kara helped Cisco and some of the other hands as they prepared the horses for transport to new owners. Kara was devastated to watch some of her favorite horses hauled away in trailers.

Once the horses were all gone Kara lost her job. She didn't mind not having the extra money, but she really missed getting to spend time with the horses and riding regularly. It left her more time to focus on the school paper. Half way through the semester the spring rugby season started. Kara continued managing the team and sometimes traveled on overnight tournament trips on the weekend. There weren't many high school women's rugby teams and so they would regularly travel far to reach other teams to play against. They were a motley crew, but they loved rugby and they were a tight knit bunch. Kara and Susan got to be closer during all the time spent together at practices and road trips. As they talked about relationships and intimacy, at some point Kara told Susan about her not-typically-human biology. Susan reacted really well and that was a big relief to Kara. It was really good to have another friend who knew and accepted her as she was.

During that semester Kara, Alex, and Winn were able to help Siobhan get out of her relationship with Morgan. Winn spent a lot of time with her, talking through all that she had experienced, telling her how she deserved better, and finally convincing her to break up with him. Alex was the one who talked to Morgan and explained all that she would do through her connections with school authorities if he tried to get back with her. The kicker was when she told him that Kara might accidentally break his right hand if he came near Siobhan again.

Together they found they were a good team. It was so empowering to all three of them that they had been able to make a difference. To really help someone who was in need. Siobhan moved on with her life, and Morgan continued as quarterback with his hand intact. That experience more than anything helped Kara move through her feelings about Lena. It felt so good to be able to use her strength to make things better for people. She longed to do more.

Through her physics class Kara made a new friend - a brilliant kid with a shy smile named Kenny. He had his own telescope and they started spending time at night gazing at the stars and talking about life. She loved being out under the stars and learning about them from the Earth's perspective, which was very different from Krypton. One night Kenny almost kissed her, but Kara shied away. Lena was still so prevalent in her thoughts, it didn't seem right to lead Kenny on. But it gave her hope that some day she might be ready.

When Kenny was suddenly found dead, Kara's focus moved full-time to figuring out what happened to him. Alex also joined in, telling Kara that Kenny had helped her pass calculus and hadn't told anyone about it. He was her friend too, even if she hadn't been very open about it, which she regreted. Kara told Alex everything she knew about Kenny and they also spoke with his parents. They tried to talk to the police but they refused to discuss the case with them. Together they began re-tracing his steps on the night he was killed. Kara used her x-ray vision in the forest near where he was found and discovered his laptop hidden under leaves, but they weren't able to open files that were encrypted and obviously important for understanding what Kenny had been doing during his final days.

At that point they reached out to Winn to hack Kenny's laptop. They discovered incriminating photos of several people in town. The closer they got to the truth the more dangerous it became. Late one night someone tried to run them off a bridge. Kara was able to move Alex to safety grabbing her and jumping off the bridge before impact. When Alex tried to talk to the sheriff about it, he forced her by gun point to the basement of the school, demanding she tell him where the laptop was and threatening to kill her if she didn't. Fortunately Kara was able to come in time, breaking through the cement walls to reach Alex and save her life again. It turned out the sheriff was a dirty cop making money on drugs. Kenny had evidence against him and that's why he had been killed. 

That night the sheriff was arrested. Later Alex and Kara talked through the whole thing in amazement. They couldn't believe they were able to solve the crime and bring the cop to justice. It didn't matter that they weren't getting credit. They were inspired to realize how much they could do together. From then on they looked for opportunities to solve mysteries and help other students who found themselves in tough, unjust situations. Between Kara, Alex, Winn, and eventually James, they made quite a team. Sometimes they used the power of the paper to get the word out, sometimes they used hacking to expose secrets and get info they needed, and sometimes there was no alternative but to use Kara's powers, which they did as discretely as possible. Eventually Kara told James and Winn her secret. They reacted as any American high school kid might to meeting an alien - they were beyond excited and swore to keep her secret. When they eventually learned she was related to Superman they dubbed themselves the "Superfriends" and were always there to help whenever Alex and Kara needed them. Kara put as much energy as she could into their clandestine activities. It was one thing that really took enough of her focus to take her mind off of thinking about Lena.

After school ended for the summer Kara suddenly had a lot of time on her hands. There was no school, no rugby, no paper, no ranch. No Lena. She still spent more time than she wanted thinking about her. She found the more free time she had, the more time she had to focus on wondering how she was and what she might be doing. She decided to take summer courses at the local college with the hope that she may even be able to graduate a semester early. She was already feeling she was ready to get on to bigger and better things. 

She wanted to do more than just school work though, and did some research online looking for something fun. Eventually she found an instensive scuba diving course available not far from Midvale. She thought about how it felt to be completely under water. She could stay under longer than humans, and after a few seconds the water isolated her from her senses. It muted her sense of touch and hearing, even her sight. Deep under water maybe she could find some peace for a little while. After her first lesson she loved it. Deep under water with her scuba gear she could escape most stimuli and get a break from all the chaos of her world. Scuba diving was her new favorite thing.

Alex spent her summer volunteering at the hospital. She enjoyed learning about how things worked and seeing what doctors and nurses do with their time. She was working one day early in the summer when one of the stars of Midvale's women's basketball team came in with a broken arm. She was a tall, beautiful woman named Julia. She had a severe break and she ended up staying a couple of days in the hospital. Alex didn't really know her before, but started taking her snacks so that she wasn't stuck eating only the horrible hospital food. Alex enjoyed getting to know her and Julia seemed glad for the food and the company. Julia was released after a couple of days, but Alex was already smitten. They texted now and then for the rest of the summer. Once they were back at school in the fall Alex got up the nerve to ask her out. Julia had never dated a girl before, but she found she couldn't say no to Alex. Before long they were dating exclusively and Alex found herself becoming a basketball fan. Sometimes she would drag Kara along to the games so she could watch her girlfriend kick ass. It turned out Kara loved watching basketball, even though it made her sad to think she couldn't play. She also loved seeing Alex so happy, cheering on her girl.

When things got more serious Julia and Alex had to deal with some drama. Julia never wanted to hide her relationship with Alex and as more of her friends and family found out there were a couple of bad reactions. Julia handled it well, not allowing it to get to her but often she would vent to Alex about her frustrations. Alex was always there for her and looked for ways to help. 

That fall at school Kara dedicated herself even more to her work on the school paper. Before the end of the school year that spring she had been promoted to copy editor. Now she was angling to be one of the lead writers and became very involved in developing stories. She and James spent a lot of time together hashing through ideas for stories, especially for the paper's investigative series. The more time they spent together the more she appreciated his morality and drive to inform students about issues that were important and relevant to them. 

When James eventually asked her out she felt like she was ready. He made her laugh and really forget about things when they were together. He thought up wonderful dates and loved to listen to her talk. He had a beautiful smile and laugh. After a few dates they started holding hands and kissing. When Kara caught herself unbuttoning his shirt during a heated make out session she realized she needed to talk to him before things went further. She backed off immediately and made an excuse to get away. She needed to tell him about her different biology before he discovered it for himself. She couldn't bear the thought of him being surprised and reacting badly.

When she finally got the nerve to tell him, he was extremely sweet and understanding. He made every effort to assure Kara that there was nothing wrong with the way she was. But, ultimately, he explained that he wasn't the right person for her sexually. He said he wouldn't be able to be with her that way. It was just as she had always feared, that many people wouldn't be able to handle her differences. She was devastated for a while, but she really did understand where James was coming from. And she really appreciated how he handled it. He assured her he wouldn't tell anyone and she trusted him. They continued spending a lot of time together and loved each other as friends, they just stopped pursuing the romantic side of their relationship.

As time went on life got steadily easier for her. Still, she hadn't really been interested in dating anyone else after James rejected her. Partly it was complicated since she was afraid of 'coming out' to people about her biology if she started dating. James had been really nice about it, but ultimately they stopped seeing each other because of it. And partly there was just no one who could come close to Lena, and she knew that.

Time started going by more quickly for Kara. Before she knew it, it was Christmas and then New Year's, and then suddenly it had been over a year since she'd seen or heard from Lena. The holiday season made her think more of Lena and their time together more. But she'd reached the point that when she thought of Lena it was more sentimental than painful.

When rugby started up again that spring she had an opportunity to become assistant coach rather than manager. At that point she knew as much about the game as the coach, who was pretty new to the game. Once she was assistant she was required to be at all the games, so she began traveling almost every weekend with the team. She spent a lot of time with Susan, whose girlfriend had broken up with her over the holiday break. She felt her experience with Lena really helped her be able to give good advice to Susan as she worked through it.

One night they were coming back very late at night from a road trip and they were sitting together in the back of the van. Kara had fallen asleep with her head on Susan's lap when she started having as intense dream. At that point she had mostly stopped dreaming about Lena, but every now and then it still happened. 

In her dream she was flying east, across the country to Lena's school. She realized she was enjoying the flight, excited about the idea of seeing Lena then suddenly she was in a tree right outside Lena's dorm, just like she used to do when she hung out in a tree right outside of Lena's bedroom at the mansion. Lena immediately opened her window, like she'd been waiting on Kara to arrive.

"Come here, Supergirl." Lena's voice sounded so sexy in her dream. She barely made it through the window before Lena was on her, pressing her against her bedroom wall and kissing her hard.

"God I've missed you." Lena said. Kara didn't seem to be able to speak in the dream. But she did manage to kiss back, and then lifted Lena's legs to wrap them around her waist and carry her to her bed. In the dream Kara was already fully hard and when she picked Lena up her center rubbed tightly against Kara's cock. Lena started grinding and moaning at the feeling of her hardness. Just as she was easing Lena down on the bed, Kara jolted awake. It took her a minute to figure out where she was, and then she realized she was painfully hard. She sat up quickly and looked over to see if Susan had noticed. Kara's eyes were wide as she turned to see Susan looking at her, not with shock but concern.

XXX

"Kara, it's OK." Susan whispered. "Just relax, you're fine. It's just me."

Kara looked down, willing her erection to go away. She was hurting but there was nothing she could do and nowhere to go. Susan looked furtively around at the teammates, all alseep in a range of uncomfortable positions in other seats. 

"You know, maybe I could help you..." Susan whispered.

"What...what do you mean?"

"I just mean, everyone's sound asleep, except for the driver. And she's way up front with the radio on."

"I don't understand." Kara said, confused. Susan reached across the seat and gently rubbed Kara's bulge. "I just mean I could help you. If you want..."

Kara jolted at the touch and started to move Susan's hand away. No one had touched her that way in over a year and she remembered how different it was when it was someone else rather than her own hand. As she reached for Susan's hand to push it away, she found herself instead rubbing the back of it encouragingly. Susan smiled at that and then began to stroke Kara's cock up and down through her shorts. Kara shut her eyes tight and concentrated on not making any noise. Susan then slipped her hand under the waist band of her shorts and briefs and teased her fingers over the tip of Kara's cock. She used her pre-cum to ease down to the base. The feeling of skin to skin contact was even more intense. Kara gripped the seat hard to keep herself from moving. As Susan began to stroke faster, Kara suddenly came hard inside her shorts with muffled grunt. 

Susan grinned and pulled back her hand. She cleaned it up quickly with a handkerchief. "Wow, that was a lot." She said.

Kara looked at her with amazement. "Susan, I..."

"Kara, it's not a big deal. Please don't get worked up. Maybe you can return the favor sometime. Or not. You're not obligated to do anything. I just...wanted to help."

As they reached the edge of town there were streetlights bringing light into the van where it had been pitch black. One of the teammates in another seat stirred.

"Look, let's talk about it tomorrow. Just relax, there's nothing to worry about. We didn't do anything wrong." Susan said.

Kara was completely mystified, but Susan seemed genuinely not worried about it. Kara decided it was probably best to talk later now that others were starting to wake up.

Kara dug into her bag and pulled on some sweats over her shorts. What the hell just happened? She had a lot to think about. She hoped Alex was still awake when she got home.


	33. The Night is Yours Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena POV! Short but sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter refers to non-Supercorp smut but it is not described.

Lena sat in her dorm room gazing out at the quad. It was covered in a light snow, and she couldn't help but be grateful for it. It felt clean and looked so very different than Midvale, where she had been just days before. It had been a marathon driving trip crossing the country with Sam. With that on top of the emotional upheaval she had gone through, she was exhausted. Fortunately her parents had paid extra for her to have a single dorm room, so she didn't need to interact with anyone there. Just as that thought crossed her mind her phone buzzed. Veronica.

Out of habit she answered, then quickly regretted the reaction. Since early days at Wicklow, apart from her relationship during her freshman year, Lena had enjoyed spending time with Veronica. Physically and mentally they really clicked. She never deluded herself into thinking it would be more than sex, but the sex part was really good and she was glad to have a go to person when she was feeling lonely. _This is definitely one of those times _, she thought to herself.__

__Without a greeting Veronica went immediately to complaints about all the time she had to spend with her family over break. Normally Lena would commiserate, but today she just felt irritated. Veronica's family clearly loved her and wanted to spend time with her, it was just that she had no interest. So her family wanting to spend time with her over break had only annoyed her. When Lena thought about how lucky Veronica was to have a family that cared that much, it only served to make her feel worse._ _

__"Lena, are you listening?" Veronica asked when she realized she wasn't getting her usual encouragement and support for her complaining._ _

__"Sorry, yes, I'm just...exhausted."_ _

__"Hmmm, maybe I should come over and help you relax." Veronica said huskily. "I haven't seen you in weeks. We have a lot of catching up to do."_ _

__"I'd love that, just...not tonight. I really am too tired. Sam and I just drove across the country in 2 days."_ _

__"No worries, love, next time." Veronica said breezily. They hung up not long after._ _

__As Lena hung up she realized she never wanted fuck Veronica again. Veronica was gorgeous, and exciting, and sexually they worked really well together. But she was also cold, and cruel, and Lena knew she would turn on her in a heartbeat if it worked to her advantage._ _

__"I'm so fucked." Lena said out loud to herself. She realized that it wasn't going to be easy to go back to her shallow, careless flings at school. It was a depressing thought and she felt the little energy she had left draining away. She took off her jeans and climbed into bed, skipping her night time ritual to fall into sleep and try to escape her thoughts of Kara._ _

__She went to sleep right away and slept deeply for hours until she woke up in the middle of the night, having no idea where she was. She peered into the dark and tried to figure out what bed she was in. She quickly realized she was alone, and felt a cold stabbing feeling in her gut as she remembered she wouldn't be seeing or talking to Kara again._ _

__As she drifted back to sleep Kara visited her in her dreams, sliding into bed with her and easing her hands around her from behind. Lena shifted back against her, seeking her warmth. Kara moved tighter in response, her strong arms tightening around her stomach and moving her lips against Lena's neck, whispering how much she loved her, how badly she wanted Lena. In her dreams Lena could feel Kara's tongue moving from the place her shoulder met her neck, up to the base of her ear, teasing her and nipping at her earlobe. Lena giggled in response and shifted back against Kara. At that point she could feel Kara, so hard against her ass. When she felt that she started grinding her hips back against her._ _

__"God, I want you so much. Please, Kara..." Lena jerked awake when she said Kara's name out loud. As she came out of her dream she rolled on to her back, staring at the ceiling._ _

__"I'm so fucked." She said to herself again._ _

__***_ _

__Lena had a hard time getting back into her groove. She no longer felt like chasing the latest thing, trying for new sexual conquests. She still had occasional meaningless hookups that she thoroughly enjoyed while it lasted. But afterwards she just felt empty and she wanted the other person gone as quickly as possible. It was the after part that discouraged her from her usual pattern of bringing new faces frequently to her bed._ _

__In general Lena was irritable, and avoided many of the social gatherings that she would normally have loved, and been at the center of attention. Sam eventually confronted her about the changes._ _

__"Sam, I'm fine. I just need to focus more time on my studies. It's really important that I have top grades as I enter my senior year if I want to get in to one of the best schools."_ _

__"Seriously? How is it you plan to get higher than straight A's?"_ _

__"What I mean is, I need to focus on my extra-curricular activities. I need to think more about improving my resume for college applications."_ _

__"Right." Sam said, obviously not buying it. Sam then gave a litany of examples of how different Lena was acting._ _

__"OK, I just...what can I say? I'm having a hard time. A meaningless fuck has become significantly less appealing after spending so much time with Kara." Lena looked at Sam, searching her eyes for an indication of how Kara was doing. Sam didn't offer anything._ _

__"So, has Alex said anything...?"_ _

__"About Kara? Not really. I know she misses you terribly. But remember than she already started the process of letting you go, long before you left Midvale. She'd already stopped allowing herself to call you when she wanted. Even when you got back...together, briefly...that was a surprise that she didn't expect and knew wouldn't continue."_ _

__"So, it didn't actually take her very long to move on." Lena said. "I'm glad. I really do only want the best for her. I just...miss her."_ _

__"That's not what I'm saying at all. She misses you too. But you can't keep telling someone there is no hope and then expect them to keep waiting. At some point it just doesn't work anymore."_ _

__"I know, I know. I just...god, I really just want to call her. I just want to hear her voice."_ _

__"Lena, I support you calling her if there is something you need to work out, or if you've changed your mind about trying to be together. But if you're just calling because you miss her, and want to hear her voice...well, that's really not fair to her. Or to you."_ _

__Lena sat quietly, resenting Sam's logic. She knew she was right. And yet, she really, really just wanted to call Kara._ _

__"Fuck!" She yelled out._ _

__"Come on, Lena. Let's go out and get fucked up. You need a distraction and we're going to find it."_ _

__***_ _

__Lena woke up the next day with some anonymous boy in her bed. She ran to the bathroom to throw up, then brushed her teeth and came out to face him. She looked at him and vaguely remembered meeting him the night before. He was very attractive, and she could see how he ended up in her bed. But she couldn't remember his name, or really anything they had talked about. All she knew now was that she wanted him gone. She went and shook him by the shoulder._ _

__"Dude! Dude, you need to go."_ _

__When it took too long for him to sit up and keep his eyes open Lena yanked the pillow out from under his head. The boy looked up at her in surprise._ _

__"Time to go!" Lena said loudly. He finally seemed to realize he had to move._ _

__"What? What time is it?" He said as he looked around, confused._ _

__"Time. to. go." Lena said with deadly certainty. At that he started to figure out where he was and find his clothes. Once he was sufficiently clothed Lena shoved him towards the door and got him through it. Once he was in the hall her turned to face her, still a bit in a daze._ _

__"Wait, can I call you? Can I have your number?"_ _

__"Sure. It's 1. I'm number one. Be sure to look me up if you want to hang out again." At that Lena slammed the door and dove back on to her bed. She reached for her phone and, like she had so many times before, pulled up Kara's contact. She longed to hear her voice. She tried to convince herself there was no harm in it. She'd been the one to say they shouldn't be in touch, not Kara. There wouldn't be any harm in just talking. Eventually she called Sam instead._ _

__"Lena! What are you doing awake this early on a weekend?" Lena was quiet on the other end of the phone. "Come on, let's go get coffee."_ _

__When Lillian called to insist she meet the family in Metropolis for the weekend she was actually relieved at the distraction. That weekend when she caught Lex with her phone she knew immediately she had to remove that connection. It was too risky for Kara. She also knew it was best for herself, to help her move on and stop thinking about trying to call Kara. She started to call her to explain and realized even that was going to be difficult for them both. When she got back to school she asked Sam to let Kara know through Alex that she had gotten a new phone and hadn't moved her info over to it. Kara no longer had her number and she couldn't call Kara._ _

__"It seems extreme, but if that's what you need to do..." Sam said._ _

__"It's not extreme. Lex is the one who's extreme. You should see some of the sites he's looking at. Some of the things he's saying in emails. He wasn't the only one snooping this weekend."_ _

__"How serious is it? Maybe you should tell the authorities. Or at least your parents."_ _

__"It's nothing that merits reporting to the police. And I don't think my parents will care, and there's not much they can do even if they did. There's nothing I can do, except whatever I can to protect Kara. I can't bear to put her at risk."_ _

__"Are you sure this isn't about helping you move on, so you aren't tempted to call her?"_ _

__"It's really not. But in that sense I do think it's for the best. Anyway, will you please just...let her know?"_ _

__"Of course. I'll call Alex tonight."_ _

__"So how is it with Alex?"_ _

__"It's good. I mean, it sucks that we can't be together, but I'm glad we can still talk. It's fun to catch up with her now and then. I really love just talking with her."_ _

__"That's great, Sam. I know it can't really work that way for Kara and me. It will get away from us too quickly. It's not going to help either of us move on."_ _

__"I think you're probably right, Lena. You two had a lot more time together and were much more attached. I know being separated has been really hard on both of you. But you do seem like you're doing better lately. Don't you think?"_ _

__"Yes, it is getting easier. I guess it just takes time. Still, there's no changing the fact that I'll never meet someone like her again. Now that I know there is someone like her out there, it just, makes everyone else pale in comparison."_ _

__"Hey, what about me?" Sam said in mock shock._ _

__"Present company excepted, of course."_ _

__"Of course. But seriously, Lena, you can't just say there's no one out there and shut down. Now that you've let yourself feel something for Kara, or at least weren't able to stop yourself, doesn't that make you want to be open to a relationship? There's so much more out there for you. You deserve so much more than a one night stand. You have so much more to give. And receive."_ _

__"I don't know. Not right now. Maybe someday, I'll be ready. Right now I want to focus on school and my research. Being productive is a good way to take my mind off things and prepare for the future. There's so much more out there. This place is just...so boring now."_ _

__"You're right. There's so much more out there for both of us. We just gotta get through next year and then on to bigger and better things."_ _

__"I can't wait." Lena said glumly._ _

__***_ _

__When Lillian told her they were selling the farm, she didn't even bother to protest. She immediately hung up and called her father and begged him not to go through with it. When he refused to even consider it, giving her some lame excuse about the housing market, she was sure something was up. She called Lex and demanded to know what was going on. He was equally evasive. Worse, he didn't even seem to care that they were selling._ _

__Once she got off the phone she called Sam to tell her. Sam was disappointed as well, thinking there might be a chance to visit Lena there some day and be able to catch up with Alex. Lena was truly hurt, feeling like the one place that felt like home, and her last connection with Kara torn away._ _

__"This is my punishment for getting involved with a 'ranch hand'" Lena said, sadly. "This is exactly what I was afraid of. I just hope Lex didn't see anything to make him suspicious of Kara, beyond a secret relationship."_ _

__"I'm sorry, Lena. You don't deserve this."_ _

__"I know, and honestly I'm sick of this crap from my family. I can't wait to get out there and make my own way. I hate that I'm still dependent on them."_ _

__"It won't be long, Lena. You just have to stick it out through college and get out in the real world. You don't need them. You're so much better than them."_ _

__"I know. But I can't help but want them. I still want their approval. Even their love. I know it's stupid."_ _

__"It's not stupid. Of course you want that. We all do. The question is what we do about it. And what we're going to do about it is just keep going. Keep going after what we want. We're going to break away and when we do, who knows, maybe they'll come around. Either way, it gets better."_ _

__"Thanks, Sam. It really helps to be able to talk to you. I can't tell you how much."_ _

__"Lena, I'm always here for you. Just like you're always here for me."_ _

__"Always." Lena said, squeezing her hand._ _

__***_ _

__Things did get better for Lena as time went on. That summer she got a fantastic internship at the Institut Curie in Paris. She got a chance to learn a lot of new lab skills by assisting researchers with repetitive, simple tasks in order to save them time for more important work. Getting a glimpse of what she might someday get a chance to be doing herself was a real inspiration to her. Her senior year could not go by fast enough for her. She got into all the colleges she applied to, but ultimately decided the Massachusetts Institute of Technology was the best place for her. Sam was able to fulfill her dream of going to Harvard, which meant that their campuses were just a mile apart._ _

__They both thrived in college, finally able to get intellectual challenges they craved. New worlds were opening up for both of them. Even though the were just down the road from each other, they both got very busy and they spent less time together than they imagined they would. Still, they were always there for each other whenever needed. As they both excelled in their own worlds, their friendship stayed strong._ _

__During her sophomore year Lena landed a research assistantship where she had the chance to help graduate students and professors with exciting biomedical research. She continued with her occasional one night stands to fill a need now and then, and for a distraction from the stress and high pressure of school and research. Once she started her assistantship she found herself working late hours in the lab to be able to squeeze in all the studying for her more than full load and what she wanted to get done in the lab. She made friends with another assistant, Lana, who was also often there late hours and weekends. Lana was always interested in what Lena was working on in the lab and asked about her classes. She was good at making Lena laugh when she was tired and frustrated. Lena really enjoyed her company, yet somehow it surprised her when she looked up from her microscope late one night to find Lana staring at her with an odd expression. Lena knew that look._ _

__"Lana, is everything all right?" Lena asked._ _

__"Of course, I just...you look really tired. Do you want to go grab a bite, or some coffee?"_ _

__Lena was never very patient with the pre-games. She liked to cut to the chase and could see what Lana really wanted._ _

__"Umm, if you want to...take a break, we can go to my room. I have a single, so, no roommate."_ _

__"Lena! I was just asking if you wanted to grab a bite, not if you would have sex with me."_ _

__"Come on, this isn't my first time around the block. I know what you really want."_ _

__"Jeez, I just...well, yeah, maybe that is something I'm interested in, eventually. I admit I'm extremely attracted to you. But not just physically. I'm very attracted to your brain, Lena. You're brilliant, and funny, and kind, and...well, I'd like to get to know you better. Outside of work I mean."_ _

__"So, let me get this straight. You are passing up on sex with me, so that we can go get pancakes?"_ _

__"Wait, who said anything about pancakes? And straight isn't the adjective I would use!" Lana laughed. "It's not that I'm passing up on sex with you, at least I hope not. I just...I'd like to take you on a date. Dates. I want to go out with you, I want to spend time with you. And yes, eventually I would really love to have sex with you. I just, don't want to jump the gun and mess things up. What can I say, I'm a bit old-fashioned."_ _

__Lena sat quietly with a smirk on her face for a while. "OK." She said after an interminable amount of time passed._ _

__"OK? You mean we can go out?!"_ _

__"Yes. But I get to chose the place. I'm an expert on after midnight pancakes in this town."_ _

__"Anything you want, Lena." She said, beaming from ear to ear._ _


	34. Nobody's Crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV. This picks up the day after the late night rugby road trip. At the end of the trip Susan offered to give Kara a hand with a her "hard" situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter contains non-Supercorp smut.

The next day Kara asked Susan if they could talk after practice. They both hung around until finally the rest of the team cleared out of the locker room.

"Kara, about last night, sorry if I freaked you out. I just, I could see you were in pain and wanted to help, that's all. I've always been a bit curious..."

Kara looked at her with wide eyes but said nothing.

Susan went on. "Look, Kara, I'm not looking to change our friendship. You know Megan and I were together for over a year and a half. I'm not ready for a romantic relationship right now. But I do feel lonely and...horny, sometimes. I know you're not seeing anyone right now, maybe you feel the same way. Maybe we could...just help each other out."

"Susan, you mean, you don't want a relationship, but you want to...what, exactly?"

"I don't know. We'd have to figure that out together."

"You don't like me?"

"Of course I like you, Kara. I love you, in fact, but as a friend. I don't want us to date. But maybe we could explore some things together. But only if that's something you want too, obviously."

Kara was quiet again, overwhelmed by the idea.

"Kara, I admit I had a terrible crush on you when you arrived in Midvale. But that changed when I got involved with Megan. Honestly, I wouldn't want to risk our friendship to try to date. I just don't see us that way any more."

"What if we start...whatever...and one of us develops feelings for the other one?"

"That's why we just have to talk and be honest. Especially if something changes for one of us."

Kara was still amazed at the idea. It just never occurred to her to try a something like that. She had to admit, she really did miss being physical with another person. It had been well over a year since she'd been with Lena. And not much had come from her time with James. She decided they could trust each other enough to give it a try.

"You swear you'll tell me if your feelings...started to change?" Kara asked.

"Of course, yes, Kara. You're pretty convinced of yourself aren't you? That you are so irresistible?" Susan teased her. "What makes you so sure you won't fall for me?"

"I don't mean it that way...I just...it sounds too easy. Everyone keeps telling me how sex can be so tied with emotions. I just don't want us to mess anything up between us."

"It definitely can be. When I was with Megan sex was very emotional for me. But it doesn't have to be. There is such a thing as 'friends with benefits'. But if it's not the right thing for you, then we can go right back to things as they were."

"Can I think about it? It's just...a lot."

"Of course, Kara. Whatever you decide is totally fine. Think about how you feel. Talk it over with your sister." Susan smiled knowingly. "Get back to me whenever. There is no wrong answer."

It wasn't long before Kara and Susan were having a follow up conversation once the locker room cleared out after practice. They talked about what they wanted, and what they didn't want. They both agreed kissing on the mouth was too intimate. What they both wanted was a way to deal with their horniness outside a romantic relationship that neither felt ready for. They agreed that if either of them started to feel differently, either that they were becoming romantically interested in each other, or in someone else, that they would talk about it together right away.

After the terms were decided, Kara didn't waste any time in paying Susan back. She had her out of her pants and laid out on the locker room bench within minutes of their handshake to seal the deal. Kara felt awkward being on the owing end of a sexual situation. Susan didn't seem to mind at all as she called out to the ceiling with Kara's tongue thrusting rapidly between her legs. One thing Kara had discovered about herself in the back of the van was that she liked the thrill of near-public sex, with high risk of discovery. Fortunately it wasn't a problem for Susan. She'd been out since her freshman year, and she wasn't worried about being exposed. 

"Fuck, Danvers! I think you've done this before." Susan said after she recovered from her orgasm. "Who was it? I've never known you to have a girlfriend."

"It's a long story. But don't you think there are better things I could be doing with my mouth?" Kara asked with a smile as she slid Susan's shirt up and took a nipple between her teeth.

"Oh my god, yes." She moaned. It wasn't long before Kara had fingered her into another orgasm. Susan laid flat on the bench trying to catch her breath.

"Your turn." Susan said and started to reach for Kara's shorts.

"No, not right now. Kara took her hand and held it. Just...relax and enjoy yourself. This is not a quid-pro-quo situation."

"Wow, look at you breaking out the Latin!"

"I find it a lot more logical than English." 

"That's your problem, you shouldn't try to make sense or figure out the rules of English. That will only lead to heartbreak." Susan laughed.

"Well, we should get out of here." Kara said.

"Yeah, I have to get home. But you're not off the hook. I had fun with you in the van and I'm going to catch up with you eventually." Susan said with a grin.

***

Kara and Susan had fun looking for opportunities to get each other off in unusual, somewhat risky situations. Kara reveled in improving her skills, which she could tell she was doing. At first Susan was mainly using her hands, but one day when they were hiding out in a closet in the art room during lunch period Kara's mouth dropped open as she watched Susan drop to her knees, looking up at her with a smirk. Kara gasped as Susan opened the button of her jeans and eased her zipper down. 

"Oh, fuck! Are you sure..."

"Shut up, Kara. I'm concentrating here..." Susan moved her fingers inside Kara's pants and briefs and eased her cock out. Susan seemed a bit taken aback by it. She had her hands around Kara plenty of times, but having her steadily hardening cock inches from her face was something different. She gave the tip a tentative lick. Kara found herself reaching for Susan's hair automatically, but kept herself from using any force. Another benefit of their regular trysts was she was getting a lot better at controlling her impulses and much better able to avoid having erections in awkward situations. She felt much more in control than she ever had with Lena and it was giving her more confidence. She waited as Susan seemed to be pondering the situation. 

"It's OK, Sue. You don't always have to finish what you start. I know I'm big. Don't do anything you don't want to do."

"I really do want to. I'm curious about how...it works. But what happens if you..."

"You mean if I cum? I have something in my jacket I can use, if you don't want it in your mouth."

"Ha! That's very considerate of you! Have you been planning for this?" Susan laughed.

"No! Of course not. I've just learned to...be prepared for different situations." Kara's cock was now straining and full due to their discussion about whether or not she was getting a blow job. But Kara knew she was in complete control. Her feelings were so different with Susan, much less urgent and desperate than with Lena. She knew now that she was not going to hurt anyone, and could easily stop if she thought it wasn't the right thing for her or for Susan. 

"Let's wait, give it more thought..." Before Kara could finish her sentence she felt Susan's mouth envelope the tip of her cock. "Aaahh! Oh fuck, Sue! Are you sure?"

Susan just glared up at her, her mouth stretched around Kara's cock, her tongue massaging the tip. She looked at Kara as if to say, "What the fuck does it look like?"

Kara laughed and moved a hand encouragingly against Susan's head. Susan began to bob and suck at the suggestion of movement. She eased Kara deeper into her mouth as Kara let out a deep, stifled groan.

"Oh fuck yes." Kara said as she closed her eyes and leaned back against the side of the closet. She grasped each side of Susan's head gently and began to ease herself in and out as Susan sucked harder. 

"Still good?" Kara asked with a grunt, checking in with Susan.

"Mmhmm." Susan made an affirmative sound, causing her mouth to vibrate around Kara's cock. Susan wrapped her hand around the base as she realized she was never going to get it all the way in her mouth. Kara was careful not to hit the back of her throat. She didn't want to surprise Susan and risk a premature end to her efforts. Now that Susan had a hold of her, she knew her hand would be a buffer from pushing too hard. She began to thrust her hips steadily and easily in and out of Susan's mouth. She had her eyes tightly closed and her head leaned against the closet wall. Suddenly she had a flashback of Lena's face, of looking down and seeing her red lips wrapped tightly around her cock. She groaned deeply at the thought. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't chase the image out of her mind now that it was there. As Susan started bobbing up and down more quickly on her cock, Kara imagined Lena's mouth and flashed on the image of Lena stretching her T-shirt over her breasts as she laid out on her bed, telling Kara she wanted to feel her cum on her, right before Kara came hard all over her stomach and breasts. At that thought Kara could tell she was going to cum if Susan kept up at that pace. She came to her senses in time to reach into her jacket and grabbed her handkerchief.

"Sue, that feels so fucking good. You need to ease up though, I'm about to cum." Kara eased her head back off of her cock and then jerked all the way up and down her shaft a couple of times until she came roughly into the handkerchief.

"Wow! That was...wow." Susan said a bit amazed.

"That felt fantastic! So good." Kara said as she tucked herself back into her pants. "Thank you."

"Not bad for my first time, I guess." Susan laughed. "I have to admit, sometimes I really wish I had one of those myself."

"Really?"

"Sure, I mean, not all the time, just... on special occasions." She grinned.

"Yeah, too bad it doesn't work that way!" Kara laughed. "It's true there are some very enjoyable things about it. Like, now, for instance. But it can also be very awkward, especially since people here don't really expect me to have one."

"I know, Kara. I don't mean to make light of it. I know it's difficult for you."

"It's OK. It does make things complicated, but...I can handle it. It's been really good to be able to explore things with you, Sue. It's really helped me understand and control my body better. You're a good friend to me. I really trust you. I hope we always stay that way."

"Of course we will, Kara. And this is good for me too. Obviously it can't go on forever, but let's just enjoy it while it lasts."

"Speaking of enjoy, what can I do for you?" Kara teased.

"Well, I thought you'd never ask..." Susan laughed.

***

That spring was full of ups and downs. Alex was very focused on preparing for college. She was waiting to hear back from various schools about admission and scholarships. Kara was excited for her but also dreaded Alex leaving for college. The entire Danvers family celebrated when they learned that Alex had been accepted to Stanford's pre-med program. After that Alex didn't care what else came through, that was her top choice.

That night they both laid awake late into the night, excited and nervous about the future.

"Alex, are you awake?"

"What's up, Kara?"

"I just...can't believe you'll be at Stanford in less than 6 months! I'm so excited for you, I'm just...I'm really gonna miss you." Kara finished, trying not to let sadness into her voice.

"I'll miss you too, Kara. Don't worry, you can come visit me. It's not that far."

"What about...Julia? Have you talked about what you'll do next year?"

"We've talked about it a lot, but not since I heard from Stanford. She already got into Gotham U and they have a fantastic drama program. That's her dream, so we'll be on opposite coasts. I don't know, I guess we'll see how it goes."

"Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be fine. I guess the key is to talk things through, whatever you're feeling. Just be honest with each other."

"You're right, but no matter what happens it won't be easy. I don't want to lose her, but we'll be so far apart. And we have a lot of big changes coming. I don't want to be naive."

"Well, no matter what happens, it's been wonderful to see you two together. I love how your face lights up when you see her. And vice versa. You've been really good for each other."

"I know. Being out at school, it was so much easier than I thought. I was so caught up in the excitement of getting to know her, I just couldn't be bothered to worry much about how others were reacting to us. Julia and Sam both really helped me, not just to get out of the closet, but to really embrace who I am."

"I'm so glad, Alex. You so deserve it."

"Kara, you'll have a relationship like ours some day, I'm sure of it."

Kara got quiet. "I'm really fine, Alex. I do still think of Lena. I know I still have feelings for her. But it's OK. I'm not lonely. I have some great friends and our work with the 'Superfriends' is really rewarding. And what I have with Susan, well, it's really helped me work through my fears about how people will react to my...differences. It turns out Lena was right. There are people out there who are into the way I'm different. It makes me...hopeful."

"I'm really glad, Kara. I was skeptical of the friends-with-benefits thing, but so far it seems like it's working for you two. I think it often doesn't go that smoothly."

"We just really trust each other. And we're having fun. As long as we communicate we'll be fine."

"I'm glad for you, Kara. I think it's a good...distraction."

Alex didn't say what Kara needed distracting from. She didn't need to.

***

That summer before Alex left for college the sisters made an effort to spend more time together, but it wasn't easy. Alex had taken a paid position to help out at the hospital, which required longer hours, and she was also trying to spend as much time as she could with Julia. Since they were both working and out to their parents, it was harder for them to find time alone. They would sneak away when they could, but they didn't have many places to go. They craved being together, the feeling of their bare skin against each other, but often all they could manage were scrambled, semi-clothed sex with desperate kisses in the back seat of Alex's car. Julia had a large family and there always seemed to be someone at home. Occasionally there would be time when neither of them had to work and Alex's parents were out. She would text Kara to let her know not to come home and they were able to have some time together, always with an ear out in case Eliza or Jeremiah showed up. That summer they spent a lot of time talking about their dreams for the future and college. About how great it would be to be out on their own. But there was a sad flip side of the coin that they mostly didn't talk about. That once they did leave home and have more freedom they would also be leaving each other, living on opposite sides of the country. 

Kara packed her summer with classes, continuing with advanced scuba diving as her great escape from it all. As she advanced her dives got longer, giving her even more of a break from the constant barrage of intense sights and sounds. She loved her underwater world. 

It was a difficult time that week before the whole family drove Alex to Stanford. Alex was a mess, on the one hand thrilled at having her college dreams come true, and on the other knowing she would miss Julia terribly. Kara was dreading it too, but she knew Alex was dealing with so much already that she tried not to let it show. Still, she couldn't keep the tears from flowing as she squeezed Alex tight (but not too tight) outside her new dorm before hoping into the back seat of Eliza's Subaru. She turned watched out the back window, waving as Alex stood outside and watched them go until they were out of sight. Everyone in the car was crying to some degree on the way home. They didn't try to talk, just sat quietly with their own thoughts and tears.

Even though Kara had started two years behind Alex, thanks to always maxing out her class load, taking all the summer credits she could and even some evening classes at the local community college, Kara was in a position where she could graduate a year early. She would still need a few more credits after her junior year, but with another round of summer school she would be ready to start college just one year after Alex left instead of two. 

Kara and Susan continued with their friends with benefits arrangement until the fall of their junior year, until Susan's family moved away from Midvale. Her parents were in the Army, and they had been transferred to a base in Alaska. It was hard on Kara to see her friend go. She knew they would stay and touch and always be friends. It was all the more reason why she was glad she was able to get through high school in three years. She was very ready to move on to a bigger world. The town was just too small for her ambitions.

That fall Alex left for college the "Superfriends" activities slowed down. It seemed like they had righted most of the wrongs they could, since there were a lot of limits on what they could do without being found out. They had to keep things very low key, which meant they could only take on relatively straight forward, low profile problems without calling attention to themselves. Still, it was rewarding when they were able to work together to make a difference for another student who was in some unfortunate situation. For Kara, the Superfriends activities started to feel too limited. She began to follow Clark’s heroics in the news and longed to do more with her powers. At the same time, she was determined not to go the same route he had. After all the suffering she went through hiding her identity from Lena, she couldn’t imagine going through that on a global scale. To be in the limelight, famous even, for being someone other than yourself would be so difficult. She understood why Clark needed to do it, but she just couldn’t imagine having the world know you as a hero and only a handful of friends and family knowing it was you. It would take constant vigilance not to be exposed, and she just didn’t want to live that way. Still, she wanted to find a way to make a difference. She felt her strengths were going to waste. The Danvers had convinced her to go to college and pursue a “real” career. Kara had continued working closely with James on the school paper and found it very rewarding. She decided she wanted to go to National City University and thought she would study journalism. She was clear about what she wanted and didn't try to send applications to many schools.

That spring when she got her acceptance and some scholarship money to National City University, Kara felt like everything was on track. Before the end of the school year Kara went to see Dr. Grant to say goodbye. After that first semester with her Kara continued to have at least one and sometimes two class with her each year since she was taking all the available advanced math courses throughout high school. During her second year she could tell she’d made a breakthrough in their relationship. Dr. Grant stopped giving her a hard time for her regular daydreaming. She seemed to realize that Kara actually didn’t need to pay close attention to excel. She could tell Kara had a lot on her mind and Dr. Grant stopped taking it personally when she would space out. That year she offered Kara a school service project with her during one of her class periods. Kara leaped at the chance to spend more time with Dr. Grant. She became a mentor to her after that, advising Kara on what classes to take and how to deal with certain teachers. She was always subtly encouraging Kara towards a STEM career. When Kara came to her at the end of the year and told her she was planning to major in journalism at first she didn’t react well.

“Kara, really? With a mind like yours you could be making a real difference in science and technology, in research and development, even teaching, it just seems like…such a waste.”

“Dr. Grant, I …I think I can make a difference in writing. There’s so much…misinformation out there. I want to be a part of getting the truth out to people. Helping to right wrongs through informing people on important issues. I want to make a difference.”

“Whatever you do, I’m sure you’ll make a difference. You’re very talented, Kara. And you have a big heart. Just…stay true to yourself. It’s all going to be fine. And who knows, you may have a change of heart after you start school.” Dr. Grant said with a knowing grin.

“Or maybe I’ll specialize in writing on science and technology! There’s such incredible potential for change through science.” Kara said, a bit sadly as she started thinking about Lena. Talking about science and creating change always made her think of Lena.

“Maybe so.” Dr. Grant said with a wide, reassuring grin. She gave Kara a hug and sent her on her way.

“Go get ‘em, Supergirl.” She said to herself once Kara was out the door. But of course, Kara heard every word.

***

When the Eliza and Jeremiah pulled away after dropping Kara at her dorm that fall, she felt such a feeling of freedom, mixed with fear and excitement. She loved them both and the thought that they wouldn't be just down the hall was scary. But she was thrilled to be leaving the small town and her old life behind. She loved her friends and family there, but after that first Christmas there was always a shadow of her time with Lena there. As long as she was there that would never change. She felt like this was the first day of the rest of her life, to quote an exceptionally cheesy American saying she'd learned. Nothing there was a reminder of Lena and no one there knew her during the time she was with Lena. She couldn't wait to get started on her clean slate.

As she laid on the small bottom bunk in her new dorm, the door flew open to reveal a tiny brunette who promptly marched in the room like she owned the place. 

"Oh my god, how am I supposed to live in this 10 foot square area with another person?" She looked pointedly at Kara. "Is that...you?"

"Um...well, yes. Sorry."

"And you're claiming the bottom bunk?"

"I'm not...claiming. I'm just...reclining. Resting, momentarily."

"So this is a first come, first serve situation?"

"Umm, not sure. What do you mean?" Kara asked, amazed at the energy exuding from this tiny person.

"It means just because you were here 5 minutes before I was, you get the bottom bunk." She said with clear irritation.

"No, I...I was just laying here. Contemplating." Kara said, giving up on any hope of defending herself yet having no idea what she had done that was so wrong.

"Contemplating? Are you an English major?"

"No, I...don't know. It's just that I... do tend to contemplate, or day dream, quite a bit." 

As Kara climbed out of the shadow of the upper bunk she saw her roommate's mouth drop open.

"What?" Kara asked.

"What do you mean, what?"

"Why...is your mouth open, now?"

The brunette stood there, apparently speechless.

"Do you normally lay around contemplating...in your sports bra and no top?"

"Oh, well, it was oppressively hot in here and no one was around, so I... guess sometimes I do? Unless I shouldn't..." Kara pulled her T-shirt on quickly. "I run a bit hot.

"I'll say. Jesus Christ, how am I supposed to apply myself scholastically if you're sitting around here with no shirt on? And, while you're explaining that, can you please share your abdominal workout regime?"

Kara laughed. "Um...I'd be happy to, but I wouldn't call it a regime. I like to run places. I used to work on a horse farm and lifted a lot of hay. Oh, also I swim? I love to scuba dive."

"Hmmphf." The girl said, not sounding very impressed and then began scrutinizing the room.

"So, I'm Kara. Danvers. I'm Kara Danvers." Kara ventured.

"Oh. I'm Lucy. Lucy Lane." The girl said casually. 

Kara stood and looked at her with wide eyes. "Lucy Lane." Kara said, a bit in shock. "I suppose you aren't any relation to a Lois Lane?" Kara asked, trying to sound casual.

There was no forthcoming response from Lucy. She just stood looking at Kara with with narrowed eyes.

"Lois Lane is...my sister." Lucy stammered, finally losing her cool. “Don’t tell me. You’re a journalism major. My sister is your hero.”

“Well, yes, but it’s more than that…”

“Listen, the last thing I need is a roommate telling me how AMAZING my sister is all the time. No fangirling, OK? I get enough of that as it is. I was hoping that being on the opposite coast would give me a break from some of that.”

“Sure, of course…um what’s fangirling?”

“It’s like, being crazy about a celebrity. Wanting to learn everything you can about them. Sometimes trying to make a connection.”

“Oh, it’s not like that, I just…admire her. She is a fantastic journalist.”

“What did I just say?”

“Oh, sorry. I see what you mean. But I already know a lot about Lois. I’ve met her several times. It was amazing, she’s such a down to earth person, I was really impressed.”

“Here we go again.” Lucy said, annoyed. “Wait, what do you mean you met her several times?”

“Well, I’m…Clark’s cousin.”

Lucy sat there speechless for a few moments.

“You’re Clark’s cousin?” She said, finally.

“Yes.”

“How come we haven’t met?”

“Well, I usually only see them when they visit Midvale. I’ve only been to Metropolis once. I knew Lois had a a sister but, I never hear much about you. No offense.”

“It’s fine. I actually don’t see her that much lately. She’s so busy with work. And Clark.”

“So, how did you end up here?”

“Well, this school has the only ROTC program with a beach nearby. I love to surf."

“You should meet my sister. What's ROTC?”

“Officer’s Training Corp. I’m in training to be an officer in the Army.” Lucy said proudly.

“Wow. I’ve heard of that. Those scholarships are really hard to get, right?”

“Well, it’s easier if your father is a general. But also, I admit, I am brilliant.” She said, finally smiling.

“Wow, I’m impressed. Already committed to serving your country and you’re just starting college.”

“It sort of runs in the family I guess. But yeah, I am excited about doing something that will make a difference. And thank you.”

“In that case, officer, you should definitely have the bottom bunk.”

“Well, I’m not an officer yet." Lucy grinned. "But, if you don’t mind, that would be great. I’m kind of short and…you look like you could leap up there in a single bound.”

Kara gulped at the reference to Superman. Did Lucy know Clark was Superman? She had to assume she didn’t know until she talked to Clark.

"No problem. It's the least I can do for a soldier."

“Thanks.” Lucy laughed.

They spent the day unpacking and then went together to a get-to-know-you event for their dorm. They finally crashed in their bunks late that night.

“Somehow I don’t think this was a random room assignment.” Lucy mused.

“Me neither. But I’m glad it worked out this way.” Kara said. “Goodnight, Lucy.”

“Yeah, me too. Goodnight Kara.” Lucy rolled over and whispered to herself under her breath. “I just hope that body doesn’t drive me to distraction.”

But of course, Kara heard every word. She rolled over, giggling to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can blame or thank Leapyearbaby29 - I've attempted to set up a tmblr here:  
>  https://www.tumblr.com/blog/equus-ao3 
> 
> I'd love to hear from you!


	35. Skipping Over the Ocean Like a Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV, NCU freshman year.

Kara loved her new life in college. She and Lucy had become fast friends. Whenever she could talk Kara into it, Lucy would drag her to parties on campus. Lucy was usually the life of the party and on some nights she would get a bit too drunk. On those nights Kara would keep an eye on her and make sure she got back to the dorm safely. They both attracted a lot of attention at parties, from women and men. Many people would try to convince Kara to dance and she would adamantly refuse. She didn't have the benefit of alcohol to make her brave, and she felt she had no idea what she was doing. One night Lucy finally dragged her out on the floor. Of course she couldn't physically make Kara do anything, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. Lucy was letting loose and Kara tried to follow her as much as she could. She had a blast just letting go and moving to the music with Lucy. She had so much fun that night, she realized it was silly to worry about what she looked like. Most people were just as terrible as she was and they were having a lot of fun. After that Kara didn't care anymore, she would just get out there and have a good time.

For the first time since she arrived on Earth Kara felt anonymous, like she could be a different person and not have to worry about any reflection or impact on her family or anyone else. Lucy was always teasing and flirting with her and Kara got a kick out of it. She was intrigued by the idea it might lead to more, but she could see it would be very complicated and was happy to just enjoy getting to know Lucy. Kara talked to Clark and he assured her that Lois hadn't said anything to Lucy about him being Superman. As to her other big secret, she knew she needed to talk to Lucy about it. But before she got the nerve, an incident made the big reveal unnecessary. 

During the weekend after their second week at school, she and Lucy spent the day with new friends on the beach. Kara was careful to have good compression shorts under her swim shorts and now that she had better control of her body it all went fine in terms of keeping things 'under wraps'. That day Lucy brought her surf board, but she was mostly goofing around rather than trying to do any serious surfing. Late in the day they all went on a long walk and eventually reached an old water tower. It was similar to the one on the beach in Midvale, and it reminded Kara of one of her favorite memories with Lena, holding her on the tower while they looked at the stars together. She had a sharp pang of longing, but quickly got back into the fun, taking a run towards the ocean and a flying leap to crash into a huge wave to pull herself out of it. That feeling of longing happened very rarely anymore, but when it did it sometimes it stuck with her, making Kara feel sad and empty before she eventually pulled it together and put it behind her. She had a fantastic time at the beach that day, but that night back in the dorm the memory from earlier that day carried over into her dreams. She dreamed about seeing Lena on the beach, and she saw herself walking up to her from behind and wrapping her arms around her, putting her chin on Lena's shoulder as Lena reached back to stroke her hair.

"Where were you?" The dream Lena asked.

"I was looking for you." Kara whispered, her lips grazing the edge of Lena's ear.

"You've been gone so long. God, I've missed you." Lena said, bringing an ache to Kara's chest. In the dream Lena turned her head to catch Kara's lips, nipping and licking at her before easing her tongue inside Kara's mouth. Lena turned in her arms and eased her hand behind her neck to keep her close, then pulled back from the kiss to look her in the eye and whispered. "You're the only one, Kara. You'll always be the only one."

In her dream Kara gasped at Lena's words, then pulled Lena's hips closer, only then realizing how hard she was. Lena grinned at the feeling of Kara's cock against her stomach.

"Seems you've missed me too." In her dream Kara was having trouble getting her words out, and only managed to make an affirmative sound. At that she could feel Lena stroking the outline of her cock through her pants. "I want you, Kara. No one makes me feel like you do."

Lena began to unbutton her pants and ease down the zipper. As Kara felt Lena's hand slip past her briefs to wrap around her cock she finally was able to speak.

"Lena!" she called out in her dream and the intensity of it woke her up. She didn't immediately know where she was and her hand went into auto mode, reaching for her straining erection. During her year at home with a room to herself while Alex was away at college, Kara's usual way of dealing with this situation was to jerk herself off. She found it much faster than any other method of getting it down and getting to sleep. Not realizing where she was, she eased her hand under the waist band of her sleep pants. Just as she fisted her cock she heard a loud gasp.

"Oh, my god!" Hearing that voice Kara froze. It all came to her at once. She was not in her bedroom at the Danvers, with Alex away at college. She was in her dorm room at National City University, with a roommate very much present. It was a nearly full moon that night and the room was bathed with light. Kara's stomach filled with dread. She should have talked to Lucy first, broken it to her gently. Would Lucy be angry, or disgusted by her? Would she want a new roommate? Was she about to lose her first friend at college? She loved her time with Lucy and could feel it all slipping away. She removed her hand from her pants slowly and sat up to face the music. She used her other hand to cover her eyes, she wasn't ready to see Lucy's face.

"I'm sorry, Lucy! I didn't...I didn't realize where I was! I would never have done that if I knew you were in the room. I'm sorry I didn't tell you! I understand if you don't want to room with...a freak." She said, feeling tears slip down her cheeks. She realized her rambling was hopeless got quiet. She didn't dare look at Lucy, who was standing near the door, probably just returned from the bathroom down the hall.

"Danvers! What the fuck?" Kara's heart sank further, and she prepared to hear an earful from Lucy. She sat up straighter, finally taking her hand away from her face to look Lucy in the eye and take it head on. She was surprised to see Lucy wearing a wide grin. 

"You've been holding out on me." Lucy said with a chuckle, crossing her arms and shaking her head. Kara let out a breath that she didn't even realize she'd been holding.

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. People get freaked out. I should have told you right away...so you knew what you were getting into, rooming with me."

"You don't owe me, or anyone else, any explanation. If you feel like sharing, great. But if you don't, you aren't obligated! Kara, you haven't done anything wrong. Whatever your deal is, it's just that. It's your deal. And you are not a freak! Kara, you are the hottest...seriously, you really have no idea. With or without a dick, you are a...goddess."

Now it was Kara's turn for her mouth to fall open. "Thanks, Lucy." She said eventually. It didn't seem like she'd said enough to equal the relief and happiness she felt at what Lucy had said, but she didn't know what else to say.

"Don't thank me for that, Danvers. What you should thank me for is stopping myself from climbing up to your bunk late at night and jumping your bones."

"If you want to do that so much, why don't you?"

Lucy was quiet for a bit. "I think it's because I like you too much. I really want to...be your friend. The head space I'm in right now isn't the right one for a relationship with someone like you. I can see you are the real deal, Kara. You're not just beautiful, but you're smart, and loyal, and kind. I just don't want to do something that will make things awkward for us or keep us from being friends and rooming together, even though I'm very attracted to you. In case you didn't notice. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, that makes perfect sense. And...I want that too." Kara said quietly. "I mean, I want to be your friend. And I find you very attractive as well. You're beautiful, and fun, and brilliant. I'm so grateful for the chance to know you."

"That's really nice to hear, Kara." Lucy said with a smile. "I guess maybe we should get some sleep? Do you think you can manage?"

"Yes, I...well, that shock helped me with my...situation."

"Great. I'm going to resist the temptation of offering to help with that."

"Damn you, Lucy! That comment isn't helping..."

Lucy laughed as she fell into the bottom bunk. Her breathing eventually evened out and just as Kara was sure she was asleep, Lucy spoke up.

"So, since we're going to be great friends...who is Lena?"

Kara let out an exasperated breath and rolled over. "Good night, Lucy!"

"Good night, Kara." Lucy said, giggling to herself.

***

It wasn't long before Kara was confronted with her other big secret. One weekend she and Lucy were at a party. By now Kara had made several friends that she really had fun with and she was having a blast. It was well past midnight when Kara was dancing with a group of people. Lucy came dancing up to her, resting her arms on Kara's shoulders and dancing close to her. Kara was used to Lucy getting more physical with her when she was drinking. Kara enjoyed it, she understood and agreed with all the reasons Lucy thought they shouldn't get involved. She could see by then they weren't right for each other in the long term. But they were still attracted to each other and it felt good to be near her. Kara put her hands on Lucy's hips and they swayed to a slow song that came on.

"Having a good time, Sarge?" Kara grinned at her.

"I guess. But I'm over this party now. Let's go to the beach!" Lucy yelled at Kara over the loud music.

"What, you mean right now?"

"Yes. Come on, it's a beautiful night. I'm ready to get out of here."

"Is this about that guy?" Kara had noticed Lucy slip away with another student earlier in the evening.

"What guy?"

"Come on, Lucy, I saw you earlier."

"OK, maybe a little bit. We had good time but I think he got the wrong idea. He's kind of following me around now."

"OK, let's go." Kara was always felt very protective of Lucy. She knew Lucy was a bad-ass, training hard with her cadet unit every day. She knew they had really difficult physical training and that Lucy excelled at it. Still, Lucy seemed so small to Kara, and she always caught herself trying to do the "heavy lifting" when there was any to be done. She instinctively opened doors and looked out for her. Lucy got a kick out of it and sometimes teased her about her chivalry, but Kara could tell Lucy appreciated being looked after a bit. That night Kara knew she or Lucy could have handled the guy if he got aggressive, but she always tried to avoid any potential scene. Especially when the beach did sound inviting.

Kara drove them out in her old truck since she hadn't been drinking. As soon as she parked Lucy made a run for the water and dove in, with Kara close behind. They bobbed around in the waves, looking at the stars and enjoying the peace and quiet. Kara started floating on her back and became a bit hypnotized as she gazed at the stars, thinking back to her time on Krypton. 

"Thanks for bringing me out here, Lucy. This was a great idea."

When Lucy didn't respond she stopped floating to look around. She looked all around and couldn't see her any where in the water. 

"Lucy!" She screamed above the roar of the waves. She looked back at the truck but there was still no sign. She started to panic, and flew up to get a better look. When there was still nothing she began scanning underwater and eventually caught sight of her, under water and far away from the shore. She dove under and brought her up in a split second, carrying her quickly to the beach to lay her down. She could tell Lucy wasn't breathing and immediately began pumping her chest. Moments later Lucy's chest jerked. She coughed and brought up a lot of water.

"Lucy! Lucy, are you alright?" Lucy's chest was heaving as she took in deep breaths, but Kara could tell they were starting to slow down.

"Jesus, Lucy, you nearly scared me to death! No more drunk swimming!"

"It wasn't...that...I...it was a riptide!" Lucy finally spit out between coughs. "Which... I probably would have been more careful of it I wasn't drunk." She admitted.

"Never again. Not when you're drinking."

"Fine." Lucy said, laying back down to get a handle on herself. "Thank you, Kara. You saved my life."

"Yeah, I, well I'm just so glad I realized you were gone before it was too late."

"It happened so fast, I was under before I even realized what was happening. I couldn't call to you. That was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. I was dragged so far so fast..."

"I'm just glad you're safe." Kara tried to distract Lucy from realizing what it would take for Kara to find her and bring her back that fast when she was so far out. Her eyes were wide as she watched Lucy. "Are you feeling OK, should we head back?" She asked, trying to move on before Lucy could think more about what happened.

"It's OK, Kara. You don't have to worry. I already know."

"You already know...what?"

"I know you're...Kryptonian." Lucy said, quietly.

"You...what? What do you mean?"

"I'm not an idiot, Kara. I've been at too many dinners and parties where Clark makes some lame excuse to leave, then minutes later Superman pops up on the newsfeed. He and Lois think they're so clever. Sorry, that glasses and nerd disguise is not nearly as effective as he seems to think. I guess it works for most people, but it really didn't take me long to figure out after a couple of those coincidences."

"Wow, so, you've known this whole time? Ever since we met?"

"Pretty much. At first I wondered if maybe you weren't blood relatives. I didn't want to be obvious and ask you out right about that. Then I learned you were adopted at age 13, and there were some little things I noticed that confirmed it. Don't worry, not things people would notice unless they were looking."

"Like what?"

"Well, like one time I forgot something in the room and when I came back to get it you had cleaned it from top to bottom in about 2 minutes. Our room was a disaster, no human could have done that."

"Yeah, I remember. I learned a lesson from that. I still use superspeed to clean, but I wait a while to make sure you don't come back right away."

Lucy laughed. "You're so damn lucky to be able to clean like that. It's the most boring thing in the world."

"I guess that's why you never do it!" Kara teased, then got serious. "Sorry I didn't tell you."

"I understand why, Kara, it's totally fine. It kind of bugs me that Lois hasn't said anything though. I'm her sister, after all."

"I'm sure it's because Clark insisted. He's only doing it to protect the people he loves. You understand that he has a lot of enemies, right?"

"Of course." Lucy said, and it really did sound like she understood. "Do you ever think about...I don't know, being a superhero, I guess."

"I think about it a lot. But I really don't want the kind of double life Clark has. I went through a tough experience in high school that made me very wary of all that."

"What happened?"

"I don't know, it probably sounds a bit childish. I fell in love, and I started feeling very guilty about not being honest about myself. There was a lot of pressure from my family to be secretive. Then when it came out it sort of, blew up in my face."

"Seems like this person should have been able to understand why you were hiding being an alien."

"Turns out she did understand. But she felt betrayed at first and it triggered her to break it off. I don't know, it's pretty complicated and it was a long time ago. I haven't really been in a romantic relationship since."

"Her name wouldn't happen to be Lena, would it?"

Kara looked up at her in shock. "I...why would you...oh." Kara said, realizing how Lucy had heard the name. "Yes."

"Sorry, Kara. I guess she meant a lot to you since you're still dreaming about her."

"Yes, I guess she does. I suffered for a long time, but I'm really fine now. It's just that sometimes something happens that takes me back to that time. I can direct my thoughts when I'm awake, but sometimes she still sneaks into my dreams."

"I think I know what you need."

"What's that?"

"You need to get yourself out there. Find someone you like, go out on dates. Get into the game, Danvers!"

"I don't know. I'm pretty busy with...everything."

"Leave it to me. I'm on the case, don't worry about a thing."

"Uh-oh. Why am I suddenly worried?"

"Hey, trust me. Maybe I'm not much for relationships myself right now, but I'm very discriminating. I can spot the good ones. I spotted you, didn't I?"

"I guess." Kara noticed Lucy starting to shiver slightly. "Hey, let's get you out back and out of these wet clothes."

"I thought you'd never ask." Lucy teased.

Kara grinned and scooped Lucy up in her arms. No one was around, and now that Lucy knew she didn't have to worry about appearing too strong.

Lucy sighed but didn't protest, putting her hands around Kara's neck. "Thanks for always looking out for me. Supergirl." Her voice had become serious.

Kara chuckled at the nick name she hadn't heard in a while. "Anything for a friend." She said as she carried Lucy back to the truck.


	36. Echoes of Daylight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena POV, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, sophomore-senior years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for all the kudos and comments! I'm amazed this has reached over 3000 kudos - I never dreamed that would happen. I know this is not the usual Supercorp fic, now that we're spending several chapters with our girls on opposite sides of the country, and especially since it includes non-supercorp smut which I warned about earlier and wanted to mention again ahead of this chapter. Please note I've added the tag "Angst with a Happy Ending". I hope you will enjoy the ride - I know it will be worth it. I really appreciate the continued support - thank you for reading and commenting!
> 
> **This chapter contains non-Supercorp smut.

Lena woke to a bright light shining into her eyes. She shifted and realized Lana’s head was resting on her stomach, her hair soft against Lena’s breasts. She smiled as she remembered their night together. After 3 months of dating, she had finally lured Lana into her bed. It was clear that Lana desperately wanted it, but was nervous about being able to please Lena. She knew Lena was very experienced and it intimidated her. It was true, Lana had a lot to learn, but what she lacked in experience she made up for in enthusiasm and effort. The thought gave Lena a pang, remembering how Kara had always been, so excited, so determined to make her feel good. It had been nearly 4 years since she’d seen or spoken with Kara, yet still there would be moments when she would flash back in her mind, often causing her to catch her breath. Usually a sharp pain of longing followed, before she quickly got it back under control. It was always the most random thing, like something someone said, or seeing horses, even seeing someone pigging out on a burger. And it wasn't always painful, sometimes she was just able to smile or even laugh at a memory that came suddenly.

She looked down at Lana, forcing herself, as she always did in these cases, to focus on something in the present, to take her thoughts off of Kara. She had been having a good time with Lana. She only occasionally felt guilty. It was clear that Lana’s feelings were quite different that hers, much more intense. But she could tell that Lana was happy, and she decided it was OK for her to enjoy herself, to let herself be with someone who cared about her, even allow herself to get closer to someone. Someone she enjoyed spending time with, someone who wanted her to be happy. Lana was always doing considerate things for her, like bringing food to the lab when she had late nights. She worried that Lena often forgot about eating or sleeping when she was immersed in a project. Lena had to admit that she felt more healthy now that someone was reminding her that she as not a robot. That her body had basic needs, and that it was also better for her mind if she didn’t forget that. Lena was always careful to push away thoughts about Lana’s similarities to Kara. Her sunlight-colored curls, searching blue eyes, and most of all, her innocence and excitement about being with Lena.

Sam told Lena she was very proud of her for finally letting herself to attempt an actual relationship. She believed it meant Lena had finally forgiven herself enough, and had realized she was worthy of love. Lena wasn’t sure about all that. She did still have a lot of guilt and mistrust. She knew because she found herself on a few occasions very tempted to go out and get laid, to just have an anonymous night, knowing full well that she would be hurting Lana and probably messing up the first positive relationship she’d been able to tolerate for any significant time period. But Lena was able to recognize that she was trying to sabotage herself and their relationship, and was able to convince herself that she deserved better before it was too late. Now that they’d finally spent the night together, Lena knew she made the right decision. Waking up to someone she knew, who she knew cared about her, was a wonderful feeling. She didn’t have the urge to immediately leap up and try to get rid of the person in her bed. And she didn’t have to get drunk the night before to go through with it, to help forget the face that was always in the back of her mind. Instead, she slipped carefully out from underneath Lana, trying not to wake her as she went to the bathroom.

When she returned she found Lana rolled over on her back, smiling sheepishly at her.

“Morning.”

“Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“Amazing. You’re amazing, Lena. I’ve never felt like that before.” Lana said.

“You felt pretty amazing to me, too.” Lena said with a smirk. She slid the sheet slowly down Lana’s body so she could admire her curves.

“Please, won’t you come back to bed?” Lana pleaded, reaching out a hand.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Lena said with a smile.

She eased her body next Lana, easing her fingers over her hip and shifting her closer. She ran her fingers down the outside of her thigh, then bending her leg to lay across Lena’s hip, bringing her warm, wet cunt against Lena’s stomach as Lana let out a moan.

Given neither had brushed their teeth, Lena went straight for her breasts, licking gently against her nipple as she canted her hips, grinding her hip bone tight against Lana’s cunt. Lena reveled in the sounds she made, feeling her slickness as Lana’s body started to shift against her.  
At that Lena sucked her nipple more deeply into her mouth, creating a tight seal and sucking hard, then taking it roughly between her teeth. Lana called out as she started to move more desperately against her hip. Lena could feel she was even wetter and moaned at the feeling. She moved her hand over Lana’s ass and dug her nails in, encouraging her to move harder against her.

“Please, Lena. Please touch me.” she begged.

At that Lena smiled. She eased back and slid her hand around to Lana’s stomach, teasing her with her fingers down to her soaked folds as Lana gasped in pleasure.

“Mmm, I love how wet you are. You feel so good.” Lena hummed against her nipple, then moved over to lathe her tongue over her other nipple. Her fingertips steadily circled Lana’s clit, then teased briefly over it as Lana writhed and moaned in her grip. Lena moved her thumb over her clit steadily, over the top before she eased her other fingers near the entrance to Lana’s dripping cunt.

“God, Lena, yes. Yes, please. . .please fuck me!” Lana was panting and her body was trembling with anticipation of Lena moving inside her. At last, when Lena eased two fingers inside Lana called her name loudly. Lena thrust in deeply as Lana began to clinch tightly around her fingers and canted her hips harder as she reached her climax. Lena eased her down as she began to slow her hips and roll onto her back, still panting heavily.

“Jesus, Lena, that was...” She said breathlessly. Lena laid down on her back and Lana curled up on top of her. She recovered after a while and began feathering kisses along Lena’s neck and down her chest. Lena threaded her hands lightly through Lana’s hair, then pushed her lower. Lena looked down as she moved lower down over her stomach. Seeing that mess of blonde hair between her legs, she closed her eyes tightly against the unbidden image of Kara. She forced herself to focus on the feeling of Lana’s tongue against her clit, pushing the image away. Finally she gave up and let herself go, imagining Kara laying her out in the hay, licking her rapidly to her peak. She came hard and managed to stop herself from saying Kara’s name out loud. When Lana popped her head up, looking very pleased with herself, Lena was relieved she hadn’t given anything away. She smiled and pulled Lana to her.

“You’re getting pretty good at that.” Lena said and stroked her hair. _I can do this._ She thought to herself. _This is OK. I’m not hurting anyone. I can have this._

__

_____ _

____

***  
Lena continued to push herself hard, spending long hours in the lab and always going the extra mile in her classes. She didn’t have a lot of down time, but when she did she spent a lot with Lana. After several more months she had come to trust her. She could tell Lana genuinely cared about her, and wasn’t after her money or notoriety. It was a relief to not always be on her guard, to be able to relax in Lana’s arms, often falling asleep when they watched movies on the weekend. She came to accept having someone in her life that she could let in to her thoughts now and then.

That Christmas break she flew Lana home to meet her parents. Lana had begged to see her over the long break and Lena thought it would be a nice buffer from her family for part of the break. She no longer cared much about what they thought of someone she was dating. She had become independent enough to stop basing decisions on their approval. She had an academic scholarship and she knew they wouldn’t dare cut her support for living expenses. They wouldn’t want to do anything to slow her graduation, after which they made it clear she was expected her to join Luthor Corp.

Lena was pleasantly surprised to find they seemed like Lana. Lana was rich, and beautiful, and brilliant, and apparently the Luthors didn’t mind that she was a woman. Lex was the one who couldn’t resist a snide comment about Lena not being able to land a man when they were alone.

“That’s rich, coming from you!” Lena scoffed.

“What do you mean?”

Ever since you had that bad breakup you’ve started acting like a scared, hateful coward. ”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Lex said with a huff.

“I know more than you think.” Lena said, storming out of the room. She spent a lot of time late that night cracking Lex’s encrypted electronics. It was clear he was becoming more deeply involved with extremist groups, but she still wasn’t able to get anything she thought would be actionable. She wondered if he had a secret server and mirrored comms that she wasn't able to detect. During the break her parents had made comments which convinced Lena that, if anything, they would be on Lex's side when it came to aliens. Her mother in particular had made thinly veiled anti-alien comments one night at dinner while Lana was visiting. Lena railed against her, but it was clear she wasn’t getting through, and she was getting no support from her father. That night in bed Lana tried to comfort her, but she was too angry to be calmed. She stayed a few more days at home before making the excuse that she needed to get back to school for purposes of research. Lana asked her to visit her family, but Lena wasn’t in any mood to be with a happy family, creating a constant reminder that she would never have anything even close with her family. She headed back to school and Lana went home for the rest of the break.

During the spring semester her research group made an important breakthrough in medicine. Being an assistant on the team brought her an opportunity for a summer internship in biomedicine at the University of Oxford in the U.K. Lana was working for a different team and wasn’t able to secure a spot there, it was extremely competitive. The night before she flew out for the summer she told Lana that she should have fun during the summer, not tie herself down. They wouldn’t see each other for 3 months. She was devastated, convinced that Lena was dumping her.

“We’re not breaking up, we’re just, taking a break. It’s going to be a long summer. Just. . .have some fun.”

“Forget it, Lena. That’s not what I want.”

“Maybe you don’t know what you want until you try?”

“I know what you’re doing, Lena. You’re trying to push me away because you’re scared.”

“Scared! Scared of what?”

“Scared that I’m getting too close. Scared that you care about me too much. I’m not letting you do it.” Lana looked at her in desperation, but also resigned. “I love you, Lena.”

“I know you believe that. But there’s so much about me that you don’t know. So much that’s…dark.”

“If you need to take a break this summer then I can’t stop you. But I know what I want. It’s you.” Lana said and waited on a response. When she didn’t get one she marched out of Lena’s room. She turned in the doorway to face her.

“Enjoy your summer, Lena. See you in September.” She said and slammed the door.

Lena did enjoy her summer. Oxford was beautiful and the research was exciting. She found that she did miss Lana. She met a lot of interesting people, but ultimately she avoided any summer flings. She knew Lana was right about trying to push her away, and the thought of having sex with someone she didn’t really know didn’t seem appealing. But she wasn’t willing to admit it and she didn’t get in touch with Lana all summer. Still, once they were back at school and back in the lab, it didn’t take long before they found themselves alone well past midnight. They hadn’t talked and Lena was tired of seeing Lana look at her with sad eyes. She realized she missed the comfort of having Lana in her arms, of waking up in a bed that wasn’t empty. She wanted to the thrill of hearing Lana call our her name in esctacy, to feel the release of coming in her mouth.

“How about same pancakes, Lang?”

Lana didn’t answer, just looked at her with hurt in her eyes. Lena continued working for a while and then tried again.

“Since when have you been able to say no to me? Is that something you learned while I was away this summer?”

Lana looked at her thoughtfully for a while. “Apparently not.” she answered, finally.

“Great.” Lena grinned broadly. “I get to choose the place.”

***

After a lot of talking and working through their feelings, that night they did end up back in Lena’s room, falling into bed, awkwardly, like it was their first time. Lena was happy to wake up to her the next day and it didn’t take long before they were back in their old patterns. Lena’s classes and research continued to get more rigorous, and it was a relief to have something easy that she could count on in her life. At the end of their junior year Lena had another fantastic internship opportunity, this time in Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Switzerland. This time she didn’t try to convince Lana they needed a break before she left.

They stayed together long distance through that summer and into their senior year. Late in the fall semester when Lana showed up at Lena’s door late at night.

“What’s up?" She said with surprise. They both had big tests in different classes to study for and had decided they needed to study separately.

“It’s…well…it’s Lex.” Lana stammered.

“What about him?”

“He…well…can we just turn on the news?”

Lena flipped on her TV and watched in shock as the news reported Lex’s attempt to kill Superman. He seemed to have gone completely mad, on a reign of terror in the city. She sunk down on her couch as Lana sat beside her and put her arm around her.

“It’s going to be OK, Lena. This has nothing to do with you.”

Lena starred ahead completely dazed. “Kara…”

“Who's Kara?" Lana froze. "You...say her name sometimes when you're dreaming." Lana looked at her sadly. "What does she have to do with this?"

"Nothing!" Lena looked at her wide-eyed. Had she said her name out loud? "She has nothing to do with this!"

"Lena, what can I do to help?" Lana said, changing the subject.

"I...I have to go. I have to go to my family. They'll be in full crisis mode. They need my help. I don't want them to do anything...crazy."

"OK, let's get packed. Should I look at flights for us?"

"Lana, no." Lena said, standing up. "This has nothing to do with you and you need to stay far away from it."

"Forget it. You need me and I'm going with you." Lana said determinedly. "Are you worried the media will report us being together?"

"It's not that, but the media will be around and there's no reason for you to be associated with this right now. Think about your family and their business. How would that impact them to see you with me at a time like this?"

"They would think I'm doing the right thing by standing by my girlfriend."

"Don't be so naive, Lana. Don't get me wrong, your parents are great, but they don't need this. It could hurt their bottom line. It's not worth it."

"Lena, please let me help."

"This is something I have to do on my own." Lena said adamantly. Lana tried to pull her into a hug.

"I have to pack. I'm sorry, Lana. You need to go."

"Isn't there anything I can help with? Can I at least look for flights for you?" 

"No, I can't go to the airport right now, I don't want to risk dealing with reporters. I'll call and arrange for a helicopter. You need to go, Lana. You've got a big test. There's no reason for you to blow that because of this." Lena turned her back and pulled some luggage out of her closet.

"Lena, please..." She looked at her desparately. "You seem...so far away now..."

"I really don't have time for this. I need to make some calls and I need privacy. We can talk later, just...please go."

Lana watched her for a while then moved toward the door. "Just, promise you'll let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"There won't be." Lena said harshly, then realized how she sounded. "I mean, I promise. Please go study."

"Be safe, Lena."

Lena didn't respond and just continued to throw clothes into her bag. Lana slipped out the the door and closed it quietly.

Within the hour she was boarding a Luthor Corp helicopter. She watched as everything on the ground grew rapidly smaller, then looked out at the stars wistfully.

"I'm sorry, Kara. I'm the only one who could have stopped this. I failed." She said to herself. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she leaned back against the leather seats and forced her eyes closed. "I'm so, so sorry."


	37. Love's Illusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV, National City University, sophomore year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains non-Supercorp kissing.

Kara was true to her word, and went out on several Lucy-arranged dates that year. She always had a lot of fun, but when she was asked on a second date she always made up an excuse for why she couldn't go. She never met someone she could see herself getting serious about, and she didn't want to lead anyone on. It was her sophomore year before Kara met someone who caught her eye. And it hit her like a ton of bricks.

During her freshman year she had been able to get a spot managing the rugby team. By her sophomore year the head coach could see Kara really knew what she was doing, and offered her the position as an assistant coach leading offense at the beginning of the fall season. She loved helping these tough women however she could and was thrilled with the chance to coach them. She was already friends with the players and they respected her, which was a big help given that she was such a young coach.

That fall a new student transferred to NCU and joined the squad, and it didn't take long for Kara to become completely enamored with her. Kara tried to hide her feelings, but she realized she probably hadn't succeeded when one day after practice the new player came walking towards the shower wrapped only in a towel, just as Kara was coming out of the shower. Kara tightened her grip on her own towel and froze like a deer in the headlights just as the woman walked past.

"Hey, Coach." The woman said with a smirk and kept walking. She was an upper classman, older than Kara. _What is it about older women? _Kara asked herself as she froze like a deer in the headlights.__

__"Hi!" She said, surprised. "I, um...well...you don't have to call me 'coach'. You can just call me 'Kara'." She stammered. "That's my name. Kara. Danvers. I'm Kara Danvers." _Shut up, Danvers! _she thought to herself.___ _

____"Kara Danvers, huh?" The woman continued past Kara into the shower and out of sight. "I like the sound of that."_ _ _ _

____Kara watched as Sara's towel came flying out from the shower and gracefully landed on the bench near her. She started to leave, not wanting to seem like a creep hanging out while the woman showered. As she was walking away she heard the woman speaking again from inside the shower. "My last rugby team called me 'Canary'. But you can call me Sara. Lance. I'm Sara Lance."_ _ _ _

____Kara could tell Sara was teasing her about her awkward introduction but it seemed more playful than mocking. She felt her heart speeding up. _Be cool! Don't say anything stupid. _She thought.___ _ _ _

______"Sara Lance." She finally responded. "I like the sound of that." Then she sped into her street clothes and made for the door. She didn't think she could manage to see Sara come out of the shower naked without saying something to completely embarrass herself._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well, have a good night!" She called as she hurried out the door to make her escape. Even from out in the hall and behind the running water, Kara could hear Sara chuckling to herself. Kara was embarrassed for being so obvious, but couldn't help feeling elated to finally have a chance to talk to her one-on-one outside of practice. She hoped she would get to do it again soon._ _ _ _ _ _

______***_ _ _ _ _ _

______Apart from rugby and parties with Lucy, Kara was throwing herself into her studies. Out of habit she had signed up for the maximum number of courses her counselor would allow her to take, and for the first time she had some really challenging courses. She saw Sara twice a week at practice but hadn't had another chance to talk to her without a lot of people around. She realized it was partly because the thought made her nervous, so she was avoiding Sara. She was worried about making a fool of herself by going into a ramble or just saying something ridiculous. They were still getting some really hot days and on those days many of the team members would take off their jerseys and practice only in their shorts and sports bras. Seeing Sara shirtless was not helping Kara maintain her cool, in fact it became distracting to her while she was coaching. Despite her attraction, Kara kept her distance, intimidated by the woman who was quickly becoming the star forward of the team._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was more than Sara's body that attracted her. She could see Sara tried to be tough and act like she didn't care, but the way she helped out her teammates on the field, often in ways they would never even be aware of, told Kara there was a lot more to Sara than her tough exterior. On several occassions she had seen Sara pass up an opportunity for the glory of scoring during a match and instead chose to give an assist to a teammate for them to score. She regularly put her own body on the line to protect a teammate. Kara could also tell that she didn't want others to see what she was doing. She wondered why Sara maintained such a tough front, but never called her out on it. From her vantage point as coach, Kara saw it all. She wondered what had happened to Sara to make her project such a tough exterior, while it was clear she had a strong, caring heart that put others first. It was intriguing to Kara. She wanted to get to know her and to spend more time with her, but didn't have the nerve to do anything about it._ _ _ _ _ _

______That continued for a while until one Saturday after an especially tough tournament. The team played 3 matches in one day, winning the first 2 but then getting beat in the third match. Eight teams had come to NCU for the tournament and they were partying pretty hard in the team's clubhouse that night, especially teams like NCU that had been knocked out of the tournament and weren't playing the next day. Kara had been to parties all over campus with people from all walks of life, but she learned that none of them partied like rugby players. There was something about running like hell and getting beat up for 90 minutes on the pitch that put them in the mood to let loose._ _ _ _ _ _

______Even without the influence of alcohol, Kara still found herself getting caught up in the excitement and the feeling of anything goes at the rugby parties. She danced with teammates and players from out of town for most of the night. She couldn't help sending a side eye towards Sara now and then. Sara drank harder than most and Kara would often notice her dancing very closely with men and women, but rarely with the same person more than once._ _ _ _ _ _

______That Saturday night of their tournament loss it was well after midnight when Kara was coming out of the clubhouse bathroom. A boy had followed her in but she had brushed him off, annoyed that he bothered her. After sending him on his way Kara rushed out of the bathroom wanting to get back to the dance floor. She wasn't paying attention and bumped head first into Sara, coming the opposite way. Sara put her hand to her forehead and was clearly reeling from running into such an unforgiving force. Her expression looked like she had run into a wall. As her body recoiled from Kara she started to tilt backwards._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Whoa!" Kara called out and quickly wrapped an arm around Sara's back to prevent her from falling. Once Sara was steady she looked up into Kara's eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______"My hero." Sara grinned. Kara gulped at the phrase she used to hear from Lena. She dropped her arm away as Sara steadied herself. She felt terrible for nearly plowing her over, but couldn't resist returning her smile._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm really sorry. I didn't see you." Kara said quickly. "Which is pretty funny since I haven't been able to keep my eyes off you tonight."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sara's smile widened at that. "Ha! Aren't you smooth? Well, no harm done." Sara said and looked at her curiously. As she moved towards the bathroom she started to tilt again._ _ _ _ _ _

______Kara quickly righted her. "Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do to... help? It's been quite a day with 3 matches, plus...a lot of..."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sara pondered the situation for a few moments. "Well,...I guess I am feeling a bit tipsy. And it's getting late. Maybe you could see me home?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes! Please. I mean...sure, I'd by happy to." Kara stammered._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sara laughed and slid her hand around Kara's bicep. "Lead the way, Coach."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Going down the cobblestone steps of the clubhouse Sara stumbled on the uneven stones. Kara was quick to pull her close to stop her from falling._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You've got great reflexes. Didn't you drink tonight?" Sara asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Not really. Not enough to feel it, anyway."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You just like to be ready in case someone needs rescuing?" Sara teased._ _ _ _ _ _

______"No! I just...well, it doesn't do much for me, I'm not much of a drinker."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I could tell that about you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Tell what?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"That you're a good girl."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kara gulped again. "Is that bad?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Not at all." Sara mused. "I do wonder what other things you're good at."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm good at a lot of things." Kara said, trying to sound confident._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I just bet you are." Sara said with a smirk._ _ _ _ _ _

______On the way back Sara stumbled twice more, giving Kara more excuses to pull her close. By the time they'd reached her dorm room Kara's blood was thrumming from all the contact with Sara. At the door Sara fumbled in her pockets for her key as Kara took deep breaths trying to keep her body under control._ _ _ _ _ _

______Once Sara found the key and put it into the lock she stopped and turned back to Kara. She eased a hand behind Kara's neck and pulled her gently towards her and whispered. "Thanks for rescuing me." She kissed Kara gently. "Do you want to come in? I'm sure I can find a way to thank you properly." She smirked._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes, god yes." Kara said before returning the kiss, deepening it as Sara opened her mouth and kissed her eagerly. Sara started to lose her balance. Kara quickly wrapped her arms around her but pulled back from the kiss. "I really want to, it's just...well, it doesn't feel right when you're so..."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Ha! You mean you don't want to take advantage of me while I'm drunk?" Sara scoffed. "Just as I thought, you are a good girl." Then she leaned in close again. "Are you sure? I could make you feel so good." At that Sara began moving her body tighter against Kara's and feathered kisses along her jaw._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Fuck, Sara! I'm trying to do the right thing here."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I appreciate that, but you don't have to worry about that with me."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I do worry about that. I don't want you to do anything you'll regret later." Kara said, trying to slow the rapid pumping of her blood. "How about...I mean...would you go out with me?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Go out with you? You mean on a date? You mean, now?" Sara said, sounding a bit shocked._ _ _ _ _ _

______"No, I mean...later. And sure, why not?" Kara asked, defensively. "Sorry, I just mean...I'd really like to take you out."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"How old are you?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm 19! Almost 20." Kara said. "What, you think I'm old enough to fuck, but not date?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well, you are young, but you've got spunk, I'll give you that."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kara reached behind Sara and pulled her phone from her back pocket. She typed in her phone number and saved it, then returned it to Sara's pocket. Then she unlocked the door and held it open for Sara to enter._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sara walked through. "Wow, it's really true that chivalry is not dead..." She said, clearly surprised at the way things were turning out._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'd love to see you again. Outside of practice, I mean. If you'd like that, well, you've got my number." Kara said._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I've got your number alright." Sara laughed, then she made her way to her bed and flopped down. "Hmmm. So you're not even going to help me get into my p.j.s?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Arrgh!" Kara watched as Sara stretched her arms lazily, causing her shirt to ride up and exposing the abs that always drove Kara to distraction. "You really have no idea how hard this is for me. I have to go. Now. Good night, Sara." Kara reluctantly pulled the door closed._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Goodnight, Coach." She heard Sara mumble as she rolled over._ _ _ _ _ _

______***_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kara assumed she wouldn't hear anything from Sara, but she was sure she had done the right thing by walking away. Sara was clearly in no shape to make a decision about inviting her in, and Sara clearly thought she was too young. Based on the way she was acting Kara thought she was only interested in sex. Kara could tell she already had feelings for Sara, and she didn't want to get into another situation where she was falling for someone who didn't want anything serious. She agreed with Lucy that she should try building an actual relationship with someone. She didn't want to get started on the wrong foot with Sara, having drunken sex and probably creating an uncomfortable situation on the team._ _ _ _ _ _

______At the next practice Kara was surprised to find it was like nothing had happened between them. She wondered if Sara even remembered. But occassionally she would catch Sara looking at her, then she would quickly look away when Kara noticed. Kara longed to talk to her about it, but she resisted the urge. She was still regularly distracted by Sara during practice, but she was determined not to pursue it. She actively avoided one-on-one encounters until another accidental meeting about 2 weeks later in the otherwise empty locker room. They crossed paths at the shower, once again wrapped in towels but this time Kara on the way in and Sara on the way out. Kara glanced at her then looked away and kept moving. Just before she entered the shower Sara spoke up from across the locker room._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm surprised you gave up so easily." Sara commented._ _ _ _ _ _

______Kara stopped what she and turned around. "Did you say something?" Kara pretended she hadn't heard while she tried to think of a response._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I said, I'm surprised you gave up so easily. You asked me out one time when I was drunk and then never again?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I got the impression you think I'm too young. Besides, I'm a coach, I can't be bothering a player who's not interested in me."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You're a STUDENT coach. That's not really the same thing." Sara said, walking back towards her. "And what if a player is interested in you?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kara looked at her with wide eyes. Sara took a step closer. Sara's skin was wet and barely covered by a towel, causing Kara's cock to twitch as she moved even closer. Kara was leaning against the door of the shower, trying to appear casual._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Even if you were interested...I'm not really looking for drunken sex. Dubious consent isn't my thing at all."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well, what is it your thing then?" Sara said with a smirk, reaching out to drag her fingers along Kara's exposed collar bone._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well, I want to...get to know you. Maybe go out. On a date..." Kara gulped, focusing on keeping control. As much as she longed to touch this sober Sara who was so close, she also knew she needed to talk to her before things went further and this didn't feel like the place for it, standing in front of her in only a towel._ _ _ _ _ _

______"A date? Not interested in say...a hard fuck in the shower?" Sara said with a smirk._ _ _ _ _ _

_FUCK!_ Kara thought. _That's exactly what I want. Seems like she can read me like a book. ___

__

__

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

__________"Never mind. You're impossible!" Kara said, exasperated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Really? I'd say I'm pretty easy." Sara laughed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________At that Kara gripped Sara's towel and lunged forward, keeping the towel from coming apart while using it to pull her closer. Kara pressed her lips hard and searching against Sara's. She could feel her surprise, then quick response as she eased her mouth open, welcoming Kara's tongue, taking her inside roughly as one of her hands slid behind Kara's neck to keep her close. As she felt Sara moving closer to her body, Kara kept the grip on Sara's towel but moved back, not wanting their bodies to touch. This was not the way she wanted Sara to find out she was different. It would be too mortifying to be rejected at this point._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"You're just playing with me. You think I'm too young. But I could make you feel so good...you have no idea." Kara husked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I think I believe you." Sara said, breathing more heavily, sounding surprised and more serious now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"But I want more than a hard fuck in the shower. I'm not interested in being your...plaything. I've been there and done that." Kara said with determination. "But if you want to go out. In public..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Hmmm...I bet you like it in public..." Sara said, some of her smirk coming back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"What?" Kara got a guilty look on her face, again it seemed Sara was reading her like a book. "Whatever, just...will you let me take you out on Friday?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Where?" Sara asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I'll figure it out. I'll pick you up at your dorm."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sara seemed to ponder the offer until finally a smile crossed her face. "Something tells me I'm going to regret this...someday. But in the meantime, I'm finding it hard to resist you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Great. Text me your number and I'll let you know what time."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Whatever you say, Coach." Sara looked pointedly down at Kara's hand gripping her towel._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Sorry, I..." She released it and stepped back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Don't apologize. That was...fun." Sara gripped her towel and turned to walk around the corner to get dressed at her locker. "See you Friday."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I can't wait." Kara said, earnestly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Kara was giving Sara an out by telling her to text in order to make plans. Kara didn't have her number so Sara would have to get in touch if she really wanted to meet. With the way she felt about Sara, she didn't want to go further unless she showed some interest in more than sex._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________That next day she was pleasantly surprised to find that Sara did text._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sara: What time should I be ready for you?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Kara sucked in a breath. Somehow even Sara's simple texts felt suggestive._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Kara: Does 7 pm work?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sara: Sure. What should I wear?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Nothing _Kara reflexively thought to herself.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara: Anything you want, totally casual._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sara: Where are we going?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara: You'll see._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara hadn't actually decided, but she knew she wanted to do something low-key and not fancy. On Friday she showed up with tickets to see the NCU women's basketball game. She could tell by Sara's face she'd made a good decision. The game ended up being really close, and by the end of it they both were on their feet, cheering for their team and screaming at poor calls by the ref. Between the jumping up and down and cheering, Kara managed to eat 2 hot dogs and a box of popcorn while Sara sipped a beer. Fortunately, the NCU women pulled it out at the end, or it would have been a real downer for their evening. In the space of about 2 hours they had both become big fans of the team._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________As they came out of the stadium Sara thanked Kara for the night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I've been wanting to see them play, I just hadn't gotten around to it. That was a blast!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'm really glad you liked it. I had a lot of fun with you." Kara took her hand as they walked together back to Sara's dorm. When they reached the door Sara looked at Kara curiously, like she was surprising herself with her own words. "I guess coming in is off the table?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara grinned, tempted, but knowing it wasn't the right timing. She wanted a chance to see Sara again before things went further physically. "I had a lot of fun with you tonight. Maybe next time."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sara looked at her thoughtfully. "In that case, maybe we should plan when that next time will be. Can I..." She seemed to lose her momentum as she realized what she was saying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"What is it?" Kara said, looking confused._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I mean...can I...do you want to...go out with me, again?" Sara asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara looked at her with surprise. "Wow, that sounded just like something I would say!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Kara! Don't leave me hanging." Sara huffed, clearly not used to making herself vulnerable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'd love to. I had a great time with you tonight." Kara said, kissing her gently on the lips and quickly moving back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"OK, Romeo. I'll text you." Sara said with a laugh. "What the fuck am I getting myself into?" She mumbled after she closed the door to her dorm room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But, as always, Kara heard every word._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The next weekend Sara took Kara to one of her favorite 'hole-in-the-wall' restaurants outside of town. There wasn't a college student in sight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Once they got settled into a booth Kara confronted her. "Sara, what's with this place? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"What? No, Kara! I promise that's not it at all. It's just, this is one of the only places in the areas where you can get real Chinese food and...I just get the feeling that you like to eat. A lot. And they serve large portions here."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara grinned, surprised again that Sara had been able to read her so well. "Well, you got me there." She said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Half way through dinner Kara realized she was rambling, telling some story from her childhood as Sara listened. She wanted to tell Sara about herself, but she was having a hard time finding a good segway into the conversation and instead just kept babbling on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'm sorry, I'm starting to ramble. I hope I'm not boring you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Of course not, Kara. You are...the most intriguing person I've ever met."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara looked at her with surprise. "I...well, you don't know the half of it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Is that right? Well, tell me more then." Sara said with a knowing smirk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara hesitated, trying to think of the best way to say what she needed to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"It's OK, you don't need to tell me anything you don't want to." Sara said after seeing her squirm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I really do want to..." Kara fell silent again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Kara, can I ask you something?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Of course, anything."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Why me?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"What do you mean?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Well, most girls on the team would jump at the chance to go out with you. Why are you interested in me?" Sara asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Well, besides the obvious..." Kara said, looking her up and down with an appreciative grin. "Seriously though. I...see you. I see how you are, at least on the field and with the team. You're the best forward I've ever seen, but instead of exploiting that, you're always taking opportunities to help your mates succeed too. I've seen you sacrifice your body for others, too. Blocking tackles when you really don't have to, willing to take that pain to protect others. But you never call attention to what you're doing or try to get credit. You're just very...noble, for lack of a better word."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sara looked a bit taken aback, like she didn't know how to respond to the compliments._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara slid her hand across the table and took Sara's hand. "You seem to want everyone to think you are so tough. Like you don't care. But I can see that you do."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sara looked at her thoughfully, "You really are something else, Kara." She began caressing her hand gently. "I know you think I only wanted to use you for sex. And maybe that was the idea at first. But I had a really good time with you at the game. And tonight. And, I hope, the next time we go out."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Yeah?" Kara said, hopefully. Then her face grew pensive. "Well, there's a lot you don't know about me. You may not like me if you knew more..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Well, I know you're kind. You're a great coach. You're always so positive and motivating. And I can tell you look out for people, too. Like you geniunely care. I like all of that. What can be so bad that I don't know?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"It's not bad, it's just...different. I don't think it's bad, but...you might." Kara said cryptically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Do you want to tell me?" Sara asked, looking concerned over Kara's struggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Yes, I...really do want to tell you..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Before Kara had a chance to spit it out their server appeared with the bill. Sara quickly paid and were on their way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara decided to wait until they got back to campus. That way if Sara reacted badly she wouldn't be stuck in the car for the rest of the ride._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Do you want to come in?" Sara asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"No, I, maybe. I just have to say this first." Kara stammered. "Sara, what I'm trying to tell you is that...well...I'm not like other girls."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I know that, Kara." Sara said quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"No, I mean...well...I'm... I have..." Kara couldn't seem to get it out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"It's OK, Kara. Tell me anything you want." Sara moved close and eased her hand behind Kara's neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I...I...Sara, I...have a penis!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You..." Sara froze. Her eyes grew wide with surprise and pulled her hand back. "You mean...?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara turned immediately to go. The shocked look on Sara's face and stammering was enough. She didn't want to hear more. She managed to stop herself from using superspeed, but she broke into a run and was nearly out of sight before Sara seemed to recover._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Kara! Kara, please come back. I'm sorry. I was just...surprised." She called as she saw Kara disappear out of sight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kara was across campus to her own dorm in no time. She went in and found Lucy waiting up for her, anxious to hear about her date. She took one look at Kara's face and knew it wasn't good._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Oh Kara." She said sadly. "Come here." Lucy said, sitting up from her lower bunk. Kara plopped down beside her. Lucy wrapped her arms around her shoulders and leaned her head against Kara's shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Tell me all about it. I promise not to kill her. Maybe I'll just hurt her. Just a liitle bit."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________By the end of Kara's explanation of her date Lucy was earnestly trying to convince Kara to call Sara the next day to talk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Kara, it sounds like you didn't really give her a chance to...take it in. It was so fast. Remember how surprised I was?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You didn't see her face."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I know, but I also know it can be quite a shock to people. Not because it's such a big deal. Just because they don't expect it. I know it was common on Krypton, but it's just not something we see a lot on Earth. Maybe just, give her a call tomorrow?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"No. I can't bear to. Anyway, I'll see her this week at practice. There's no getting around that."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Lucy decided to let it go. Kara was nothing if not stubborn once she decided things like that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You need to give people a chance, Kara. A chance to know who special you are."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Not everyone is ready for my kind of special." Kara mumbled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Their loss then." Lucy insisted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Thanks, Lucy."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Anything for a friend." Lucy said, wrapping her arms around her and squeezing her tight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lo siento, I think I never really got that image of Sara hitting on Supergirl out of my sub conscience and now it's spilling out!


	38. Don't Need Batteries to Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV, National City University, sophomore year continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone - I want to say thanks for all the feedback. The fact that so people cared enough about this story to take the time to provide comments amazes me. As a first-time Supercorp writer it's helped me better understand the expectations of the fandom. Supercorp has my heart, even if the way I express that may be different than most authors. From my perspective, showing them in other meaningful relationships only makes them stronger when they come together. I understand that isn't true for everyone, so even though it feels like giving away spoilers, I've updated my story summary and added tags to inform readers that there will be non-Supercorp relationships. I've also added notes at the beginning of chapters that contain non-Supercorp smut for readers who would like to skip those chapters. 
> 
> Thanks especially to readers providing positive comments and support - it's been an important inspiration to keep writing when I'm feeling discouraged. All that said, please note: 
> 
> ***This chapter definitely contains non-Supercorp smut, and I mean right away!***

The next practice was ridiculous. Kara could feel Sara's eyes on her, but studiously avoided them and also avoided speaking to her directly. After practice Kara stalled for a long time on the field, talking through plays with the head coach and developing strategies for the upcoming tournament. Once she was sure that Sara and everyone else had plenty of time to shower and leave the locker room she made her way in. However, when she rounded the corner into the main room she saw Sara, sitting on a bench in nothing but a towel. She was still glistening and her hair was soaked from just having a shower.

"I thought you'd never come." She said and stood up, walking straight towards Kara. Kara backed up until her back hit some lockers behind her.

"I'm sorry about the other night. I was just...surprised. I promise, Kara, I don't have any problem with...this." Sara stepped closer, trapping Kara against the lockers with one hand pressing against her abdomen, while the other hand trailing her fingers down Kara's abs. She slowly slid her fingertips over the waistband of her shorts and then lower, over the front of Kara's shorts to cup her cock through the material. "In fact, I'm finding it hard to think about anything else." she husked as she started stroking Kara steadily as her cock started to respond.

Kara grabbed the back of Sara's neck pulled her roughly towards her for a deep kiss. Sara smiled and started stroking more intently up and down her rapidly hardening shaft. "Kara, let me show you how OK I am with this." Sara whispered into her mouth.

"Jesus, Sara. Yes. Please...take it out." Kara said as her breathing was getting heavy. She thought about the possibility of the other coach coming in. She usually didn't, but the idea that she might come in was only getting Kara more excited. She didn't want to stop and it seemed Sara didn't either.

Sara didn't waste any time. Smiling into Kara's mouth after that clear encouragement, she eased her fingers under the waist band of Kara's shorts, sliding them down to expose the large bulge still covered by her briefs. She stroked the outline of her cock a couple of times before maneuvering her fingers through the opening of Kara's briefs. Kara sucked in her breath at the feeling of Sara's fingers, at last, against her bare cock.

"Oh god, yes!" Kara called out as Sara fisted her shaft and began to stroke up and down. Kara's chest began to rise up and down rapidly under Sara's grip.

"Please, don't stop." Kara moaned. She wrapped her arms around Sara's shoulders to keep her close, and was concentrating on not using too much pressure. As she looked down she saw Sara's towel had slipped down, exposing her breasts which were now bouncing beautifully as Sara started increasing the speed of her movements up and down Kara's cock. Before long she was cumming hard onto Sara's arm and stomach. 

"Oh, fuck!" Kara called as Sara continued to pump, causing Kara to continue spurting all over her.

"Wow. That was...a lot. You're really big." Sara said, cleaning herself up with her towel. " I'm not sure I can take all that in my mouth. But I'm definitely willing to try." she said with a predatory smirk.

Kara's mouth dropped open again, and Sara lunged forward, biting at her bottom lip then teasing her tongue inside. Kara managed to return to her senses enough to respond by nipping and licking into Sara's mouth.

"Sara, you feel so good." She moaned as she moved her body closer.

"You have no idea the things you're doing to me, Kara. You should see for yourself." She said.

Kara immediately grasped Sara's hips and guided her back to sit down on a bench behind her. Then she fell to her knees and looked up at Sara, asking permission silently. 

"God yes." Sara said. "Put your mouth on me." Kara wasted no time gripping Sara's thighs and spreading them into a better position to reach with her mouth. Sara reached her hand behind Kara's head, running her nails against her scalp and pulling her closer. Kara slowly kissed and licked her way up Sara's thigh until she came to her center. She paused for a moment to take her in and then dove forward, lathing her tongue tightly against her cunt.

"Oh fuck!" Sara shouted and moved her hand to push Kara's head harder to encourage her. Kara started making steady circles around her clit interspersed with long licks from the bottom to the top as Sara writhed beneath her and called for more. Sara started a low moan as Kara began thrusting her tongue inside. Kara could feel her starting to clench. She used her thumb to circle Sara's clit while she continued to fuck her with her tongue. Moments later she had Sara calling to the ceiling, announcing her orgasm.

"You are amazing when you cum. So...powerful." Kara said as she leaned back, sounding a bit in awe. Sara seemed a bit speechless and continued to sit on the bench catching her breath. Kara stood up and pulled Sara to her feet. "Come on, let's get you washed up." Not that she minded the image of Sara covered in her cum, but she wanted to get her under the warm water. She smiled as she maneuvered Sara backwards towards the shower.

"Fuck, what are you doing to me, Kara?" That was all Sara could say right before she stumbled from walking backwards and not watching where she was going. Kara snagged her before she fell, then bear hugged her for a moment before lifting and carrying her into the shower. Sara was laughing as Kara dumped her under the shower head. Sara's towel was already long gone and she started turning on the water. Kara started to strip bare as Sara watched closely in appreciation.

"Jesus, Kara. Your body...is incredible." Sara said with a gulp. Kara was already fully hard again as she moved under the water with Sara. 

"Ha, speak for yourself!" Kara exclaimed. They both luxuriated in moving their bodies against each other, completely naked as the warm water rushed over them. At last Kara couldn't wait and pushed Sara against the wall of the shower to kiss her, gently at first but they were both quickly on fire with deep, open mouth kisses, Sara writhing against the wall.

"Jesus, Kara. Please." Sara moaned. She bent her leg between Kara's legs, rubbing the throbbing cock with her bare slippery thigh.

"Please what?" Kara said as she husked as she teased the outside of Sara's lips with her tongue, then waited to give her a chance to speak. More than anything she wanted to push her straining cock into Sara's warm, wet pussy that was so, so close, but Kara didn't have a condom so that was not an option.

"Inside. I want to feel you inside." Sara begged.

She maneuvered herself to hold Sara tightly against the shower wall, determined that she not feel unsteady, and then slid her hand again down her stomach, over the top of her closely cut hairs, until at last sliding over her slippery cunt.

"Yes!" Sara called out as Kara slid a finger rough and deep inside her. "Yes. Harder, Kara."

Kara didn't need to be told twice. She added another finger and dove deeper into Sara, brushing hard against her g-spot as she arched against the shower wall. 

"Ahhh!" She called out as her head hit the wall and Kara added another finger. Kara looked to make sure she wasn't in pain and saw only desire. The sight of Sara's face opening in pleasure drove Kara harder. She grasped Sara's leg with her free hand and wrapped it tightly around her back, then hammered even deeper into Sara with the better angle. Sara started calling out with every thrust until Kara felt her clench tightly around her fingers, followed by a gush as Sara came all over her hand. Kara immediately went to her knees to lick her clean as Sara tried to catch her breath.

"Hey, come up here." Eventually let out out while still trying to catch her breath and pull Kara up to her. 

"Hi." Kara said brightly as she popped up with a smile, looking very pleased with herself.

"Hi." Sara laughed. "Sorry, I was enjoying that clean up operation, I was just worried about you drowning under all the water from the shower. Oh, and there was quite a lot of...liquid...from me as well."

"Yeah, I noticed. I was enjoying that too." Kara said with a satisfied grin. She eased Sara's leg down to the ground and moved her out of the shower stream, holding her tight so she didn't slip on the wet floor. Sara smiled directly at her and began stroking her hair.

"Where the fuck did you come from?" Sara said in amazement. "And where have you been all my life?" She laughed at her own cheesy joke and eased her fingers along Kara's jaw. She looked into her eyes like she really wanted to get some answers.

Kara's face suddenly went white. "Where did I come from? I...well...it's a long story?!"

"Relax, Kara. It's just a saying. I just meant that I've been waiting for someone like you for a long time."

Kara smiled and took a deep breath. "I've been wanting you since I laid eyes on you." She admitted with a laugh. "You have no idea what you do to me when you practice in just your sports bra and shorts."

"Hmm. Well, I may have some idea." Sara said with a smile as she eased her fingertips over Kara's lips. "You're body may be like a rock, but your face...Your face tells many tales..."

"What? How can you say that?" Kara said with faux shock.

"You're too funny. That's OK, you can keep imagining yourself as the ice queen you think you are. But I see how you hold your breath when I'd strip off my shirt!"

"What? You did? So why were you...torturing me like that?" Kara asked, flabbergasted that she had been so obvious.

"I really was hot. Watching you squirm was just a bonus." Sara said with a grin.

"You are the worst!" Kara said, exasperated.

"You may said that now. But let's see what you say in a few minutes. Assuming you can talk at all." Sara chuckled to herself. Then she pushed Kara off and maneuvered her against the shower wall. Kara watched wide-eyed as Sara went down on her knees.

"Holy Rao!" Kara said as she felt Sara grip her straining, swollen cock. Sara didn't seem to notice the odd phrase as she was concentrating on pulling Kara into her hot, wet mouth. As Sara lathed her tongue over Kara's tip Kara threw her head back, trying to muffle her calls as her hand gripped Sara's hair. "Oh fuck yes!" she said as Sara took her in more deeply.

Kara looked down to see Sara's mouth stretched around her cock, steadily taking her in more deeply. Kara realized her own mouth was hanging open as she watched her throbbing red cock moving in and out. Sara started to gag before she was able to take Kara fully into her mouth.

"Sara! Are you OK? I'm sorry, I...didn't mean to...." She pulled back and eased out of Sara's mouth quickly.

"It wasn't you, Kara. I was trying so hard to take you all the way in...I just...ran out of room. Maybe when we're in a better location I can work on that." She said with a smirk.

Kara just looked down at her then closed her eyes to focus on keeping herself under control.

"Oh, sorry! I...didn't mean to leave you in such a state."

"I didn't want to say anything, but I was starting to wonder if you were into making people suffer," Kara laughed. Kara didn't want a verbal response, so she moved her hand to encourage Sara back towards her cock. She let out a deep groan, almost a growl, as Sara slid her tongue back over the tip of her cock, then sucked Kara into her mouth, as deeply as she could without gagging again. Kara was overwhelmed again by the heat and tightness of Sara's mouth as she created a tight seal of sucking and moving her tongue against Kara's cock.

"Oh, fuck, yes!" Kara called out as Sara began to bob her mouth over her cock. Sara reached for Kara's other hand and moved it to her hair so that now Kara had both her hands on Sara's head. She was grateful for all the 'practice' she'd had with Susan, so that she could trust the control of her strength. She started moving her hips slowly, fucking Sara's mouth as she'd encouraged her to do. It was such a powerful feeling thrusting in and out of that slick, hot mouth open for her. She could feel the steady pounding from her core, her balls tight with the need to release. 

"Sara, Sara, I have to...stop." Kara loathed saying those words but she didn't want to cum in Sara's mouth. At least not unless she was sure she wanted that too.

Sara gripped her cock then eased it out with a satisfying pop. Kara watched, fascinated.

"That was incredible, Sara. I just...I didn't want to...cum in your mouth..." She was now becoming very conscience of how naked and hard she was. She felt she might burst if Sara so much as breathed near her cock again.

"I want it, Kara." Sara looked up at her before engulfing Kara's cock as deeply as she could to the back of her mouth. As Sara started bobbing her head again it only took moments before Kara started emptying in her throat.

"Oh jesus, oh fuck...ahhhh..." Kara lost all her words and sentence structure as she burst line after line of cum into Sara's open throat.

Sara swallowed all that she could, then eased Kara out of her mouth. As she climbed to her feet Kara immediately kissed her. The taste of her own cum in Sara's mouth was making her even more turned on. She leaned her forehead against Sara's and gently wiped her cum off her chin where it had dribbled out.

"That was...fucking amazing, Sara."

Sara kissed her then stepped back under the water. "I'd love to stay for more, but I need to get cleaned up this time. I have a big test tomorrow and my study group is meeting soon. This class is kicking my ass, I need all the help I can get."

"What class is it?"

"Organic chem. I hate it."

"Hmm, I think I can help with that." Kara said and slipped under the shower with her. "I'd be happy to offer some personal tutoring sessions."

"Ha! Well don't you sound cocky." They both giggled at her pun. "Why do I think those tutoring sessions would end up a lot like this?"

"Would that be so bad?" Kara laughed. "Seriously though, Sara. I really do know what I'm doing and would be happy to help. Might be more effective use of your time than working in a group."

Sara looked at her thoughtfully. "You are being serious, aren't you? You have such an earnest face. I guess, well, that would be great. Thanks Kara."

"Great. I promise, nothing will happen until you're fully prepared for your test."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Sara smirked.

Kara was true to her word. They worked for hours to get Sara up to speed on all the key operations and concepts she needed for her test. It was well after midnight as Kara was running through the test prep sheet to make sure they'd covered everything. When she looked up she found Sara asleep, her head resting on her arms on top of her text.

Kara chuckled, then gently lifted Sara and carried her to bed. She curled into her pillow and Kara was tempted to curl up beside her and go to sleep as well. But she had promised herself nothing more would happen that night. She wanted to make sure Sara knew she genuinely wanted to help her, not that she was looking for payback in anyway. Waking up to Kara in her bed, uninvited no less, might give her the wrong idea about Kara's expectations.

The next day Kara got a call from Sara late in the afternoon.

"Hey! How'd it go?" She asked.

"It went...really well. For the first time I felt like I knew what I was doing."

"That's great! I'm so glad to hear that." 

"Thank you, Kara. No one has ever been able to help me grasp this before. How are you so good at that?"

"I've always been good at sciences and math. And I was just having fun helping you. You're really cute when a light bulb goes off in your head as you figure something out." Kara teased.

"We should celebrate tonight."

"Definitely. What should we do?"

"Oh, I'll think of something. I'm already thinking of several things I'd like to do." Sara said in a low voice

"Sara! What are you doing to me? I'm on my way to class."

"Well, I promise to take good care of you later."

"I can't wait." Kara gulped and grinned to herself.

***

Kara continued to tutor Sara in chemistry and also helped her when she got stuck on some of her math assignments. They found that Sara was a big help for Kara for her Western history class, which she found not necessarily difficult, but boring. It was infinitely more interesting when Sara was helping her study. Mostly they would study at the library, but sometimes when one of their roommates was out they would study in their dorm rooms. On those nights the study session would usually get derailed. They would lean too far over the same text, their lips would be too close and one or the other couldn't resist moving their lips together, and then it was all over. Or Kara would suddenly stop and slide to her knees in front of Sara's chair, gripping her thighs then determinedly working her out of her pants. Or Sara would throw down her pencil and climb into Kara's lap, gripping her neck and grinding down on her cock through their pants. When something like that happened the studying was over for the night. But most nights they had roommates to deal with, or tests, and overall they were both improving their studies by working together. When their roommates were staying in their rooms too many nights in a row they would often end up in the locker room shower together, one or the other pressed against the wet wall as the warm water sprayed over their bodies as their senses were assaulted with pleasure. Both women reveled in trying new things and bringing each other to new heights.

When it was clear it was not a passing thing, Kara talked to the head coach about their relationship so that everything was above board. They decided together it was better not to let on to the rest of the team, just in terms of team unity it didn't seem ideal to have the star of the team fucking the assistant coach even if it was two students. For the most part they were able to keep it together on the practice field and the team was left in the dark. They did try to be careful, but sometimes their feelings would bubble to the surface and they had to work hard not to be obvious. Occasionally Sara would do something so amazing on the field during practice that Kara would get worked up and make some comment to Sara under her breath, like "Ms. Lance, I'm going to need to see you in the locker room after practice." 

Or Sara would get excited and make a comment to Kara along the lines of, "Coach, I could really use some extra help working on that new position later." She would make the comments in a low voice so that only Kara could hear, then give her a look like she was wanted to 'climb her like a tree', a phrase that Kara had learned early on from Sara. Overnight or weekend tournament trips were especially fun, often with unhelpful rooming arrangements that required clandestine meetings in odd places discovered in unfamiliar hotels. They always had the team van as a back up plan. Kara was always up for the chance of exposure, it only got her more excited and Sara loved to do things that Kara more excited. Sara found that she was the ultimate winner in those scenarios, often they ended with Kara fucking her relentlessly against a wall or some other surface not intended for such activities. Eventually they were able to temper their desperate meetings, both feeling more confident that they would always have another chance, they just had to be patient.

They occasionally made time for a date, but between their partner studying, rugby practice and trips, and the occasional roommate-free night they were spending a lot of time together. Overall Kara was really enjoying herself, though she would still occasionally have melancholy days. Sara was good about recognizing that and giving her space. 

One night in their room Lucy couldn't resist taking credit for Kara's happiness.

"See, I told you, Danvers! You just needed to get into the game. Just give yourself a chance to be happy."

"You were right, Lucy. But, I have to point out that I found this one on my own." Kara grinned at her.

"All at my behest!" Lucy insisted. "I'm really happy for you, Kara... But...I do miss you."

"But Lucy, I'm right here." 

"Yeah, kind of. But you're also gone quite a lot. I totally understand but...I do miss how things were when you were my wing man."

"I'm always here for you, Lucy. No matter what. Just say the word and I'll be there."

"Faster than a speeding bullet?"

"Even if I have to leap over tall buildings in a single bound!" Kara laughed.

Lucy grinned. "I know that, Kara. And it means the world."

"What about you? When will you be ready to 'get into the game'?" Kara asked.

"I don't know. Not yet."

"Well, let me know when you are. I have a guy I want you to meet..."

"Kara!"

"What? He was one of my best friends in high school and...I think you'd like him." Kara said, grinning.

"Forget it!" Lucy said firmly. "At least...not yet."

"OK, bossy." Kara said. "But just say the word..."

"Good-night Kara!"

"Sleep well, Lucy."

***

Time flew by that semester. Kara had never had so much fun, coaching and her friends on the team, hanging with Lucy, and her quickly developing relationship with Sara. She was also maintaining high grades and still able to squeeze some indoor scuba diving in when she was feeling stressed.

At Thanksgiving Kara and Lucy both went to Midvale for the break. Clark and Lois were going to be there along with Alex and her new girlfriend, Maggie. Kara couldn't wait to meet her, she'd heard a lot of great things but hadn't met her. Sara didn't feel comfortable joining that tight bunch and passed on Kara's invite to come along. On Thanksgiving Day Kara convinced James and Winn to stop by late since they were in town visiting their families too. It was a blast to have the gang back together. The "Superfriends" ended up on the roof porch laughing at their high school stories of glory and also very embarrassing moments. 

Lucy, Lois, and Clark went on a beach walk during the Superfriends second-story porch reunion and Lucy took the opportunity to let them know that she knew about Kara and Clark. They were a bit shocked, but in the end they seemed relieved to realize they didn't have to keep up the charade, which was especially exhausting at gatherings like this.

Kara was so glad to be able to spend time with her sister. Hanging out with the Superfriends and Clark over break made Kara reflect more on the "Superhero" business. She was still determined that she wasn't going to become another person apart from herself on the world stage. She wanted to have a relatively 'normal' life, with a relationship and family. If she became 'Supergirl' how could she ask someone to share her life, to accept all the risks, the constant interruptions to important life events? If she wanted a family, she would then not only be risking her partner, but her child. It felt like too great a sacrifice. Still, she longed to get into the mix, to fight the bad guys, to really make a difference.

"Earth to Kara!" Lucy said, waving her hand in front of Kara's face on their drive back to school.

"What? Sorry, I...I was thinking..."

"Clearly. What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about...Lucy, it's embarrassing." Kara said, stopping herself before launching into a ramble.

"Wait, never mind. I don't want to hear any details about you fucking your girlfriend in the locker room!" Lucy said with a laugh.

"What?! No, I...well now that you said that I'm getting distracted by the mental image..."

"Kara! You're supposed to be entertaining me as I undertake this arduous drive, not daydreaming about Sara."

"Sorry, but you were the one that started talking about sex in the shower..."

"Who said anything about a shower ?!" Lucy yelled. "So. You never told me straight what you were thinking of." Purposefully changing the subject.

"Well, it's hard for me to tell you anything 'straight'." Kara said with a chuckle.

Lucy reached over an smacked her shoulder. "You know what I mean."

"Sorry." Kara hesitated. "I was thinking about...well...being a superhero, I guess."

Lucy was quite for a while. "I guess being around Clark would do that."

"Yeah. But it also makes me think about how hard it is for him to have a normal life. He and Lois have given up so much."

"Speaking of, I told them I know last night."

"You did! That's great. I know this is ironic coming from me, but secrets hurt. That's partly why I want to avoid the superhero life. Imaging being an entirely different person from what the whole world sees! I just...that's just too hard."

"Kara, there are plenty of ways to be a superhero."

"Yeah, yeah. I know that. But is there anything where you can have that much fun?"

Lucy got a far away look. "Well, have you ever thought about the military? It's one place where you can see a lot of action."

"The military? You mean, like, join the Army?"

"Well, there are other branches, even though Army is the best..." Lucy smiled.

"Like what?" Kara asked, her excitement barely contained.

"Umm, well, for someone as amphibious as you...you should think about the Navy!" Lucy couldn't contain her excitement either, thinking how it would be to have someone like Kara in the military. "If you had the right position you could be right in the thick of things, really making a difference in some critical situations. You could become a SEAL! Oh my god, Kara. You could be like a, secret superhero."

Kara got quiet. It never occurred to her to consider the military. "Wait, do they even let women be SEALS?"

"Well, they do but I don't think there are any women. YET. Maybe you could make that happen. If they could see you in action...well...I'm sure they'd want you operational."

"I don't know, I've always planned to be a journalist."

"So you want to be just like Clark, except, no super duties. Don't you think you might get...bored? Or frustrated if you don't have any heroic outlets?"

Kara looked at Lucy, always surprised how she could read her so easily. "Yes. I guess I'm just hoping there are things I can do secretly. Like, without the whole get-up."

"Not into the super suit idea? Well, just think about it, Kara. You could really make a difference in the military. There are some really bad actors out there and having someone like you on our side, well, that would be amazing. If you could join the SEALS they would train you to kick ass on land and sea. Sure, you'd have to hold back, but you seem to have nearly perfect control of your strength now. You could still do amazing things and be involved in some really important events. You could be where the action is."

"I'll think about it, Lucy. I just...that just never occurred to me." Kara couldn't help but be excited that there might be a way for her to be a 'secret super hero'.

"So, what'd you think about James?" Kara said, changing the subject.

"James! Is that who you've been wanting to set me up with?"

"Maybe. So? What did you think?"

"Well, he's definitely hot. Seems really nice...and smart and...well, yeah, I can see what you mean. I didn't really talk to him, there were so many people around. And besides, I'm not looking for a relationship."

"I know you always say that, but...maybe it's time you did." Kara said, a grin spreading over her face.

"Kara, I see that look on your face. What are you plotting?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking James might enjoy visiting me for the weekend sometime. Maybe in the spring. That's when love blooms, right?"

Lucy gave her a punch to the ribs. "Ouch!" 

"When will you learn, you always hurt yourself more than you hurt me when you do that." Kara was really laughing now.

"Argh!" Lucy said.

"Just...think about it. No pressure."

"OK, I'll consider hanging out with James is you think about the military."

"You've got a deal, Lucille." Kara said with a smirk.

"What? Oh no. You did not!"

"Oh yes, I did!" Kara laughed. "I heard Lois call you that this weekend to try to get you in line."

"Kara! I don't want to hear that name again...unless you want me to start using your nickname..." A vicious smile spread across her face. "Supergirl!"

"You wouldn't!" Kara said, shoving Lucy's shoulders. "OK, Sarge, you win. You sure are bossy."

"It's your tax dollars at work. I'm training to be the boss of a platoon of bad ass soldiers!" Lucy said, wistfully. "Someday. And when I am...well, look out!"

"I know you will." Kara said and reached over and squeezed her hand. "I can't wait to see it."

"Thanks Kara." Lucy said, looking far down the dark road ahead. "Maybe you'll be there with me." She grinned.

***

It was just two weeks after they got back from break that Kara was jarred awake by her cell phone late at night. She started to sit up before realizing her arm and shoulder were trapped under Sara. She was able to stay over once, sometimes twice a week when Sara's roommate stayed with her boyfriend, but it always took a minute for her to figure out where she was when she did. She eased her arm out from under Sara who mumbled and rolled over. She fumbled for her phone and once she found it she saw it was Alex. She knew she wouldn't call this late unless it was important.

"Alex, what is it? Are Eliza and Jeremiah OK?"

"They're fine, Kara. I'm sorry...it's Clark..."

"Clark? What happened?"

"He was attacked, I don't know a lot of details..."

"Clark is attacked and gets hurt a lot, Alex. Is it serious?"

"I guess it must be. They've taken him to a secret facility that deals with alien affairs. They don't usually call us about these types of things, that's what makes me think it's serious. But I don't know exactly what's wrong with him."

"Can I go there?" She asked, she was already reaching for her clothes and yanking them on.

"No, Kara. It's a secret facility, very difficult to get access. Lois is there with him. There's nothing you can do, but I wanted to let you know before you see it on the news."

"Alex, are you sure there isn't anything I can do? I feel so...helpless. Maybe I can provide some Kryptonian blood."

"And how would that work, exactly, since you're impermeable to needles?"

"I don't know, maybe they have some super needles or something? They deal with aliens, right?"

"Kara, you just have to stay put. Why don't you talk to Lucy, maybe she can call Lois and see if there are any updates? They really didn't give us much detail."

"OK, I will. I've got to go see if she's in the room..."

"So you're not in your room. Let me guess..." Alex said with a smirk in her voice.

"Alex, I have to go, I don't have time for this."

"OK, Kara, there's just one more thing you should know."

"What?" Kara asked impatiently.

"The attacker. They believe it was Lex Luthor."

Kara froze. "Oh no. Are they sure?"

"Yes, it sounds like they're pretty sure."

"Oh no! Lena..." Kara gasped. "Alex, can you...call Sam tomorrow? Just...I know she must be blaming herself for this. I wonder...maybe I should try to talk to her. Just...try to find out how she's doing? Please."

"Sure. It's been a while but I'll call her. It would be good to catch up with her anyway."

"Thanks, Alex."

"Sure. Kara, you should go to sleep. There's really nothing you can do. I just didn't want you to hear about it on the news."

"OK. Call me if you learn any more. I'm going to see if Lucy's awake."

"Or, you'll see whether you can accidentally wake her up when you come in, you mean."

"Whatever, good night Alex."

"Good night, sis."


	39. Undoing the Laces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV, NCU sophomore/junior year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had many inquiries about when our girls will be together again - it means a lot that people care so much about these two! Good news, they will talk early in this chapter, then after that we are just 1 or 2 away before they are in the same place! As always, feel free to skip ahead or drop out - no need to inform me if you do so. I absolutely love to hear from people, I just ask that you respect my story and not try to discourage me from following through on it. Thanks so much for reading!

Kara managed to make enough noise to rouse Lucy when she got back to her dorm. Lucy also hadn't heard about the attack but immediately texted Lois who called her back. Lois had the same information about Clark, that he was stable but not in the clear. She also reiterated that Kara shouldn't try to come, there was nothing to be done. Lucy told Kara that she sounded more worried than she'd ever heard her before. She had been through a lot, and clearly this was serious.

"Did she say who they thought it was?"

"She sounded convinced it was Lex Luthor. Somehow he placed a red sun over Metropolis? Lois said Clark thought Lex was working with him, that they were allies, and this came out of no where. And they haven't managed to capture him yet." Kara plopped down on Lucy's bed and put her head in her hands. 

"Kara, why is that part especially upsetting?"

"Lex Luthor is...Lena's brother." She said quietly.

"Lena, you mean...your Lena?"

"She's not my Lena." Kara said glumly. "But I care about her very much. I know she must be devastated. I just...wish I could talk to her. Tell her this isn't her fault. She's been worried about Lex doing something crazy. She was convinced that Lex or her parents could be dangerous to me or the Danvers if they found out we were together. She thought is was too dangerous for us to try. But she probably had no idea it could be this bad. And Lex is still on the loose! I feel so helpless."

They were watching the news, a channel that was following developments very closely, but they seemed to be reporting the same things over, no real new information coming in. 

"Let's try to sleep, Kara. I'll call Lois again in the morning and see if there's any news. Here, lay down with me." She said, switching off the news. Kara was emotionally exhausted and let Lucy ease her down on the bed and then spoon her from behind.

"He's going to be OK, Kara. There's no one stronger than Clark. Well, except maybe you." She said giving her a squeeze. "Even if you are the little spoon."

Kara chuckled and closed her eyes. She soon drifted off and slept till the sun came up.

When they turned on the news in the morning they heard Lex had been captured. Lucy explained that it was likely the Department of Extranormal Operations, a secret government organization in charge of alien affairs. She told Kara that she'd learned about it by snooping through her father's office and that she absolutely could not tell anyone else about it.

"Wow, there's a whole government agency focused on aliens?"

"Sure, it's actually a pretty big operation. It's amazing that it is still a secret. They mainly deal with dangerous aliens but also can help in cases like this. I think Clark worked pretty closely with them for a while, but not anymore."

Just then Kara's phone rang and she grabbed it. "Sara!"

"Hey, what happened to you last night? Everything OK?" Sara sounded concerned. "I missed waking up to you in my bed."

"Yeah...I mean, no, everything is not alright..."

"Did I...do something to upset you?"

"No! No, of course not...it's complicated. I'm not sure how to explain..." Kara's voice dropped off. "Sara, can I call you back?'

"Sure." Sara sounded worried as she hung up.

"Lucy, I think I need to tell her. About Clark...about me. I really should have said something sooner. It all happened pretty fast. I just don't want to keep this big secret from her. That really messed things up for me and Lena when she found out without me telling her."

"Are you sure you can trust her?"

"Yes, I really think I can. I know she really cares about me."

"You have to do what you think is right. Just, be careful, Kara."

"I will. I'm going over there. Call me if you hear anything." Kara used super speed to change and zipped out the door. It was nice to have a friend she didn't have to pretend in front of all the time. Not long later she showed up at Sara's door with coffee.

Sara opened the door but didn't step aside, clearly worried something had changed between them that she hadn't realized.

"Sara, sorry I disappeared and acted so weird on the phone. I just, can I come in?" Kara smiled sheepishly. "I brought coffee!"

Sara gave a hesitant grin. "How can I say no to coffee?" Sara stepped aside and opened the door wide. "I can't say no to you either, for that matter."

Kara was relieved to see Sara's roommate was still out. She sat down heavily as Sara watched her closely. She took a deep breath and spit it out quickly, about being an alien, about her connection to Clark, and about how worried she was about him. She didn't talk about Lex, or about Lena. _One step at a time_ She thought.

Sara was clearly shocked, but not upset. 

"That...explains a lot." She finally said.

"Like what?" Kara asked.

"Like...how you do things to my body that seem...beyond human. You make me feel...well, you can make me feel ways I've never felt before. And also, you're unbelievably strong, and I never see you work out and...Well, a lot of things just... make sense." Sara got quiet. 

"Are you angry?"

"No, not angry. I'm surprised. It's just weird to think that I've been...falling for an alien."

Kara looked at her with wide eyes. "You mean me?"

"Yes, Kara, I mean you! Do you see me spending a lot of time with any other aliens? Wait, scratch that. Apparently I might not even know if I am or not!"

Kara looked at her, amazed. "Thanks for understanding. It's not that I didn't trust you but, I have to be very careful who I tell."

"I don't care about that. What did you think about the other thing I said?"

"You mean about, falling for an alien?"

"Yes! You're leaving me hanging, Danvers."

Just then Kara's phone rang again and she grabbed it immediately when she saw who it was. "Alex! Hang on just a minute."

Kara held the phone away from her face. "I'm really sorry, it's Alex, I have to take this." Sara nodded and Kara went outside to talk to Alex with more privacy.

"Any more news on Clark?"

"No, they haven't called. What's Lois say?"

"Same. Just that he's stable but not out of the woods. Lucy said she sounded really worried."

"Did you hear they got Lex?"

"Yes." Kara got quiet for a few moments. "So, did you talk to Sam?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Well, sounds like you were right. Lena is pretty freaked out. Really upset and insisting she should have been able to stop it. Sam said she's tried to convince her it's not true, but she's worried Lena is really spiraling down. Sam says Lena's been doing really well, better than ever in terms of letting go, being happy. I guess she's finally in a healthy relationship with someone who treats her really well, but she's pushing her away now. Her family owns Amertek and it sounds like Lena's worried about impacting their company as well."

As Alex talked Kara went through a roller coaster of emotions, upset that she was right that Lena was blaming herself, worry about her spiraling down, happy that it sounded like she was letting herself be happy, but she couldn't stop a pang of jealousy at the thought of her with another woman.

"Wow, Amertek. Isn't that one of the biggest weapons manufacturers in the country?"

"I'd say the biggest." Alex said.

"I guess they're well-suited for each other. At least her parents should be happy that she's dating another heiress." Kara mumbled and then got quiet.

"Kara, you still there?"

"Yes, sorry. Just...processing." Kara said. "Is there anything I can do? Do you think...I should try to talk to her? Maybe it would be good for her to hear from an alien. Who knows her...her heart."

It was Alex's turn to be quiet. 

"Alex?"

"Sam did ask if you might be willing to call her. I'm just not sure...if it's a good idea."

"Alex, give me the number! If Sam thinks I should then I'm calling her."

Alex stayed quiet. "Alex! You promised you would stop interfering with my decisions about what's right for me. If I can help I want to try. That's all this is about."

"Fine. I know I promised, I'm just worried about you, Kara."

"She had nothing to do with this. She wants so much to...overcome the baggage of her family. All she wants is to make a difference for good in the world. She deserves so much better. Maybe I can't help, but it won't hurt to try."

"Are you sure?"

"Give it to me, Alex." Kara said with grim determination. They hung up quickly after Alex promised to text her Lena's number.

Kara knocked on Sara's door again.

"I'm sorry, Sara, I have to go now." 

"Is this about Clark? Did you hear anymore about his condition?"

"No, but there's something I need to deal with. I'll call you later, I promise."

Sara looked unconvinced. "Sure. Talk to you later."

"Thanks for understanding." Kara gave her a kiss on the cheek and turned to go. Sara watched her jog off and closed the door behind her.

***

Lucy had made herself scarce when Kara came back with a determined and wild-eyed look on her face after talking with Alex. Kara waited for what felt like 20 rings before Lena picked up.

"Hello?" Kara heard her voice at last, just as she was sure it would go to message.

"Lena!" Kara realized she hadn't thought through what she wanted to say, she just needed to get through to her.

"Kara?" Lena sounded baffled.

"Hi. Yes. Hi Lena." Kara said, still at a loss for words.

"Hi." Lena said with something like suspicion in her voice. "Did...did someone at the DEO ask you to call me? Because I don't know anything about this. Lex and I have been estranged. We haven't spoken in over 6 months."

"Lena! Of course not! I would never...I just...I was just worried about you. I know this must be so hard."

"Me? Why are you worried about me?"

"Because I know you, Lena. I know you're blaming yourself for not stopping this."

"Well, who else is there to blame? You know I've been on to him for years. I was trying...I just... It was so hard to get close to him because we were fighting so much. I just never dreamed it could be something this serious. At least not now. I thought I had more time!" Kara heard Lena's voice crack as she choked back a sob.

"Lena, come on! There was nothing you could have done! You did everything you could. You had no evidence, and no one else in your family to believe you."

Lena didn't respond for a while as she composed herself. "I can't believe my brother almost killed Superman. Do you know anything? They aren't saying much on the news about his condition." she said quietly.

"He's stable, Lena. He's not through it yet, but they have him in a facility where they specialize in dealing with aliens."

"I assume you mean the DEO?"

"Oh, yes, well, yes. How did you know about the DEO?"

"I've been doing a lot of research on alien affairs as well as anti-alien groups. I just...have my ways, I guess." Lena paused. "You seem to know more than the news."

"Yes, a bit I guess. Lena, Superman and I aren't just the last Kryptonians. We're also cousins."

Lena got quiet again. "I see. So my brother almost killed your cousin. Why would I even be surprised at anything at this point?" Lena's voice was got very high by the end and Kara could hear the catch in her voice. "I'm so, so sorry, Kara."

"Lena, please, just stop. this has nothing to do with you. You did everything you could. Please don't blame yourself. Sam says...you've been doing really well. That you've been very happy...and...in a good relationship."

"Sam called you!?"

"No! No, I...asked Alex to call her. I was worried. And it seems I was right to be."

"I'm going to make this right, Kara. I promise. I'm going to make this right."

"What do you mean?"

"Now that they've captured Lex, I'm not going to wait years and years for my parents to step back from Luthor Corp. I'm going to start turning things around NOW. Luthor Corp is going to become a force for good. On my timetable, not theirs."

"How, how is that possible? You're not even finished with school!" 

"Now is the time. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Luthor Corp is in a free fall right now. The Board will be desperate for a positive way to spin this to save their skins. I'm working on a proposal that I don't think they'll be able to resist. If I can get them on my side, I might be able to gain enough control within the company to make major changes."

"But how...without your degree...you're what, 22?"

"Oh, I can be pretty convincing when I want to be." Lena said in a low voice.

"Ha! No kidding..." Kara felt her body react to Lena's voice and quickly changed the subject. "But what about your degree? You can't drop out."

"I'm absolutely not dropping out. I don't have that many classes left. I'll just streamline it. It might take an extra semester since I won't go back full-time."

"Lena, you don't need to uproot your life because of something Lex did! You are allowed to have a normal college experience!"

"What's so great about normal, anyway? This is for the best. This is my destiny, Kara. I may as well get started on it sooner than later."

"Wow, sounds like you've got it all figured out."

"I don't know about that. But I've got the Luthor family figured out. And I'm going to beat them at their own game."

"Lena, you're part of the Luthor family. What about your father? I know you've never had much use for your mother, but think what this will do to your relationship with your father."

"I don't care anymore. The way he didn't stand up for me over selling the farm, knowing it was the one place I felt at home. There was no good reason to sell it, except that Lex told them about us. Maybe it was Mother's idea, but she couldn't have done it without him. And you should hear the way she and Lex talk about aliens and immigrants. They do it to provoke me and while we're in screaming matches he just sits there. Either he doesn't care, or he feels the same way they do, but is too embarrassed to admit it. If I would have had him on my side maybe I could have stopped Lex! But he never was. No, it's enough. It's time. I'm done with all of them."

"But then, who will you have on your side? You'll be so isolated without...your family."

"I've been isolated with my family, for years now. And I'll always have Sam."

"And your...girlfriend?" Kara asked quietly. 

"Lana." Lena said. "Yes. She'll be there for me." 

"I'm really glad you found someone who makes you happy, Lena. Is she good to you?"

Lena was quiet for a minute. "She is. She puts up with my moods, and makes sure I eat, and...well, makes me feel less alone."

"You deserve that, Lena. You deserve everything you want."

"I'll never have everything I want." Lena said quietly. "But...it's enough. It's more than I deserve."

"Please don't say things like that. You deserve the world."

"What about you, Kara?" Lena said, changing the subject. "Have you found someone to make you happy?"

"I...yes. I have." She said with a small sigh.

"Do they...take care of you?"

"She does. It took a long time for me to...well. Anyway...I'm good."

"I know you're good, Kara. You're the best. No one will ever deserve you, but I'm glad you've found someone." Lena paused. "I'm sorry, Kara. Sorry for everything, back in high school, I mean. But surely you see now how right I was to try to protect you from my family?"

"Lena, let's not re-hash the past. I'll never believe that losing you was the right thing for me. But I understand why you believe it was. There's nothing for you to be sorry for, anyway. We were both...so young. I had so much to learn. And you taught me a lot."

"Ha, well, I suppose that's true. Good and bad."

"Mostly good." Kara said. When Lena didn't respond she added, "You'll always be my first love, and that's something special."

Kara heard Lena choke back another sob, then take some breaths and pull herself together.

"I have to run, Kara. I have a company to overthrow!" She said, changing the subject abruptly. Kara could tell she was trying to sound lighthearted.

"Remember, Lena, there's someone else who will always be on your side. If you ever need me, I'll be there for you. Come what may."

"Thanks for calling, Kara. It's really good to hear your voice." Lena said sounding casual, but her voice cracked at the end, giving her away.

"Bye, Lena. Good luck with...storming the castle!"

"Ha!" Lena burst out with a laugh at Kara's reference to one of her favorite movies. "You're still adorable, I see."

"And you're still impossibly stubborn, I see." Kara said, sighing deeply.

"Accurate." Lena said.

A few moments passed, neither wanting to end the call. Finally Lena spoke up. "Good-bye, Kara. Please, promise to take care of yourself." Her voice was cracking again.

"As you wish**" She said, hanging up.

After the call Kara continued laying on her bunk and staring at the ceiling. As she stared her mind ran back to many memories with Lena, memories she had practiced putting aside for many years. It was all flooding back. Her call with Lena had set her off balance. Though she didn't feel she succeeded in convincing Lena not to blame herself, she at least let Lena know that she didn't blame her. And even though Lena seemed devastated, she seemed to be responding in a positive way, with a proactive plan to make changes. Kara dearly wished Lena wouldn't uproot her life over something that wasn't her fault, but she could also tell by Lena's voice that it would be pointless to try to talk her out of it. She believed she was fulfilling her destiny, and nothing Kara could say would change that.

She called Alex talked through everything with her so that she could talk to Sam and let her know she had tried.

"I think she's getting ready to blow up her life as she currently knows it. And there's not a thing anyone can do about it." Kara said soberly. "She's so damn stubborn. I just hope she doesn't isolate herself from Sam. And Lana. It's so hard for her to let people in, I hope she doesn't shut out the ones who really care about her, now that she's going to alienate her family."

"Nice word choice, Kara." Alex chuckled grimly. "It's good that you tried. Are you OK? You don't sound good."

"Yeah. Yes, I'm OK. I'm having a lot of flashback memories from when we were...whatever, right now. I worked so hard to push them down for so long, it's probably good to just let them in and get through it."

"Have you talked to Sara?"

"Sara! Shoot, I need to call her. She was really understanding about me disappearing without any explanation. Right after she told me she was falling for me... I need to let her know things are OK. She must be worried."

"What? She said she was falling for you and you ghosted? That's harsh, Kara."

"I know. I need to call her. And I need to talk to her about Clarke, about Lena, about all of it."

"Kara, are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I trust her, Alex. If you knew her better you would too."

"I'm glad to hear it, Kara. I trust your judgement."

"Thanks big sis." Kara said quietly. "By the way, I'm glad I got to meet Maggie, finally."

"Yeah, me too. We got off to a rough start, but we've made it to a good place now."

"I'm glad, Alex. You deserve someone who recognizes how fantastic you are."

"And you don't think Maggie is that person?"

"I didn't say that! She just seemed a bit...aloof. When we were in Midvale."

"She's still recovering from a rough breakup! It's just a matter of time."

"OK. I trust your judgement." Kara said, giving Alex the same due that Alex gave her. "So, she's good to you?"

"Well, she did agree that we could celebrate Valentine's Day, even though she hates it."

"Wow." Kara said sarcastically before catching herself.

"Kara! It's tied to a difficult event from her childhood!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. Just...I want you to be with someone who truly values you. Who is willing to make sacrifices for you. Because you're the best. And I'm not sure you always remember that."

"Hmph! So who's acting like the big sister now?" Alex said. "So, wise sister, you better go. Call your girl."

"Right! Bye Alex."

After that Lucy came in and she talked through the call again. 

"Sounds like you did the best you could." Lucy said finally.

"I do feel better that I tried. But it feels worse to hear how down she is. And how determined she is to turn her whole world upside down." Kara said grimly "Then again, if anyone can turn things around at Luthor Corp and make it a force for good, it's Lena."

"I suppose." Lucy said and changed the subject. "So, did you 'come out' about being an alien to Sara?"

"Yes. She was really great, wasn't upset at all. In fact, she told me she was falling for me."

"What? Talk about burying the lead! Aren't they supposed to be teaching you not to do that in journalism?" Lucy said with surprise. "So? What did you say?"

"Well, Alex called before I could say anything. And then I rushed off to call Lena. I was dealing with so many things...I couldn't process it all!"

"Wow, talk about leaving a girl hanging! You should call her."

"Yeah, I know. I was just trying to process this first. I'll do it now. Better yet, I should go over."

Minutes later she was at her door. When Sara opened the door Kara could tell she had screwed up by the look on her face.

"Sara. I'm sorry, I...time just got away. There's a lot going on with Clarke and...well, there's more to tell you as well." Kara's face was scrunched in worry. "I'm really sorry, I know you went out on a limb telling me your feelings..."

Sara stared at her for a minute before stepping back. "Get in here, dork." Sara said, opening the door wider. After Kara took a few steps inside Sara gripped her in a hug. "I'm sorry, I know you're worried about your cousin. It wasn't the right time to say something like that. I was just...surprised about all you told me and was feeling emotional."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling emotional. Or with talking about emotions. I just...had a lot going on." Kara proceeded to tell her about her call and past history with Lena while Sara held her and listened quietly until her phone buzzed, jarring them out of their bubble.

Kara grabbed the phone. "Lucy! Any news?"

"Yes, Lois called. Sounds like Clarke is out of the woods!"

"Thank Rao." Kara breathed a deep sigh of relief. 

"She said you can call him tomorrow if you want."

"Great. Thanks for calling, Lucy. I gotta go, I need to call Alex now."

She called Alex and they talked for a while and when they finally hung up Sara handed Kara a cup of hot chocolate.

"Here, drink this. You don't need to talk more. Let's just...lay down. You look like hell, Kara." Kara's eyes widened in surprise. "Don't get me wrong. You're still criminally beautiful...it's just...you're exhausted. We don't need to talk about this now. Let's just lay down."

Kara looked at her gratefully, downed the hot chocolate, and did a face plant on the bed. Sara rolled her over and gently pulled her shirt over her head and eased her out of her pants before pulling one of her own oversized "NCU Women's Rugby" shirts over Kara's head. Then she rolled her over onto her side and slid in behind to wrap her arms around Kara.

"How come I'm always the little spoon?" Kara grumbled as her eyes closed.

"I'd say you get your fair share of coming at me from behind." Sara chuckled.

"Sara! That's not a helpful comment if I'm supposed to be going to sleep..." Kara said, laughing.

"Sorry. Go to sleep, Kara."

"Thanks. For taking care of me and being understanding." Kara said, yawning. "Before I go to sleep, I just want you to know...I'm falling for you too, Sara."

Sara kissed the side of her face and squeezed her tighter. "Good night, Kara."

***

After that things returned to relative normal for a while. Clarke recovered and Lex went to jail. Kara regularly googled Luthor Corp and Lena. Sure enough, after the winter break she got a couple of hits reporting a contentious board meeting. Then before the end of that quarter following the break there was a long article in the Wall Street Journal about major turnover happening at Luther Corp. It seemed Lena succeeded in the first steps of her plan.

Kara had invited James to visit one weekend and, just as she suspected, he and Lucy really hit it off. They started communicating through texts and emails and a few months later were dating, albeit long distance. Kara was thrilled to see Lucy getting excited about her new relationship, as well as happy to see James with someone that she loved and believed would treat him well. Kara also noticed she was partying less and studying more, though they still loved to hit the occassional house party and dance their hearts out.

Lucy would occassionally bug Kara about her SEAL idea. Eventually Kara agreed to meet with a recruiter and discuss her options for joining the Navy. She started getting excited about the idea that she could be on a team of people, working together to make a real difference in critical situations. Lucy convinced her ROTC sargeant to let Kara compete against her Army cadet classmates in the spring obstacle competition which her father was attending. After she sent him a copy of her transcript with all her advanced classes and straight As, she got his attention. At first the General seemed annoyed that she wasn't interested in the Army, but Lucy convinced him how valuable she could be, especially as a SEAL since she was such a good scuba diver in addition to being so strong. Of course, she didn't mention that she was also good in the air, truly fulfilling the "Sea-Air-Land" motto in a way that may never have been true before.

Once the General was on board he connected with some of his high-up Navy friends to let them know about Kara, her strength and her smarts. It turned out the Navy had been on a search for women who had the potential and interest in becoming SEALs, and once they came to realize her potential things seemed to get on a fast track towards pushing her in that direction. Army and Navy officials made an agreement so that Kara could begin training with Lucy's cadet squad since there was no Navy presence on campus. Kara still wasn't sure whether it was what she wanted to do, but she had a blast training with Lucy and her fellow soldiers. 

As Kara became more invested in the idea, she also worked with her guidance counselor to see how she might speed up her graduation date as she had done in high school. She had always carried full loads and added coursework. Since Sara would be graduating at the end of the spring semester Kara didn't see any reason to try to stick around for two more years. She loved college but was starting to feel like it was time for bigger and more exciting things. She and her counselor were able to set up a plan for her to graduate by the end of her junior year.

Kara gave up her coaching position with the rugby team during that spring semester so that she could add more course work and physical training. She didn't need the strength and endurance training as much as she wanted to learn about working with a team, how to control her strengths so that she could make big contributions to team efforts without being obvious. More and more of her focus became about preparing to be the best soldier she could be, hopefully leading to a position as a SEAL.

Of course Kara remained the team's biggest fan and never missed a match or an after party. She still loved to let loose and dance with the team, but often she and Sara would sneak away before it got very late. Since they started dating Sara started to cut way back on partying. She told Kara that she didn't want to waste time with her by passing out or just being out of it. She didn't want to feel numbed, but wanted to be feel everything.

During that last semester Sara really helped her become comfortable in her skin, especially with her biological differences. She told Kara about how important 'coming out' as bisexual had been for her when she was in high school. Kara had never really been in the closet, but she realized the similarities to hiding her secrets. Sara told her how liberating it was to tell people, and how understanding and accepting most of her friends and family were. Even when people weren't accepting, it was such a great relief not to be in the closet that it didn't matter. 

Thanks to Sara's guidance Kara did start to 'come out' to friends about her different biology. It was a huge relief to her not to have to be so careful all the time about what she was saying or what she was wearing. She realized it was an important part of who she was, and she needed for friends to know. It wasn't just about warning people who she might be in a sexual situation with, it was about letting people get close to her and know more about important parts of her life. 

One night during a "rest break" from some vigorous activities Sara was laying on her chest and Kara realized what a difference it made in her life to be able to tell people and be OK with their reactions to her differences. Though most reactions were affirming, there was occasionally a bad experience, but it was worth it to have her freedom to be herself more fully with other people. She had enough to contend with due to her alien status, especially with the law unclear as to her rights. To feel comfortable with her body and OK with people knowing about it was so important to her.

"Thanks, Sara." She said out of the blue as she stroked her hair. "Thanks for helping me be more me."

Sara seemed to know exactly what she meant. "There's no one better than you, Kara. Don't ever forget that. There's no reason for you to be ashamed of anything about yourself. Ever. You're the best person I know. The best person I ever hope to know."

Kara got quiet. Sara's words reminded her of Lena's words on the phone near the end of the year. She kissed the top of Sara's head, then rolled over so that her back was to Sara.

"Looks like the little spoon needs some rest." Sara chuckled.

"Just restoring my energy. The days are so still short, I'm low on sun power. Don't worry, I'm going to wear you out in the morning."

"Is that a promise?"

"You better believe it." Kara said as she drifted off.

***

As the end of the semester grew near, Kara tried to spend as much time as she could with Sara, which was tough given the ever-increasing demands on her time with training and the finals of her overloaded schedule. Together they celebrated when they found out Sara had been accepted into an elite flight school. It wasn't all good news though, because it meant she would to leave for training just two weeks after her graduation. Once that program started Kara wouldn't be able to see or even talk to her for 3 months. If Sara did complete the arduous year-long training program she would then begin missions that could also require long periods away, sometimes without any communications allowed or possible. By the time Sara made it through her year of training, Kara would be leaving for training with the Navy, if all went according to plan. If she succeeded as a pilot with this elite squad her ultimate goal was to become a part of an even more elite group who trained to go to space. It was a long shot, but it was her dream. Kara supported her in every way she could, and had been especially helpful in getting her to the required levels she needed to achieve in math in order to qualify to apply.

Their pending separation was heavy on their minds as the end of the semester neared. They tried to spend as much time together as they could, but mostly avoided talking about what they would do after graduation.One night they were studying in Kara's room while Lucy was out. Kara was studying intently when she noticed Sara was watching her.

"What is it?"

"You, Kara. It's always you." Sara put down her pencil and walked to Kara and knelt in front of her. 

Kara set down her pencil and turned to look down at her. She took Sara's face in her hands. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's just...I'll miss you."

"It's only 3 months. It'll go by fast."

"It's not just that. It will never be..."

Kara stroked the side of her jaw. "I know. It's going to be very different. We won't be able to see or even talk to each other very often for...who knows how long."

"It's just, I never imagined wanting to be in a long distance relationship. Come to think of it, I never imagined wanting to be in a relationship at all."

They both laughed at that. 

"But I want to try." Sara said.

"Me too." Kara said and kissed her.

It was less than a year later when Kara found herself sitting at the same table, all set up with Skype and excitedly waiting for a call from Sara. Sara had made it through the first 8 months of her training. They'd been able to spend 10 days together over winter break, but other than that they were only able to Skype now and then. Once Kara graduated it would probably become even more challenging to connect. Their time together over break had been bittersweet, both knowing that after it was over they weren't even sure when they would see each other again.

They had only spoken twice since break and Kara had been looking forward to this Skype session with Sara. Lucy made herself scarce to give them some privacy. Kara beamed when Sara's face appeared on the screen. Sara smiled at her, but Kara could see heaviness behind her eyes. After they quickly caught up on the basics Kara confronted her.

"Sara...what is it? I can tell there's something...you don't seem like your usual self. Is everything OK?"

"Everything's fine, Kara. I just...wanted to talk to you about something." Sara hesitated.

"You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know. This is just...so hard." Sara paused again while Kara waited. "Kara...I've met someone."

"Oh." Kara said, all the air having gone out of her chest.

"Yes, I, well. Nothing's happened, I promise..."

"But you want something to happen?"

"Kara, I still love you. It's just...so hard. It's so isolated when we're on missions. It's lonely, not being able to see you or even talk to you."

"Who is it?" Kara asked, her eyes stinging with tears.

"Her name is Ava. She's an officer, she's been on the squad for 3 years now. She's been really good about showing me the ropes. She's been a great mentor to me and we spend a lot of time together. And the other night, well, she tried to kiss me and,...I pushed her away, of course! But I keep thinking about it and...I just knew I needed to tell you about her."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I know if you were here this wouldn't even be a question..." Sara's voice dropped off.

"I think I know what question you're asking." Kara said quietly. "I'm sorry, Sara. I'm just not...cut out to share. It's not for me."

"I know that, Kara. I just...I don't want to lose you. But I don't know what else to do. I'm not as strong as you." Sara burst into tears. "I miss you so much."

Kara was quiet for a while, looking down at her hands, then taking a deep, resolute breath. "We tried, Sara. We really did try." Now tears were flowing down her face as well. "We have to accept that it's not going to work. We're both pursuing jobs that are all-consuming, and we have to focus and work hard to succeed. Who knows when we'd be able to be together for any reasonable amount of time? We knew this was coming, we just weren't ready to admit it."

"I'm so sorry, Kara. I never, never wanted to do anything to hurt you." Sara choked back a small sob. 

"Sara, I wouldn't trade our time for anything. It was a wonderful, wild ride." Kara said, reassuring her. "You helped me so much. You helped me become comfortable in my own skin. I can't tell you how much more confident and open I've become during our time together. You were the one who taught me to be more open and not try to hide some important parts of myself from my friends."

"No pun intended?" Sara chuckled through tears.

"Definitely pun intended." Kara said with a watery smile.

"You've been so good for me too, Kara. I've learned so much from you." Sara said. "You've...made me a better person. God, I sound so cliche and cheesy! What have you done to me? I'm supposed to be a bad ass who doesn't care about anything."

"You are a bad ass! And it's OK to care. Caring is a good thing. In the end caring will only help you push harder."

"But it hurts so much..."

"I know. But look at all the good that's come from it. We've done so much together."

"Can we still...stay in touch? Just talk now and then, between missions sometimes? I don't want you to disappear from my life, Kara. You mean too much to me."

"Of course. I don't want to lose you either. It might be hard at first, but let's promise to stay friends."

"Promise." Sara said with a sad smile. She put her fingers up to the screen. Kara mirrored her from her screen so that it was like their fingers were touching.

"Good-bye, Sara."

"Bye, Kara." Sara looked at her intently. "I'll always love you." Then she immediately disappeared from the screen as she disconnected.

Kara sat staring blankly for a while, trying to adjust to the idea that they were splitting up after working so hard to make it work long distance for nearly a year. It hurt, but she knew it was the right thing. She was glad Sara had been honest with her. It seemed Ava was the catalyst they needed to admit it just wasn't going to work. She realized that subconsciously she had already figured that out, and it made it easier.

By the time Lucy came back Kara had ordered pizza and was starting in on her second one.

"Kara, what happened?" Lucy froze when she came through the door.

"Lucy, I always eat two pizzas."

"I know. You should have your 'happy-to-be-eating" face on. You look like...you're not even enjoying it."

"Sara dumped me." Kara said glumly.

"She what? I'm going to kill her! You're telling me that after you've spent this last year being chased by beautiful women and men, holding out because of Sara...? And she just..."

"She didn't really dump me." Kara interrupted. She just...helped us face reality. It's the right thing, Lucy. The truth about our lives was staring us in the face, we just weren't ready to deal with it."

"Did she cheat on you?" Lucy asked, still angry.

"No! No. But she met someone and...it's not important. It was only a matter of time."

"Yeah." Lucy agreed, starting to calm down. She sat down by her and wrapped Kara in a tight side hug and leaned her head on her shoulder.

"Do you want some of this?" Kara asked, gesturing towards the pizza.

"Wow, are you losing your appetite? This is serious..."

Kara elbowed Lucy in the ribs, gently. "Come on! You know I always share with my bestie."

"I know." Lucy said quietly. She took her hand and squeezed. "I can still throttle her if it will make you feel better. It would definitely make me feel better..."

"No throttling will be necessary." Kara chuckled, then got serious. "Thanks for always being there for me."

"Anything for a friend." Lucy said, squeezing her hand. "I love you, Kara."

"Love you too, Luce."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Footnote: For anyone interested, the movie Kara quotes at the end of her call with Lena is 'The Princess Bride'. It's a classic, hilarious film about a farm boy and a princess that fall in love. "Have fun storming the castle!" is just a silly send-off scene with Carol Kane and Billy Crystal. "As you wish" is something the farm boy Wesley says while he's serving the princess because he isn't allowed to say "I love you" (though she doesn't know that). I haven't decided if Kara is saying this subconsciously to Lena or as a secret message. Either way, there are some fun parallels between our two girls and Wesley and his princess.
> 
> A/N: I couldn't help but add a fix-it for James and Lucy. I felt like I was on some schizophrenic roller coaster in the first couple of seasons with the writers blowing up Kara and James using Lucy, followed by blowing up James and Lucy with Kara, and one or two episodes later blowing up James and Kara for...Mon-el? Ugh. WTAF? And then to make it so much worse, James and Lena? Lucy could have been a great, strong character if they weren't just using her to create angst around Kara and James. James and Lucy together made sense to me, both are good people and so I wanted to put them together here.


	40. I Could Have Danced All Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV: Lena/Sam interchanging. Senior year/post-graduation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter contains non-Supercorp smut.**

After the attack, Lena stayed with her family for two weeks to help them through the immediate crisis, both family and media. Her parents were furious and even though her mother made a comment under her breath that Superman had it coming, even Lillian didn't dare try to defend Lex's actions. Even if she did believe in what Lex did, she was panicked about how it was impacting Luthor Corp. And giving the impression she was sympathetic to Lex was not good for the bottom line. At least Lena's father seemed to believe what he did was wrong.

After helping with the immediate aftermath Lena went back to school to catch up and meet with professors and her guidance counselor. She arranged to continue her course work and teleconference in for her classes if needed. Then she would return to take tests in person. When she started at M.I.T. the Luthors had agreed to provide funding for a new biomedical engineering library to the tune of millions of dollars. That made it difficult for the school to say 'no' to her reasonable requests, especially since it could be justified given the extenuating circumstances. The school's lawyers were already working with Luthor Corp lawyers to see whether the library could be named after someone else, anyone else, rather than have the Luthor name attached to it. The building was still under construction, but everyone believed having the Luthor name on a library, even if it would be another 2 years before it would be finished, was not going to go over well at all. The school didn't want to do anything to irritate the Luthors further, and going along with their daughter's demands was the least they could do.

Of course Lana was having a bigger problem with the plan. She tried to be understanding, but she was devastated to realize how little time she would have to spend with Lena while they finished school. She assumed that things would continue the same way during their final spring semester before graduation. And while Lena was not breaking up with her, she could see already how busy she was becoming, and how little time and focus she had for their relationship. Still, she did everything she could to help and make the decision about her new life plan easier on Lena.

Lena's first coup attempt was at the first board meeting of the year. She gave her parents no warning, but asked for time to speak during the meeting. Board members were accustomed to giving the bosses' daughter what she wanted, but they were all shocked to hear the plan she proposed, which would essentially make Lillian and Lionel figureheads, keeping their titles in name only and stripping them of power. Decisions would be made by a very small committee made up of select Board members. Lena selected people who she knew she had some pull with, and most of them came around to the idea during the meeting. However, most of the board members were very loyal to Lillian and Lionel, since they were hand-picked for that reason, and they turned Lena down cold. 

Following that meeting she managed to get follow up meetings, albeit in secret, with all board members except for two. Apparently, people had been intrigued by what she presented and wanted to hear more, especially if they could do it without Lillian and Lionel finding out. By the time of the next meeting a month later Lena had a solid 60% of the board behind her and easily won support for her "redemption" plan. It didn't hurt that Luthor Corp stock prices had continued to tank over the interim month.

After that Lena had even less time for school. Developing proposals and strategies for the overhaul and secretly guiding the committee consumed her. She managed to keep her straight 'A" record, but when she came in for tests she often didn't stay longer than two nights and before returning to Metropolis where Luthor Corp was headquartered. She would always stay with Lana on campus and they would squeeze as much time as they could between tests and classes. Every other weekend or so Lana would fly to Metropolis and spend the weekend. They would hole up in a luxurious hotel and stay in bed late and order room service. But often Lena would still have to field calls in the afternoon to adjust for the various time zones where her partners were based. And she was often distracted by some important intrigue going on with Luthor Corp due to very serious difficulties still going on with the company. Things that were too complicated to explain to Lana during the short time they had together. And Lana felt silly going into details about her mundane life at college, and without realizing it they stopped talking much about what was really going on in each of their lives. When they were both at school it all came naturally, between work at the Lab and often taking the same classes, they had so much in common and so much they could work together on. Lana told Lena she could feel them drifting apart, and they she would do anything to stop it. Lena just looked at her sadly. She knew Lana was right, but between Luthor Corp and trying to finish school from a distance she didn't have the energy to try to figure out how to fix it.

"I'm sorry Lana. This is my life now. I would love it if we could just continue the way we were at school. But those days are over for me. My number one priority is about turning this company around. Timing is everything. If I have a chance to do it, it has to be now. That or wait until Lillian dies. And that is one tough old bitch. Honestly, I think she'll outlive me."

Lana's eyes were shining. "I know that, Lena. And I'm not giving up. I just...really miss you. I miss us doing things together. Silly things, like getting pancakes in the middle of the night, or working through homework together, or just being in the same room while we both do completely different things."

"Those aren't silly things, Lana. Those are...everything. And I miss them too. And I miss you. I really do. But my hands are tied."

"Maybe after I graduate...I could move here. Work for the company. I could help in the research arm of Luthor Corp..."

"I don't know, Lana. I don't want you doing something for me that will derail what you should truly be doing with your future. With your life. You have to think about yourself. We have so much ahead of us..."

Lana looked crestfallen. "I don't mind making sacrifices to be with you Lena. What worries me is...do you really want to be with me? I understand you're dealing with a lot right now and I can wait as long as you need. I just need to know that...you want me to wait."

Lena looked at her thoughtfully. "Lana, I...honestly, I can't...promise you anything. I can't think that far down the road. I don't feel good about asking you to wait. It's hard to see over the horizon, and what that would even look like once the wait is over. When I try to envision us in the future...I don't...I can't see anything."

At that Lana choked back a quiet sob "When I think about the future, I so clearly see you. That's the one thing I can see, the one thing that's clear. Lena, you are so good, you're working so hard. You're brilliant, and determined, and...I know you're making huge, important changes at Luthor Corp. And I want to support that. When I try to think about my future, the first thing in my mind is...you.

Lena kept quiet, looking at her hands. "I'm sorry. I just...that's not where I am right now. And I don't know when or if I will get there. I...Lana, you've been for good to me. And at school we were so good together. I had enough energy to focus on our relationship, on you and your needs, not just my own. I'm just in a different place right now. I'm treading water and I don't have anything left to...give back."

"That's OK, Lena. You don't need to. You can just let me...take care of you for a while."

"But that's not really fair. It's not fair to you. You clearly need more. You deserve more. More than I can give you."

"Lena, what are you saying?" Lana asked, her voice going cold.

"I'm saying...I think...we need to take a break...I'm sorry, but...this just doesn't feel right. It feels good to be with you, but also it makes me feel guilty. Guilty that I'm not doing right by you. Guilty that you're missing out on your last days at college because you're focused on me. And I'm not there. And you're hanging on for something I can't promise. The truth is...I'm just not worth that kind of sacrifice."

"Lena, don't you dare! Don't you dare try to make this about you not being good enough. Using this type of pity party bullshit as a way out...it's really beneath you. Just say what you want to say."

"Fine. It's over. Is that what you want to hear?"

Lana's face dissolved into tears, but she quickly seemed to pull herself together and put on a brave front. She walked across the room to grab her bag and started shoving her clothes into it as Lena looked on. She went into the bathroom and came out with her cosmetic back and threw it in and angrily zipped up bag. As she marched towards the door Lena moved quickly to cut her off.

"Please, don't leave like this." Lena wrapped her arms around her. "Lana, I love you. You mean so much to me. I'm sorry for trying to say I'm doing this all for you. The truth is, I don't know. I just...I know it's not right for you to keep hanging on and waiting for me. To put up with second best. You deserve to be someone's number one priority. You deserve nothing less than that. And you know I'm right about that."

Lana remained frozen in her arms. Lena kissed the side of her face gently and whispered in her ear. "Thank you. Thank you for loving me. For helping me forgive myself and accept your love. You've done so much for me...you'll really never know..." At that Lana gripped the back of her neck and pushed their lips together. Lena hesitated only briefly before kissing back passionately, moving her tongue deeply Lana's mouth as they slipped back into the familiar feeling of their mouths moving together, though both now feeling more desperate, feeling it was their last chance to be together. Lena pushed forward, trapping Lana against the door and moving her thigh roughly between Lana's legs and gripping the side of her ass to ease her leg up and around her back. She started grinding her hip bone hard against Lana's center before realizing what she was doing and coming to a halt.

"What the...I'm sorry, Lana, I didn't mean to..." Lena said between deep breathes. "I'm just making this worse..."

"Please, don't stop. Just...just one more time..." Lana had wrapped her arms tightly around Lena's back to keep her from moving away. "Please...fuck me." she pleaded into Lena's mouth. At that Lena gave a soft gasp, then hitched up Lana's other leg so that both were around her back and lifted her and kissed her again while bracing her against the door. Then she turned and carried her to the bad and dropped her awkwardly. She then stood up and they both began to tear away at their own clothes until they were both in their bra and underwear. Lana started to take off her panties but Lena stopped her.

"Let me." She said and ran her fingers up Lana's thighs as she lay stretched out on the bed. Lena leaned over her to pepper kisses along her stomach as she eased her panties down and off. She teased her fingers over Lana's dripping cunt, slipping her index finger steadily over her clit as Lana started to arch to get closer. 

"Mmm, oh fuck, please, I want to feel your tongue." Lena quickly obliged by easing down the bed to delve her tongue into Lana's heated pussy, then sucking and licking steadily against her clit while sliding her fingers lower to Lana's opening before hesitating, as if asking for permission.

"Yes, yes Lena. I want you to fill me up." Lena pushed roughly inside with two fingers as Lana called out at the stretch.

"Lena...yes...oh, fuck yes!" Lana moved 

She continued the tight pressure against her clit as she thrust two fingers deep into Lana, who called out at the feeling of being filled. Lana rocked her hips hard against her tongue as Lena began to move her fingers in and out steadily, pressing up against her front wall and making her squirm with pleasure.

"Yes, fuck, your mouth is perfect, Lena. Please, I want more, inside." Lena added a finger and started thrusting steadily faster, deeper.

"You feel so good. Mmm, I'm going to make you cum so hard." Lena groaned out and started thrusting harder and deeper while circling Lana’s clit with the tip of her tongue. Lana responded with louder more frequent cries until she finally reached her climax.

"Lena! Oh fuck,...Lena." She rode out her orgasm, gripping the back of Lena's head to keep her close, gyrating her hips and moving against Lena's tongue even more desperately. Finally she eased back down to the bed. Lena gently kissed her way up Lana's body. 

"That was amazing, Lana. I love it when you let go like that." Lena kissed her cheek as Lana continued to recover, still breathing heavily. "Thank you for..." Lena felt a tear slip off her cheek onto Lana's as her words got caught in her throat.

"Shhh. Let's not talk anymore. Let's just...enjoy our last night together." Lana said, putting her finger across Lena's lips to shush her. 

Lena kissed her finger. "Whatever you want."

"Hey, that's my line." Lana chuckled. "And by the way, what I want right now is for you to roll off me and take your bra and panties off." Lana said in a husky voice. “Now.”

"Yes, boss." Lena grinned.

After Lena stripped and settled back on the bed Lana eased slowly on top of her, straddling her hips. Partly because she was still wobbly from her intense orgasm, but also she seemed determined to make it last as long as possible. As she began methodically kissing her, starting with her face and slowly down her neck, Lena could see there was more to it than being in a post-orgasmic state. Lana would kiss and lick gently, then pause and look, then start kissing again, slowly making her way lower.

"You're exquisite, Lena, in case I've never told you." Lana said as she traced the tip of her tongue over Lena's belly button, smiling as Lena's flesh quivered.

"You have told me." Lena said, running her fingers through Lana's hair affectionately. "And so are you, by the way."

"I just...want to try to remember." Lana continued to take her time and after a while Lena began to squirm, anxious to feel Lana touch her more deeply. She resisted saying anything to her, determined to let her do whatever she wanted without Lena's direction. By the time Lana took Lena's clit into her mouth she was already very near the edge. As Lana worked her over Lena came hard, before Lana had even touched her at all with her fingers. Lana didn't allow her time to rest before pushing hard and deeply into Lena with her fingers, still keeping her tongue moving and rolling Lena right into a second orgasm before she even realized what was happening and she didn't let up after the second. After the third intense climax Lena was gasping and reaching down to Lana's head to steady her movements. She could feel the tears sliding down her own cheeks. The intensity of the three intense, back-to-back orgasms along with the realization that this was her last night with Lana was making her very emotional. The realization that she was going to be alone, again, was hitting her. She dropped back against the pillow as Lana crawled up and kissed her deeply.

"God, I'm going to miss you." Lena said through her tears, stroking Lana's hair.

Lana was trying to kiss her tears away, but Lena could feel that Lana was crying too, and her tears were adding to Lena's own. She wrapped her arms around Lana's neck and pulled her close.

"Thank you, Lana. Thank you for...everything." She said, her voice cracking. Lena was exhausted, from the arguing, the emotional fall out, the multiple orgasms, from all of it. She closed her eyes tightly to try to push out the dread of being alone descending. She knew she was doing the right thing by not letting Lana hang on. And she knew she was going to pay a heavy price for it.

"Let's sleep for a bit. You're so tired, Lena. Just, try to get a little sleep."

Lena had no energy to argue and soon drifted off to sleep. Hours later she roused briefly at the feeling of Lena kissing her on the cheek but quickly went back to sleep. 

The next morning she awoke to an empty bed. A quick survey of the room told her Lana and her bags were gone. The kiss on the cheek that Lena was vaguely aware of was Lana’s good-bye.

***  
Lena kept up her frenetic work and school pace and managed to graduate on time. The last couple of months after her break up with Lana were the worst. It had been two and a half years since she had been at school and not been with Lana. Even though they were broken up for part of that time, she would still see her because they were working for the same research lab. But after Lex's attack Lena had quit her job. She did see Lana across the room when they were taking the final in a class they shared. Lena looked at her intently until Lana glanced up and noticed her. She looked surprise, then gave Lena a sad smile, then looked down. Lena heard the message loud and clear - it was too soon for them to talk.

Lena chose not to attend the graduation ceremony, not wanting to risk creating a media spectacle. Her parents were trying to be as low profile as possible, and since it was well known Lena was at M.I.T. she didn't put it past the jackal media to show up and try to get some pictures. She didn't want to ruin anyone else's day with her drama. Lana sent her a text during the ceremony to let her know when her name was read out loud from the podium.

"Wish you were here." Lana added to the text. Lena sent her a heart to acknowledge it but didn't write more.

After graduation Lena threw herself into the company full time. The Board had agreed to her idea of a select operations committee to make decisions and move quickly on changes, under the conditions that she remain in the shadows. It wouldn't do to have people know that a newly-graduated 22-year-old had so much influence in a multi-billion dollar corporation. Lena pushed hard to change research priorities and introduce new, humanitarian-focused initiatives, and the press was starting to notice. Stock prices began to stabilize and after a couple of months started to rebound. After that Lena had the credibility to make more sweeping changes. They went so far as to allow a new name for the company - L-Corp, in an attempt to distance the company from the Luthor name.

Lena was never willing to coast on her success, but continued to push and bring on new, innovative thinkers to push the boundaries of what they could do with their research. After a year of working to overhaul L-Corp, Lena was able to open a new biomedical facility with over 50 scientists. She told Sam that this was her ultimate dream, to be able to make major medical breakthroughs that made a real difference in saving and prolonging lives. 

By this time Sam on her way to her goal of becoming the youngest Chief Operating Officer in the country, having secured a coveted spot with a top tech company based in Metropolis. Lena rejoiced that they would be in the same city again. Having little energy for activities beyond work, Lena hadn't really been dating or making new friends since graduation.

Less than a year after opening her new biomedical research facility, Lena was able to bring on one of the most sought-after scientists in the country, Jack Spheer. Though still young he had made major strides in the field of using nanobots in medicine, one of Lena's secret dreams on her long list of ideas to change the world. Though she was thrilled to have him join L-Corp, at first she found him arrogant and annoying, so much so that she complained to Sam over one of their many lunches, which they insisted on despite efforts on all sides to take away that time.

"Well, he has reason to be arrogant, don't you think? He is kind of brilliant." Sam offered weakly. "I know, I know, no need to be an asshole about it."

"Exactly. I have a lot of brilliant scientists, but none of them get under my skin the way he does."

"Maybe you should try to talk to him."

"And say what, exactly? Please stop being such an asshole? I'm not sure I'm allowed to say that, as a boss."

"Technically, as a boss, you can say that. As long as you follow it up with specific examples of what you mean. What you want him to do differently. You can't just leave it at 'don't be an asshole'"

"Wow, you are really diving into the Human Resources side of things at Cyberdyne!"

"Well, if I'm going to be boss I need to know these things. I'm already involved in a lot of the decision making about top hires."

"That's fantastic, Sam! I'm so proud of you." 

"Well, it's not the same as secretly running a multi-billion dollar corporation that is going to save the world, but it will do." Sam said with a teasing grin.

***  
After many months of research on the use of nanobots for medicine, Jack started making some important breakthroughs. Lena couldn't resist regular visits late at night to see how things were going. Eventually Jack asked her if she would consider joining the team part-time. 

"Lena, even when you're just passing through the lab you're giving us brilliant ideas. Just imagine if you joined the team. You could make a major contribution to the most important medical discovery of this century.

Lena smiled warily. "I don't know, the company takes a lot of my time..."

"Just think about it."

"I will." Lena said thoughtfully. "And when did you stop being an asshole? That really snuck up on me."

Jack looked at her in shock. "What do you mean?!"

"I mean you were insufferable when you got here. And now you're...acceptable. Almost likable. Maybe success is helping your personality." She laughed.

"Wow. I guess I'll take that as a compliment." Jack said, grinning broadly. "Please think about what I said. I think we could do amazing things together."

In the end Lena wasn't able to resist the thrill of the joining in on the nanobot research and found herself spending a few hours every day in Jack's lab. After a few months working together Jack asked her out. She brushed him off, but he continued to try every few weeks, coming up with more elaborate ideas about what they could do on their dates. Lena would always turn him down and it became a running joke, though Jack was clearly remained serious underneath the teasing.

Sam picked up on the situation and began to bug Lena about it.

"Lena, come on! How long has it been since you've dated anyone?"

"It depends what you mean by date..."

"Please, I don't want to hear anymore. Just...go out with him one time. He's brilliant, not an asshole anymore, and hot. What more do you want?"

"It's too risky. This project is our most important, by far. We can't afford to screw things up and make it awkward to work together. And I'm his boss! Is that even allowed?"

"It is. You just need to inform your supervisor if it gets serious. And since you don't have a supervisor...I don't know, you can just report it to HR."

"It's so handy that you've boned up on your HR rules." Lena said sarcastically.

"Listen, Cyberdyne Systems has a charity ball coming up. We're raising money for Doctors Without Borders and you know you have to represent L-Corp anyway. Why don't you just bring him? Make his day. Hell, make his year. You'll have someone you know you can talk to and you won't have to ditch half way through."

"I'll think about it."

A month later Lena found herself walking into the ball at the Metropolis Museum of Natural History, a magnificent old building with tall, stately stone pillars and marble floors. She's followed Sam's insistence that she invite Jack, who had been over the moon at her invitation, despite her insistence that they were only going as friends. She had to admit he looked quite handsome in his tux. 

"You look fantastic, Lena." He said. She wore a dark red, closely fitting dress that was off the shoulder and it was doing amazing things for her cleavage. Even she couldn't deny she was dressed to kill. She hadn't been out in a while and felt like splashing out, not to mention the bonus of the look on Jack's face. 

Lena made her way through the crowd, handling the many people who wanted to talk to her with charm and ease. Jack watched with amazement.

"Wow. You are really good at that!"

"At what?"

"At being charming, handling all the hangers-on. Of making people feel like they are the most important person in the room, briefly, then moving on quickly and not getting hung up."

"I've been doing these events since birth, Jack." Lena said grimly.

"How about making an escape?" Jack said with a smirk.

"Jack, I need to stay at least an hour."

"I just meant, escape to the dance floor."

Lena sighed and gave him a small smile. "Sure. What do I have to lose?"

They made their way out to the middle of the floor and Lena eased her arms over Jack's shoulders. They swayed slowly and Lena actually felt herself relax in his arms. They spent so much time together, Lena felt perfectly comfortable and it was a nice escape from dealing with the crowd. She began to glance around over Jack's shoulder to see who else she recognized at the ball. As she looked at the door she saw a woman with shortish red hair looking beautiful in tight black dress, sleeveless and cut above the knee. She looked gorgeous and, so familiar...Suddenly Lena froze as it dawned on her.

"Lena, what is it?" Jack asked, concerned.

"I...I know that woman." Lena said, openly staring. "Sorry Jack, I need to go find Sam."

"No worries. I'll just go grab a drink. Can I get you anything?" Jack asked as he watched her hurry off, too far or distracted to hear his question.

Lena eventually found Sam at one of the bars far from the entrance.

"Sam!" Sam turned and her face lit up when she saw Lean. She reached to give her a hug.

"Thanks for coming, Lena. When do I get to meet Jack?"

"Sam, forget about that. Alex Danvers is here!"

"What? Why would she..." Sam's voice dropped off. 

"Did you know she was in Metropolis?"

"No, I had no idea! We've been out of touch for a while. Really since before graduation..."

"So. Are you going to talk to her?"

"Sure. Of course! I'm just...a little nervous, I guess. I haven't seen her since...well, we were juniors in high school! That was ages ago..." Sam began to fiddle with her hair. "How do I look?"

"Gorgeous, as always." Sam was wearing a perfectly tailored dark royal tux. Her makeup was perfect, as always. Lena reached over and adjusted her bowtie and shirt collar, more to reassure her than out of necessity. "Now get out there and find her before the clock strikes midnight!"

Sam made her way through the crowd, getting frustrated in her excitement to find Alex among the hundreds of people. Finally, she spotted her at the main bar chatting with a beautiful older woman. Sam hesitated, not wanting to interrupt anything but longing to talk to her. As she got closer Alex happened to glance up and saw Sam walking towards her. Then she glanced back to the woman at the bar and continued talking until it seemed to dawn on her who she had seen. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence did a double take. After that she didn't try to continue talking but just stared as Sam walked right up to her.

"Sam." Alex said, clearly surprised and a bit breathless.

"Alex." Sam smiled, looking right back at her like she was the only person in the room.

After a few moments Alex seemed to realize where she was. She looked back at the woman at the bar who was grinning broadly at her, clearly amused by her reaction to the tall brunette stranger.

"I'm sorry, Sam, this is Dr. Prince. I'm serving my residency under her at the All Saints Hospital. She was so kind as to invite me to this ball, along with a couple of other residents." The doctor turned and smiled at Sam, who was surprised at how much more radiant the woman was up close. She had long, raven black hair and a mischievious look in her eyes.

"Lovely to meet you. I'm with Cyberdyne Systems. Are you working with Doctors Without Borders?" Sam asked as the two women shook hands.

"Yes! Well, I don't go on field missions much anymore, though there was a time... Now I just help with fund-raising and keep an eye out for promising recruits. Like Alex. I thought it might be fun for her to come and learn more about the organization. And about fund-raising. She's thinking about doing research after she finishes her medical degree. And the kind of research she's interested in doesn't happen without money." Alex noticed she had an intriguing accent but she couldn't place it.

"So true. That's why Cyberdyne Systems loves to support Doctors Without Borders. You're doing amazing work!" Sam said, no longer really looking at the doctor but back at Alex.

"And we so appreciate it. This ball itself could raise close to a million dollars. It has in the past, anyway."

"Well, we're hoping for another big night." Sam said.

Alex stood in amazement as Sam and Dr. Prince chatted, still not seeming to believe Sam was really there.

"Can I...get you a drink?" Alex stammered eventually.

"I'd love that." Sam smiled. "I'll have a scotch."

Alex turned to the bartender to order. "Well, I'll leave you girls to it. I see one of your vice presidents over there, I should go and say 'hi'" The doctor walked away leaving Sam and Alex to continue looking wide-eyed at each other. 

"Wow, so almost a doctor, I see?" Sam said sounding very impressed.

"And it seems like you are well on your way to becoming the world's youngest Chief Operating Officer? The way you handle yourself, I can tell you've done this smooze thing many times." Alex smiled and handed her the scotch. They clinked glasses and downed a small swig.

"Ha! You remember that, huh?"

"Well, meeting you was a memorable experience." Alex smiled.

"It was." Sam said smiling back. "I've thought about it quite a lot."

They smiled nervously at each other.

"You look really good, Alex." Sam said as she looked her up and down. "That dress looks fantastic on you."

"You too." Alex said, returning the favor. "You look so...grown up." Alex said, biting her lip.

"So, are you here with anyone? Besides your boss, I mean." Sam asked.

"No, I...was hoping to sneak out early. This isn't really my thing, but I couldn't say no to Dr. Prince."

"Yes, she'd be hard to say 'no' to even if she wasn't your boss!"

"Sam! Quit lusting after my boss..." Alex said, shoving her.

"Oh, she's not the one I'm lusting after." Sam smirked at her. "If this isn't your scene, do you want to go out to the balcony? It's much quieter and there's a nice breeze." Sam said.

"I thought you'd never ask." Alex grinned. Sam led the way out of the main hall through a long hallway and out to the balcony. They both leaned against the wide stone rail and looked out over the city.

"So how long will you be in Metropolis?" Sam asked.

"At least 8 more months to finish my residency. After that I'm not sure. I am seriously thinking about working with Doctors Without Borders. It would be chance to work where help is desperately needed. In that case I would probably travel a lot."

"That's amazing, Alex. You're amazing, I mean. That would be quite a sacrifice to give up having a stable life, a home. Not to mention it must be extremely demanding work and probably the pay isn't as good as being a doctor based in the US."

"I'm not sure, I haven't looked at the money part. But I don't mind sacrificing some money to chance to make a difference. And also to do something exciting. I have to admit, I like the idea of being part of the action."

"What about Maggie, what does she have to say about it?"

"Oh, I guess you and I haven't talked since graduation. That's...well, no longer a concern."

"I'm sorry, Alex. Do you mind if I asked what happened? Last time we talked it sounded pretty serious. You sounded really happy."

"I was. We were. We just realized that...we wanted different things." Alex said thoughtfully.

"So, she was having a hard time with the idea of spending her life with a brilliant, funny, sexy doctor with great hands? What part of that was she having trouble with?"

Alex laughed. "No, she was OK with that part. In fact we had started talking about getting married someday. But eventually that brought us to talks about family. Bottom line, she doesn't want to have kids. And I...really, really do."

"Damn. She was that decided on it? Willing to give you up?"

"Yes. So we haven't even talked since graduation. We both just needed some time to heal."

"Wow. I'm really sorry, Alex. I know that must be so painful."

"Yeah. It's been a while and it's getting easier. It just really sucks. I wish we'd talked sooner about those things. For a while I tried to be OK with it, but quickly realized I wasn't. I just couldn't give up being a mother."

Sam turned and leaned into Alex's space, speaking in a low voice so she wouldn't be overheard. "Would it make you feel any better if I told you I'd love to have your baby?" 

"Fuck, Sam!" Alex said and shoved playfully against her abs to push her away. "You can't just say stuff like that!" But Sam noticed she didn't take her hand back, and instead gently started tracing one of her shirt buttons with the tip of her finger.

"Why not?" Sam asked with faux innocence.

"Don't tease me. I'm in a fragile state." Alex moved her mouth into a barely perceptible pout.

"Who says I'm teasing?" Sam looked directly into her eyes.

Alex looked at her for a few moments before looking away. "So what about you? Still a serial monogamist?" Alex changed the subject, like she didn't want to process what Sam had just said.

"Yes. Intense, consuming relationships, lasting 6 to 12 months. A year is my is my record so far." Sam said with a weak smile. "You know me well."

"And what month are you on right now?"

"Right now? Oh, I'm not seeing anyone right now." Sam said.

"Is that true?" Alex looked at her warily.

"Of course. I know I sound like I'm teasing, but I wouldn't joke about something like that. Especially not with you." Sam said, seriously. Then back to her teasing voice, "What would you think about trying to help me break my record?"

Alex was quiet for a while, like she was trying to read whether Sam was serious. "I don't know, Sam. I haven't really dated seriously since Maggie. And...I don't know if I'm up for becoming another link in your chain..." 

"Maybe we could break that chain. Together." Sam said, leaning in close again, a smile playing on her lips. "Give me a chance, Alex. How about just one date? No strings attached."

Alex watched her thoughtfully but didn't say anything. "Can I think about it?" Alex retrieved her hand from Sam's chest.

"Of course." Sam said, turning away from her to look back out at the sky. "Sorry for coming on so strong. I don't know what came over me. Seeing you again...just made me feel something I haven't in a long time."

"Me too." Alex said, looking at Sam's profile while she gazed out at the stars. They both got quiet.

"Oh, fuck it!" Alex said suddenly and grabbed Sam by the jacket lapels to pull her around. Alex's lips were on Sam's in an instant. Sam was surprised, but she only hesitated a moment before kissing back. Alex didn't waste time before escalating the kiss and licking deeply into Sam's mouth. Sam gripped Alex's sides then eased her hands around to her back. As her fingers reached the open back of Alex's dress her body felt electrified at the feeling of touching her bare skin. Then she felt Alex's fingers releasing her jacket to spread them across her abdominals, then dragging her nails over Sam's silky tuxedo shirt.

Alex leaned back a bit for a moment, catching her breath. "God, you are unholy in this tux. How was I supposed to keep my hands off you?" 

Their foreheads came together as they breathed heavily against each others mouths. "And you are absolutely killing me in this dress." Sam said in a husky voice as she caressed Alex's skin through the open back. Sam moved to kiss Alex roughly, pulling her body closer and moving deeper into her mouth. Alex eased her hands around Sam's ribcage, over her shirt, inside her jacket and around to caress her back. As they continued kissing Sam felt Alex untucking her shirt from the back, where her hands were concealed by Sam's jacket. She gasped as she felt Alex's fingers against the bare skin of her back. Alex smiled into her mouth, then eased one hand over Sam's pants. Her hand was still concealed under Sam's jacket as she gripped her ass firmly and pulled their bodies tightly together. Alex massaged her ass then eased her fingers slightly between Sam's legs, fingering her through the material and causing Sam to moan out loud.

"Aahh! God, Alex, you're making me crazy!"

"Sam...I want you. Now. Is there anywhere we can go?"

Sam pulled back and looked around. "It just so happens I was the one to do the final sign off on the Museum ahead of the ball. I may know a place..." Sam said with a seductive grin. 

Just as she took Alex's hand to lead her away her cell phone went off loudly. 

"It's Lena's ring, I better take this." She reached into her jacket to retrieve her phone. "Lena?"

"Sam, your VP was just here looking for you. She can't find her Master of Ceremonies and she wants you to take over to do the thank yous and so on. You better get out here."

"Shit! I'm on my way. Thanks for calling."

"I saw you sneaking off and figured we might not see you for a while. Why don't you bring Alex to me and I'll keep her entertained? I'm near the main bar."

"Great." Sam hung up. "Sorry, Alex, it's a work thing and I have to go right now. Will you come and say 'hi' to Lena?"

"Sure. Just let me..." Alex began re-tucking Sam's shirt. "Sorry about that. Seems like I always end up attacking you when I get you alone." 

Sam laughed, remembering their tryst in the Luthor's guest wing in Midvale. "You won't hear me complaining."

Alex then straightened Sam's tie and collar. "Perfect." Alex said, and Sam beamed at her.

"Where have you been all my life?" Sam said and leaned in for a quick kiss. "OK, I really have to get out there. She grabbed Alex's hand and pulled her towards the main hall. As they walked Sam explained she had to MC for a bit but she hoped it wouldn't take too long.

As they re-entered the room Sam immediately spotted Lena. She chuckled thinking how she always stood out in a crowd, then made a beeline for her.

"Alex!" Lena smiled warmly and reached out to shake Alex's hand when as they reached the bar. Lena was nervous that Alex may not have fond memories of her, but she still found herself excited to see Alex after so many years.

Alex responded with a warm smile and hand shake.

"I have to run. Lena, promise you won't let her escape before I get to see her again." Sam said.

"I'll use my freeze ray, if I have to." Lena grinned and winked at Alex.

As Sam scurried away Lena became serious. "Sorry. Luthors probably shouldn't joke about things like that. Especially not since..." She stopped herself from saying 'your sister is Superman's cousin.'

"It's Ok, Lena, really. I know you had nothing to do with the attack. Believe me, Kara never fails to remind us all whenever she has the opportunity."

"So...how is Kara?"

"Wow, that didn't take long!" Alex said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry. It's hard not to think about her when I'm looking at you. I can pretend to be interested in talking about something else for a while if that makes it less awkward."

Alex laughed. "Ha! No, I appreciate your honesty."

"Well, I saw in news that she is one of the first women training to be a SEAL. But there's not a lot else. I guess the Navy is keeping the details tightly under wraps."

"Yeah, it is top secret. She's still in training and I almost never get to talk to her. But when I do she sounds like she's doing well. I think it's pretty stressful, mainly because she has to avoid giving herself away to the other SEAL cadets. It is physically and mentally challenging, partly because of that and partly because what they are learning to do requires not just strength, but working together as a team with perfect timing. Being the only woman...well, it comes with it's own challenges. A lot of the guys are not thrilled with the idea of a woman on the team.

"I can imagine. How much longer will the training last?"

"She's made it through the 6 months of basic underwater demolition/SEAL school. Only 1% of the candidates make it through. And she's half way through the SEAL qualification training. So about 2-3 months and she can actually become a SEAL and start being deployed on missions."

"Alex. Aren't you worried about her? It seems like...such a hard life." Lena looked worried. "Sorry, I don't mean to over step..."

"No, it's OK. I do worry, quite a lot. But she's really determined to find a way to use her powers for good...without having to maintain a double identity to the world."

"Why is she so worried about that? Seems like it's worked OK for her cousin."

"Honestly...I think this goes back to when you were in high school."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...that whole blow up...with you. When you found out she was Kryptonian. She believes that destroyed your relationship."

"Alex, that...that was never going to work, you know that." Lena said, feeling desperate to at least have Alex understand and see what she did what she did. "My parents...they never would have allowed...they might have tried to hurt Kara, or you...or your parents. That's why we couldn't..."

"Lena, I understand. I really do. Looking back on it now with...what's happened with your....brother. You were obviously right about your family being dangerous. It's just...Kara doesn't see it that way. She feels like her keeping that secret from you was what precipitated your split. I know, it was a long time ago. She can be so stubborn."

"Well, I guess I can't complain about that. I don't have a leg to stand on."

They both chuckled and there was an awkward pause.

"Alex. I just want you to know that... I never wanted to hurt Kara. I would have done anything to avoid that. And I did...I do..love her. What I did was what I thought was best for her and your family. Not what was best for me."

"I believe you, Lena. I honestly do. No hard feelings on my side."

"I'm so glad." Lena said then smiled. "Especially because I get the feeling I'm going to be seeing a lot more of you..."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I just mean the way you and Sam came back, holding hands and grinning like cats that ate the canary! And I spoke with Diana. She said you're in Metropolis for at least another 8 months."

"You know my boss?"

"Sure. She's somewhat famous in this crowd. She's done some amazing things with Doctors Without Borders. Not to mention she's gorgeous and charming, which always goes over well with this bunch."

"Well, you're right. I think we are going to...go out, I guess."

"Or staying in seems more likely, given the way both of you re-appeared in a somewhat rumpled state..." Lena said with a smirk.

"What? Lena!"

"Don't worry. I don't think anyone else will notice. I have an eye for detail. And for looking out for my best friend." Lena said, eyeing her closely. "Alex, I just want you to know...you're very special to Sam. I've never heard her talk about anyone the way she talks about you. So, please, just be careful. With her heart."

"Lena, really? She is the notorious serial monogamist! I think I'm the one that needs to be careful."

Just then they heard the loud speaker come on and the Cyberdyne Systems VP came on to introduce Sam. After that Lena could see Alex would be too distracted to talk more.

"Well, I guess you should both be careful. But...not too careful. That wouldn't be any fun." Lena said with a grin. "I'm going to go now, so you can watch Sam charm the pants off the crowd without any distractions."

"I guess it's a good thing I wore a dress...But I don't think it will do me any good." Alex grinned sheepishly. "Don't worry, Lena. I hear you loud and clear. Sam is very special to me too. I'm not taking this lightly."

"I'm glad to hear that, Alex. Now, I'm going to go find my plus one. I trust you not to try to make an escape."

"Trust is the beginning of any friendship. And I do want us to be friends, Lena."

"I'd love that, Alex." Lena picked up her drink and started to head into the crowd. "Enjoy your evening." Before she was out of earshot she overheard Alex talking to herself.

"Oh, you better believe I will." As she gazed at Sam holding court on the stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, no one panic at the appearance of Dr. Spheer! I made this chapter longer than usual so that our girls will see each other during the next chapter. I promise!   
> *Bonus points if anyone recognizes Cyberdyne Systems.


	41. We Could Be Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV, SEAL school and beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Note: this chapter contains non-Supercorp, gratuitous smut.***  
> If you'd like to skip it, move ahead at the "XXX" to next "XXX".

Kara's last few months after her break up with Sara were a whirlwind. She threw herself into school work and training. Even so, she couldn't be sure she would be given a chance to become a SEAL. She and Lucy had many discussions about the hurdle of the getting through the physical, not to mention other exams and records that would be created that could potentially lead to her exposure. She knew there would be bloodwork and if they hadn't figured out she was an alien by that point, the inpenetrable skin was a give away. 

Kara had agreed to let Lucy talk to her father to see what options there may be. That was how she found out that she wasn't the only alien who had tried to go into the military. Each of the branches had means of getting aliens who really wanted to serve through the hurdles. It was in their interest to have the skills and strength of the aliens. Since they were not recognized as human by the US laws they couldn't officially serve in the US military. The Extranormal Defense Operations program was secretly coordinated by the DEO working with the different military branches to help integrate and protect aliens who wanted to serve. The DEO managed all the records within their compounds so that no one could discover and expose the aliens. They could only allow aliens who could easily pass as humans into the program. If they made it through basic training, they had to sign a 'non-disclosure' agreement. Kara didn't have a problem with that part, she had been operating under a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy since she arrived on earth. She hated the policy, but was determined that this was the way she could contribute without donning a cape.

Even though Kara had all the qualities they wanted and then some, there was still reluctance to accept her. The issue was that she would become the first woman to survive the SEAL training school, assuming she was able to. And that would mean extra attention. The Navy higher-ups were worried that her non-human status would be discovered and blow up all their public relations and tactical dreams - having a woman succeed as a SEAL and having a super-powerful, human-like alien on critical missions. It seemed to be quite a conundrum for the Navy brass, and Kara wasn't getting a clear answer about her future opportunity with the military.

Near the end of her last semester Kara came back to her room to find Lucy grinning like the cat that ate the canary. 

"Lucy, what's up? Is James coming this weekend?"

"No, I wish. But there's a package for you over there." Lucy said and gestured towards a brown paper package with an attempt at a clueless expression.

Kara ripped through the packing tape and box like tissue paper. She reached in and pulled out a gleaming silver metal contraption.

"This looks like...the buzz clippers you use to make sure your hair meets regulations." Kara said, looking confused.

"Exactly. You're going to be needing these..." Lucy said with a wide grin.

Kara walked directly to her and took her in a tight embrace (but not too tight) and lifted her up.

"So, I'm in?"

"Well, that's up to you. You're allowed to try. Congrats, Ms. First Female SEAL Candidate!"

Kara set Lucy down carefully and then collapsed into a nearby chair.

"So, this is really happening?"

"Yes. And we need to celebrate. I was thinking we could start with a new, SEAL-friendly hair do."

"You mean...now?"

"Yes. Now."

"So the Navy requires short hair?"

"Well, not for women. It just needs to be short enough to be off your collar or long enough to pull it back into a pony tail. But during training the conditions are going to be really tough, physically and mentally. You're going to be covered in mud, drenched in salt water again and again. And they'll be days, maybe weeks without having a decent shower. Your hair is the last thing you want to have to worry about."

"And it will make me stand out even more from the men."

"Well, yeah, it's true." Lucy looked at her with sympathy. "That part is not going to be easy. But you'll show them. You'll be better than all of them, and they won't be able to say a thing. They'll come around. After all, who among us mere mortals can resist you?"

Kara looked Lucy in the eye. "OK. Let's do this." She sat down at the table and took the hair band out of her hair.

"You trust me with these fabulous locks?"

"I trust you with my life, Lucy."

"Sure, but this is...your hair."

"I trust you, completely." Kara said.

"Awesome. I'm going to make you look like Captain Marvel!" Lucy said as she began to shave away long locks of her thick blonde hair.

After she was done they both looked rushed to the mirror, Kara standing in front and Lucy to the side.

"You did it." Kara said, a bit in shock. 

"You look fucking hot." Lucy said, running her fingers through Kara's short locks.

"Yeah." Kara said, sounding surprised, trying to get used to the visual of herself without her long hair. "Thanks, Lucy. For everything. This wouldn't be even in the realm of possibility without you."

"You're welcome." Lucy squeezed Kara around the shoulders and kissed the side of closely-shorn head. "Knock 'em dead, Supergirl!"

***

Kara made it through the exams and interrogations at the DEO's military prep program. There were also very long classes about what she could and could not do. Once she passed through the DEO's pre-military program she figured she would had the worst behind her. She knew she could handle any physical challenge they threw at her. 

She began training at the Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado, along the coast just 3-4 hours from Midvale. in the fall after graduation. What she wasn't prepared for was the anger directed at her from other SEAL candidates. It was an extremely difficult program, with only 6% of candidates making it through. They were all performing extreme physical training and feats with very little sleep and difficult conditions, spending hours in the cold ocean waters, paddling boats, diving, running, doing push-ups, jumping jacks, and pretty much anything their trainers demanded. While the others suffered from the physical stress, Kara's stress was emotional. She had to endure a lot of awful comments and discouragement. Even the men who weren't hostile were not friendly, probably not wanting to be seen as soft on the girl. She didn't engage, she kept her head down and kept working hard. Though she was proficient at the diving, she found no escape in it as she always had before. Being in the rough ocean water, working with people who really didn't want her there - it took the joy out of it. Eventually the other "tadpoles", as the trainees were called, realized she deserved to be there as much as anyone and it got better.

She survived hell week, and after that it was months of intensive training to make her physically and mentally tough - "by sea, by air, by land." She learned skills and strategies, learned to work in pairs, small teams, large groups. She learned how to handle explosive, defuse bombs, fire guns, command boats, and perform rescues on land and sea. Lucy was right that the men came around to the idea of her being in there. It was impossible to argue that she didn't deserve to be there. She had been a great help to many of them when they were at low points, ready to give up. For some it was because they would look at her and become determined not to get 'beat' by a woman. But for others that she had become friends with, it was by encouraging them and helping out when they felt they couldn't take another step. After over a year of training she passed all the requirements. It was exhilarating to look around at the others she'd been training with and think about all they'd done, and all they were now able to do. By the end they were an extremely tight-knit group, ready to lay down their lives for each other.

Since Coronado was only a few hours drive from Midvale, several of Kara's friends from home, along with her Eliza and Jeremiah, came out for her graduation ceremony. Cisco, Wynn, even Cat Grant made an appearance. Susan flew in from Venskus College in the Midwest where she was a top cadet in her final year of their Marine ROTC program. They had always stayed in touch and she didn't want to miss the show. Alex couldn't be there due to the rotation she was on at the hospital, but she promised to come see Kara before she deployed for her first mission. 

For the graduation ceremony the SEALs didn't walk across a stage to get a diploma. Instead, families were seated in bleachers on the beach near the school and the new SEALs were dropped into the nearby ocean from helicopters. The helicopters then circled back and retrieved each one by dangling a rope ladder, which they had to grab in the choppy waves and pull themselves up back into the helicopter. 

Having survived SEAL school it was now rather routine for them. Still, there was always a chance something could go wrong and, as fate would have it, things did go wrong. After retrieving half the new SEALs, one of the helicopter engines lost power and dipped suddenly. Being so close to the water, one set of blades went under and was spinning so hard it was quickly pulling the craft under. The ramp at the back was open and water was rapidly filling the cabin. They were all quickly becoming trapped and while others were busy trying to find an escape, Kara was able to put her back against the hull and lift, keeping part of her body underwater but essentially lifting vertically as if she were taking off to fly. Gradually the blades cleared the surf and the pilots recovered control. Everyone assumed the pilots had just made a heroic save. Kara looked around at her mates and beamed. This was exactly what she signed up for. Her dream was coming true already.

Since they were SEALs and determined not to let anything get in there way, the ceremony did go on. Kara and the rest disappeared to change then re-appeared in the Navy dress blue uniforms on the beach to receive their diplomas. 

After the ceremony everyone squeezed her tightly and told her how proud they were. Lucy was first in line to grab her and try to pick her up - a feat she always tried but never quite managed. As usual they just staggered around until Lucy eventually gave up and they burst out laughing.

"So proud of you, Danvers. I'll be seeing you out there. Not long now."

"Can't wait, Lucy! I'm going to try so hard to be back here for your graduation."

"Don't worry about that. Just...promise to stay in touch. And...keep your head down." Lucy said, seriously.

"I can promise the first, but not the second." Kara said with a grin.

Next was Eliza, who had an expression as if to say 'maybe it's not the worst idea in the world', even though she had always said that it was and adamantly argued against the plan. Jeremiah just smiled softly, a look of pride in his eyes. Kara wondered if maybe they were coming around to the idea, maybe they thought it just might work as a solution to Kara's drive to be a superhero. 

Cat Grant congratulated her and hugged her. She couldn't help but complain about the loss to the field of science, but Kara could see she even was impressed. They had a big celebratory dinner together afterwards and people started scattering, needing to get back to their jobs and school, except for Susan who was staying over for a night to catch up with Kara and visit Midvale, which she hadn't been to since her family moved during her junior year.

That night Kara and Susan walked on the beach near the house, catching up on all that had been going on. Susan was excited that she would be graduating the next semester and also be able to start her time in the Marines. She couldn't wait to find out where she would go. Having been raised in a military family she was used to moving around and it didn't worry her. After catching up for a while Susan changed the subject to the graduation ceremony.

"So, Kara, was that you today? Were you the one who saved the helicopter?"

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Kara, I had Airborne training. I know a lot about helicopters. As fast as that one was going down, with the weight from that many people, I just don't know how they would have recovered, without..."

"Why do you think it was me?"

"Come on, Kara. I know." Susan stopped and looked at her. I know that you're...not human."

"You...what?"

"Of course I know. All that time we spent together...well, we did a lot of physical things together that and, well, there were just some clues."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't...want to make you uncomfortable. We weren't...in a romantic relationship. You really didn't need to tell me unless you wanted to."

"Thanks, Su. Back then I was so closed up. I'm much more open now. Not so much about telling people about being an alien, but about how I'm different...biologically."

"Yes, I remember." Susan said with a half smile. "I quite enjoyed those differences during high school."

  


**XXX**

"We had a lot of fun, didn't we?" Kara could feel her cock twitch at those memories from high school when they were always finding places to hide and new ways explore each others bodies. Standing hidden under the bleachers, pushing her fingers deep into Susan as she writhed against the wall. Susan hiding under a desk in an abandoned classroom, sucking her off while Kara sat in the chair. If anyone had glanced in the window in the door it would have looked like Kara was deep in thought, when she was really deep into Susan's throat.

"We sure did. By the way, you looked amazing in those BDUs, soaking wet, walking out of the ocean like that. And then again in your dress uniform. I have to say, you are really hot in that uniform and sailor hat. And that short hair." Susan said, running her fingers through it. "Talk about a wet dream..."

"Su..." Sara could feel herself growing harder, the memories from high school, the exhilaration of remembering the rescue, the way Susan was looking at her were getting her worked up.

"Wanna relive some fond memories?" Susan asked. She eased her hand to Kara's chest and down to her the waist band of her pants, teasing her fingers against Kara's stomach and sliding them slowly under the band. "We only have one night. Why not make the most of it?"

Kara still hesitated. Susan continued sliding her fingers down Kara's pants until she reached her cock.

"Fuck, you're already so hard." Susan gasped. "Come on. You did so well today. You were so amazing out there. I really want to...suck you off. Don't you think you deserve it?" 

"Ahhh." Kara groaned at the thought of it. She tried, but her brain was shutting down and she couldn't think of any reason why not. She and Susan had always had an understanding and had stayed friends. She took Susan's hand and led her down the beach to a spot with some shrubs that she knew wasn't visible from the house. Once there Susan gave her a shove to push her down only the beach and crawled on top. She moved her hand back to Kara's pants, sliding her fingers over what was now a full-on erection. Kara moaned at the feeling as Susan slowly unzipped her.

Kara watched as Susan eased her cock out through her briefs. It was a chilly night, too cold for them to get naked, at least for Susan. Kara was just happy that she wasn't wasting any time.

"Hhm...I haven't done this in a while." Susan grinned. "It's probably just like riding a bike."

Kara started giggling until she felt Susan's mouth envelope her cock. "Oh fuck, yes!" Her hand automatically shot out to Susan's head to encourage her. Susan sealed her mouth tightly and began to slowly work her way down Kara's cock as Kara worked hard to keep her hips from bucking into her mouth. When her cock hit the back of Susan's throat she pulled up and started bobbing slowly, easing out to the tip and plunging back down and sucking hard.

"God, don't stop, that's...just like that..." Kara said, gently pushing her head as they reached a familiar rhythym. Kara knew she wouldn't last long.

"Su, watch out, I'm coming!" Susan slipped Kara's cock out of her mouth, licking the tip and then pumping Kara fast with her hand. Kara quickly stretched her shirt down to catch her cum just as she started her long release. She fell back against the sand in relief.

"God, I needed that! I didn't realize how much." She said. "Thanks, Su."

"I guess it is like riding a bike then." They both laughed.

Kara cringed at her messy shirt and pulled it off over her head. "OK, definitely doing my own laundry tomorrow!"

"Jesus Christ, Kara! You're...do you have...an eight pack? I didn't know that was even a thing..."

"It's all the training, and also they don't feed me enough!"

"Well, you look phenomenal." Susan said rubbing her fingers across Kara's abs like she wasn't sure they were real.

"Enough about me." Kara said, a bit embarrassed. "Let's see about you." She sat up quickly and clumsily tackled Susan back onto the sand so that she was on her back. She had Susan out of her pants and underwear, with had her tongue tightly against her clit in moments.

"Mmm, yes, fuck." Susan moved her hand behind her head, pushing Kara tighter against her cunt. Kara began to work her over with her tongue relentlessly until Susan began begging her to move inside her. She slid her fingers in slightly, then thrust deeply as Susan called for more. Susan began to buck hard and fast against her hand as Kara scissored her fingers against Susan's g-spot. Before long Susan climaxed hard and dropped back on the sand. 

"Wow, I think that must be a speed record! You've...gotten really good at that. Not that you weren't before, it's just - damn!"

"I've had some practice since high school." Kara grinned.

"No kidding." Kara lay down on her back next to Susan. They looked up at the stars and talked for a while before deciding they only had one night and they might as well make the most of it. A few hours later they crept into the Danvers home, very sandy and exhausted but more relaxed than either had felt in a long time, their bodies reveling from the repeated release.

**XXX**

  


The next day Kara drove Susan to the airport and walked with her as far as she could. They squeezed each other tight.

"You keep safe out there, soldier." Susan said.

"You know I'll be fine." Kara said. "It's the other guys I'll need to worry about."

"You better be." Susan caressing her cheek then walked towards security.

"Good luck, Lieutenant!" Kara called after her.

"Oohrah!" Susan said, raising a fist as she kept walking.

"Hey, it's not 'Oohrah' it's 'Hooyah'!"

"Whatever you say, froggie." Susan chuckled.

***

Kara didn't have much time at home before she had to ship out, literally. As promised, Alex flew back to see her before she left. The sisters had a lot of catching up to do since Kara had been mostly incommunicado while in training and Alex had been in the throes of her residency. For the past month she'd been on emergency room rotation, which meant very little sleep.

In the evening they left to walk on the beach but Kara could quickly see she was exhausted and suggested they just sit.

"So...what's the deal with Sam? Are you still seeing her?"

"Ummm...yeah."

"Why so reticent? You can tell your only sis."

"I think I'm worried about...jinxing myself. It's just...things are going really well. Maybe I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Or maybe this is the thing you've been waiting for. I know you've always carried a flame for Sam. After all these years...maybe the timing is right."

"It's only been 6 months. Let's not book the caterer yet."

Kara laughed. "Well, have you talked at all about what will happen at the end of your residency?"

"Yes. She knows I'm joining Doctors Without Borders and it will require a lot of travel. And she says she really wants to try to make it work, long distance if it needs to be that way."

"At least you'll be able to talk and skype regularly. And isn't she a big shot now? She can probably just hop on her private jet to visit."

"Ha! I don't know about all that, but I know I want to try to make it work. I just...I'm falling in love with her, Kara."

"Wow. Have you told her?"

"No. But I will. I'm just trying to take it slower this time."

"Have you told her you want to have a family? Sorry, but if you're getting that serious about her, maybe you should mention it."

Alex started chuckling.

"What?"

"I did tell her. I told her when I first saw her in Metropolis, at the Doctors Without Borders charity ball."

"And?"

"She told me she'd love to have my baby..."

"Damn! Well, she's got game, I'll give her that. I'm so excited for you, Alex. You seem very happy."

"I am. We have a lot of changes ahead, but if it's the right thing we'll make it work."

"So...have you seen her bestie?"

"I was wondering how long that would take." Alex laughed.

"Just asking..."

"Yes. I've seen her a few times since Sam and I started...going out."

"Ha! I guess that means you aren't actually going out that much. More staying in..."

"No, we're going out plenty. Sam loves to spoil me at fancy restaurants. I was laughing because we did sort of skip our first date to stay in the limo.."

"No details, Alex! Remember the rule." Kara said, covering her ears.

"Of course I do - it was my rule!"

"Well?"

"I think Lena's doing really well. Her plans for the company are really happening. She's steadily shifted the direction and objectives of the company. She says it's slow going, but stock prices are recovering and the Board is happy. And Lena believes her biomedical lab is on the verge a a major breakthrough."

"What about...is she seeing anyone?"

"Sam suspects she's seeing one of the scientists who works for L-Corp. I'm not sure. If so then it's very low key."

"Does she seem...happy?"

"I think so. It's kind of hard to tell. We're getting to be friends, but she doesn't really talk to me about things like that. She's been hugely successful at turning the company around, which is her dream. But she seems...I don't know, a bit melancholy? Lonely, maybe.

"I'm glad her dreams about the company are coming true. She deserves it." Kara said, then changed the subject. She didn't want to think more about her dating the scientist. She chided herself that after all these years she still felt jealousy about Lena, even though she truly wanted the best for her.

"I've missed you a lot, sis. And now I'm going to see you, and everybody else even less than before. They said there will be times we won't even be able to text."

"Please, promise you'll update me whenever you can?" Alex asked, her eyes tearing up a bit.

"Of course. And don't worry about me. Impenetrable skin, remember?"

"Right. For some reason that doesn't make me feel better."

"I can take care of myself." Kara said firmly.

"I know that. I just wish...you weren't so far away for such long periods."

"Me too. I'll call when I can and I promise to be careful."

They got quiet, laying on their backs looking up at the stars. A few minutes later Kara could tell by Alex breathing that she had fallen asleep. Kara sat up and gathered Alex in her arms and carried her back to the house. Alex roused a bit but relaxed against her chest too tired to argue. Kara eased her into bed and covered her up.

"I love you, big sis." She whispered as she shut off the light.

***  
After Kara's graduation the Navy made a press release, but they didn't trot her out for the media the way they might have if she had been a human. The message not to encourage media on widely promoting the first woman SEAL had been conveyed to all the key communications offices, so there wasn't much detail in the news. The Navy just went about looking for critical places to deploy her.

She was nervous about her first deployment, about how this new team would feel about being deployed with a woman. For a while it was awkward, but she always proved herself, going above and beyond expectations. Fears that she couldn't hold her own, or that she would be a weak link for the team were clearly wrong. On her third mission the team was going in to retrieve a high-ranking American officer that had been captured by Kasnian secret agents. It was a simple extraction mission, but things went sideways and one of her team was shot. Kara carried him for miles to get him back to their special ops craft while holding his wound and keeping him from bleeding out. After that she was just like one of the guys. 

And as fate would have it, there was another alien in her company. It was several months into her deployment before she figured it out. They were all out on patrol and came under fire. She watched in horror as one of her fellow soldiers got hit. She was turned away from him and didn't see the shot fired. When she saw him go down it was too late to act. She cursed herself for not catching the bullet as she ran to his side.

"Mike! Mike!" Kara picked him up and held him in her lap. She looked him over and found the bullet sitting on the center of his chest. She also saw that it hadn't created a wound on his body. She quickly did a scan to see if she had missed anything, but found nothing. She quickly calculated that his body had clearly stopped the bullet, but it had not penetrated.

"Shhh...it's OK, Kara. I'm fine. Just, be quiet." Kara just looked at him wide-eyed as she realized there was another alien in her unit.

"You...you're...you must be..." Kara stammered.

"Yes. I'm an alien. Please, don't say anything. I have to pass as human or I'll have to leave."

"I know, I...well, we can talk more later, we need to get moving."

"So you're not going to carry me now?" Mike gave her a sad face.

At that Kara could see he was perfectly fine and shoved him off her lap. "On your feet soldier!"

"Yes, ma'am." He said as he hopped up. "Whatever you say."

Kara couldn't help but notice a puppy-dog look in his eyes.

***  
Kara and Mike became fast friends. It was a while before they were able to talk in private because they were eating, sleeping, and working as a unit most of the time. When they had a chance to talk she told Mike she was also an alien. He told her had already suspected that due to her strength at times when the rest of the unit was on their knees. He was doing OK, but he couldn't imagine any other human was. Yet Kara had taken a leadership role and was getting them all out of an impossible situation alive. Mike had no idea what to do, even though he was physically stronger, he didn't have her tactical skills. And as he watched her pull it together and move them forward, the seed was planted in his mind.

After over 5 months of working together within the unit, Kara and Mike were on watch together. It had been a tough week without much sleep. They were trying to stay awake entertaining each other with stories when Mike started asking about her personal life.

"So...do you have anyone waiting back home?"

"No. I, well, life has been so crazy since graduating and starting the SEAL program. I don't have much time for an actual social life."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"What was courtship like on your planet? Were bonds arranged or was it more like here?"

"Well, I guess it was more like here because bonds weren't arranged. But different in that relationships were much more open."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, a bit like, anything goes. We weren't so hung up about sexuality the way it is here. We didn't really have a term for being gay. It was just people would be with who they wanted, and gender was not a big part of that. Also, we weren't that big into couples. It was more like 'the more the merrier'." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Wow. I heard about Daxam growing up. On Krypton a lot of people seemed to think Daxamites were frivolous and lazy. I didn't hear that much about relationships, but you were notorious for partying."

"Well, there's a reason why there are stereotypes and in this case it's kind of true. But that wasn't all we were about." He laughed.

"Sorry. Do you know much about Krypton?"

"Well, I did already know you stuck-up Kryptonites think you're better than us! No big secret there." Mike teased. Then he hesitated and looked at her carefully. "And I know...that more than half of Kryptonians are...bi-gendered, I guess you call it? Having both 'male' and 'female' reproductive organs."

"Yes." Kara was looking at her shoes. "I'm one of them."

"I thought you might be." Mike said reassuringly. "I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous. I always thought that would be amazing to...have different options. I think you're really lucky, Kara. But I realize it must be a difficult thing to deal with here."

"It used to be. I used to be so worried about people finding out, or trying to tell people I was dating. But my last girlfriend really helped me get over that. She encouraged me to be more open and I found most people were totally cool about it and appreciated my honesty. I've had so much to deal with in training though, you're the first person in my unit that I've talked to about it. That's one of the toughest things so far about joining the SEALs. I feel very isolated, first because of the hostility towards me and now, worried about blowing my cover as an alien. It's actually illegal for us to be serving in this way. But at least I'm not maintaining a completely seperate identity"

"Thanks for telling me." Mike said, reaching out and taking her hand and squeezing it. "You know, there's no reason for you to feel so alone. I want to be your friend. I promise you can trust me if you want to talk about anything. Anyway, I'm vulnerable to being discovered too, so we're even."

"Thanks. I do want to be friends. It's so good to have someone to talk to."

They found things were so much easier when they were paired up, there was just a lot less they needed to think about, and it was a chance to take a break from pretending. Their commanders could see they worked well together, and would often put them together when there were needs for pairs, which happened quite a lot. On those long nights of waiting and watching they got to know and trust each other very well. They both lost their planets, their family, everything so suddenly, and that had a huge impact on their lives. It was another area where almost no one else could understand how they were feeling, just like how it was to be an alien SEAL. They talked about those concerns and so many others. Still, Kara was taken aback one night when they were out on patrol when Mike suddenly grabbed her hand, pulled her close and kissed her briefly, but hard on the mouth. Kara pushed him off in surprise.

"I'm sorry!" Mike shouted as he stumbled away.

"It's OK, I was just...surprised."

"Haven't you ever thought about it? About us?"

"I...yes." She said, a bit embarrassed. "But it seems so...complicated."

"You mean more than being a secret alien SEAL?"

"Yes. But I see your point."

"Maybe we could just try? And if it's weird and too complicated, well, no hard feelings."

"I...let me think about it. We would have to go super slow."

"Definitely."

"And be super careful not to get caught." Kara said.

"Of course."

"And not let it interfere with our work."

"Never!"

"And..." Kara's voice dropped off.

"Go ahead and name any condition. I'll agree to it. Just give it a chance."

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'd hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but I'll take it." He squeezed her hand but didn't try to get closer. He looked at his watch. "We're due back at camp."

"I'll race you!" Kara said, disappearing into the trees.

***  
Kara's first year as a SEAL went by fast after she made it through the first few months. She missed her family and friends terribly, but she was really invested in her missions and building the team. After the first year she was required to debrief with an officer the DEO's military program. When she arrived an agent sat her in a conference room to wait for the director of the program. After a minute a tall, dark figure walked purposely through the door.

Kara's mouth dropped open. "Principal...J'onzz?"

The tall man laughed her, "Yes. Well...not any more. Kara, you may not have realized that I transferred just a couple months after you started your freshman year at Midvale High. The truth is...I was only there because of you. The DEO wanted to keep an eye on you. To make sure you weren't some kind of...Trojan horse. A secret weapon, hidden in an American high school." He let out a laugh. "I know, it sounds crazy. And having observed you for several weeks I know it was. But if you think about it, it makes sense that we needed to keep an eye on you, at first."

Kara thought about it and it all made sense. Clark was working with the DEO at the time and so, of course, they were totally informed about her arrival and involved in her placement with the Danvers. He explained that Jeremiah had worked with the DEO on cases in the past and that it made sense to them to place her with someone that was already linked to the DEO. Even though he had ended his work with them, he was still considered an asset.

"Wow. All that time...I was being watched. It's pretty unnerving. I can't believe all that was going on without my knowledge.

"It was, but your parents were aware."

"That...doesn't make me feel better. Actually that's worse."

"Sorry, Kara. Given our experience with Clark, we knew how powerful you might become. We just...wanted to be prepared. We had an idea that something serious was happening with Krypton. We thought you might be some sort of a...plant. Like I said, a Trojan horse to bring super-powered Kryptonians to earth. Having left as a baby, Clark couldn't really tell us anything."

Kara sat stunned, unable to respond.

"Imagine my relief to find your greatest interest was in horses! When Lena arrived on the scene and you went off the rails for her...well, it was clear you weren't a secret plant from Krypton."

"I can't believe...ugh...how much do you know about me and Lena?"

"No details! Only what was detectable to Jeremiah and Eliza. Enough to tell us we had nothing to worry about. That your worries were the the same as a typical American high schooler. And with that evidence I was able to come back here."

"I feel like such an idiot." Kara said, angrily.

"Kara, I just want to say...you are a dream come true for us. On your on initiative you've decided you want to help. Just like Clark. But in a different way than Clark. You are a huge asset to the U.S. Just in the last year...I can't count the number of lives you've saved, the number of 'bad guys' you've stopped, the way you've built up your team. It's all in secret and unofficial, but I just want you to know that, it's not going unnoticed."

Kara sat quietly, trying to take it all in. "I just...I'm a bit overwhelmed."

"I just want you to know, I'm here for you. If you're having any troubles or concerns and you don't think you can handle it...please, just let me know. I will handle it. The DEO and the Navy wants to do whatever we can to keep you happy and in the field." J'onn smiled at her at her. "You're the best we've got."

"Thanks, Principal...I mean, Director J'onzz." Kara gathered her courage and decided now was the time to voice her concerns. "There is something..."

"What is it?"

"There have been a few missions where...well, it could have easily escalated and someone could have been killed. I don't mean accidentally, I mean in order to accomplish the mission. I was able to avoid that using my breath and heat vision. In the heat of battle I got away with it. But, if it came to killing, I just...I just can't do it. I won't. And I don't know what that will mean."

"I understand, Kara. We've been very careful in what we assign your team to find missions where your skills are especially valuable. We can also take into account the risk of enemy fatality."

"Thanks, Director."

"Tell you what. Why don't you just call me J'onn?"

"I'll try. Is that all, sir?"

"That's all. If all goes well I won't see you till next year."

The following year did go well. Kara fell easily into a relationship with Mike. It was a relief to her not to have to hide, not to have to worry about hurting someone, just to be herself and do her job. She was rarely able to make it back to Midvale. Sometimes she would get to visit Alex at one of her medical rescue sites when they were in the same region. But she spent so much time on missions away from family and friends. Being with Mike helped her feel less alone. 

When she reported out to J'onn after her second year she told him about Mike. He informed her that he already knew and that normally he would discourage it, but since they'd managed to keep it from their team so far that maybe they could make it work. Their debrief went quickly. The missions selection seemed to work well for Kara's team. They did a lot of hostage extractions, underwater bomb defusions, and protecting important figures and military assets that were at risk.

It wasn't until Kara's third year as a SEAL that there was so-called 'collateral damage' They were extracting hostages that were being kept in a home. The intelligence update stated that there was no one living there. It was being used to imprison two US missionaries working near the border of Bialya. They unknowingly had crossed the border into Polokistan, a country known for their hostility and aggression towards the U.S.. The missionaries had gotten picked up by some religious extremists operating in the area and their government was not inclined to help in anyway. The SEALs were assigned to go in and get them out. 

The operation went perfectly at first. Four team members had disarmed the hostage takers while two others were searching the house for the hostages and to look for weapons. From no where some local children came into the house through a window and the surprise momentarily distracted the team. In that moment one of the captors reached for a hidden weapon and began firing at the SEALs. He also managed to hit two of the children before the SEALs disarmed them again. Kara was in another room and by the time she heard the shots it was too late for her to help. They called in the SEAL medic, but one of the children was seriously injured and might not recover, along along with two of her team who were severely wounded and had to be evacuated to the nearest military base.

At first Kara was in shock and just went about her job, but after a while she started having nightmares about children being hurt. The possibility of people being killed on missions was something Kara only realized once she had started training to be a SEAL. She realized that it should have been obvious to her. Sometimes these glitches would happen, due to her different upbringing and experience, some how she just missed things that most human Americans just knew, without even really learning. Still, she reasoned, surely that would only happen if it was justified, if the action was saving innocent lives. It wasn't until late in her training that they started teaching her about collateral damage and that sometimes people who weren't involved in the action were accidentally hurt, even killed. In that case, Kara reasoned, if she was there she could help prevent those kind of accidents. 

Now that she had an experience where innocent children were almost killed due to her mission, she couldn't put the thought out of her mind. She had one more mission before her debrief on her third year and she found herself nearing a panic attack. Mike talked her through it and she was able to complete the mission, but when she did her debrief with J'onn that year she told him she didn't see how she could continue. She had given it a lot of thought and presented him with a plan.

"These missions that Alex works on - they always have a team of security, a combination of military and private soldiers that protect their operations when they're in dangerous places. Maybe I could lead a team like that. That way I wouldn't be 'going in' anywhere. I would be there only to protect people."

"Kara, I don't know, even if something like that was possible, there's never a guarantee that no one will get hurt."

"I'm not looking for a guarantee, of course. But my job would only be about protecting people.You should see some of the field hospitals Alex has worked in. The people that come there, they're desperate for help. And they're often in dangerous places where there are no other medical facilities. And sometimes their own people don't want them to get help because they don't trust the U.S. They face danger from every direction. I think I could make a real difference in these places."

"It's not that simple, Kara, to just move you into a completely different field."

"I just don't know if I can keep doing it J'onn. I've lost my nerve. The thought of innocents being hurt because of a mission I'm involved in...I think I need to...resign."

"Kara, don't do anything right now. You have some leave now, just take it easy and try not to worry about this. I'll see what I can do."

In the end J'onn and some of the top brass were able to pull enough strings to allow Kara to deploy as military security for high risk operations. They didn't want to risk losing Kara as an asset and also because of her visibility as the first woman SEAL. Often she did get to protect medical missions, but sometimes it was about protecting critical, high value political targets that were in danger. Kara reasoned that the only killing that would happen in these cases would be from people attacking her, not innocents. J'onn was careful to emphasize that there was never a guarantee in any type of operation, let alone life.

During her first year providing security she got a detail protecting one of Alex's medical rescue missions. It was a dream come through for the sisters and they found that they were still worked together like clock work. Kara loved her work, she got to help save disadvantaged children and some of the weakest and most desperate people who really needed her help.

Kara was so successful that after her first year she was allowed to help select some of the civilian members of the team when positions opened up. The first spot she got to fill was for a weapons and technology tactician. Kara was thrilled to be able to bring Winn in to fill that role. Then during her winter break that year she sought out Cisco, who was still there working as an electrician. He was very successful and comfortable, but Kara knew he had always dreamed of more. She convinced him to try to join the team. Even though they were remaining civilians, both men had to go through basic training. Winn was petrified, but also determined to join Kara's team so he trained as much as possible before basic. Cisco wasn't worried and had a rough time of it, but they in the end they both got through it and joined her team. The final addition to her team the following year was Susan, who was detailed from the Marines when a spot opened up. Kara would have loved to add Lucy, but her ambition was to rise up in the ranks as quickly as possible. Joining a military/civilian security detail was not a strategic choice for her career.

Kara was thrilled to be able to use her powers for good while working closely with some of her best friends in the world. Having friends around her and the occasional job with Alex meant everything to her. Mike had stayed with the SEAL team, but they were maintaining a long distance relationship. 

The year Susan joined, the team was assigned one of their biggest missions, protecting an emergency medical mission in Nairomi. There was a massive outbreak of disease and it was spreading rapidly in the area. There was also great danger of it spreading to other countries over land, sea, or air. It was important not only to treat the victims but also contain the virus. Alex was assigned as the head doctor on the medical side. The support teams for the operations had set up several huge field hospital tents. a research lab, and housing for the ever-growing number of personnel arriving to fight the outbreak. 

To make things more complicated they were in an extremely dangerous region that was ruled by war lords more than a government, and they were very hostile to western countries, especially the U.S. Kara split her team split into 3 groups that worked in shifts - one guarding the camp, one patrolling the forests to look for threats, and one resting. They worked constantly in 8 hour shifts.

One day when Kara was out on patrol she got an urgent call from Alex.

"Kara, you need to get back to camp. There's another team arriving and...well, I can't say more since this isn't a secure line. Just get back as soon as you can."

"I'm on my way." Kara let the rest of the patrol team know she was headed back.

Once back at camp Alex started debriefing her on the situation. Very early that morning they'd found evidence that the virus was starting to mutate.

"Kara, the government has asked the top biomedical research lab in the country to send a team to help us."

"The top...wait...you mean from L-Corp's research institute?"

"Yes, but not only that..." Suddenly Alex was drowned out by the noise of a helicopter coming in for a landing on the field next to them. The women ducked their heads against the winds of the propellers - it was useless to try to talk over them. Both women turned to watch the landing and the hatch opening. As the blades started to slow Alex tried yelling to Kara.

"I'm sorry, Kara, I wanted to warn you..."

The helicopter door opened and Kara watched as shiny black heels appeared from the hull. All her breath was knocked out of her chest as Lena came into view, looking extremely out of place in her dark pencil skirt and blazer. Kara saw Lena glance up at her and watched as her face distorted in confusion. Her mouth slowly dropped open, then mouthed her name.

"Kara..."

Kara then watched in horror as Lena, distracted by her realization, missed her next step and pitched forward off the copter stairs and fell rapidly towards the ground. 

Without any thought that someone would see, Kara sped over and caught her. Her heart was pounding rapidly, amazed at the realization that, suddenly, she was holding Lena for the first time in over ten years, in the middle of a jungle, in the middle of no where. 

Lena had wrapped her arm around Kara’s shoulders to steady herself as she fell into her arms. For a few moments she stared wide-eyed and seemed to be in shock from seeing Kara and then suddenly falling through mid-air. She quickly pulled herself together, looked into Kara's eyes and started laughing.

"My hero."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H/T to RatedRSS87 for the Captain Marvel haircut idea :)


End file.
